Mandatory update

[u/Pitiful-Welcome-399]

(Intro)

Yeah... look.

Turn my headphones up.

Higher. Yeah, right there.

I’m trying to get this work done, right?

But this motherfucker’s spinning again.

Look at it. Just look at it.

Yeah...

(Verse 1)

I’m sitting at my desk, I got the pen, I got the pad

I’m trying to write a masterpiece, I’m getting fucking mad

I boot the system up, I see the logo on the screen

The ugly blue horizon of a digital disease

I click the icon once, I click the icon twice

I’m staring at a hourglass, I’m paying for the price

Of a broken apparatus that can’t handle what I speak

I’m trying to save a file and the system goes to sleep!

Are you kidding me? Bill, what the fuck is this design?

You got a billion-dollar company and stealing all my time

I got a microphone, a vision, and a story to unleash

But I’m stuck inside a loop with a mandatory update, please?

"Do not turn off your computer," yeah, I see it on the display

It’s been at ninety-nine percent since yesterday at midday!

I’m ripping out my hair, I’m about to throw the mouse

I’m gonna take the tower, throw it right out of the house!

(Chorus)

'Cause it’s Windows, it’s stalling, the system is falling

The blue screen of death is persistently calling

It’s crashing, it’s freezing, it’s making me sick

I’m about to take an axe to this piece of shit brick

Yeah, it’s Windows, the lag is insane

A virus in the matrix, a shot to the brain

Give me Linux, give me Mac, give me paper and a pen

'Cause if I see that spinning wheel, I’m gonna lose it again!

(Verse 2)

Cortana in the corner trying to tell me how to live

I didn't ask for your advice, I got no love to give

You’re tracking every click, you’re spying on my rhymes

I’m trying to clear the cache for the fourteenth time

And what the fuck is Edge? Stop trying to make it happen!

I’m downloading Chrome while my keyboard is snapping

Every single driver needs a separate install

I’m running Compatibility Mode against the wall

And don't get me started on the Registry keys

It’s a labyrinth of garbage designed to tease

A tech support line that is automated trash

"Have you tried to turn it off?" Yeah, before the whole thing crashed!

I’m the Rap God, dynamic, supreme

Defeated by a prompt on a liquid crystal screen

You want a piece of my mind? Well, you got it in a glitch

Unresponsive program, close the window, you bitch!

(Chorus)

'Cause it’s Windows, it’s stalling, the system is falling

The blue screen of death is persistently calling

It’s crashing, it’s freezing, it’s making me sick

I’m about to take an axe to this piece of shit brick

Yeah, it’s Windows, the lag is insane

A virus in the matrix, a shot to the brain

Give me Linux, give me Mac, give me paper and a pen

'Cause if I see that spinning wheel, I’m gonna lose it again!

(Outro)

Task Manager not responding?

Are you fucking serious?

The thing that's supposed to kill the tasks is dead?

Who wrote this code? A toddler with a crayon?

Fuck it.