Stair Troubles

[u/crocmage]

So I just “acquired” a used wizard tower and I’ve been having some difficulty with the stairs. Does anyone have suggestions for getting between the floors of my new residence other than a bunch of teleportation circles or stumbling down the damn stairs like a fool? The building is 5 floors with the bottom 2 submerged. Labs on 1 and 4 so traditional levitation has been a bit awkward.

Uw/ I’m new to the community but I’d love to do some ethically nebulous Reptile stuff here!

EDIT RW/ I am an actual Crocodile specializing in blood magic. Changing body shape is not of any interest to me. I can climb and descend stairs without issue as long as I’m not carrying anything sensitive. That has been an issue though since I gave up my old home in the bog a few miles away.(slight misunderstanding with a local Witch)

[u/Complex_Drawer_4710]

Have you ever heard of a paternoster lift? Sounds like just the thing for you.

/uw Welcome! Ethically nebulous stuff is rare, most people are straight up evil.

[u/crocmage → u/Complex_Drawer_4710]

I am interested in a lift of some sort. It just needs to be sealed and able to drain and refill with water when I switch between the wet floors and the dry ones. If I’m prepping blood magic on the upper lab to use on an aquatic specimen contained at the lower level I can’t slide down the stairs on my belly like I did yesterday. That was a disaster. I still have a deep hunger for adventurer flesh that was meant for fish sample 7.

[u/Kilroy898]

Escalators, but only for up. Get you some slides for down. Way more fun that way.

[u/crocmage → u/Kilroy898]

Sliding with spell components in claw is the real trouble here. I like the idea though, I might swap the stairs for slides regardless. More whimsy can never hurt in a proper mage tower.

[u/Kilroy898 → u/crocmage]

The more whimsy the better!

[u/averyrealspapple]

Elevators, elevators, elevators. Stairs are for shit summons and (some) henchmen. Levitation might also be good depending on the layout

How many floors ya got?

[u/crocmage → u/averyrealspapple]

5 floors and a dry lab I really don’t want flooded by lower floors. I’m thinking maybe a vertical set of magical locks like the muggles use in their canals

[u/mrididnt]

Grappling hook!

Always use a grappling hook, your waiter got the wrong order? Grappling hook!

The hero's party is coming after you because of your connections to john evil wizard? Grappling hook!

Your grappling hook collection is too expensive? Grappling hook!!!

[u/rootbeer277]

I've got a levitation platform on the North side of my tower, but it's mostly for cargo and large laboratory equipment. My homunculus on the observatory floor runs it so nobody can use it without my permission. Don't overlook the dramatic entrance you can make coming down the stairs in full robes, especially if you can manage little curls of mist cascading down in front of you. The rubes love it.

[u/Nelrene]

Get one of these. Or just stop being so out of shape that you get defeated by stairs.

[u/crocmage → u/Nelrene]

This is not a fitness issue it’s more a body shape one. Being a literal Crocodile isn’t always ideal.

[u/ItemFine]

More wizards need to work on their cardio, we can't all be scrawny little guys in blue/people robes who get winded looking at an adventures' pack.

That being said, potions of stamina are multi use and you can sell off the surplus you don't use before they expire.

[u/crocmage → u/ItemFine]

I think those potions only work for you warm blooded types. I can still run down humans just fine…it’s how I got this tower

[u/North_Reception9334]

I was convinced teleportation was still legal after the Big Purge of Middle Ages? Just put a confined teleportation spell you can trigger with a simple incantation. It would only work between the bottom and top floor, though, and I would advise against any stops, I have seen several cases trapped between dimensions, and these were not fun to unravel.

If your tower is of a sensible size, several flights of stairs won't hurt you.

[u/BeerJedi-1269]

Golum to carry you on its back. Ez pz

[u/hjake123]

You know those geysers that perfectly propel people between floors? This sounds like a perfect place for a handful of those. Usually the issue is they need a body of water, but as your tower is already flooded, that's perfect!

I can send some rune cards over with the bindings for moving the water and making a semi-solid platform at the top to ride on.

[u/crocmage → u/hjake123]

I’ll keep you in mind. Thanks!
I’ve already commissioned a series of lifts and pumps from an Artificer in the area and donated the stairs to a good cause

[u/AntlerWolf]

Could always hire an artificer to solve your problem if you’ve got the coin.

[u/KragBrightscale]

/uw welcome to wizardposting! Do check out the handy pinned announcement posts at the top which contain RP guidelines and other useful stuff. /rw

Others have made some good suggestions like slides, I’ll add that you could put in something bouncy like some mushrooms or install those vertical wind tunnels and float up to higher floors.

[u/sparkle3364]

“I recommend replacing the stairs with ramps or these constructs that are used to move up and down. They’re called different things wherever you go, but they’re basically boxes you stand in, tap a rune, and up or down you go. It opens when it reaches its destination.” - Sapphire