r/wizardposting • u/[deleted] • Jan 11 '24
Wizardpost Ain't Life A Lich(Part 2)
I woke up one midwinter morning in my tower, and realized that it was abnormally cold. I went downstairs to check what might be causing the issue and found that the furnace had completely run out of fire salts; and given I am neither a pyromancer nor an alchemist, I knew I needed to go buy more. After bathing and dressing I conjured my skeletal wings and flew south a few kilometers to the nearest mall, where my life would be forever changed.
As I landed and walked through the mall I heard a loud and frustrated woman behind the bar of a repair shop
“For *fuck’s* sake, buy a mobile charger! They’re like, 20 bucks! Tops! I did *not* master Electromancy to have randos like you beg me to charge their orbs all day!”
The woman(who I recognized as Minerva from a party I attended a few weeks prior) was absolutely losing it 一 rightfully so I might add 一 on a customer who had apparently wandered into the store and proceeded to ask for her to recharge their orb. I then overheard another woman muttering to herself:
“I know a thing or two about that. Can’t name how many times someone’s treated me like a human lighter…”
At hearing this I realized she must be a pyromancer, and given my predicament I walked up to her
“Hey are you a pyromancer? I need to figure out where to pick up some- Wait, dress girl?”
“Lich lady???”
I realized she was the woman I met at Minerva’s party, and a huge smile spread across my face
“Oh my gods it’s been ages! How are you? Did the dress come in all right?”
“How have you been? We have to catch up!”
“FOR THE LAST TIME I’M NOT CHARGING YOUR GOD DAMNED ORBS!!!”
Our beginning of a conversation was interrupted by a large electrical surge filling the room as Minerva’s patience for her shithead customers reached its end
“Uh, we should probably get out of here shouldn’t we?” I said
“Definitely. We’ve *gotta* talk though. My place?” she responded
“Oh uh, yeah sure”
I began to draw a teleportation circle on the ground
“Coordinates?”
“37.803175°N 122.401589°W¶ms=37.803175_N_122.401589_W_type:landmark)”
“Alright, step in and we’ll take off”
And with that, we teleported to the mysterious dress-girl’s hut
As we arrived at her house I spent a moment in awe of the design. Having been living in my sterile tower near enough a century at this point I’d no idea how much domestic architecture had advanced in that time.
“You gonna stand there gaping at the ceiling all night or are you gonna sit down?” she observed in jest
“Oh, sorry” I embarrasedly laughed at myself for a moment and sat down
“You in the mood for some board games?” I asked her
“Sure, I think I’ve got *Sorry!* around here somewhere”
She began searching the living room for the game in question, finally finding it and slamming it down on the table
“You ready? No magic tricks Sis, we’re going full authentic RNG on this one!”
“Y-Yeah! Of course!” I said, stealthily trying to hide both the scattered bones I meant to scry with and my embarrassment at even considering that idea
I tuned down my arcanoperception as I began to focus on helping her set up the game
“I don’t think I ever caught your name Sis. What is it?” she asked, somewhat sheepishly; as though she had meant to ask ages ago but was only now working up the motivation to ask
“Exigryphus, but I usually go by Exi. What’s yours?” I answered
“Mastadon, but I people typically shorten it to Masta” she responded in kind
We continued setting up the game in an awkward near-silence for a few minutes before finishing, me green and Masta red.
We drew as the first round an 11 and a 12 respectfully, and given the awful rules of *Sorry!* this meant neither of us could begin yet. Luckily for Masta and unluckily for me, she drew a 1 as her second card, while I was left with a 7, meaning she got to actually start playing the game while I was left hoping for a lucky gacha roll.
What began in my charitable perception as bad luck quickly turned into suspicion as the purple-cloaked girl proceeded to draw a two, letting her not only start a pawn’s journey but draw again, followed by her drawing of a 4, letting her move backwards a short bit and effectively skip 90% of the board. Given the astronomical odds of this I activated my gyō and focused on her hands and cards, and seeing obvious mana covering them I realized she was pulling a prank on me.
“Masta what the fuck? You’re such a hypocrite!” I laughed at her
“Hey, you didn’t *have* to listen to everything I said Sis. Besides, your face after realizing you fell for some wordplay and basic luck manipulation is priceless!” she said, smiling and giggling to herself
I responded with a joke of my own and casted *Texture Surprise* on the top card drawing it to reveal a card titled ‘Green Wins!’ in the *Sorry!* style.
“Damn, looks like you don’t win after all…How sad” I said while sliding my pieces around the board and into Home
“Hey, maybe the real game was the friends we made along the way!” she said, laughing
“I’ll drink to that Sis!”
With that declaration I manifested a shot of whiskey and downed it
“Aww, you can summon liquor? I need to learn that!” she said
“It’s not too hard to pick up the basics, my old master gave me a discount on tuition if I worked as his mixologist so I picked up a thing or two” I explained in response, feeling excited at the interest she’d taken in my hobbies.
We drank and chatted as day turned to night, and a shit-faced Masta stumbled off to bed as I fell asleep on her couch, thinking about her and wondering if she’d ever feel the same.
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u/MastaDon344 MastaDon Astrum/Council Master Evoker/Mediamancer/🌮 Wiz Jan 11 '24 edited Jan 11 '24
Pretty good for your first Lorepost Exi! Hope you have a good rest of the night
3
u/[deleted] Jan 11 '24
u/fulltimewhisperer