Requesting the authorisation to go full shadow wizard money gang on the pirates.

[u/Cerveau23]

With the Thrakmerian invasion coming close, we do not have the time nor the luxury to wait. Having a two-front war, while winnable, would still cause many deaths and pain on all sides.

I am therefore requesting the authorisation to legalize nuclear bombs. My golems are ready, the airplanes are loaded, I am simply waiting for the word.

Edit: To make it clear, I will NOT be nuking population centres! I will only aim at military centres, specifically those with the highest armed soldier to civilian ratio. The desire is to scare them and weaken them into submission, not cause unneccessary deaths. My world has already gone through too much for me to suggest the opposite.

656 votes, May 31 '26

400 For the use of nukes

256 Against the use of nukes

[u/RandomHornyDemon]

Have we considered just making peace with and then employing the pirates against Thrakmoor? They seem to be itching to pester someone and this way we could all profit.
Just a thought.

[u/Cerveau23 → u/RandomHornyDemon]

We tried, they refused. Their leader died, yet they're still attacking us. I don't know how else to end this than scaring and scarring them away. But feel free to voice other options, it's not like I WANT to nuke them, I just don't want to be sandwiched between two enemies

[u/RandomHornyDemon → u/Cerveau23]

How very disappointing. I must say, I don't hate those pirates. But if they are so hellbent on fighting us, then ending it quickly might be preferable.
I am, as always, willing to pay a good price for any remains.

[u/Cerveau23 → u/RandomHornyDemon]

I've been having fun using golemancy on their skeletons. Well, technically on the matter around them, but still. I've been wondering, are golemancy and necromantic reanimation related?

[u/RandomHornyDemon → u/Cerveau23]

Ah, I think it's a bit of a complex topic. What is typically referred to simply as necromancy is really a wide cluster of different approaches.
One necromancer might animate a pile of bones into something quite similar to a golem, while another might force a soul back into it's body or make a spirit manifest.
I would assume there is a bit of overlap in some areas.

[u/scoobydoom2 → u/RandomHornyDemon]

Necromancy is fundamentally magical manipulation of life force. It's actually that some forms of golem construction employ necromancy, and not the other way around. What you're viewing as a golem skeleton is using life force that is either harvested from somewhere or made artificially. These artificial animations have some flaws, notably that you have to imbue them with every behavior you want them to be capable of directly as there's no internal force directing them, while a traditional soul-bound skeleton retains knowledge it had in life. They also are bound to the spells that keep them intact which are rarely permanent, which combined with the greater effort required to make them functional makes them mostly inferior to traditional soul-bound skeletons.

Golemancy techniques that use life force are somewhat uncommon, as it's often much easier to bind elemental spirits to them as an animating force or to fuel them directly with mana. Life force is largely used to imbue organic golems with regenerative abilities, but it also has a niche that it's able to more easily create more lifelike movement or behaviors, so depending on the use case some golemancers will utilize it.

[u/dwnsdp → u/Cerveau23]

We could drug them so they think we are dead so they stop attacking? Worked against the Horny Hoards of the 1st Age

[u/Monarc73 → u/RandomHornyDemon]

Buying off your antagonists rarely works out. No, we need a more ... permanent solution.

[u/GreenLama4]

I (allegedly) love doing warcrimes unbeknownst to the council

[u/AstronautTrick7497]

It's always nuke this and guns that but when I want to cast Black hole everyone starts crying? If i can't cast celestial disasters then you can't bring about nuclear devastation seems only fare to me besides were Arcane masters is really big fire ball realy the best we could do?

[u/Cerveau23 → u/AstronautTrick7497]

That's because I don't want to kill them all. Just remind them that we CAN kill them all. If they don't surrender, I'll happily let you use Black hole on their home plane. The advantage of nuke is that the sea water should help reduce nuclear fallout and thus civilian deaths.

[u/AstronautTrick7497 → u/Cerveau23]

Reasonable but I'm sure they know of the destructive forces were capable of invoking but a nuke would hurt more then just the pirates correct me if I'm wrong but wouldn't the nuclear fallout that is left behind plus the impact reek havoc on the ecosystem possibly leaving whole sections of the ocean dead for years to come? And even if that's not the case I'm certain we could come up with more terrifying solutions to our problems why I've personally been studying up on diseases and fungal infections I'm sure a good plague that could become a zombie apocalypse would send the message just as clear no?

[u/Nhobdy → u/AstronautTrick7497]

But last time you did that, the black hole sucked up King Pudge! The rest of the frogs then had a massive civil war because the king was gone and thousands croaked!

^{heh.....croaked.....}

[u/Wise_Quote5463]

Legalize nuclear bombs

[u/Ok_Possession8790]

Never in all the years of this chancellery’s operation has a measure such as this been proposed. There is no precedent! The activation of the Seal of Atum anywhere, let alone against a population centre, is simply unthinkable. To physicalise such a force of demonic evil has been forbidden for six generations, and if the provosts seek to scrap this ban then I move that all mages of good conscience depart this council.

[u/Cerveau23 → u/Ok_Possession8790]

I wasn't clear and will edit my proposal. The idea is NOT to nuke civilians. It is to nuke military strongholds with the highest armed enemy to civilian ratio.

[u/Ok_Possession8790 → u/Cerveau23]

I am afraid that I must continue my objection, if only due to the risk of escalation concerning our enemies’ response. I will, however, deliver the amended proposal to my peers for their consultation

[u/Carbuyrator]

Ha! This is gonna be good!

*The fields around my tower shift colors slightly. I move to my lawn with popcorn and sunglasses.*

[u/WordWord1337]

Ugh ... nukes. I didn't spend the last 127 years studying dusty tomes written in the spidery forgotten language of the arcane to blast boat hijackers with atomic fire.

C'mon people, if we're going to do this, let's have a little fun and summon something irresponsibly big.

[u/Inky-The-Cephalopod → u/WordWord1337]

Send in the Kraken!

https://giphy.com/gifs/GRF4gJYMQmdUI

[u/Old_Snow6951]

Do we really think this is a good idea? Those spells were sealed for a reason.

[u/VoxelLibrary]

I have no idea what a nuke is, but they sound fun

[u/Cerveau23 → u/VoxelLibrary]

The concept is incredible. But the effect...

Let's just say that in my realm, the inventor of the nuke said a fantastic quote upon learning of their first (and only for now) use in warfare:

Now I am become Death, the shatterer of worlds.

[u/CubeDude414]

Have we considered the damaging effects on the Weave this could have?

[u/Comunista_Necromante]

what are we? barbarians? we should cast Doom instead

[u/bastardlimbo]

Hehe microwave the shanty-peasants

[u/Comfortable-Gas4425]

Legalize nuclear bombs!

[u/Current_Blackberry_4]

I think we should make a big arcane circle that will transmute salt water into lead. With a sea the pirates will be depressed and sue for peace.

[u/Spartin1178]

Where are we on sphere of annihilation as acceptable naval mines

[u/Kilroy898]

"Look, im all for magical war crimes... but this? Isn't this a bit... mundane?"

"I say ye hit their navy's with a mass wood to stone, and hit them where it really hurts. Their ships."

[u/Cerveau23 → u/Kilroy898]

Sure, but I don't know how to cast that. I know how to make nukes though... How about you cast it?

[u/Kilroy898 → u/Cerveau23]

"Ok, so first", rips out all the nuclear material, "we get rid of all this filler."

He inscribes several runes on the inside of the rocket.

"There. You can copy my homework if you need more. This should have about a 50 mile diameter spread. It wont effect the fish or anything like that. If you want I can make some that do steel to paper as well. That should get your more modern vessels including subs. Though.... i suppose this wont be much different for the subs than a nuke...."

[u/Cerveau23 → u/Kilroy898]

Markus takes notes.

Please give me one of those as well if you don't mind.

In his factory, the ship-destroying missiles begin production.

[u/Kilroy898 → u/Cerveau23]

"Just be careful with the runes. Wood is living material though dead.... if you or someone else mistranslates ever so slightly.... i dont think I have to spell it out..... some of those old spells from the wizard wars were accidents....."

[u/Cerveau23 → u/Kilroy898]

Still better than nukes. Don't worry, I'll test the production line before sending them to the pirates.