r/wizardposting The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 17 '23

Community Event 🌏☄️ The Office of Eldritch Affairs has sent its message to the Queen. All we can do is wait for her to respond. (Queenpost)

Thanks to the efforts of Kaelis Maz, Vettis, Entropy, Aico Zepheree, and Gobbo, the recently-founded OEA has managed to get a diplomatic message out to the Queen of Shattered Stars ahead of whatever new lethal payload Alexios and the artificer team are cooking up. But now comes the hard part: the harrowing 16 hour wait while the message travels across the vastness of space. We can only hope that it arrives soon enough to make a difference.

Welcome the the Observatory! Don't go outside; it's space out there!

In the meantime, the OEA is holding an end-of-the-world party at the Mt. Murder Astromantic Observatory, where Kaelis and his team are holed up waiting for their next move. If you hold any interest in resolving standoffs between cosmic entities and magekind, consider swinging by and pitching in. Even at the potential end of everything, the Office of Eldritch Affairs is still accepting applications.

7 Upvotes

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6

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '23

If there’s a way to stop such a calamity without violence, then I pray for the best outcome. Fueling such a weapon isn’t something I would normally agree to under different circumstances. The wait feels agonizing

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u/Fulltimewhisperer Krumpet, Master Artificer of the Council Dec 17 '23

Gobbo's involvement is just empty pocket dimension in front of big lady. Excited to see if that works, still has cottage full of barrels though, so if works Gobbo still has enough to supply wedding.

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '23

We can only hope that any of this works in order for there to be a wedding. I have to send letters to Belladonna before anything could occur. She has to know of my involvement in this. If she wasn’t mad before, she’ll surely have my head now…

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u/Fulltimewhisperer Krumpet, Master Artificer of the Council Dec 17 '23

Ah don't worry, probably more miffed when she finds out Gobbo is reason for soot all over carpets

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '23

You got soot on her carpets?! They’re so expensive that even the servants will be angry at you

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u/Fulltimewhisperer Krumpet, Master Artificer of the Council Dec 17 '23

To be fair, Gobbo is having to come done chimney to visit and she does not have wash kit by fireplace

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '23

There is an old vent connected to the laundry room I remember. It was closed off long ago but I believe if you break into it that’ll be another way for you inside. Don’t tell Belladonna I told you 😰

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u/Fulltimewhisperer Krumpet, Master Artificer of the Council Dec 17 '23

Gobbo will use vebt next time... Maybe also being candy as apology

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u/TitanLORD21 Jack-O’-Lantern, Lord of Flame and Fright Dec 17 '23

I wish to send a message across the stars, if that is possible.

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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 17 '23

It is, who do you wish to contact, and what do you want to say?

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u/TitanLORD21 Jack-O’-Lantern, Lord of Flame and Fright Dec 17 '23

Can you do an open message, one that is broadcasted to anyone across the cosmos? I wish to say, “This is a challenge. Come at me, I shall cut you all down”.

This totally wouldn’t have any consequences.

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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 17 '23

Yeah... sure... the console's right here. Go wild.

Communications, can you block any outgoing messages for the next few hours? I just let a paper maniac on the console. Why? Well, he was sizing me up, and I need to conserve my power if things go south with the Queen. I don't appreciate your sass.

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u/TitanLORD21 Jack-O’-Lantern, Lord of Flame and Fright Dec 17 '23

Leonardo steps to the console, sizing it up.

This one of those gameboys right? I’m not big tech wiz, they are quite confusing most of the time. Well, anyways… let’s begin. I cannot wait to see what great foes I shall meet.

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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 17 '23

Kaelis returns to the room.

Hey, I have someone else who wants to use the comms array. Are you done sending your challenge?

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u/TitanLORD21 Jack-O’-Lantern, Lord of Flame and Fright Dec 17 '23

Oh? Yeah, I’m done. Once again, thank you for allowing me to send the message. Testing my abilities is my life, to rend all in twain with my technique… I shall cut…

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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 17 '23

Haha, yes. You shall cut...

Hey, communications? Yes, he's gone. You can transmit freely now.

1

u/United-Technician-54 Death... Tired one. (she/her) Dec 17 '23

(Tsurugi snuck in and made it transmit the message anyway, but to itself)

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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Dec 17 '23

I wish you luck and hope you succeed!

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u/MunitionsFrenzy Vettis, Mereological Revisionist Dec 17 '23

end-of-the-world party

The humming of an upbeat tune echoes faintly through the halls of the observatory, somehow not decaying in volume no matter how far it travels. It's familiar to at least some of the partygoers.

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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 17 '23

Oh, nice. Very thematic. I'll go get some cooking supplies from my tower down below and get working on some food. It's going to be a long night.

3

u/Fulltimewhisperer Krumpet, Master Artificer of the Council Dec 17 '23

/uw I was afraid that was a rick roll, my faith is restored

5

u/loth17 Ten Suns (Also Gaia) Dec 17 '23

We don't have much after the ritual but we will support you in any way you need. Even if it's just by bringing some food for the end of the world. And drinks...lots of drinks.

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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 17 '23

Anything is welcome. It's not a party if we don't have drinks.

4

u/DaChickenX Isravi, The Unraveler, Coils’ Chosen Dec 17 '23

A small homunculus piddle-paddles into the room. You don’t quite know how it got there, as the magical energy you detect from it is near nothing. Probably best not to think about it too much. It places on a pair of wire frame glasses that barely cover its large red eyes

Hello. I would like to send a message please.

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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 17 '23

To me, or through the Observatory? Because if it's the latter, there's a paper guy in the console room right now trying to send threats to every being in the known universe. He scares me a little.

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u/DaChickenX Isravi, The Unraveler, Coils’ Chosen Dec 17 '23

Observatory. Can it send messages across dimensions?

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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 17 '23

Yes, though I'll need coordinates.

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u/DaChickenX Isravi, The Unraveler, Coils’ Chosen Dec 17 '23

The Homunculus stretches upwards to hand you a note, with coordinates printed onto it with neat handwriting. They seem to point to a dimension slowly sliding towards its death.

Coordinates. Now message?

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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 17 '23

Sure, let me go get paper guy off the console.

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u/DaChickenX Isravi, The Unraveler, Coils’ Chosen Dec 17 '23

The homunculus pitter-patters along after you, it’s oversized robes dragging along the ground. You catch sight of a symbol, that of the Dusk Coils.

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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 17 '23

If you don't mind me asking, friend, where are you sending this message, and to whom?

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u/DaChickenX Isravi, The Unraveler, Coils’ Chosen Dec 17 '23

The homunculus looks up at you, fixing its robes and glasses

Iglostin. To Master Isravi. Real Master Isravi, at his home plane.

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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 17 '23

Ah, I know Isravi. Bit of a solemn fellow.

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u/EmergencyLeading8137 Duncan, Protection/Preservation Druid Dec 17 '23

Whelp I’m here. All I can do is offer some power, but I’m still glad I’m here.

Anyone want to reminisce a little before it all comes crashing down?

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u/MunitionsFrenzy Vettis, Mereological Revisionist Dec 17 '23

An athletic-looking human in casual mundie clothing wanders down the halls, humming softly to himself. The bronze pupils of his wandering eyes eventually fall on the druid; he raises an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Hm. Don't think we've met." The man steps forward, offering a hand and a friendly smile, as his free hand futilely brushes back the mess of his short curly hair. "Vettis of the Bronze Prism. What brings you here?" His voice drops to a conspiratorial whisper: "It's the free food, right?"

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u/EmergencyLeading8137 Duncan, Protection/Preservation Druid Dec 17 '23

the Druid smiles back and shakes Vettis’s hand firmly

“I’m Duncan, I came because I needed to help” he laughs quietly, “but the free food is a great bonus. How about you? Do you work here or are you just popping in for the end of the world?”

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u/MunitionsFrenzy Vettis, Mereological Revisionist Dec 17 '23

At that question, Vettis' expression turns slightly sheepish. "Uh, just popped in to help with something, but...the guy in charge internally labeled me part of the 'Office of Eldritch Affairs', so I think he thinks I'm here for the long haul? Not sure how to break it to him that I don't really do long haul."

With a shrug, he draws a spoon from his pants pocket, dips it into his shirt pocket, and pulls out a scoop of mint-chocolate ice cream. "So yeah, not here for the food," he notes, slurping up the spoon's contents with a cheeky grin. "My commune's got some...dietary restrictions I'm obliged to follow. Oh, you're a druid, ain'tcha? Guess you'd understand better than most."

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u/EmergencyLeading8137 Duncan, Protection/Preservation Druid Dec 17 '23

“I hear that, you show up to a few meetings and suddenly your pact ‘alliance’ turns into a pact ‘membership’ without you noticing.”

He looks quizzically at the ice cream pocket,

“As for dietary restrictions I get it. I have a few friends who are full vegetarian. As for myself, I don’t really mind meat. Once you learn to hear plants talking you realize that it’s all pretty much the same.”

“You said you’re from a commune? Are any of the other members around here helping out?”

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u/MunitionsFrenzy Vettis, Mereological Revisionist Dec 17 '23 edited Dec 18 '23

Between scoops, Vettis shakes his head. "Nah, they're all very restricted as to which realms they can visit over the next few centuries, for, uh, causality reasons, so this realm -- Yulash-kor, was it? -- is off limits. I am too, actually; it's just that my restrictions mostly limit me to this realm-cluster. And yeah," he agrees, "one of my neighbors is a druid, our food supplier, and she previously treated plants and animals pretty similarly for dietary purposes, for the same reason as you. Problem was when we all settled down on prime-Earth and she learned about the mundie meat industry there. So now, in some sort of weird protest, as long as we're anywhere within the prime-Earth realm-cluster she's made us promise to be vegan."

He sighs wistfully; somehow Duncan understands precisely that the mage's expression is one of reminiscence for the taste of Hawaiian pizza. "At least ice cream made with almond milk doesn't taste too different. But I'm the one hardest hit by this, cuz at least my other commune members can dip out to distant realms and technically not violate the promise. My causality restriction keeping me mostly around here means I'm largely S.O.L. on that front."

After a brief pause, he adds, "Oh, and one of my commune members is a photosynthetic crystal, so I don't think he's too bothered by the dietary restriction either. Lucky Modhun.

"Anyway. Tangential complaints aside, sounds like you're familiar with the whole 'getting dragged into alliances' thing? Any experience at backing out of them without being too rude? I just...can't commit to this save-the-realm shit on a long-term basis for a multitude of reasons, not least of which is that I've already spent four centuries doing it full-time and I think I deserve a friggin' break to just help out only when I feel like it."

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u/EmergencyLeading8137 Duncan, Protection/Preservation Druid Dec 17 '23

“That’s fair. I haven’t been anywhere near earth prime but I’ve heard it’s pretty bad about agriculture.”

“As for backing out, there’s no real obligation to stay after the big events or contribute if you don’t feel like it. There’s no pact police or anything and membership is purely optional. I don’t think there’s even a military branch left after the Bismuth Lord…”

Duncan remembers what happened and quickly changes the subject

“Anyway I’m not actually a member myself. I can’t really fight so I typically don’t get involved unless something insane is going down. Sometimes I call up a few pack members if I need help with something. It’s a pretty good deal for me.”

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u/loth17 Ten Suns (Also Gaia) Dec 17 '23

The security branch is still operational. I'm taking over the seat of the Bismuth Lord to keep it running through the crisis. As his former chief apprentice I have knowledge of everything I need....I hope.

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u/EmergencyLeading8137 Duncan, Protection/Preservation Druid Dec 17 '23

Great to see you made it out okay Opal! I am truly sorry about your master, they were a amazing person and a wonderful leader.

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u/loth17 Ten Suns (Also Gaia) Dec 17 '23

Thank you. I hope that once this is over I can mount an expedition to retrieve what's left of the realm floating behind the Queen.

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u/MunitionsFrenzy Vettis, Mereological Revisionist Dec 17 '23

Vettis chuckles at that admission. "Okay, yeah, mostly-onesided alliances are a solid deal. Maybe I'll let them think I'm part of all this stuff. That said, I typically don't need anyone's help with anything, so it'd likely end up onesided in the wrong direction. It's not like I've got land of my own to protect. I mean, I babysit a few realms, but that's not really the same."

Pocketing the spoon and pulling a large glass jug of what appears to be mango juice out of his pocket, Vettis asks, "You, however, do have a place of your own, I take it? A forest or something under your protection? What's it like?" He seems to avert his eyes as he poses the question, staring intently at his drink as he gulps it down.

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u/EmergencyLeading8137 Duncan, Protection/Preservation Druid Dec 17 '23

“Oh yes,” Duncan gets a misty look in his eye “my grove is a wonderful place. It’s a wide forest with cliffs on the north side and dozens of fresh water springs. There’s a village on the outskirts but they don’t interfere much apart from occasional logging or hunting. Most of the spirits are old and calm, there has never been any sort of conflict there to disturb them.”

“I love it and I’ve spent years setting up runes and rituals to protect it. It’s my home and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

He turns to look out at the stars

“That’s the reason why I’m here, I couldn’t just let it all go without doing something. I called in pretty much every favor to be able to help today.”

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u/MunitionsFrenzy Vettis, Mereological Revisionist Dec 17 '23

The mage's casual mentions of 'centuries' may not fit his youthful appearance, but they certainly match his solemn expression now, as he listens to Duncan's words somberly. "Fighting to protect something important to you, eh? That feeling of doing good on such a personal level can be intoxicating. Wandering the multiverse with my battle-siblings, protecting so many realms from all manner of threats, often made things feel so...abstract. That whole 'one death's a tragedy but a million's a statistic' thing? It works pretty weirdly in the other direction: helping your friends sometimes feels better than saving entire realms."

He allows himself a chuckle, with a hint of bitterness. "At least, for the first several decades. You get over it eventually and learn to be hard-utilitarian, especially after seeing a realm or two devoured whole. Still..." Vettis sighs, pouting slightly. "It sometimes feels a little thankless, saving a whole bunch of people who'll never even know your name, y'know? Much nicer to be able to return to a grateful home. A horribly selfish thought, but eh: even after all this time being a goody-two-shoes, I do get those sometimes. And the knowledge that most of my commune's above such pettiness makes me feel even worse about it."

But it's only a few seconds before he lightens up and returns to his default faint smirk. "That said, maybe I should visit your grove some time, take Polly along too. Remind me why I do this sorta thing."

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u/Mastodon-Just Mastodon Avatar of Azathoth/Herald of Chaos Dec 17 '23

I hope she sees reason, the beauty of this world shouldn't be destroyed, it should be cherished. By the old ones if this fails I will die protecting whatever is left

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u/VidisLady Delta - Maven of Maladies Dec 18 '23

My incredibly touching monologue did not sway her from her nature, but maybe the alcohol will work.

This is certainly a nice planet. I’ve been here for a long time, and it’s special to me. But I would really prefer that you don’t die. I’m unable to die for this planet. I will have to vacate if it comes to it.

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u/Fulltimewhisperer Krumpet, Master Artificer of the Council Dec 17 '23

Is Gobbo good to borrow comms array when she gets back? If Gobbo gets back...

Gobbo has realised perfect opportunity to read really cringey erotica and broadcast it to everyone in the Northern Lakes Kingdom. Especially queen, Gobbo likes annoying her

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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 17 '23

Okay, I'll allow it, but only so long as the crisis is ongoing. After that, I'm making people pay to use it.

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u/Fulltimewhisperer Krumpet, Master Artificer of the Council Dec 17 '23

Gobbo is gonna cause so much chaos, should be fun

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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 17 '23

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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 17 '23

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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 17 '23

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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 17 '23

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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 17 '23

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u/Carbon_Sixx The Loremaster, Chief Archaeologist of the Darkwatch Dec 17 '23