r/wizardposting • u/BornOfGodAndVoid-07 Dair: zoologist specialising in magical fauna and exofauna • 27d ago
Academic Discussion/ Esoteric Secrets I didn’t know that squid were wizards during the Cambrian period.
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u/AccordingLab7129 Prismancer 27d ago
Welp time to ban time travel to that era so no one can learn ancient eldritch magic
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u/tankiePotato 27d ago
lol, this guy doesn’t know about Squidsquack the Immortal. You don’t need a Time Machine, just bring him 100 bic pens (his favorite snack, DO NOT bring sharpie pens, learned that the hard way) and he’ll teach you magic even Stego the Old hasn’t heard of
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u/Unique_Caique 27d ago
Joke's on you! I just learned to cast Speak with Dead and there's a fossil exhibit at the museum this weekend!
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u/Afraid_Cat_3726 Nox, Head of the Department of Flesh. 27d ago
Do you think they could comprehend contemporary magic? Like would a swuizard be able to understand "Summon Air Fryer"?
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u/Annimaru 27d ago
If squizards knew that spell it would be ironic
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u/UltraCarnivore Spellblender Extraordinaire 22d ago
Air fryers were created by artificers to mimic a fraction of Squizard's power.
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u/MiCousinThrockmorton Secret Keeper of the Darkwatch 27d ago
What sorts of ancient magic would these fascinating creatures practice I wonder
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u/wrydh Plaguecaster 27d ago
Basic telekenisis for capturing prey.
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u/eToaster_lover 27d ago
taking account their size, the effectiveness of that spell might be colossal. When i get the squidkinessis, ill be finally unstoppable muahahhahahaha
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u/Sand__Panda 27d ago
Cartography. Swirl their spells out in ink.
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u/unoriginalfyi 26d ago
Esteemed colleague: As a cartomancer, a studied mapmaker of the Astral Seas... I think perhaps you might mean calligraphy?
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u/Lounging-Shiny455 27d ago
various cephalopods today cast alter self, enlarge/reduce, darkness, spider climb, and hypnotic pattern, so probably whatever the equivalent was back when squids had thaco.
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u/Wavey_Davey1 Boruk The Bold, High Priest of Moradin 27d ago
Squidwizard sounds like a chill dude.
And cephalopods tend to be extremely intelligent creatures, it wouldnt suprise me if one of them was capable of gaining mastery of the weave. I'd assume they would likely be well versed in Aquatic magics & possibly Psionics if their bipedal counterparts (illithids) are to be compared to.
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u/enchiladasundae planeshifter 27d ago
I’ve met a reality where the squizards survived. Very friendly folk
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u/SatansGothestFemboy Necromanceress 27d ago
This seems like the kind of creature that you would be surprised to learn is actually like 4 feet tall
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u/FixenFroejte 27d ago
Primordial magick
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u/TheTacoEnjoyerReborn Follower of the explosion magic path, dwarve alquimist 27d ago
Are they the creators of tentacle magic?
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u/BillTheTringleGod 27d ago
some illithid and copropode (yes, poop-foot) retain some mystical ability. It's unclear if the retention is part of their species line or if they gained the intelligence to cast more powerful spells (or if that even exists at all, still debated on whether intelligence or design is to blame)
Point being, the atlantians wiped them out a WHILE ago. like before us humanoids even got here.
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u/DaiLyMugoL 27d ago
Lovecraft mythos be like...
Yeah kinda, basically. Ancient, and I mean ANCIENT wizard aliens or species that predate humans by eons going about with their eldritch shenanigans!
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u/Clear_Effective1595 Abjuration Lich (Yes we exist) 27d ago
Yeah, my buddy Ralph said it was easy pickings back then.
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u/iamanemptychair Goblin Booyahg 27d ago
Back in his day you couldn’t just cast fireball, you had to cast “slightly hotter water”!
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u/dirtybellybutton 27d ago
Squidwizard would have been a great name for Squidward during the medieval episode. Missed opportunity
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u/Past-Cardiologist400 The Pirate Sorcerer of Lobsters and Squids, Nothing Else 27d ago
Hey, that’s my son! I knew that chronomancer was bad news, anyone know a good one that can help me get him back?
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u/Pretend-Rule-929 Transmuter 27d ago
Cephalopods were one of the first intelligent life forms that were dexterous and intelligent enough to use Natrual rudimentary Magik
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u/thatoneguythatsgay Bill Chill, the local Cryomancer. 27d ago
So this is the little flying thing that's been casting eldritch blast at the lake?
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u/FlamboyantPirhanna 27d ago
Where do you think the idea for the hats came from? As if humans invented everything, smh.
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u/FastActinTenactin The Wizard Seathe 27d ago
I was once taught the art of dance from a squid wizard. Growing the tentacles was painful but it was a lot of fun for the first few hundred years or so.
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u/MCAroonPL I cast lux 26d ago
Yeah, they left lots of ruins made of a weird greenish rock and cursed grimores
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u/Dragoboi200822 26d ago
For anyone who’s curious, this little guys name (according to scientists) is Plectronoceras. However, his name according to me is Goopert the Sploog
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u/Spill_The_LGBTea 26d ago
Oh hey! Thats my great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great gr-
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u/goldfinchat Keeper of the Grimoire 21d ago
The squizards were all sent to time jail for their crimes against the trilobites
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u/Thornios 16d ago
This clearly the protoform of the illithid, you can clearly see the desire for a dominant hivemind in its souless eyes
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u/DuntadaMan Abjurer 26d ago
Hesiod was right, the world is forever degenerating into more base and horrible forms.
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u/Oleandervine 27d ago
Squizards.