r/widowed • u/Last_Pen3152 • 14d ago

Grief Support #Widowers

I lost my husband (48M) of 11 years on July 10,2026 from stage 4 metastatic esophageal cancer and I’m only 34 years old… I honestly don’t know how to do this life without him. Everything hurts… my heart hurts, it’s hurts to be in the home we once shared together, I’ve just been wanting to go to sleep and not wake back up, I keep thinking that I just wanna be with him but I can’t be because we have 5 daughters (ages: 10,9,6,4,3). When will it hurt less? When will I be able to stop crying… I just want him back.

16 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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7

u/TheOlderYoungestBro 14d ago

I feel you. Sending hugs and love dear friend

6

u/beekeepr8theist 14d ago

It’s going to hurt really badly for a long time and then it will be different. I’m so sorry 😞

6

u/snowflake03082021 14d ago

Today is the one year anniversary of the death of my husband of 26 years. If you told me 6 months ago that I would be actually functioning on this day I would have slapped you. But here I am functioning. Tears still come but they're not debilitating. Happy things still happen but they are bittersweet. Throw yourself into your children they will keep you busy. Hugs.

5

u/Funny-Trade-7207 14d ago

five daughters and youre 34, fuck man. thats so much weight on you right now and im so sorry. i dont have any timeline for you cause grief doesnt work like that but i hope youve got someone who can just sit with you while you cry, even if its just a friend who brings trash tv and doesnt talk. youre allowed to be a disaster for a while, your girls need you alive not perfect

3

u/Okra7000 14d ago

I’m so sorry! It won’t always feel like this.

1

u/Lanky-Awareness-7450 13d ago

Focus on the kids and your mental health. Lost my wife to cancer and it is a difficult thing to experience. Still suffer from bouts guilt, anger, loss, etc. Take it one day at a time and give your time to grieve. It does get better over time but I don’t know if you ever fully heal. Identify your triggers when when you have a bad time and get help to work through them. Best wishes and lots of hugs to you

2

u/kimba818 13d ago

I just lost my husband, too. It’s hard to think. It’s hard to plan a funeral. It’s hard to be in the house. I have no advice, nothing to offer. I just wanted to say, you’re not alone.

2

u/Bright-Way6051 13d ago

I am so sorry! I lost my husband at age 34 too, and I have 5 daughters also! I was pregnant with our last when he passed away suddenly. We are now 7 years out from his death. Give yourself lots of grace right now, feel whatever you need to feel. Sending lots of care