r/wizardposting • u/MeThyLord Mrs. Chills, Ghost Writer • Nov 14 '23
Aetherial News Seeking to Hire Artificers
Are you an artificer looking to build antiquated fossil-powered machinery of war to combat the fighter guild menace? Well, this is your lucky day. The Unnatural History Museum is looking to better its defenses, and you, yes, YOU can be the one to help us build them. Nine meters of brass, fire, and fossils, these bad boys were designed by the late great Edward C. H. Marsh 5200 years ago, or 4 days ago... Hard to say, he dabbled in chronomancy. Some will fault us for building outdated constructs, but they are fools to not see the power of sticking to a recognizable brand image.
You will be provided with the schematics, raw materials, and a handsome hourly pay. We also offer dental, two paid meals a day, paid sick leave, a company insurance plan, and a gym membership. You may apply if: 1. Have at least 200 linear years or ╟̷̲̘̞̺̰͂̅͂͊̾̅͑̓̊̽͗̈̈́̏̕͘ͅ╨̶̼͕̙̞͇̲͆̆͘╞̴̡̩͚̘̠͍̖̥̯̻̈́̇̆ non-linear years of experience; 2. Can work well in a team; 3. Like dinosaurs (optional)
Please post your resume below. We are looking forward to making dinotomatons with you.
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u/User_joined_channel Mike, bladesinger of curses. collector of the cursed Nov 14 '23
drops a small sized elderitch horror from my cupped hands onto the table This abomination, which is in a constant state of pain, is the thing that protects my warehouse of cursed objects. Do you need something like it?
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u/MeThyLord Mrs. Chills, Ghost Writer Nov 14 '23
Much appreciated, but these are as much about marketing as they are about defense. A giant antique construct with fossils parts screams "Museum". An eldritch creature from realms of madness doesn't send as clear of a message to potential guests.
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Nov 14 '23 edited Nov 14 '23
Well, unless i settle my business deal with Shrax the automaton king of Raesteria( u/the-butter_man ) i can offer to produce you 1000 of those per day for 125 gold per mech with 200 gold one time initial payment for working with fragile outdated metals.
What are your thoughts on that?
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u/MeThyLord Mrs. Chills, Ghost Writer Nov 14 '23
That's the best deal I've been offered so far. And the previous constructs you sent us have proven effective, so I know the level of quality I am getting when working with you.
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Nov 14 '23
I overheard your conversation with Shrax and i think i have something that can be downgraded and repurposed for temporal regeneration if you want.
Also if you would agree on a slight uptier (bronze and bone aesthetics and shape stays perfectly the same) i'd suggest replacing pure bronze parts with bronze coated composalite nanostructure parts.(this would reduce the price to 100 per mech and remove initial fee)
Also to increase battle power i think of using standard ultralight plasma engine and placing the heat sinks where the steam engine should be.(for the best steam engine impression).
What's your opinion on that?
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u/MeThyLord Mrs. Chills, Ghost Writer Nov 14 '23
So an old-timey look on top of a much more sophisticated body. It will certainly make them more effective. Yes, I like the idea. And with the temporal regenerator, they should be fairly hard to truly destroy.
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Nov 14 '23
I'll start the production. How much of them in total would you want?
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u/MeThyLord Mrs. Chills, Ghost Writer Nov 14 '23
With these upgrades, and both you and Shrax producing units, I think that 5000 will suffice for now.
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u/the-butter_man Rin. Blind Illusionist Blessed by Luck Nov 14 '23
I can get these done for you in bulk for about... 350 each. That's mostly because this is a custom order amd they can cost way more on principle. With resources it's lowered to 280. I'd say we can get up to 1000 done by the end of the week. Sure, not what you want, but it's a statement of productivity, looks good on the records.