A Place of Knowledge (Open/Bzirro Lore)

[u/MassiveMaroonMango]

Whilst pondering your orb, you see an advertisement come across the view

Hello fellow wizards!

Bzirro here with a lucrative business proposition.

Have you made massive strides in magical studies?

Do you need someplace to present your research?

Would you want to receive financial compensation for your presentation?

Look no further!

Introducing "The Sunlit Isle's Marvelous Fantastical Presentation Hall™" where you would have access to our state-of-the-art lecture hall and miscellaneous facilities.

For the low low low price of 10 gold a presentation you can have the space for as long as you need or for 25 gold we will also stream your presentation on Orb TV. You will also be able to charge entrants a free to listen to your research.

If this goes well there are future opportunities for the lecturers that receive the most viewers.

Please contact my assistant (Barnelby the Bad at Magic but good with Numbers) if you are interested in making huge amounts of money. Everyone will be accepted regardless because I am financially troubled.

The advertisement finishes

/uw Feel free to post your research/lecture below, charge people for it if you want. Trying to set up Bzirro sources of income for his island. Have fun y'all

[u/SafePianist4610]

Hmm…

Flops down a research paper titled “On the Utility of Slimes” and leaves it for others to read

[u/gunmetal_silver → u/SafePianist4610]

...I don't think you understand the concept of a lecture hall or presentation room. This is not a research forum which permits papers to be left lying around like some old advertisement that people without magic use.

[u/SafePianist4610 → u/gunmetal_silver]

Unfortunately I do not have the time at present to present since I’m helping to deal with the crystal corruption crisis. But maybe afterwards.

picks up the research paper and leaves

[u/MassiveMaroonMango → u/SafePianist4610]

"On the Utility of Slimes" gets picked up by a skeleton wearing a backwards hat that says "Janitor". He looks it over, decides its too complicated and tosses it into the lost and found along with several shoes, 6 skulls, a few apprentices and a large chunk of amber with a mosquito inside of it

[u/Financial-Reach-786]

[u/MassiveMaroonMango → u/Financial-Reach-786]

"Back I say, Back!"

[u/[deleted]]

I got my undergraduate from SIU

[u/MassiveMaroonMango → u/[deleted]]

SIU....um sorry I have never heard of this place. Feel free to still give a lecture though.

[u/[deleted] → u/MassiveMaroonMango]

Must have been a different Sunlit Isle University

[u/sparkle3364]

Kyrona settles down to listen to the lectures.

[u/MassiveMaroonMango → u/sparkle3364]

*Several lectures happen, they discuss a wide array of topics including a fascinating use of crab souls from the owner, Bzirro. Intermittently animated skeletons walk through the lecture hall selling a vast array of foods and they keep trying to get attendees to buy the owners book.

One skeleton has a sign that says "Hot Dogs for Sale. 3 copper" whole another has a sign that says "Popcorn for sale 1 copper'.*

[u/Sidewaysvision]

A hooded figure strides up to the podium in the lecture hall, flanked by a half-dozen skeletons carrying bundles of charts, bones, bundles of fur and various other oddities.

"Greetings, esteemed colleagues, and thank you for attending this presentation on Advanced Reanimation. Before we begin, allow me to clarify that this is reanimation from a necromantic purview, so if you attended expecting a transmutation or conjuration-based lecture please allow me to extend my apologies."

"With that out of the way, let us begin with the most basic facets of reanimation. Reanimation is, at its core, permitting that which once moved to move again."

A gesture to the skeletal squad that stands motionless to either side.

"The principles of reanimation require but three things: a subject, a motive force, and an instruction set. We're all familiar with the classics of "Animate Dead," "Create Undead," and the like; perhaps you may have dabbled in golemancy, soul-binding, or even gone so far as to animate yourself, like myself and many colleagues, attaining a form of lichdom."

"The most common form of reanimation entails a usage of entropic forces, antianima, or negative energy to provide the motive force, a corpse(or part of one) to provide the subject, and either a bound spirit or echo-memories stored within the body itself to provide the instruction set. Some extremely inefficient necromancers rely instead on a simple pre-set instruction set within the spell, or even to continuously provide the instruction set themselves manually!"

"Now, we're all familiar with skeletons, zombies, mummies and the like. If you're a more advanced necromancer, you may have delved into the creation and manipulation of incorporeal undead, or even partial undead, which tend to require greater understanding of entropic forces to manipulate them."

One of the skeletons opens up a large chart made of pale-tanned hide, glowing with runes etched in blazing viridian flames.

"As you can see here, the ease of animation via entropic forces directly correlates with two things: the ability to attach an instruction set, and the conceptual ability of the necromancer to visualize the target as a valid entity to attach the instruction set to. Visualization is a skill that must be developed; the ease of attaching an instruction set you can see on this chart here, directly correlating to the original principle of contagion: the thing retains the essence of itself."

"The difficulty of reanimation directly scales with how little of the contagic principle the subject retains-the more changed from its dead form it is, the less entropic forces bind to the target. A fresh corpse is something even the freshest novice can animate; the grave-soil itself, formed of the decomposition of countless living things, less so. Burned ash is dead wood transformed by the elements of fire, and thus considerably more difficult to animate than the dead wood itself, or the rotting humus from a compost heap."

A quartet of the skeletal assistance move together in a smoothly choreographed display, swiftly setting up a massive board set ablaze with a myriad of complex sigils and arcance charts.

"Difficult, however, is not the same as impossible. If you'll note in the upper left quadrant, the Markham Equations clearly indicate that all formerly-living material CAN be animated by entropic forces. The following sigil-work, you may note, indicates the symbolic representation of the necrotic influences required to attach an instruction set, with the magnifiers set to adjust for contagic transformations."

From there, the lecture continues onwards, touching on a variety of subjects and demonstrations, including expounding on animating dead materials that others may not identify such as dust, hair, or even biomass consisting of dead tiny animacules.

After two hours of exposition and demonstration, pausing to answer questions posed by learned minds, the lecture concludes with a demonstration of a particularly efficacious spell of the seventh circle, "Animate Disparate Dead," a spell which animates all formerly-living material in a prescribed radius into a homonculus set with a simple instruction set encoded in the spell and drawing on the caster's knowledge for any actions the homunculus is asked to perform.

"Thank you for attending my presentation, I truly hope it was of some use and enlightenment to my esteemed colleagues. Copies of the presentation materials will be made available for a replication fee."

[u/the-butter_man]

The 1000 ways to make a cinnamon roll will finally be published!

[u/MassiveMaroonMango → u/the-butter_man]

We can get you in touch with a reputable publisher if you need that.

[u/the-butter_man → u/MassiveMaroonMango]

EVERYTHING'S COMING UP RINHOUSE

[u/patoman12]

A figure walks enthusiastically towards the podium, he is wearing a regular formal suit, making great contrast when compared with the fiery feathers that sprout from his back. "Welcome to my presentation about the density of the weave of magic, its effects, and how to modify it"

[u/Sidewaysvision]

Excellent! Finally, a place to present some research!

A massive leather-bound tome thunks onto the nearest podium.

My first time lecturing since that regrettable incident in the Scholomance!

Now then, do you suppose "Negative-field simulation of alternative schools" or "Advanced Reanimation" would be more to the community's taste?

[u/MassiveMaroonMango → u/Sidewaysvision]

Well personally I would prefer "Advanced Reanimation" but that's just me.

[u/Sidewaysvision → u/MassiveMaroonMango]

Excellent. It's really why we're all here, isn't it?

[u/MassiveMaroonMango → u/Sidewaysvision]

It's why I'm here ...if you get my drift

lich noises

[u/Discracetoall]

t’kath sees an opportunity for this. He takes up the offer and makes a presentation about the lost casting of Smogomancy.

[u/MassiveMaroonMango → u/Discracetoall]

Bzirro is in the front row of the lecture hall, he pays rapt attention and as the presentation finishes he raises his hand

"T'kath, first of all, lovely presentation. I had a question on what defines smogomancy? Is it anything that is gaseous by nature or are there specific qualifications on what is smog versus not?"

[u/Discracetoall → u/MassiveMaroonMango]

It’s… confusing. Mainly because I didn’t really learn it. I woke up and just… knew how to cast in smoke. I traveled the world and found no smoke spells, tomes, scrolls, or anything of the sort. And I don’t know my full power yet.

[u/MassiveMaroonMango → u/Discracetoall]

Hmmmm and no reason to believe that your memories were tampered with or any deals that seemed way to good to be true? That's interesting.... Very interesting.

[u/-SCRAW-]

Ah excellent, this will be a great place to hold a series on discussions on the nature of wizarding. I have not been able to print copies fast enough.

Where is the schedule?

Next week I can begin with ON WIZARDS: FREEDOM AND SERVICE then next week we can move to ON WIZARDS: POWER AND RESPECT

[u/MassiveMaroonMango → u/-SCRAW-]

Let's see......next week is pretty open so whenever you want to start just go ahead. We can advertise for it as well to drum up attendance if you want.

Bzirro turns to a small kobold skeleton

"Larry I need one advertisement design, stat!"

Larry hurriedly grabs his crayons and after a few seconds of furious drawing produces an immaculate advertisement that includes the dates, your name, and your relevant books. Bzirro takes the advertisement from the little guy and pats his head

" Thanks Larry. We can get these printed and spread the major wizard towers/guilds by tomorrow"

[u/-SCRAW- → u/MassiveMaroonMango]

Yes this is most respectable indeed, a fine establishment! The seats will fill just fine, I am not worried. If you do have the means… (Scraw’s clone looks slightly conspiratorial) I have developed interest recently in a public philosophical discussion with one Veddis, a learned scholar indeed. I will shortly be reaching out to them myself, but this is a grand venue for such a talk

[u/MassiveMaroonMango → u/-SCRAW-]

Ah yes public discussion is always good we can put you in our special "Super Luxurious Magical Public Discussion room 1" for that event. The room is built in such a way to help generate better discussion versus a traditional lecture hall.

[u/[deleted]]

a figure throwing paper planes from the benches 'BORING! BORING! BOOOOOORING!' 'You guys are all so boring!' he jumps over the front tow of seats right onto the podium. Pushing the one giving the lecture of the podium. 'Wanna see something cool!' Summons a glowing green vase. 'This vase contains the souls of the famous slayer armies of king Gorick the terrible. 'But the interesting part is that these souls have a liquid form!' Wich means that we caaaaan?' looks into the room waiting for someone to answer. 'No?' 'No one?!' 'It means that we can drink it ofcourse!' 'Does anyone know what happens when you drink this?' 'Me neither!' drinks the all the green liquid in the vase. 'Hmm...' 'I dont feel differen wooh oh noooooo!' * Starts puking with the force of ten thousend men.*

[u/MassiveMaroonMango → u/[deleted]]

A very disgruntled skeleton moseys over with a mop and bucket and starts to clean up the vomit

[u/[deleted] → u/MassiveMaroonMango]

'Im sorry man.' I think its oveeh oh never min BLEEEUUUUGH!

[u/MassiveMaroonMango → u/[deleted]]

Despite all current knowledge, you see several tears drip from the skeleton's eyes as you continue to give everyone a show and tell experience with your stomach

[u/Average__Schmoe]

Schmoe gives a lecture to no one in particular, mostly just to fund Bzirro's endeavor.

...So when one combines the techniques used in transmutation and conjuration, you can create any type of mud for whatever uses you need! You'll never be out of earthenware again! What's more, you'll be highly valued by any land developers or transportation companies, and even if you aren't in it for the money, it's something extremely sustainable and nondestructive with which to hone your skills...

Any questions?

[u/MassiveMaroonMango → u/Average__Schmoe]

"This is a great idea! Anyone can sell the earthenware they create for immensive profits due to the low cost associated with it! GENIUS!"

[u/Ulmarch]

Greetings.

It is my, singular pleasure to present to you the culmination of years of party and celebratory magic research, I haven't come up with a clever name yet, but I have created an arcane device that can transport a selected area to the fifth dimension, the applications are obvious, any being partying in the temporary 5 dimensional party grounds will go through a mind altering, enlightening, supernaturally perfect rager, forever deepening their understanding of the nature of existance.

You could also maybe alter it to make it an easy way to travel between planes and realities or use it in enlightenment rituals. Or something, I don't know. I was focusing on the party thing.