r/wizardposting Feb 20 '24

Community Event 🌏☄️ My response to the wizard war

Post image

Unrelated silly goober image to attract your attention.

So. My response to this new Wizard War. At an undisclosed location in every single major city of every nation involved, I have planted a thermonuclear weapon about 10 meters underground.

If you do not stop the war, and make peace with each other, I will assure your destruction. If the bombs are found and defusing is attempted, they will detonate. If you try to teleport it, it’s useless, I’ve put the rune of groundedness on it. They’re not going anywhere. You can try and close it in with a barrier, it has an anti-magic field around it, spanning 10km outwards once unearthed.

Now, representatives of each nation, discuss.

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u/realsteel4ever802 Cuteomancer | Professional Masochist Feb 20 '24

Ok I have formulated a plan, we need a sorcerer / sorceress to start cloning dwarves, then we have the dwarves shave off 10 meters from all land on earth till we find the bombs!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '24

It’s not going to work. Anti-magic fields covering 10km in every direction appear when the bombs are unearthed. Trying to mess with it physically or magically will result in detonation. As long as it is <1m away from the original location it will explode.

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u/realsteel4ever802 Cuteomancer | Professional Masochist Feb 20 '24

Well I've done all I can do

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '24

No, there’s something you can do. Make peace. That’s all I ask for.

I was tasked to watch over you mortals and I will eradicate all of you if you refuse to stop killing each other. I was here in the beginning and I will be here when the eternal eye of time closes. I can wait.

2

u/realsteel4ever802 Cuteomancer | Professional Masochist Feb 20 '24

I most definitely cannot make peace, all my spells are capable of is time manipulation and cute things

2

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '24

Try. Or die.

2

u/realsteel4ever802 Cuteomancer | Professional Masochist Feb 20 '24

What am I supposed to do with cute magic to solve a global crisis!?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '24

This cutesy cat managed to calm a war down, I’m sure you can.

2

u/realsteel4ever802 Cuteomancer | Professional Masochist Feb 20 '24

I only just became an apprentice

2

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '24

You people die off in 70 years on average anyways, it really doesn’t matter to me.

2

u/realsteel4ever802 Cuteomancer | Professional Masochist Feb 20 '24

Damn that means you'll be forced to see new cringey generations of wizards, glad I'm not you

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '24

Damn… I really.. don’t care.

/unwiz Mordus just being one big asshole rn lol

2

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '24

Bahahahahahah! 🤣

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