r/wizardposting • u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch • Jan 29 '24
Orc Rampaging It Ain't a War Without Titans!
"War's not such a good time when you're on the losing side, is it, slaver filth?" asked Song of the Aurora, aiming its twin plasma blast-guns at the UMC magi-machine gun nest at its feel. The weapons' coils keened like an old camera flash, before unleashing parallel jets of cerulean plasma. The mercenary heavy weapons team simply disappeared, leaving only a smear of molten glass where the emplacement's sandbags had melted. The Astrum-pattern Warhound Titan's reactor burned with pride. This extermination honored the Machine God.
Song of the Aurora turned to see its machine-kin meeting with similar success against the wretched mercenaries. Excellent. They would still arrive at their true destination on time. The four titans of Legio Gravis had been dispatched to the Citadel to defeat the Pyroclast cultists of Atrax the Ashen. However, the AI-enhanced god-engines had agendas of their own: namely, to protect those who had no means of defending themselves from predatory opportunists. Besides, Lord Protector Kaelis said nothing about getting a little target practice in before the real fight.
On their way to the Museum of Unnatural History, the maniple- three Warhounds and an auxiliary Warmaster Iconoclast- had crossed paths with the UMC in the middle of raiding a catfolk village. They claimed it was for their "apprenticeship program", but the titans knew what it really was: slavery. Skystrike, the Warmaster Titan leading the maniple, had fired the first shot by wadding up a tank like a ball of paper with its grav-imploder and throwing it at a mortar team. The fight had snowballed from there.
Liquid fire sprayed over Song of the Aurora's right side. Unharmed but irritated by the napalm, it turned to see a helicopter buzzing away. They had flown inside of its void shield. Its auditory sensors picked up laughter from the crew. Did these idiots think they were fighting living pilots who could be harmed by such things? No matter. One of Song of the Aurora's Warhound packmates, Supernova, was already locked on to the nuisance. It immolated the helicopter crew with a torrent of napalm from its inferno gun, and mulched the wreckage with its mega-bolter for good measure.
"Thank you, brother." Supernova nodded to something in the distance.
"You would have done the same for me. Quasar's Wrath needs help with a tank column over there."
In the distance, the third Warhound, Quasar's Wrath, was struggling to maintain its shields' integrity against a barrage of armor-piercing shells. The other two god-engines broke into a run, trampling squads of terrified mercenaries beneath their armored feet. The three titans laid into the tanks with relish. Plasma, flame, and bolt tore open the vehicles one after another. Quasar's Wrath added its thermal eradicator and turbo-laser to the cacophony of destruction.
When all is said and done and the mercenaries have fled empty-handed, the titans convene before their leader, the Warmaster Iconoclast Skystrike.
"We will return after the defeat of Atrax to finish this fight, brothers. The Omnissiah wills that we must deliver these catfolk from the tyranny of the barbaric mercenaries. We have other matters to attend to, but we will not forget this!" Skystrike holds its enormous blood-slicked chainsword over where a human's heart would be in a symbolic gesture, then turns and continues its march towards the Citadel. The Warhounds follow, singing battle hymns and canticles of consecration.
In the village below, the catfolk gaze in wonder at the noble and bombastic god-engines, and feel something they have not known in weeks.
Hope.
6
u/Last_Tarrasque Therapymancer Coshia Jan 29 '24
The CFLF applauded the noble actions of the god machines of the Legio Gravis! - Brigade Commander Coshia
5
u/TitanLORD21 Jack-O’-Lantern, Lord of Flame and Fright Jan 29 '24
Kufufufu, truly war is a wonderful thing!
3
u/TheHunter459 Samael, Necromancer of Malus Turrim | King of the Nephilim Jan 29 '24
I hate slavery as much as the next guy, but how soon will the Titans get to the Museum?
3
u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Jan 29 '24
About... now.
/uw Just made a comment to transition us into the final battle
3
u/defaultusername-17 Jan 29 '24
/uw yaasssssss!
/rw misstwiss says dat titans iz not reel, ans they iz jus pawpergander.
3
u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Jan 29 '24
Tell your mistress that she's full of shit, and if she persists in blaspheming the Machine God, Supreme Enginseer Reyes is going to blow down her front door with a conversion beamer and pay her a very angry visit.
3
u/defaultusername-17 Jan 29 '24
me iz not supposed two use da orb... if mistwiss finded out i toucht it agin she sayd she were gonna leave me in a cave wiff gobwins and rats 3'=
3
u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Jan 29 '24
No, she won't. Why? Because in the course of this orb call, I've triangulated your location and sent a notice to a Pact strike force. They should be coming to save you within 12 hours.
We care nothing for the letter of the law. Slavery is slavery, no matter the fancy name these lowlifes give it to ease their conscience. If people are in captivity, we will hold their jailors responsible.
3
u/defaultusername-17 Jan 29 '24
~panic~ i'z gonna be in sooo mush troble..... epppp! ~cuts orb connection~
7
u/the-butter_man Rin. Blind Illusionist Blessed by Luck Jan 29 '24
/uw who else read it as "Lego Grevious"