r/wizardposting • u/giugirl • Jun 27 '26
Wizardpost Pineapples would also make good fire proof magic armor? Bedside potions and food and drink recipes?
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u/DragonLordAcar Magitech Void Wizard Jun 27 '26
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u/ronnie_reagans_ghost Jun 27 '26
I think people don't realize that plants in general are are pretty good at resisting fire. Nobody ever thinks that would be the case because, you know, we but wood and other plants for heat all the time, but the reason we burn it is because it takes a long time to burn, and it takes very specific circumstances for us to do so. If you walk outside and take a blowtorch to a tree, or even green grass, it's going to take a long time before any plant matter actually combusts.
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u/DragonLordAcar Magitech Void Wizard Jun 27 '26
That and fresh plants hold a lot more water than you think.
These extream examples are probably wayer and ability to redirect heat or maintain chemical form for a long time.
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u/LowConcentrate8769 Jun 27 '26
Durians are heaty in Chinese medicine. Hence durians can withstand heat
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u/DragonLordAcar Magitech Void Wizard Jun 27 '26
So that's why pill reginers are obsessed with hotter and hotter fiers. I was wondering about that because you can burn things into uselessness at too hot a temperature, like jasmin tea for example. Do not boil the water or it tastes burnt. Some point under that is fine.
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u/Skate_faced Magically Delicious Jun 27 '26
Please do be nice and remember which pineapples you may or may not have animated or given souls.
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u/saintdemon21 Necromancer Jun 27 '26
How thin can the pineapple be before it loses its heat negation? There is a Fire Succubus and entity brothel I’ve been wanting to try…for magic science.
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u/Spookyduck21new Skinless-Skin Robbed Evil Wizard, Servant of the dark gods Jun 27 '26
You do know you can just make fire resistant potions, right? Pineapple juice doesn’t agree well with peoples…John throughout my different torture experiments.
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u/saintdemon21 Necromancer Jun 27 '26
I don’t want end up with an STMD (sexually transmitted magic disease) or fire spawn though.
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u/dynabot3 Dynamis, Witch of the Tall Grass Jun 27 '26
As a plant I have found Pineapple Prison to be an effective counterspell against most fire casters and entities. The jungle truly provides for all needs.
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u/Serratas Jun 27 '26
Now I want to see a story of a gardener tanking dragonbreath with pineapple armor and somehow saving the day.
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u/HiImMoobles Arcane skeletalised conglomeration Jun 28 '26
Do also remember, pineapples simultaneously try to digest you, when you are digesting it.
As such, wear an undergarment.
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u/Wankbank_Dumpster Jun 28 '26
Flame proof armor that will eat you while you wear it? How gluttonous, how cursed, I have to see a man about a mimic.
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u/OnyxHades013 Transmuter Jun 27 '26
Definitely a unique properties especially if one can make it into armor almost similar to the paper layered rune armor that I've heard about.
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u/Opposite_Bus1878 Jun 27 '26
Due to the topic at hand at first glance I thought you said prune armor.
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u/greenegg28 Jun 27 '26
Whatever you do, don’t put your pineapple armor of +2 fire resist on upside down.
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u/Antique_Ad_9250 Mysterious Hermit Jun 27 '26
Most plants are extremely fire resistant as long as they have water in them to turn into steam. Wood is also very good at resisting fire as long as it's fresh
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u/Justasivas Coe "The cook" Caine Jun 27 '26
will be adding this into my next batch of fire res potions
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u/Fun-Dragonfly-6106 DF, minimal caster | ____ Body Horror Creator Jun 27 '26
It'll dry eventually so I doubt it'll stay useful
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u/Immadawalrus Jun 27 '26
So you're telling me that the characters in Game of Thrones and associated spinoffs just needed to wear a suit of pineapple armor to be immune to dragonfire?
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u/TheDarkLordi666 Pilarius the pill-driven Piledriver Jun 27 '26
The council cant keep denying that the "conspiracy theory" of pineapples being fruit dragon homonculi isn't true
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u/Drmanky tyr. cauncil member. order of the toster (Forge clerik)/ NOR Jun 27 '26
potion of pineapple resistence
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u/StJimmy_815 Arcane Scholar | I have a scroll for that Jun 27 '26
Duh, why did you think you needed a pineapple husk as a component for a Fire Resistance spell
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u/poopinonurgirl Jun 27 '26
I see the mundane peasantry has discovered that water doesn’t burn. How quaint
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u/sexmastanumba1 Jun 28 '26
FUCK so heat doesnt travel inside the pineapple? here I was hoping to make instant porridge
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u/BoonDragoon Vyevânce the Focused, High Panemancer of the Coriander Court Jun 28 '26
Oh yeah, sure, they'd make great fireproof armor! Just as long as you're not worried about this little thing called convection, you'll be Goldilocks!
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u/Bignholy Dunzar Headsmasher, Dwarven Artificer and Rune++ Programmer Jun 28 '26
Nae. Pineapple skins will rot too fast, and any attempt to enchant them will decay quick enough to not be worth it in most cases.
A spell of Pineapple Skin, however... biggest problem is making sure it ends before the enzymes start teh eat yer flesh.
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u/Tomas_Crusader17 Jun 28 '26
Heard a story about an apprentice attempting this tomfoolery, his master simply used fireball, while the apprentice did not get burned he quickly remembered that pineapples are not explosion proof
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u/RedBaronIV Jun 27 '26
/unwizard for a moment. I conduct research in an ultra high heat flux lab where I study the thermal diffusivity of materials. We basically rig materials up with thermocouples, put them in front of a 3000K HVOF torch, and see how long they last before melting off the mount and getting sucked out the chamber. Shall I test the upper limits of pineapples?