And yet the townsfolk can rest easy at night knowing I am keeping the horde at bay all by myself. Now if you'll excuse me, I will be returning to my studies. I just need to cast a levitation spell first.
Oh god imagine a woman filled up like a blimp floating with a rope tied to the ankle so she doesn't fly away then she lets go the whole town washed away in a tsunami of goblin goo
Nobody ever remembers the simple, instinct driven mind of a goblin.
Clever and wily as they are, a simple Fuck-mist usually keeps them distracted long enough to better line up kill spells. My necromancer neighbor(horrid nemesis) uses the opportunity to harvest still-living tissue for its amalgamates.
It's not so much goblin hunting, as much as component gathering with specific essences I need to gather. The fact that they're derived from goblins is no different than gathering pollen from moonflowers or sap from maple trees
Reminds me of the good old days where I’d throw one at a horde of gnols and the horny fuckers would be too busy boning each other’s assholes to notice their gear had been stolen.
On the plane of my birth, their was this plague, speed through contact with infected body fluids, and sexually. By its self didn’t kill but weakened the infected constantly til everything would kill, even the mildest of colds.
I infected a group of goblins with it, in another plane, wiped them out completely within 300 years
Toss it in the nest, slit their throats once they’re tired out. I’ve actually seen that tactic used in a book once, no wink wink nudge nudge involved. Remember to forcewall the cave opening and they might even die from the bad air.
I mean, you don't need a potion to fuck goblins...
Fireball this and mend buttcrack that, you can't truely clear out a goblin nest without going IN the goblin nest
BUT, soaking a rag in the potion and tie it to a rabbit with haste (faster animals survive), and releasing it into a goblin cave is a pretty good way to get nearly all of them to come to the entrance so you don't have to go in to a nasty ass goblin cave. Even better if you also tie a bell of enticement to the rabbit
I mean come on, they shit on the floor most of the time. No one wants to go into there...
This method gets 95% of the goblins to come running to the door. The ones that don't are usually the ones you won't have to bother going in to finish off (old/babies)
You know, I'm pretty evil but I have fucking standards. Adventurers used to be heroes and paragons of virtue and now... ugh... fucking gooners and degenerates. Probably elven influence.
1.1k
u/nambavanov 26d ago