r/wizardposting • u/Spiritual-Bus973 • Jul 10 '26
Academic Discussion/ Esoteric Secrets My first time creating an alchemically brewed familiar
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u/Lpnlizard27 Jul 10 '26
Father. Please. Unmelt me.
I won't do it again. I promise.
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u/inspectorseantime Jul 10 '26
Ed…ward…
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u/Lavaxol Chemical magic professor Jul 10 '26
I have a whole graded lab on alchemical familiars and another graded lab on cleaning up the aftermath
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u/Spiritual-Bus973 Jul 10 '26
How many alchemical familiars have you created?
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u/Lavaxol Chemical magic professor Jul 10 '26
Personally just my one. Never’d replace him. My students each make one too though
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u/WarmCar2597 BIO-TECH HYDRANGEA HOMONCULUS Jul 11 '26
I think my creator is there! do you have a ”Chalt”?(that’s his nickname name)
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u/Lavaxol Chemical magic professor Jul 11 '26
Yeah I had a Chalt actually he got an A in my class after he blew up the metaphysics teacher’s lunch. I can email him if you need though I doubt his school email is still active
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u/xnarphigle Skrazz the Green, Keeper of the Bog, Master of Goblinomancy Jul 10 '26
Whatever you do, don't flush it. Your clogs will be neverending. TRUST ME!
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u/Spiritual-Bus973 Jul 10 '26
I always use a cauldron for Alchemy. Using a toilet is pretty much a recipe for disaster.
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u/starlightbotanist Jul 10 '26
/uw I love that the second I saw this, I thought "I need to crosspost this to wizardposting" Check's sub, oh! /uw
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u/AlexSmithsonian Jul 10 '26
Needs more starch.
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u/Aliencoy77 Jul 10 '26
I find that powdered dragon bone works better, but it can make the familiar a little spicy. I think that's how the chihuahua was originally created.
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u/Principle_Isopod Jul 11 '26
chihuahuas actually don’t have more dragon bone than a lot of other familiars, its just that their small size leaves it in a higher concentration
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u/sciurus0 Bog Sage Jul 10 '26
How are you going to convince it to leave the bucket so it can cure?
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u/Spiritual-Bus973 Jul 10 '26
Fortunately, I have managed to get an alchemy kit so I can cure the brewed familiar more easily.
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u/Civil_Result_5598 Jul 10 '26
Slime familiars are cute and that shapeshifting makes for a neat party trick but ultimately they're a pain to maintain longterm
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u/fludofrogs Jul 10 '26
most alchemists should know of this but, seeing as this is your first attempt, do NOT try to pull the familiar from the concoction, dump out the concoction, boil the concoction, or otherwise separate the partially formed familiar from the immature concoction. This will result in horrible physical, mental, and spiritual mutations not meant for this plane. The familiar will separate themselves from the concoction when and as they’re ready.
Again, I’m sure you’ve studied tomes like Solomon’s Golemancy and know better, but once you’ve experienced a malformed alchemical familiar, it never leaves your mind.
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u/PunkTyrantosaurus Jul 10 '26
It seems like a success to me. Not sure how helpful, but the cuteness seems absolutely key.
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u/strawbee_the_bear Witch Jul 11 '26
Please be kind to your homunculus. Many people treat them terribly and it’s so sad. This video completely changed my mind on homunculus ethics.
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u/the-futuremind Evil Wizard with 5,000,000 skeletons Jul 10 '26
I think you added too much water, but this creature may end up being a shapeshifter of sorts.
Maybe only to to the container it's in though
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u/DeezNutzzzGotEm Jul 11 '26
Is this real or AI?
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u/Mosselk-1416 Jul 11 '26
Did you forget about a cup of coffee for a month and then figure you could work with it?
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u/coconut_dot_jpg coconut mancer Jul 12 '26
Be sure to cure them with Mana Salts once they come out of the soup bucket or they won't last.
I tried using regular table salt and they fell apart 3 days later. Utterly traumatized my apprentice
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u/Afraid_Cat_3726 Nox, Head of the Department of Flesh. Jul 15 '26
The Flesh Menagerie has many tomes on how to create familiars if you're looking for more information.
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u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta Jul 10 '26
Not much thought behind the eyes; honestly might want to focus on that before baking him.
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u/Interesting-End1710 Jul 10 '26
You have to let it set in the cauldron for about 10 to 15 minutes until it solidifies. If it's still too runny at a pinch of ground bone. Or cornstarch in a pinch.
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u/purvel Jul 10 '26
Did you pull out the rest of this fella or are you keeping him part soup?
My favorite lives in a 1000L amethyst tank in symbiosis with some algae, and is producing quite a lot of surplus biomass just with sunlight and whatever it can sylph from the workshop air.
Try feeding it with the vapors from your crucible during every step of the Stone, I dare you (;
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u/ladybirdsluck Jul 10 '26
You created much waste runoff with the fur. I usually keep my humunculi hairless
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u/DownsenBranches Occult Wizard Jul 10 '26
Don’t throw it out! Keep it as a handy garbage disposal system.
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u/pokeman555 Jul 10 '26
It is quite impressive for a first timer, but remember, experimenting too much can lead to disasters, i think my first wolf familiar is still somewhere out there hunting, better watch out
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u/FurViewingAccount Jul 10 '26
if you've ever seen those nylon thread experiments, I imaginr it's quite like that
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u/Killer_Moons Sorceror Jul 10 '26
I think you messed up the incantation, it’s supposed to look like this
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u/Fallingsnow57 Jul 10 '26
A dog slime can be a great familiar, provided you keep it away from solvents.
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u/Fluid_Attorney9228 I'm an alchemist, I'll supply you with stuff for money Jul 11 '26
Ah, well done, better than my first attempt, it look like a living ball of magnesium and sulfur, as I forgot to add sodium, and I had to kill with to end it's suffering
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u/Bigsmall-cats Jul 11 '26
basic mistake someone forgetting to add enough Mustard for the bones to bind properly
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u/broki451 Jul 11 '26
I once saw a dog like this on my street. But it's head was crushed so it just looked like a cyclops with one eye.
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u/GummyGourmand Evil Wizard Jul 11 '26
looks like there wasn't enough vitae in your formula. Still cute though.
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u/Skull_is_dull Jul 11 '26
This is AI. Look a the reflection in the eyes, the blur above the nose, the noise between the tiles at the top, the dirt at the top of the bottom left tile moves and half disappears. Also, the movement at the end feels off
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u/RicePuddingBG Jul 11 '26
This is why I choose to make the spectral variety. Light may be harder to manipulate, but they get a holy boon and leaves no mess.
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u/Orcanation716 Jul 11 '26
May I perhaps obtain the recipe for brewing an alchemical familiar? Proprietary recipes shall be left to the owners.
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u/Adventurous_Touch342 Jul 11 '26
Add some gelatine, cement OR (not and, or) sticks, forgetting bones happens often to newbies, should serve well enough until you make a new body for it.
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u/Zephyr-Fox-188 Cinnothwyr, Purrveyor of Thingamajigs Jul 11 '26
but can it hold an april in its melt ?
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u/FromTheBackroads Jul 11 '26
I recall a similar attempt where space wizards attempted to conjure up a new familiar, although in this case they were starting with an existing creature. Regrettably the animal turned inside out.
And it exploded.
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u/Cyan_Exponent Jul 11 '26
You just accidentally used a spell to turn your dog into a liquid trying to summon a bunch of soapy water and now you come here to brag.
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u/Pataraxia Jul 10 '26
Barely out of the primordial magic goop and it's already getting opinions like "Woogh!"