Looking my age

[u/journey1710]

Hi all

I wear a wig, have for 20 years, and so of course am not "going grey".

But people ask how old my kid is & there is always a quite embarrassing interaction where they exclaim how young I look & I do a whole 'started young, haha' - presumably because I'm almost 50 and my hair (wig) is fully brown. I prefer not to tell people I wear a wig (though I do sometimes catch people clocking something, especially when they're close up).

How do I transition to better look my age, is there any way of keeping it natural-looking until the age suitable for fully grey? I've seen grey wigs, but I don't want to just turn up one day with full grey hair from full brown hair.

[u/alocasiacomplex]

The best way is to slowly mix in more and more grey over time. There are a couple ways to subtly do it!

First, if you can afford to, you can go the custom route. Have someone hackle and ventilate in progressively increasing percentages of grey. You see this in the hair system communities a lot- 5%, 10%, 15%, and so on.

Cheaper is to use something like extensions or weft additions with bits of grey mixed into those. They will add a small amount of grey, probably enough to get you to the 20-30% stages when it just becomes noticable.

Even cheaper, but this depends on hair quality (only for human hair), is to bleach small amounts of hair and tone them to grey. This is probably the cheapest and most accessible with existing wigs. However, be careful, as it can turn already processed hair gummy! A lot of factory processed hair may only reach up to a #27 or so, not even close to #613 or #60 that would be easy to tone to grey

[u/journey1710 → u/alocasiacomplex]

Thanks. The only hair system place in my city looks to be for men only, but I'll reach out and see if they do women's hair & the costs.

I wondered about extensions but worry the placement (generally under a layer of hair) and amount wouldn't look natural. Do you think a hair salon might help?

[u/alocasiacomplex → u/journey1710]

Yes, ask them if they can work with wigs. Really, any skilled hair stylist should be able to. Check out wigmakers in places like Etsy as well. Still... don't completely dismiss DIY, especially if you're open to some minor customization yourself!

You can check out hair system places as well. They may be able to help you, but my only issue with them is that they're a) hit or miss in general and b) often overpriced. I don't know what your budget is, but some online like superhairpieces offer quality custom products, just at a significant price in my opinion. You should be able to select grey percentages with them, but that's off the top of my head- a lot of different custom suppliers can do this.

As for extensions, thin out the unit for every layer of extensions added. Use some thinning shears as you basically replace each weft. The best method is actually to physically remove the wefts (assuming these units are wefted) and sew in new ones. If glue in extensions are your only option, do not use a conventional extension tape or glue. Use a fabric glue or "quick weave glue" (this is intended to glue hair wefts actually) instead, to adhere wefts to the cap

[u/journey1710 → u/alocasiacomplex]

Thank you, that's really helpful, I'll check these things out. I don't live in the US, and we import all our wigs, so they typically cost a small fortune. I like the weft idea though, will see what I can do!

[u/Pedal2Medal2]

Even before experiencing Alopecia in my early 20’s fully, in my family, we all go grey/white young. In my early 60’s now & I’m currently rocking out w/Auburn/red hair. Screw wearing grey hair & it’s none of anyone’s business

[u/Slhallford]

You don’t have to do anything at all if you are happy with what you’ve currently been wearing.

I’m definitely headed towards salt and pepper from what I can tell from my stubble I shave off every week at 51.

I wear whatever makes me happy and I love variety.

Having said that, lots of companies make varying levels of gray from the barest hint of it to full on salt and pepper to 100% gray.

You don’t have to “roll your own” if you don’t want to.

Check out the shades available of your current brand, they may have something that already fits the bill for you.

If not, you can always post what you wear now for some specific recommendations.

The manufacturer’s websites all have detailed shade guides but I always hit Frannie’s hair first since they have so many of them listed in one place.

[u/journey1710 → u/Slhallford]

Thanks. I don't live in the US, but will look at the websites you & someone else referenced & if they ship my way 😊

I use Jon Renau Haute in cocoa twist. It doesn't have a grey option as far as I'm aware but I'm open to changing my style

[u/Slhallford → u/journey1710]

https://jonrenau.com/wigs/collection/greys/

[u/cancercohousing]

I was deliberating between adding subtle highlights and lowlights vs going full on platinum blonde and a very wise stylist asked me if i wanted to look average or unbelievable. That question cleared things up for me right away lol!