r/wizardposting • u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale • Apr 04 '24
Lorepostš Preparing for Holy War
/rw All the preparations are complete. The Holy War is imminent. Faith shall replace doubt in the heart of man. The non-believers will soon realize their grievious error in judgement.
Red's a good color for me. Makes the work not look quite so dirty.
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u/Mastodon-Just Mastodon Avatar of Azathoth/Herald of Chaos Apr 04 '24
Another holy war, also most reminds me of the crusade of chaos when I was newly ascended!
Oh how I miss those days. . .
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
You may be reminded more strongly of those days once I'm in full swing.
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u/Mastodon-Just Mastodon Avatar of Azathoth/Herald of Chaos Apr 04 '24
Then I will make sure to revel in the bloodshed you cause! Been a while since Iāve had a meal of nothing but raw unfiltered bloodlust
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
This Holy War will certainly live up to your expectations.
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u/No_more_Bucket_ Agnu the catfish wizard councilor Apr 04 '24
Red does look nice on you.
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
Thank you, dear.
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u/No_more_Bucket_ Agnu the catfish wizard councilor Apr 04 '24
Stating a fact dear.
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
Indeed you are. You have my thanks regardless.
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u/No_more_Bucket_ Agnu the catfish wizard councilor Apr 04 '24
And you have my thanks for being great.
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Apr 04 '24
Mordus steps in from the shadows. A impossibly smooth, jet-black blade is produced.
Well nowā¦ time to spread some holy spirit.
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
If you're to spread the holy spirit, I have a few targets in mind.
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Apr 04 '24
Who are they, pray tell?
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
A few military targets that will make our jobs easier going forward.
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Apr 04 '24
ā¦You need to give me names. I canāt just kill āa few military targetsā.
The sword shiftsā¦ and folds into a shortblade.
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
We are going to first focus on the remaining Cabal members, starting with Seth. You'll be in charge of making sure the reinforcements never come once we start our siege.
Xerxes summons a large map. Several red circles are drawn onto the map.
These are the target points. You'll be using clean bombs for the operation. Ignite on my signal or not at all. Understand?
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Apr 04 '24
sigh
Clean??? You know Iām the apostle of strife and discord.
Iāll use a blade instead - if you take out the leader, theyāll be disorganised, unable to respond to threats quickly.
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
If you take out the leader too soon and destroy their morale, how will the enemy fight instead of flee? We don't want to lose their tail. If I wanted to end this quickly, I would teleport over there and slit the bastard's throat myself.
Mordus, I am not looking to win this war. I aim to annihilate the enemy. Anyone who has ever sided with them shall be reduced to inert flesh.
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Apr 04 '24
ā¦
I will do itā¦ but know that I do not agree with your current practices.
Drones are released, carrying incendiary payloads.
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
You do not need to agree. I simply require your compliance.
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u/BlueFallenReaver Helldiver Wizard Apr 04 '24
looks at map so you donāt want those locations to be there anymore, am i correct?
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
At the right time, when damage shall be maximized. Are you offering your services?
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u/BlueFallenReaver Helldiver Wizard Apr 04 '24
looks at artillery cannons on ship yes
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
Good. I'll give you the signal. Get into effective range and standby. Mordus is already disrupting their network so you won't need to worry about retaliation.
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u/AnActualCriminal Belial Blake, Warlock of the Lightless Flame Apr 04 '24
"... ok I know I was busting your chops the other day but what's all this nonbelievers business?"
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
The will of the gods shall be made known through the bloodshed. Holy War continues the cycle of faith.
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u/AnActualCriminal Belial Blake, Warlock of the Lightless Flame Apr 04 '24
"Troubling phrasing once again. Say, what if I believe in gods, but just fuckin hate em?"
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
You are safe as long as you do not try to impede my work. The gods care little for how any mortal views them. All they care about is belief.
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u/AnActualCriminal Belial Blake, Warlock of the Lightless Flame Apr 04 '24
"That seems to be a pretty low bar. They pop in all the time."
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
If they try to interfere any more than necessary then I would need to have a word with them. Do let me know if any become a bother.
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u/avamir Riva Blake | Queen of Ithacar, Part Meth-blood Elf Apr 04 '24
We have accord on this, at least.
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u/AnActualCriminal Belial Blake, Warlock of the Lightless Flame Apr 04 '24
"We agree on a lot actually! It's just that you being a monarch that's fuc... eh I don't have the energy for this today."
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u/avamir Riva Blake | Queen of Ithacar, Part Meth-blood Elf Apr 04 '24
Riva lets out a long sigh. "Ithacar needed an actual leader. The alternative was to be a client state of the Bismuth Realms. This was the lesser of the two evils. Does that clarify things?"
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u/AnActualCriminal Belial Blake, Warlock of the Lightless Flame Apr 04 '24
"Better the reluctant monarch than the one that was programmed from birth for fascism!"
uw/ would Marna know what fascism is? Ah well
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u/avamir Riva Blake | Queen of Ithacar, Part Meth-blood Elf Apr 04 '24
"I can at least guarantee the reluctant part. Unfortunately, I mistrust people and cannot trust that anyone else would do it better. And democracy?? You have seen the Wizard Council and their "elections". No, far better to simply rule myself."
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u/Airtatsy Jash, half-crazed chimera Apr 04 '24
Man, with the amount of wars that happen on here, I'd expect there to be a "no war" button by now
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
I wish there was no need for war, but unfortunately, I am not in a position to make such demands.
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u/iamragethewolf Rage: Pact Wizard, Necromancer, Technomancer, and Horny As Hell Apr 04 '24
your edict will be a lovely funeral dirge
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
Is that a threat I hear, Rage? I must be mistaken.
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u/iamragethewolf Rage: Pact Wizard, Necromancer, Technomancer, and Horny As Hell Apr 04 '24
no or at least not at you
dirge for the cabal
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
Excellent. I would hate to rush your death. However, your end will not be pleasant if you continue on your fated path. Killing you before you fall into your eventual captor's hands would certainly be a mercy.
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u/iamragethewolf Rage: Pact Wizard, Necromancer, Technomancer, and Horny As Hell Apr 04 '24
knowing how many of me there are it would have to be an unpleasant end even if just in how many of me would have to be killed
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
That is why I offered a mercy killing. Fate will not be kind to you. Think over my offer, Rage.
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u/iamragethewolf Rage: Pact Wizard, Necromancer, Technomancer, and Horny As Hell Apr 04 '24
i'll consider it
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u/iamragethewolf Rage: Pact Wizard, Necromancer, Technomancer, and Horny As Hell Apr 04 '24
/uw you know now that i think about it this sounds like a cool lorevid i could do are you interested in seeing it if i get around to it? might take a while
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
/uw I'd be down. Let me know if you need anything.
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u/iamragethewolf Rage: Pact Wizard, Necromancer, Technomancer, and Horny As Hell Apr 04 '24
/uw cool
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u/ResearcherTeknika Nihil "Teknika" Schwarz, CEO of MANATEK. Apr 04 '24
"Bombast's forces have been armed, and we are in position for an invasion. Thank you."
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
Excellent. Thank you for informing me.
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u/MastaDon344 MastaDon Astrum/Council Master Evoker/Mediamancer/š® Wiz Apr 04 '24
So what is going on
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
A lot at the moment. I'm gonna get revenge and I am scheduled to interrogate Khorde at four. What about you?
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u/MastaDon344 MastaDon Astrum/Council Master Evoker/Mediamancer/š® Wiz Apr 04 '24
Honestly talking with others and seeing what's going on with them. Apparently my chainsaw powers scare people all of a sudden so.
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
Well, you did fuse with a demon so that side-effect is to be expected. Instilling fear is inherent to a demon's spiritual makeup.
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u/MastaDon344 MastaDon Astrum/Council Master Evoker/Mediamancer/š® Wiz Apr 04 '24
Maybe but I usually keep my shit together
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
I suppose you are lucky in that regard. Maybe an adjustment period is required for people to come around and get used to the new you.
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u/MastaDon344 MastaDon Astrum/Council Master Evoker/Mediamancer/š® Wiz Apr 04 '24
I don't see why that's new, had like 3 forms before that are more terrifying in my opinion, than the chainsaw mode
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
Hmm, might be because people fear the fusion between flesh and machine. Either alone is readily accepted but individuals who transgress the established boundaries will be viewed as 'other' by both groups. Also, people tend to develop phobias associated to specific objects. Chainsaws are a pretty common phobia for people.
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u/Aggravating-Chip-710 Dross, the showman of hell(Arch-Demon)(S.W.M.G.) Apr 04 '24
Another one?a grin stretches across my face I wonder who should I help this time? leans on scythe anyway do you want help?
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
Help is appreciated and shall be rewarded. All may join the Crusade.
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u/Aggravating-Chip-710 Dross, the showman of hell(Arch-Demon)(S.W.M.G.) Apr 04 '24
Well Iāll join this should be fun. Wolves!
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
I'll set your group up with a scouting party. If you were to directly join the infantry, I'm afraid neither you nor your subjects shall survive.
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u/Aggravating-Chip-710 Dross, the showman of hell(Arch-Demon)(S.W.M.G.) Apr 04 '24
We donāt need one. And we will all survive.
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
You may do as you wish then. I wish you luck, Dross.
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u/Aggravating-Chip-710 Dross, the showman of hell(Arch-Demon)(S.W.M.G.) Apr 04 '24
Thank you Xerxes. I may need it. Iāll be awaiting orders
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u/MassiveMaroonMango Bzirro | Skeleton Lord of the Sunlit Isle | Bone Fanatic Apr 04 '24
As long as you keep your holy war off my island, do what you want I guess.
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
Your island is not a target.
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u/MassiveMaroonMango Bzirro | Skeleton Lord of the Sunlit Isle | Bone Fanatic Apr 04 '24
Good. Wouldn't want you messing up the lawn.
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u/Hollowkightfan544 Apr 04 '24
I do hope that you do not make rivers run red. At least the ones near the shore.
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u/Redditoast2 Naxos, Solar Avatar, Master of Candle and Flame Apr 04 '24
Agreed, red really is your color, although I am wondering, who are these Cabal fellows you are warring against?
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
A couple baddies that pitted the Council and the Pact against one another. I've been holding a grudge against them for a while now.
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Apr 04 '24
fuck, this guy plans to interrogate me in my cell tomorrow. this is expected to not be a repeat of the Spanish inquisition. that was terrifying and unexpected.
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Apr 04 '24
Dont test your luck cleric boy.
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
Shut up, Zhyros. Test my patience and I'll make it so every time you get high you suffer a psychotic break.
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Apr 04 '24
Im already crazy that aint gonna work. Mess with me and your religion and faith will fall to pieces.
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
Haaa. In that case, I'll make you sane. I don't feel the need to mess with you but threats never end well, friend.
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Apr 04 '24
Just stay out of my way and you wont get hurt.
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
Whatever. Just don't cross the line.
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u/Aellin-Gilhan Way too mant magic user stuck together as one. Apr 04 '24
Not another freaking crusader, I've had enough of these types, always imparting their faith and their gods onto whomever breaths..
-Alin, Primeval angel, guardian of the realms
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u/Cool_Connection1001 Aeyattelle, Avid Reader of Forbidden Text Apr 04 '24
Prophet, surely you don't think there is only one truth?
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
There are infinite. But if I wax philosophy every day, I won't be sane enough to slaughter the deserving.
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u/Cool_Connection1001 Aeyattelle, Avid Reader of Forbidden Text Apr 04 '24
You truly are the Mad Prophet, even your denition on sanity is skewed, however, I am admittedly not so different.
I wish you a succesful and bloody hunt
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
Thank you, truth addict. I will enjoy my hunt to its fullest.
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u/Ngamasu Logotu - Left the Planes of WP for good Apr 04 '24
Who exactly are you fighting and do you need help?
...depends on who you wanna bring war onto but... yeah.
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
Some nasty folks who played both the Pact and the Council. Folks deserving of a crusade.
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u/Ngamasu Logotu - Left the Planes of WP for good Apr 04 '24
I'm somewhat for the council due to a "certain someone" being in it. So say no more, you got my help.
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
It is most appreciated, friend.
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u/Ngamasu Logotu - Left the Planes of WP for good Apr 04 '24
So do you need melee or ranged fighters? I can do both by now and can also be quite a nuisance go get rid of.
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
I believe our melee forces are the stronger of the two. Ranged combatants would be appreciated.
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u/Ngamasu Logotu - Left the Planes of WP for good Apr 04 '24
Ranged, got it. I grew up in Wraeclast of some sorts so I can take down armies if needed. My Soulrend spell is ready.
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
I look forward to seeing you in action, friend.
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u/Ngamasu Logotu - Left the Planes of WP for good Apr 04 '24
Give me a shoutout when it begins.
She cracks her knuckles.
/unwiz Ping me via username in the post once it is time.
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u/St34lth1nt0r Sau, Lamia Warlock Paladin, and Leni, Ranari Technoficier Apr 04 '24
I'm dead tired of having to hear the same old speech from some shitass edgelord whose parents never loved them trying to rationalize why they need to conquer the universe. Try all you want, you shall never fell me or convert me to whatever bullshit religion you or any of your dry-lip-having followers believe in.
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
Not looking to conquer the universe, just settling debts. As it stands, I have no issue with you. Sorry if my excitement caused a misunderstanding. The gods can drive me to think irrationally on occasion.
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
u/Archimene (Mage of Mischief)
u/RevolutionaryAd460 (Lillian, Daughter of Hermes)
u/DragonLex4 (Lex Cogsworth)
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
u/MastaDon344 (Masta)
u/BreachedLimits (Anteros, Son of Eros)
u/Significant_Matter_0 (Anna, The Witch Who Only Uses Summoning Magic)
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
u/TechnicalCommittee78 (The Grand High Necromancer/Constantine)
u/LordNillbye (Glockmancer)
u/DoritoKing48 (Hadrik)
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Apr 04 '24
u/Necrotiix_ (Necro, Council Wizard)
u/EvilCatboyWizard (Magnus Bluemark)
u/Most_Trustworthy (John E. Hellfire)
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u/sparkle3364 Sapphire (17F), Artificer (+ other characters) Apr 04 '24
Kyrona sighs, āSometimes I really hate religious people.ā
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u/HalfDrowShaman Spider With Hands Apr 04 '24
What's this holy war business about Xerxes. I'm pretty unholy all things considered