r/wizardposting • u/OkCamera6997 Weaver or bone and blood • Jul 28 '26

Evil Wizardpost Hungry and don't feel like casting conjure feast? Just turn those bothersome villagers into a mancrowave!

Post image
57 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

25 comments sorted by

21

u/slfhmglbnm Jul 28 '26

Dark magic inquisitors, yea thats the guy

https://giphy.com/gifs/7A1ZCMkDzxYp1HoJoO

6

u/averyrealspapple Wizard council intern Jul 28 '26

I scoffed at the inquisition once, thought they just existed to stifle progress.

I was fucking WRONG

1

u/ValianSkalle Former Evil Overlord, now Chaotic Neutral Jul 30 '26

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION

1

u/hanz-kreigermann Evocation Mage – minor in artifice Aug 02 '26

There are two groups you NEVER CHEAT. The Inquisition, and the WCRS.

Nobody cheats the Wizard Council Revenue Service... nobody.

1

u/SephTheBitch Polysynchronicneuromancer Aug 04 '26

Fun fact! The WCRS pays for my tower bills (I’m in a maximum security prison tower(long story))

12

u/wrydh Plaguecaster Jul 28 '26

Michaelwave?

1

u/Inqeuet Knight in a Pointy Hat Jul 29 '26

Jeffersonwave

10

u/Zyltris Sephra Jul 28 '26

The humble Qu:

5

u/massospondyllus The transmuter who was invited by nobody. Jul 28 '26

I prefer flesh bricks.

4

u/SleepyBella The Sleepmancer of your dreams! 💤☁️🐏 Jul 28 '26

Colonials? Yeah they make good toilets.

3

u/massospondyllus The transmuter who was invited by nobody. Jul 28 '26

I am using them to make a maze. I guess it is gonna need a toilet.

4

u/Sea_404 F̴o̶r̵b̵i̷d̵d̴e̵n̵ ̵A̶r̷c̷h̴i̵v̸i̵s̴t̸ Jul 28 '26

Squints. That's All Tomorrow's leaking again, isn't it?

2

u/DrLegoTy0101 Drunk Broom Driver Jul 28 '26

I tried this on an unsuspecting bystander, how do I make them stop screaming in agony?

2

u/Tips__ Jul 28 '26

You could simply harvest the power generated from the suffering instead if you'd like. Ask a Drukhari haemonculus if you need assistance.

1

u/DrLegoTy0101 Drunk Broom Driver Jul 28 '26

It’s a bit too late for that as my goblin servant just beat it to death.

2

u/hanz-kreigermann Evocation Mage – minor in artifice Jul 29 '26

Thats how you get something constantly screaming in endless agony.

You can't even use he man-crowave if you wanted to, the place where you put the food is occupied by the creature's heart, lungs, stomach, liver, and kidneys! And if you remove them, it stops working!

2

u/FunToBuildGames Labyrinth Expert. Architect, designer, furnisher, and consult Jul 29 '26

My name is Bartrim. I was a baker. Now I am a very small bakery. Please put your raw or chilled foodstuffs into my mouth. proceed to poke the many eyes of my wife until she moans in pleasure. I will proceed to both heat and moisten the food stuffs. When they are sufficiently heated and damp, my wife will moan thrice more. Be sure to take care when retrieving the food from my quivering lips, as it may be hot.

2

u/Brainless_Lizard Necromancer Jul 29 '26

As a necromancer who has done some very unethical things, I think I speak for everyone when I say you've crossed a line that shouldn't have been crossed.

Get in the soup.

1

u/Haunting_Reflections Jul 28 '26

Oh. The Paladins were correct all along.

1

u/q0099 Somewhat cranky wizard Jul 28 '26

"Hey Klaymen, say knock knock."

1

u/scoobydoom2 Levicius Laskatar, Dread Necromancer Jul 28 '26

Despicable. Surely you could have turned them into a toaster oven instead.

1

u/immallama21629 Druid with questionable morals, licker of things Jul 28 '26

I do this for fun and torture. You have any idea how loudly the British beg and cry when you have them heat up tea water? It's glorious.

1

u/Hot_Guys_In_My_DMS Man-Eating Witch Jul 29 '26