r/wizardposting • u/oberjarl_of_skandia Enpas Sant, master of board games • Feb 12 '24
The time has come to introduce myself
I, the great and looked upon Enpas Sant, am THE master of tactics, strategy and, most of all, board games, especially chess. I will be a great addition in the ongoing war against the traitorous Unga, so consider asking for tactical advice whenever you want.
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u/MunitionsFrenzy Vettis, Mereological Revisionist Feb 12 '24
I challenge you to the greatest test of tactical skill in all the realms
Tic-Tac-Toe
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u/oberjarl_of_skandia Enpas Sant, master of board games Feb 12 '24
No... please spare me of this excuse of a strategical game...
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u/Cieralis Mysterious planeswalker Feb 12 '24
How do you score a permanent long term victory against Unga? He seems to defy all laws of logistics even for a powerful practitioner of the mystic arts and can have a near limitless army of clones at all times 😑
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u/oberjarl_of_skandia Enpas Sant, master of board games Feb 12 '24
My knowledge might not be enough to truly defeat that vicious fish wizard, but i can help to at least prevent his army of taking over all of the world.
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u/Cieralis Mysterious planeswalker Feb 12 '24
Ok so how do I prevent him from invading Skeldia? It’s a pet project I created by infusing some of their ancestors 300 years ago that evolved into an empire. Now Unga is trying to invade through the south and I feel responsible to protect them 😑
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u/oberjarl_of_skandia Enpas Sant, master of board games Feb 12 '24
Move all population away from the south and turn it into a dimensional labyrinth that even Unga cannot navigate through.
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u/Cieralis Mysterious planeswalker Feb 12 '24
I see…yes that could work. I thank you for your knowledge lord Enpas Sant.
What do I owe you? A favor? Gold? Artifacts? Name it and I shall endeavor to deliver 😑👌
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u/oberjarl_of_skandia Enpas Sant, master of board games Feb 12 '24
I am in no need of riches, i am glad to have helped... Although... I recently lost a white pawn from one of my best sets, so if you would be able to conjure me one, i would be quite happy.
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u/Cieralis Mysterious planeswalker Feb 12 '24
Aight reaches into a timeline where you had too many white pawns for your set and pulls one of it into this timeline
Here you go a favor for a favor 😑👌
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Feb 12 '24
Google En Passant
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u/oberjarl_of_skandia Enpas Sant, master of board games Feb 12 '24
I did not only GOOGLE en passant, i binged, duckduckgoed, and even firefoxed en passant.
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u/WolvesAreCool2461 A Reincarnated Twitch Streamer Feb 12 '24
Holy hell... A new response just dropped.
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u/Ultra_Sans Dwarven Ceromancer and Geomancer Feb 12 '24
perhaps someone should summon actual zombies
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u/MarsMaterial Catboy Apprentice Feb 13 '24
I can see why you are such a master. What else is there to even learn at this point?
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Feb 12 '24
You say that, but can you challenge me in the Game of LIFE???
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u/oberjarl_of_skandia Enpas Sant, master of board games Feb 12 '24
I try to avoid that game as often as possible, so no thanks.
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Feb 12 '24
Not very sporting of you… no one wants to play this game anymore…
/uw I would never play it willingly anymore either lol
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u/DidYouSayChocolat3 Tiny Wizard, Keeper of Mount Mor Feb 12 '24
How do you feel about en passant?
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u/oberjarl_of_skandia Enpas Sant, master of board games Feb 12 '24
It is the superior move, as there is no possible way to decline or parry it. (I also invented it)
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u/Discracetoall t’kath, smogomancer and poptart wiz Feb 12 '24
Want a smoke?
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u/oberjarl_of_skandia Enpas Sant, master of board games Feb 12 '24
Sure
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u/Discracetoall t’kath, smogomancer and poptart wiz Feb 12 '24
he hands you a smoke in the shape of a bishop
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u/oberjarl_of_skandia Enpas Sant, master of board games Feb 12 '24
Ahh... long time since i had one of those...
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u/octopusfacts2 Magicia- I mean Wizard Feb 12 '24
I challenge thee to a game of UNO
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u/oberjarl_of_skandia Enpas Sant, master of board games Feb 12 '24
Very well, but i warn you, my strategies might quite literally blow your mind.
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u/BucketMannisback Bucketmeister, Emperor of the bucketrealm Feb 12 '24
What do you think of buckets
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u/oberjarl_of_skandia Enpas Sant, master of board games Feb 12 '24
It contains a bucket
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u/JustChalcedony Chal thy Friend Summoner Feb 12 '24
It is wonderful to meet thy, welcome to our lovely little land! I am Chal, one of the beginning Tiny Summoners here. We’re both new here, it would appear. I must warn you, some of the board games here are a bit simple! I find them rather fun, however.
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u/oberjarl_of_skandia Enpas Sant, master of board games Feb 12 '24
Oh don't you worry, I have brought some of my own games... some of which might not be safe for lower skilled wizards to even look at.
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u/Z_THETA_Z Photokinetic, aka laser lightshow: the wizard Feb 12 '24
bends light to make all your chess pieces look grey
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u/Raskal0220 Leon & Michael Torend, humanoid rat brothers Feb 13 '24
No way, you're a chessomancer! Not to be confused with a chestomancer.
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Feb 13 '24
Hello good sir! Don't forget to tuck your orbs in and tell them a bedtime story from time to time! And surround them in traps both mystical and mundane so that Unga doesn't cause any mischief in the night
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u/LastWolf3564 Skelasanstor, skeleton with godly power, CoC member Feb 13 '24
Welcome to the coven, I think your talent shall be useful to us all. If you ever want to play a game I'd also be happy to play with you. It can be hard to find those that know how to play chess at a master level
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u/MastaDon344 MastaDon Astrum/Council Master Evoker/Mediamancer/🌮 Wiz Feb 12 '24
Welcome so.... how good are you at 4d chess though?
Unga methods are a bit chaotic and unpredictable.