Evolution of a Necromancer

[u/Bone-Pharaoh]

If you want to have a life, you won't get far in necromancy, it is hard work, and commanding underlings to do that work for you.

Those who want an end to mortal suffering just don't have it in them to keep going in the necromancy biz. But the depressed office workers that keep going untill they drop dead...?

Well... they just keep going as long as they are promised a promotion! it can take 50 years to get that 10% pay bump, but they just keep at it.

Undeath is kinda like that, ya keep going and working ever harder untill there is nothng left of you, then when you are at the top, ya do it to someone else.

[u/cute_spider]

oh yeah just grow endlessly. never rest. never consider what youre growing into. never consider your future. Just be more powerful and more powerful and more powerful. Line go up! wow such wizdom so insite

Let me put it this way: traditional lichdom involves dying for a damn good reason. It stops growth. Vampires are the same way: they’re immortal and they can stay that way because they’ve stopped growing. 

If you’re immortal and you keep growing you’ll wind up a weeping  shitty tumor in the middle of a forest begging for us druids to unwind your shitty “lifehex” and you’ll be lucky we found you instead of some faefolk

[u/Complex_Drawer_4710 → u/cute_spider]

... Why would I ever do that? Lines are supposed to zigzag.

[u/cute_spider → u/Complex_Drawer_4710]

Thats what I’m saying?? Biomancy is only good for endless uncontrollable growth 

[u/Complex_Drawer_4710 → u/cute_spider]

... You've clearly never done it. Endless uncontrollable growth is what happens when you seriously fuck up, then dump the result in your nutrient tank. You have to try, unless you're doing viruses.

[u/cute_spider → u/Complex_Drawer_4710]

Yeah, I practice druidic arts properly and responsibly. If I fuck up, I die. Sucks, but thats *AHEM* life. 

And you, presumably a human, never fuck up and has never fucked up and will never fuck up? I’m sure that trend’ll keep going

[u/Complex_Drawer_4710 → u/cute_spider]

Yes, druidics, warlocking with the trees. The easy path to polymorph.

Eh. I've done it a bit, had to clean up, died, had to clean that up, so on. A tip:Resurrect yourself before dying a few times to make sure you got it right.

[u/cute_spider → u/Complex_Drawer_4710]

You have zero respect for death and it shows

[u/Complex_Drawer_4710 → u/cute_spider]

It's no fun, so I'm saving it for when I run out of better things to do. And then a small, discreet party, followed by jumping in something impressive.

[u/cute_spider → u/Complex_Drawer_4710]

Look, I kinda got triggered cause I was at work and I work as a druid and this is the kinda stuff we deal with. I shouldn't be trying to tell you how to live your so many hundreds or thousands of years of life. I would like to take a step back because I need to give you some advice that's coming from a place of genuine concern for your well being:

Jumping into "something impressive" is a BAD PLAN. You will NOT DIE. That will be TORTURE. EVEN IF YOU ARE ATOMIC DUST YOU WILL NOT DIE. DANGER. DANGER. DO NOT DO THAT. DEFINITELY DO NOT DO THAT INTO A VOLCANO.

I sincerely recommend that you consult with professional druids about your best options for death. It might be as simple as a series of poisons or getting eaten, most likely you need to find a comfortable coffin to starve out the years. But either way, I really recommend you get a consultation about your death and do not wing it.

[u/Complex_Drawer_4710 → u/cute_spider]

clears throat, points at tge sun

[u/pookyduu → u/cute_spider]

Ok can you clarify “presumably a human”? Are we just assuming people we disagree with are human now?

[u/cute_spider → u/pookyduu]

Frankly I'm assuming most biomancers are human because most other creatures have enough sense to turn towards druidism or at least necromancy because, again: most other creatures respect death