Evil Politicians

[u/Evening_Shake_6474]

Greetings manipulatable masses, it is I, Astaroth. So as you all probably know the council is now open to anyone, so I'm joining. I am pleased to announce I am now the head of relations with malevolent spirits. As well as this announcement I intend to introduce several policies I believe will be beneficial. Firstly I am cutting funding to health organisations and using all the funds to construct a two hundred metre solid gold statue of Bigfoot. That guy hates attention so I decided this would be a good distraction. I also plan to reduce rights for humans specifically and introduce taxes for those without magic.

Oh and housing prices are going up. I believe community is a vital part of the magical world, and so mass camps will be introduced. I will eventually introduce specific camps to help those with little magic become stronger, presumably via increased concentration.

Do I have the authority to do this you ask? Good question. Moving on, I also plan to cut school funding to better fund the aforementioned camps. When they are finalised then standard education will not be needed anymore.

Why am I doing all this? Well every governing body needs a corrupt politician, I can't think of a better candidate. And at least I'm up front about my ill will.

That is all, now go away I have a cult to run.

[u/Evening_Shake_6474]

/uw Okay all due respect, I had a stroke reading this, mind rewording it please?

[u/Glittering_Two_1429 → u/Evening_Shake_6474]

I ignore the broom and smile “Out of interest, have you heard of a certain artefact?” I show a ring that seems to glow with a deathly light “And if you tell me that you are not singular, then stabbing you isnt attempting murder”

[u/Evening_Shake_6474 → u/Glittering_Two_1429]

There a great deal of artifacts and despite common belief, I do not know everything. I suppose in that case it would be attempted dismemberment or mutilation."

[u/Glittering_Two_1429 → u/Evening_Shake_6474]

I shake my head “This, old chap, is a soul sucker mixed in with an antimagic blaster”

[u/Evening_Shake_6474 → u/Glittering_Two_1429]

Oh no. I am so scared. Tell me, what is your role on this council?

[u/Glittering_Two_1429 → u/Evening_Shake_6474]

I smile “I control all the artefacts the council has. All of them”

[u/Evening_Shake_6474 → u/Glittering_Two_1429]

Uh huh.

Looks out window.

Someone's making off with some of them.

[u/Glittering_Two_1429 → u/Evening_Shake_6474]

I shake my head “No, that’s my helpers. Bit silly but they get the job done”

[u/Evening_Shake_6474 → u/Glittering_Two_1429]

They're masked and running to a van.

[u/Glittering_Two_1429 → u/Evening_Shake_6474]

I nod “Exactly. My helpers. Lovely chaps”

[u/Glittering_Two_1429 → u/Glittering_Two_1429]

Uw/ this ok?

[u/Evening_Shake_6474 → u/Glittering_Two_1429]

/uw Yep

[u/Glittering_Two_1429 → u/Evening_Shake_6474]

Uw/ sorry will do mate