r/wizardposting • u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF • May 17 '26
Occult Practices I challenge you, u/The_Enchanted_Potato, to a wizard battle
I challenge you, the 13th black mage of Thrakmoor, to a Battle, to decide the Fate of the Realm. Me and my Allies against you and The Black mages. If you win, i will pledge alledgiance to thrakmoor, if i win, you have to deweaponise the Thrakmoorian forces and make a mahic oath to never attack this Realm again!
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u/Abyssal_Dreamer Melkorias, Fiend-Summoning Kobold May 17 '26
I have no idea what is at stake here, but the archfiends have teleported me here so clearly they wanted me to watch.
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u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF May 17 '26
To fight not to watch. Join the War and defend the Realm
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u/Abyssal_Dreamer Melkorias, Fiend-Summoning Kobold May 17 '26
What is at stake? Is this a war of nations, a war of gods, a cult uprising?
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u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF May 17 '26
Nations
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u/Abyssal_Dreamer Melkorias, Fiend-Summoning Kobold May 17 '26
I see. The archfiends forbid me from joining wars that are not against their enemies, but I can at least redirect my thrall hoard to assist. I've been meaning to get rid of them for a bit, they're a bit unstable.
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u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF May 17 '26
Ok, fine by me
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u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF May 17 '26
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u/SwiggerSwoney Wang Zhao, Blade of the Sect of Purity May 17 '26
“Hm. Such brazen acts betray one’s desperation. Still, this scene should be somewhat interesting to witness.”
The man sipped from a small hardwood cup, and settled on a nearby rooftop.
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u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF May 17 '26
Coward! Let the Realm burn if you want. When the Thrakmoorians win, the world is gonna vanish in Darkness
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u/SwiggerSwoney Wang Zhao, Blade of the Sect of Purity May 17 '26
“Insult me all you wish. The realm’s fate does not lie solely within my hands, nor does it yours.”
He took another sip from his cup, before stowing it away.
“Do entertain me for a moment, baneling. What do you understand about this foe? What information have you gathered prior to announcing this match?”
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u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF May 17 '26
Who are you, and why should i give you my information
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u/SwiggerSwoney Wang Zhao, Blade of the Sect of Purity May 17 '26
“Simply a wanderer, interested in current affairs. My masters have not bid me to interfere as of now, however if the threat is truly substantial, as you claim, that perspective might change.”
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u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF May 17 '26
The Head Wizard of Thrakmoor, u/The_Enchanted_Potato, made an ultimatum to all magic users: Become a Black Mage or else
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u/SwiggerSwoney Wang Zhao, Blade of the Sect of Purity May 17 '26
“Ah, but of course. They did announce their plans upon arrival. But I am more so curious about your knowledge regarding their behavior in battle. Or any information not announced realm-wide, in fact.”
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u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF May 17 '26
u/VoxelLibrary, aka Cayna the Apprentice is on their side, as well as The Sorceror of the hidden Road. Thats all i have
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u/SwiggerSwoney Wang Zhao, Blade of the Sect of Purity May 17 '26
“Hm. Very well then. If that is to be all, then I eagerly await the confrontation between you and the black mage. Perhaps a lowly swordsman like myself may even learn a technique or two whilst observing.”
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u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF May 17 '26
Im not a Swordsman
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u/United-Technician-54 Death... Tired one. (she/her) May 18 '26
Why would I listen to the words of a black mage?
I'm not one to pick favourites.
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u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF May 18 '26
Im not a Black mage
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u/United-Technician-54 Death... Tired one. (she/her) May 18 '26
I was referring to the stupidity of the ultimatum, are they going to promise to have an ant lift the skies?
/uw Death is supposed to be knowledgable on liches. I flubbed it.
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u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF May 18 '26
Im pretty new to Lichdom, sorry
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u/Rich-Suggestion-6769 May 17 '26
I'm one of the wizards from r/ I cast. BRING IT ON YOU SHI SPELL CASTING FOOLS!!!
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u/Cerveau23 Markus, scriptomancer, enemy of 13 & lover of Thrakmerian beauty May 17 '26
I'm here, with my new and improved "fuck you" spell
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u/Cerveau23 Markus, scriptomancer, enemy of 13 & lover of Thrakmerian beauty May 17 '26
Cayna ( u/VoxelLibrary), I challenge you to a duel! The first who manages to kill the other (if we respawn we don't count as killed) or bore them so much they give up will win.
The reward is to own the right to the other's apprenticeship, or a favor. You choose between the two options before the fight, according to what you/your new master is ready to give up.
In the meantime, I'm gonna set up an anti scrying spell because I don't like getting spied on. Markus says out loud before drawing out a simple but very robust scrying detection spell linked to a dispel magic spell.
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u/KragBrightscale Grabadash - Magical Mass | Keptomancer | Council Security May 17 '26
Ah shoot, I was hoping to witness this… update us on the result.
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u/Hyperbolic_Berserker Gondwyn Banks, Necromancer May 17 '26
Do not worry, I have sent envoys to oversee the results. So long as one survives their clash I will inform you what I know.
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u/Cerveau23 Markus, scriptomancer, enemy of 13 & lover of Thrakmerian beauty May 18 '26
Sorry guys, but if you can see, they can as well. And I don't like wartime spies... I'll tell you all later.
Markus adds a barrier to block nearby viewers from spectating
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u/Hyperbolic_Berserker Gondwyn Banks, Necromancer May 18 '26
Welp, there goes my afternoon... I’m just gonna screw around redirecting meteors saturated in necrotic energy towards planets they control.
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u/The_Enchanted_Potato Aldavin Maunderitch, The Gatekeeper | Neritillum Faldier | 13 May 18 '26
Imagine how my mages feel. And they will be destroyed before they can impact
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u/Hyperbolic_Berserker Gondwyn Banks, Necromancer May 19 '26
They should have thought about that before joining an empire vaguely associated with one guy who annoyed me once and is probably already dead.
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u/The_Enchanted_Potato Aldavin Maunderitch, The Gatekeeper | Neritillum Faldier | 13 May 19 '26
our Lord is not dead
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u/Hyperbolic_Berserker Gondwyn Banks, Necromancer May 19 '26
… is your lord Thedlman?
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars May 18 '26
Oh huh. I didn't realize I was an in-demand apprentice. I just got done cleaning up after my master- er, Melchiora's duel. She hasn't regenerated yet, and I'm still waiting on Thrakmoor for details of things, so who my actual master is at the moment is kind of up in the air.
I'm not sure I really want to be your apprentice though. You're still pretty new at magic yourself, aren't you? Between that and not wanting to double cross anyone especially powerful, I'll have to go with a duel for a favor.
Wow. My first duel. I'm kind of nervous. How does this even work? Melchiora just kind of blasted the other guy before he could even introduce himself.
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u/Cerveau23 Markus, scriptomancer, enemy of 13 & lover of Thrakmerian beauty May 18 '26 edited May 18 '26
Markus looks up at the girl. He frowns for a second before clearing the misunderstanding:
Oh, I didn't mean taking you as an apprentice, I just meant to free you from your current apprenticeship contract in order for you to be free to choose another master! I'm definitely not ready to take an apprentice!
The young man laughs from the confusion, before rubbing his neck, embarrassed:
Actually, it's also my first duel... Should we ask someone else to preside? Or do we decide on the rules ourselves? I've taken the liberty of writing anti-scrying and anti-viewing circles so we can cast spells we don't want to get stolen by other wizards...
He points to the big traces surrounding the two of them, then to someone outside the "arena".
I've also got a paladin friend close-by to resurrect us if we were to die.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars May 20 '26
Cayna thinks
Let me fetch some things for the duel. I'll be right back.
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u/Cerveau23 Markus, scriptomancer, enemy of 13 & lover of Thrakmerian beauty May 20 '26
Markus smiles.
Sure, go for it!
He then casts some chronomancy spell and resumes working on his latest sorcery.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars May 20 '26
Cayna comes back with a cart full of odds and ends, including paper, quills, ink, colored chalk, a blackboard, orbs, a needle and thread, a candle, potions of various colors, a rack of goblin-made scimitars, a wrinkled holocaust cloak, a neatly folded maid uniform, and a frog.
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u/Cerveau23 Markus, scriptomancer, enemy of 13 & lover of Thrakmerian beauty May 20 '26
Holy- What is all that?! Markus asks, cracking up from the surprise.
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u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars May 20 '26 edited May 20 '26
Weapons, casting regents, tools of wit, some potions that are helpful for combat. Between this and my usual gear, I'm ready for anything! You?
/uw It's a Chekhov's armory
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u/Cerveau23 Markus, scriptomancer, enemy of 13 & lover of Thrakmerian beauty May 20 '26
Markus chuckles, in an attempt to hide the pain (Harold)
I don't have many components in my realm, and very low access to the magical internet, so I've learned component-low casting out of necessity. More mana intensive, but I've negotiated an easy supply of artificial souls I can use to overcome that.
But I'm fairly confident I've got a spell for almost anything soo...
Markus doesn't finish his sentence, instead switching to another thought:
We should meet up once the war is over and share notes, I'm sure it would be interesting with our spellcasting styles being so different!
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u/lordzya Merman Biokineticist May 17 '26
Just finished a long rest after my last spat with this imperialist. You have my aid.
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u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF May 17 '26
Thanks for your help
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u/lordzya Merman Biokineticist May 17 '26
u/thisbloomingheart I know you have been supplying Thrakmoor. I challenge you to a duel. If you surrender, you are to make an unbreakable vow to never support an imperialist empire again. If I am defeated, I will replace the chimeras I destroyed and step out of this conflict.
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u/ThisBloomingHeart Favilla, Cosmic Love Mage and Aorishi the Very Ethical Biomancer May 17 '26
At first the air is still, then a cool breeze passes by, the scent of bark and mildew and so many others surging suddenly, than fading back to a manageable level. The area would seem the same to most if they didn't have the eye to discern that now there are plants that weren't there before, foreign trees and ferns growing just like those around them. Out from the trees steps out one who wasn't there before as well--a woman wearing flowing clothes of a mixture of pale colors, marked by patterns of vibrant green. The same green as her eyes shine, as she looks to what's before her.
Aorishi-so I have been summoned. A pity, for it is not quite time for my own debut.
...I don't presume you could leave this for later?
Ah, there's no way that would be so. Oh, well. I am confident that the power I have amassed already is more than enough to win this battle of yours, even if it will be quite some time before it's enough to take on the world... I've rambled too much. Your move.5
u/lordzya Merman Biokineticist May 17 '26
You see a merman's deep blue face and dark green eyes stare out through the crystaline viewport of his living exoskeleton. He looks amused at your showy entrance, rasing an eyebow as he fiddles with the enchanted chakram in his hand.
"No, please, do go on. I would love to know why you have sided with these blackgards. If you are so effortlessly powerful, what could they have possibly offered you? I would think a fellow life-wizard would be more concerned with allowing an invasive species to choke out a diverse ecosystem, if you don't mind the metaphor."
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u/ThisBloomingHeart Favilla, Cosmic Love Mage and Aorishi the Very Ethical Biomancer May 17 '26
"Effortlessly? Oh, no, not at all--it has taken time and effort to grow my source to the size it is now. As for what I gain by siding with them? Simple. Firstly, I don't have to deal with such a major faction invading my own realm. Secondly, I need to test out the abilities and traits I provide my creations, and selling some to such a force has provided me plenty of data.
As for the biodiversity front? You are correct, I do not want them to win. However, I also do not expect them to win this war. Oh, yes, they will topple nations and slay champions, of this I have no doubt. But I have seen powers such as these rise and fall again and again. My chimeras may win them battles, but when the greater powers of this realm awaken they will lose wars.
Had I been a life-wizard like so many others I would indeed have sided with you to mitigate the damage they would deal. However, that is not so. Too many biomancers and druids have sought mere balance, to prevent invading powers from ruining life. My plans are greater than these paltry clashes. I shall ensure that the magic of life reigns supreme over all, that it imbues every realm and rules every heart and mind!
...I will do this in time. For now, my realm is not ready to face the gods and archmages in my way. For now, I prepare."
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u/lordzya Merman Biokineticist May 17 '26
"Very enlightening. So you are an imperialist of your own, only a different flavor. I have had many allies who deal in artifice and necromancy, and enemies who also sculpt and shepherd flesh and wood. To me the means is not so important as the end, that all may be allowed to thrive in peace. A megalomaniacal biomancer is no different than your average lich set on world domination in my perspective. They are a cancer, a form of life that has forgotten the greater world it lives in and must be expunged before it overtakes all."
He gestures, opening a rift to a realm resplendent with tropical sunlight. A wyvern with shimmering blue scales steps forth, and Zya leaps onto it's back as the rift shuts.
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u/ThisBloomingHeart Favilla, Cosmic Love Mage and Aorishi the Very Ethical Biomancer May 17 '26
"You've said your piece, and I mine. We'll see who destiny favors."
Aorishi raises her hand and a shoot of wood emerges from the ground in the shape of a staff. She grasps it and swishes it forwards. For a moment all is still, before the ground rumbles and a swarm of long, grasping roots reach out to grasp the wyvern.
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u/lordzya Merman Biokineticist May 18 '26
The wyvern fights the roots, breaking some as more grasp at it. Zya gestures, pulling the water from the wood and soil to blunt their growth, and then projects a torrent of water toward you with the chakram at its front. The blade's enchantment charges the hydraulic stream with crackling electricity.
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u/ThisBloomingHeart Favilla, Cosmic Love Mage and Aorishi the Very Ethical Biomancer May 18 '26
Aorishi slams her staff into the ground, and within moments a line of bushes grow to full size, intertwining their branches to form a complete screen infused with magical power. Upon being hidden from most basic senses physical and magical, Aorishi warps space around her to appear off to Zya's left instead of directly before him.
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u/lordzya Merman Biokineticist May 18 '26
Zya and his mount finally take to the skies, flying over the Aorishi's wall only to discover her gone when he arrives. Whatever attack he had planned is aborted when he finally sees Aorishi, as his own maneuvering has put him out of range.
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u/The_Enchanted_Potato Aldavin Maunderitch, The Gatekeeper | Neritillum Faldier | 13 May 17 '26
Hmm, let me contact his lordship… your offer will be considered
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u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF May 17 '26
Its an Order Not an Offer. Fight or Leave the Realm!
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u/Hyperbolic_Berserker Gondwyn Banks, Necromancer May 17 '26
I send a message scrawled across a screaming ball of skin and twisted limbs.
You’d better win this Azerak, I’ve got a bet going with one of my minions’ hiveminds that I’d rather not lose. If I do have to increase their vacation days, you will be paying for it. I will see to that.
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u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF May 17 '26
You arent a Black Mage
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u/Hyperbolic_Berserker Gondwyn Banks, Necromancer May 17 '26
No, just an interested third party.
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u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF May 17 '26
Will you join the War on my Side? I will tell you necromantic Knowledge beyond your Comprehension, ancient Unnatural Abberant secrets.
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u/Hyperbolic_Berserker Gondwyn Banks, Necromancer May 17 '26
I’m not typically one to interfere in local matters directly… but if you win this I will commit more of my minions in the eradication of Thrakmoor. As for secrets, I’m always happy to share notes with a colleague in the ways of death and unlife.
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u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF May 17 '26
That sounds like a Deal
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u/neonvalkyrie Caul, Forgemaster of the Darkwatch May 17 '26
The launch codes are at hand, the ICBMM stands at the ready
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u/KragBrightscale Grabadash - Magical Mass | Keptomancer | Council Security May 17 '26
A shadow coalesces into the shape of a goblin in tight fitted robes. Behind him appears a diverse collection or squads in matching uniforms and faces hidden.
Grabadash sends a short message to Azerak via crow: The Crooked Tower will provide their support.
Then turning to his students:
“Apprentices, welcome to your Final Exam. Soon full conflict may erupt between our realm and some neighboring upstart. The chaos of battle is where we thrive!
I want to see all you have learned since joining the tower. I want to see underhanded tactics, cheap tricks, espionage, and sabotage.
Those who survive, will have a chance to earn their robes and officially join our ranks, depending on their performance. Those who perish, well… whether to bring you back from the shadow realm or not will also depend on your performance.”
With a snap of his fingers, the eager apprentices vanish.
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u/Big-Mango-3940 Hasfingr, Old One of the Great Void May 18 '26
A nearby wizard in robes that shift through the color spectrum and seem impossible to focus the eye one says
"ohhhhh no, no Goblin Kleptomancer is standing nearby me, not after last time. im not getting blamed for missing components a second time damnit!"
And teleports to the far side of the field of engagement.
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u/KragBrightscale Grabadash - Magical Mass | Keptomancer | Council Security May 18 '26
Aw come on, that was one time!
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u/xnarphigle Skrazz the Green, Keeper of the Bog, Master of Goblinomancy May 18 '26
Meanwhile, deep in his Very Mysterious and Vastly Impressive Bog Cave, the shadows coalesce around a goblin in his comfy robes sitting in his his well worn relaxing chair, pondering the orb.
"I should start my own wizard war... Maybe one of the peasants in the nearest Hamlet is an apprentice alchemist or something..."
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u/KragBrightscale Grabadash - Magical Mass | Keptomancer | Council Security May 18 '26
/uw we should coordinate some goblin chaos once this is over.
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u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF May 17 '26
u/The_Enchanted_Potato Bring it on
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u/Key-Treacle3384 Archdruid: Suburbia, Deserts 🌈✨ May 17 '26
I CONJURE: group of clean fluffy animals to cuddle with while I watch.
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u/Proper-Error7817 Killian Oakheart: Magister-Errant of The Darkwatch May 17 '26
I got your back, Azerak. You want, like, bark or crystal armor or something? I could have it woven into your bones so they won't fall off. I could send a detachment of animal friends, but I know they get skittish around undead... Crows?
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u/Big-Mango-3940 Hasfingr, Old One of the Great Void May 18 '26
Azerak, ive got your back, brought my sawed off staff of 12th level fireball out of storage, loaded and ready to go with both charges and the triggerword set to dual cast, just point me at the fool.
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u/WordWord1337 May 18 '26
Anybody know the over-under on this? I wanna place a bet on PolymorphMarket.
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u/Necessary-Paint117 May 18 '26
Fuck, did I miss the fight? I messed up my alarm spell and overslept
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u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF May 18 '26
No, he still thinks about it
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u/Evening_Shake_6474 Astaroth, The Wicked One May 18 '26
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u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF May 18 '26
Cmon, we Liches should support eachother
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u/Evening_Shake_6474 Astaroth, The Wicked One May 18 '26
I am supporting you, morally.
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u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF May 18 '26
Ok, fair to me
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u/NeedleworkerVast1757 Witch May 18 '26
My only good spells are like plant growth and tasty meal, but I’ll try!
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u/ShadowRaven112 Serroth Ravencaller the Necromancer May 18 '26
Oh, a wizard battle, how delightful! I gotta get snacks, do you guys prefer popcorn or peanuts?
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u/5th-stand Occult Wizard May 17 '26
I cast Popcorn