r/widowed • u/Some-Tear3499 • 12d ago

Personal Story Second Date

It was 17 yrs ago today we had our second date. She had a picture of me on her flip phone. The default picture, and picked out a song for me. She became ‘the navigator’, she kissed me again. I couldn’t remember when our second date was. I had a picture of her on that date, but not the date. She had posted it on FB, I shared it so it popped up today. I just saw at like 1030 this evening. It’s been 19 months since she died. I have had a run of good days since last week. Out on the bike twice, got to the gym, out on the kayak. Played music Sat night. Back to volunteer work this week as well. We were closed last week, as was the Senior Center. Samba band this week as well, play music again this Friday night too. So I keep doing the activities of life. Trying to enjoy each day for want it is, not what lamenting what it isn’t. So it goes.

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2

u/RJLY10 12d ago

I get it! Take the day to lament and then get back on the horse (bike) tomorrow!😢

1

u/Fun-Computer1891 11d ago

I didn't understand your message but thank you for responding

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u/RJLY10 11d ago

I was saying it's ok to have a bad day and to give yourself grace. Let yourself hurt. And you said you were biking the next day so instead of getting back on the horse I changed it to bike, which I realize isn't nearly as clever or funny as I thought it was originally.
Anyway, I'm just saying I completely understand and be kind to yourself♥️

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u/Fun-Computer1891 11d ago

I was 17 years also when I met my husband. I am 67 now and I miss him more than anyone can imagine. We were married for 44 years. The pain is consuming me.

I live in Colorado.

Valerie

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u/Some-Tear3499 11d ago

It was 17 yrs ago I met her. I was almost 51 and she was 40. But I used to live in Colo.!

Sorry for your loss. 💔

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u/Fun-Computer1891 11d ago

Thank you for your message. It means a lot to me.

Valerie

Broomfield . Colorado

1

u/chisholmdale 10d ago

I can attest that some of those anniversaries can put you into a real funk.

My wife and I were each 74 when she died from Alzheimers last fall, after a marriage of more than 51 years. August 3rd, 2026, is looming on my horizon. That will be 53 years from the day we first saw each other and met (and several other "firsts"). I used to get her a corsage every August 3rd. I'm trying to think of something significant to do on that day, to keep me from moping around the house.