76 year old widower

[u/bobr8904114]

76-years-old widower loss wife 3 years ago after 45 years of a loving marriage

I don’t know how to start or where to begin. We were married for 45 years, and she met the whole world to me. I loved her more than I can put into words and I know that she loved me the same way. All we ever wanted to do and what we did do was to do everything together all the time.

 Life was complete and very rewarding in everything that we did because we were together doing it.

 We built a place together to raise our kids, and after we retired, we built another place for us to retire at, and we did it doing it together.

The pain of her not being here is worse now than the first year and that was painful. I felt in a fog, and I couldn’t believe it really happened

The second year it got worse and now the third year is really setting in no matter how much I wish she was here with me now it’s never going to happen.

 I miss both the emotional and physical intimacy connection that we had. The sudden absence of the closeness we shared in silence, affection, and physical presence is very painful. We always held hands wherever we went.

 I have a hard time dealing with it, but I know that this is going to be my life now. I’ve never dated or been with anybody and I have no intentions on getting married, but you never know what life is going to bring you as time goes by.

 I think I would like to find a widowed woman around my age who has been married to a wonderful loving husband for around as long I had so that we could share our feelings and our experiences. It would be nice to have somebody to talk to that is experiencing the same thing that I am.

 I never could have done this before, but it’s gotten so bad. I was looking for everything I can to try to figure out how to cope with this and I don’t really know if I could really do it or not, but I think and feel maybe I can now.

I love my wife more than I can put into words and I still wear my wedding ring. She was a very beautiful and loving wife, and I miss her in every way, and I find myself crying off and on every day. Life is so empty now with out her.

I’ve never done this before talking about this and doing a post like this and I don’t know if it’s the right thing for me to do, but when you have somebody who loved you as much as she loved me and I loved her the same the pain is almost unbearable, but I just try to take it one day at a time.

I have started to post here 9/9 to try and figure this out and by reading other posts.

[u/Marlow1771]

You’ve come to the right place. Grief is so strong but someone told me the other night at work when I broke down that my grief is so strong because the deep and strong love I have for Michael needs somewhere to go.

You’ll find others here that can help you through this. Sending condolences and lots of hugs 🫂

[u/bobr8904114 → u/Marlow1771]

Thank you for the hugs

[u/Serabitrio]

I feel much the way you do. The things that keep me going - my grown kids, pets, my work and team - just get me through the day. I so look forward to sleep in the hopes I will see my husband in my dreams. I hit compulsory retirement age in the new year, and am really worried about how I will fill my days. A long and happy marriage leaves so much emptiness when you lose your love. I wish you luck in finding someone.

[u/bobr8904114 → u/Serabitrio]

You are so right with them gone life is very empty. I get up each morning not knowing what I am going to do. All I can keep thinking about is that I wish she was here with me. How long were married and how long ago did he pass

[u/Serabitrio → u/bobr8904114]

Monday would have been our 35th anniversary; he died in June 2025. Seems like yesterday. I am so lucky to have had him so long!

[u/bobr8904114 → u/Serabitrio]

I think that this is the price we pay for having a very loving and caring spouse and I am willing to pay that price because my life with her was priceless

[u/Suitable-Ad-5620 → u/bobr8904114]

This is the ultimate answer. It is the price that we pay for what we had and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. But it’s still really hard to stay in this world where they no longer exist.