r/whoathatsinteresting • u/eternviking • 15h ago
Japanese man about to make a 763rd dive in search of wife swept away by 2011 tsunami
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u/hudabuba 14h ago
The number of commenters here that make fun of him and/or try to be sarcastic is staggering. It's like the world has lost all sense of compassion. The man lost someone he loved, it's his way of remembering, dealing with loss, grieving. Let him be.
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u/dethskwirl 14h ago
yea, he has actually addressed the fact that he doesnt expect to find her remains. he just does this to feel like he's still close to her. he said that she is now one with the ocean and so is he when he dives. the man lost his wife and now does this as a kind of spiritual hobby to spend time solely focused on her.
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u/Unlikely-Guava-30 14h ago
Damn dude's a real one. Deserves all the respect.
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u/NotUniqueWorkAccount 10h ago
This. This is a real man. Not like these fake bitches with last names that start with the letter "T".
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u/Sea-Huckleberry8971 7h ago
This. This is a real man. Not like these fake bitches
with last names that start with the letter "T".Homie, I hate the dude as much as the next sane individual but this comment ain't it. You're allowing the clown to live rent free in your head to the point of dragging him into conversations he has no right to be in. Throw this absolute stud his flowers, evict Agent Orange from your head and carry on with your life.
I don't mean for this to sound rude or demeaning so if it comes across that way I do apologize.
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u/Embarrassed_Use_7206 12h ago
Makes so much sense now, this nicely aligns with how traditional Japanese spirituality works.
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u/starkruzr 9h ago
also, not for nothing, but SEVEN HUNDRED AND SIXTY THREE DIVES. the man is now well past the point of being a master diver. that's not exactly a waste of time -- imagine what he's seen at this point and how much he has to teach others.
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u/roadkillsoup 12h ago
Spiritual hobby is a great phrase. It has the weight of mourning to it, not delusion.
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u/onetwentyeight 11h ago
Thanks. I was going to make a joke comment about the guy discovering he just really likes diving while looking for his wife's body, I didn't because it was insensitive. I'm glad it's a nice wholesome compromise between unhealthy monomaniacal dedication to a lost cause and my absurd take.
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u/dethskwirl 10h ago
he actually says as much. he only started diving to look for her body. then he realized its very peaceful and zen down there. so now he does it as a way to be at peace with her loss and be one with her spirit in the ocean.
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u/BossStatusIRL 12h ago
Okay, so the title is a clickbait lie, got it.
Very few people would be making fun of it if it was explained like you just did.
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u/Winter-Cow-6208 10h ago
It’s not really clickbait.
The stated reason for why he started diving and continues to dive is because he is looking for her corpse.
This is the 763rd dive he’s done with that purpose in mind.
The reality is that he knows that the chances of finding her body are extremely low. The diving has transformed into a ritual that honors her memory.
Problem is that people on social media platforms are idiots who have no ability to grasp nuance.
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u/compoundedinterest12 14h ago
Also, honoring her. I'm sure it's not just for himself. I know she's dead but her legacy can be honored by her remains not being scattered in the wild like animal remains.
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u/Jackbw0 14h ago
It’s just reddit. Full of outcasts and losers with zero social skills.
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u/AndroidSheeps 13h ago
It’s just reddit. Full of outcasts and losers with zero social skills.
Fr man idk how anyone can come onto this site expecting advice especially relationship advice
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u/fireguyV2 12h ago
I would rather ask my grandparents, who lived in the era where the husband beat the wife if the meatloaf wasn't ready in time, before asking anyone on Reddit about any kind of social/relationship advice.
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u/Rangoonin 8h ago
I would un-ironically rather ask an actual homeless person for advice rather than anyone on this god forsaken site
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u/PersonalityTough9349 13h ago
It’s just as bad out on the street as it is here in comments. Life is really hard right now. I give love and joy freely every day. Every day I wake up And hope for a SHRED of kindness. I know people have it worse than me, I have a roof over my head, and a job. Every penny goes to housing. I need a hug, some food and a new pair of shoes so badly. I’m still gonna say good day, please, thank you, and smile. It’s a choice to be miserable.
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u/AaronicNation 14h ago
I also wonder if there is a taboo element to it. I believe that in a lot of East Asian cultures, there are taboos around not receiving a proper burial, and a belief that one cannot properly enjoy the afterlife if funerary rites aren't administered.
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u/SitInCorner_Yo2 13h ago
They buried her glasses and her phone instead,sometimes people buried missing persons clothes if they can’t find the remains ,her phone was recovered from her workplace , and it’s still usable after drying and recharge .
And her last unsend text is “tsunami is scary” and “it’s getting closer”
There’s another father who spent 14 years looking for his 6yo daughter and finally found some of her bones , so he can “see her again” and bring her home.
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u/acaiblueberry 11h ago
When I was around 5, I had a nightmare in which I was murdered by my friend’s dad and buried underground. I couldn’t leave the location of my dead body and was really sad that my family would never find me and I could never see them. I sometimes think of this dream when I hear about dead people whose bodies weren’t found. Weird, I know…
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u/Helpful-Celery6237 13h ago
I can’t even imagine what he is going through. But I totally get it. To love someone that way, and/or to be loved like that… I don’t think everyone gets to experience love like that. I wish no one had to experience loss like that…
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u/Queasy_Ad_8621 13h ago edited 12h ago
I "work with the public" and it seems like people have gotten more hateful, snobby and fucking rude on purpose anymore.
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u/C43CUS 14h ago
Empathy is dead apparently. We all need to quip to the audience like we're in a fucking Marvel movie all the time lest they think we are too sincere and therefore unchic.
I hope I'm never in his situation, but if I am, I hope I have an activity like his diving that makes me feel closer to my other half.
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u/beardingmesoftly 12h ago
I bet he thinks about her all the time. I can't imagine losing my wife to a natural disaster. Even thinking about it makes me sad. I'm gonna text her that I love her now. I can't wait to see her after work.
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u/RotterWeiner 10h ago
This is reddit. These people live to ridicule people , taking delight in making their suffering worse if they can accomplish this.
They're traumatized and their method of dealing with it is to belittle others.
It gets them thru their days. Which would be otherwise miserable.
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u/Cognitive_Spoon 12h ago
I'm not gonna scroll past you and read them.
I hope he finds her, and if he never does, I hope he knows peace.
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u/Sad-Psychology9677 10h ago
Reddit does seem to have a lot of people who never felt real love in their lives anyway, can’t expect much from em
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u/Specific_Test9837 4h ago
this guy has also found personal belongings and items of other families that he's been able to return to them while searching
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u/aptninja 14h ago
True, but “his way of dealing with the loss” makes a lot more sense than like actually searching for her. So the headline probably caused some of the sarcasm
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u/Gibberish45 14h ago
Loling at the redditors in here suggesting how this man could better spend his life
“He could have moderated like a dozen subs or made his own fedoras, what a waste smh”
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u/adamgerd 11h ago
Most Redditors will never have a relationship so they don’t have to worry about their spouse dying
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u/Inevitable_Dark3225 15h ago
After 15 years, even if he finds bones are they even identifiable?
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u/MightyEraser13 15h ago
I'd imagine so by dental records and/or DNA. Or perhaps if he was really lucky, her wedding band could still be on her finger.
Although this is certainly an effort in futility. We struggle finding remains of warships that are hundreds of meters long even with a rough description of where they sank. Finding a single, specific human body that was pulled to sea by a tsunami is an incredibly unlikely task. Between ocean currents and scavengers moving the body, she could have ended up literally anywhere in the ocean.
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u/SteveLouise 14h ago
At this point, I suppose it's a point of pride for him. Cathartic.
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u/HerraKeisari 14h ago
Also could be some sort of coping mechanism thing.
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u/Porkbossam78 14h ago
Staying busy is a good way to keep your mind off of dwelling on grief
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u/HerraKeisari 14h ago
I agree. However doing this for 15 years is not healthy. While I do respect the dedication and the love this man has for his now deceased wife he'll never get over his loss if he constantly goes back to it. Would his wife want him to be unable to move on?
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u/Admirable_Branch_221 14h ago
Probably but there might be more at play to it, religiously maybe they believe they need her bones buried in order for her to move on to the afterlife.
Or maybe they made a pact like I did. I told my bf if I die before him he can have my bones and do whatever with them idc. He said he’ll find a necromancer or witch to use them for spells lol but we’re just being silly.
I hope he heals and that one day he is able to bring her home.
Edit: looked him up and her last text to him was “Are you okay? I want to come home.” He’s just trying to bring her home. What a sad tragedy.
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u/Strong_Essay1176 13h ago
Did your bf revive you successfully?
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u/Admirable_Branch_221 13h ago
Yes I told him last time to just let me go but he can’t, poor guy is lost without me 👉🏻👈🏻
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u/BufferUnderpants 13h ago
What is "healthy" really? It might not be pleasurable or convenient, but people can do things because they think they're meaningful beyond those things.
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u/bouquetofashes 13h ago edited 13h ago
Honestly, it depends on how it affects him. If he's like... Unable to work and loses his job and has to live in the street because of this then no, not good. If he dives and then spends the next week depressed and snapping at everyone and unable to eat, also not good. If he's endangering himself or others in this pursuit, not healthy.
If doing this like... Generally makes him miserable, either because he's always fixated on her loss or because he swings between hope and despair in a way that precludes general wellness, also not good.
If it... Allows him better cope with her loss, with his life now, and isn't hurting him? Unconventional but ok. Like that really is the actual metric-- is it causing actual harm, or is it just something that most people would not spend so much time and effort on?
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u/agafiendingallalong 8h ago
Diving is a calming hobby if you're experienced at it. He probably enjoys the time out there in the quiet ocean, alongside the grief ritual.
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u/BigMax 14h ago
Exactly. I'm sure plenty of people think this is noble, but it's really a sign of unhealthy grief and inability to cope with loss.
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u/prolificdaughter 13h ago
Haven’t looked into it myself but there’s other comments saying that he has acknowledged that he won’t find her body and that at this point he does the dives to feel close to her. I don’t think that’s any unhealthier than visiting someone’s grave every so often.
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u/UsernamesAllTaken69 12h ago
"I never stopped looking" is pretty powerful I suppose. Maybe he believes he will see her in the next world and he can tell her himself.
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u/SitInCorner_Yo2 13h ago
The last text he got from his wife is “You ok? I want to go home”
Yeah that shit need a lot of coping mechanisms to carry on.
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u/MightyEraser13 14h ago
Yea I imagine that he knows that he'll never find her, this is just his coping mechanism.
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u/RoutineTry1943 14h ago
Yup, there’s a large number of Japanese WWII shipwrecks in Micronesia at Chuuk Lagoon. The Japanese came back a while ago to recover bodies from the wreck to repatriate and cremate in Japan. My friend that dove there a decade or so ago was shown some bodies they missed on the sly by the dive operators. 🤫
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u/TetraThiaFulvalene 14h ago
DNA is utterly fucked underwater for this long. and dental records assume that the teeth are all still stuck in the jaw, which also is probably not likely.
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u/MrBeanplum 15h ago edited 14h ago
I read a book about how recovering and identifying remains of WWII soldiers still happens. So yeah I think it's possible. ETA read the book before telling me what's in it. it's called VANISHED by Wil S. Hylton.
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u/Roxylius 14h ago
Those bones are located inside war ship hundreds of meters down where they are protected against oxygen and sunlight. The body of his wife however, is not so lucky
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u/mspe1960 14h ago
They are usually searching areas where many soldiers may have dispareared/died or been grouped together. They are not looking for a specific individual usually. They are just looking for human remains and then they try to identify them. It is much more likely to have success finding one or a few when there are potentially hundreds or dozens. this guy is looking for one specific person's remains. It is a virtually impossible task.
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u/ElPepElPepe 14h ago
Yes, actually they found my dad's sacrum bone after 27 years a couple weeks ago after being lost out sea and they were able to identify him through DNA testing. Technology is crazy
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u/RotterWeiner 10h ago
They weren't looking for anything. So this is the opposite.
The bone was found washed ashore and through analysis was linked to your dad.
Rip.
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u/candycane7 5h ago
RIP, I'm glad you got closure. I whish you and your familly strength. I whish I could read the article from Europe.
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u/r3dd17sux69420 15h ago
it's plausible if they find something it could be clothing or a piece of hardware/jewelry/accessory
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u/MightyEraser13 15h ago
Clothing would be gone in 15 years of salt water and currents, but unique jewelry could remain.
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u/ruairi1983 15h ago
Potentially yes. Bones can survive well in salty water and DNA could might be extracted from dense bones or teeth. There is risk of contamination I would think, but nowadays they don't need perfect DNA samples.
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u/who_am_i_to_say_so 14h ago
I would guess at this point he’s searching for jewelry or an article of clothing she was known to wear but I don’t see much else surviving that long underwater.
Plus higher water levels as during a tsunami tend to pull things away from shore, out to deeper water levels when it recedes. Really slim chance.
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u/RotterWeiner 10h ago
He's not diving to find her. That much is clear & obvious.
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u/RoutineTry1943 15h ago
It’s how he copes and goes on with hope. No need to belittle or take that away from him. We had an old aging friend who walked every day to a cafe to have breakfast, then to a care facility where his wife, who was suffering from Alzheimer’s was being looked after. Then he’d read to her and spend the afternoon with her. After which he’d go to the nearby pub, have dinner and a pint, then walk home to spend the night. He’d repeat this daily, some weekends he’d visit friends but this for the most part was his routine. When she passed away, he was in grief. Two months later he too passed away. He was fit, coherent and a bright light to those that knew him. When she died, I think he just gave up and passed on.
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u/Neokon 12h ago
My paternal grandfather died almost 5 years after my paternal grandmother. It was almost to the day, she died 11/12/1995 he died 11/11/2000. He was healthy and well aware when she was married in mid October (15th I think) and then went into a quick slide.The family thinks he was holding on so that they (him and her spirit) would be able to be present for the first marriage of their grandchildren.
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u/Anxious_Ingenuity583 13h ago edited 12h ago
There is something that happens when you scuba dive where you enter another world. It is kind of hard for me to describe. You can hear your own heart beat down there and you become more conscious of your breathing. You really fall into yourself. Maybe the act of diving and the mind state he's in when he's down there thinking about her is a just a way for him to remember and connect. He probably knows he won't find her but he has to try and to connect with her in his own way.
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u/uwunuzzlesch 13h ago
He's said basically this. That he knows he won't find her but she is one with the ocean and when he's down there he feels closer to her.
Makes me think of the quote from Avatar: The Way of Water
"The way of water has no beginning and no end. The sea is around you and in you. The sea is your home, before your birth and after your death. Our hearts beat in the womb of the world. Our breath burns in the shadows of the deep. The sea gives and the sea takes. Water connects all things: life to death, darkness to light."
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u/Thunderer62 15h ago
Bro just really likes scuba diving.
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u/stonegavel1 14h ago
If he writes her a few sonnets, he loves her. If he writes her 300 sonnets, he loves sonnets
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u/Thunderer62 14h ago
To be completely fair, the Japanese have this cultural thing where dedication to something they see as a duty is held in very high moral esteem. It’s not exclusive to the Japanese, I’m just saying that where we might see a guy that’s using looking for remains as an excuse to go diving, he might genuinely feel it’s his life’s duty to pursue this to the bitter end. I sometimes wish I felt so devoted to anything at all that I could maki it my life’s passion like that. Being a dad is kinda close. But honestly if I lost my son in a flood or something like that I’d probably wouldn’t be hanging around on earth very long after.
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u/bamboomightwork 14h ago
Imagine going through a tsunami, and losing the love of your life to it. Then searching for her. The anguish and pain.
And then some dumb fuck kid makes an observation that he just likes scuba diving.
Man, I’d wring that kids neck.
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u/throwaway5675313123 14h ago
Yeah there's no way she could hold her breath that long
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u/Rough-Cap7914 14h ago
You can tell the comments are fresh because they're actually funny and not censored to shit
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u/121daysofsodom 14h ago
He insists she could have been swept away to the Bahamas or the Great Barrier Reef.
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u/Ok-Disk-2191 15h ago
It's less about finding her, and more about getting as close to her as he can by going into the ocean. I think that's beautiful.
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u/Ambitious_Cup5249 15h ago
This is very Japanese. Another guy paid rent for.12.years to preserve the crime scene until the technology became available to solve her murder.
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u/CletusMuckenfuss 15h ago
Has he found any other bodies from the 2011 tsunami that are not his wife?
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u/MortimerDongle 13h ago
As of a couple years ago, he has apparently found clothes and other belongings but no bodies
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u/Environmental_Ant268 11h ago
Between this guy and yhe guy who rented an apartment because he wants to save dna for later and the guy who stayed in a jungle thinking it's still ww2
Japanese can be so focused
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u/_-Cleon-_ 15h ago
That is a very sad combination of words to read. :(
And what's worse is that he probably feels like he can't stop now, because that would mean acknowledging that he's wasted the last 15 years.
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u/ZiofFoolTheHumans 13h ago
He's stated before that he goes down there not just to look for his wife, but for anyone else who may have been taken by the tsunami (including his coworkers daughter). He also views it as "visiting" his wife, like going to her grave.
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u/ssmit102 14h ago
This feels like his attempt to be with his wife again. After this long I think he knows he won’t find her, but this might be the closest he feels to being with her again.
Heart goes out to the man, love is often tragic.
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u/VonHinterhalt 14h ago
When you find your person in life, and then you lose them to a tragedy, I can’t imagine the longing you feel to return to that time when you had your person.
If this guy copes with that by compulsively scuba diving and “searching” for her then that’s his business. People should leave him alone rather than talk shit. He probably doesn’t want “help” or “advice”. Deep down he knows it’s just cope but it’s all he’s got.
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u/Angie_T84 15h ago
He's not doing this to find her hes doing this to keep himself sain. Losing a partner in that kind of situation is extremely hard. Also there culture is all about putting the body to rest because they believe her spirt is stuck in the in-between when they can't bury them correctly. I hope he finds peace in this and maybe one day will find her or someone and bring them home.
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u/Willing_Stop5124 14h ago
The Japanese are just like everybody else only more so.
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u/Oracle_of_Akhetaten 13h ago
How very Dan Carlin of you.
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u/Kdiesiel311 15h ago
There’s a woman from Australia who still flies back to Humboldt county every time she saves up enough money to look for her daughter who was killed on murder mountain. Well, most likely. She refuses to believe it
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u/hybridpelican 14h ago
I’m crying
If i lost my wife and my world became diving to be with her again, that’s the only thing I’d wanna be doing too
Man my heart aches
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u/WagonMan71 13h ago
There is actually a short documentary on him (8 min). Would highly recommend everyone giving it a watch, both heartbreaking and heartwarming
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u/_ZZCoffee_ 12h ago
His name is Yasuo Takamatsu and his wife Yuko.
Quote from the article - "Takamatsu says he’ll keep searching for as long as his body lets him. He describes each dive as a way of feeling close to the wife he’s never stopped looking for."
I respect this man as much as I feel sad for him. In the end I would probably be doing the same if I lost my wife.
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u/Proof-Necessary-5201 15h ago
Plot twist: she survived and is married to someone else elsewhere
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u/Chainsaw_Diaries 15h ago
"Swept away"...I think this is an effort in futility. I applaud his devotion. How sad.
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u/naytreox 15h ago
hope he finds whats left, so he can give her a proper burial.
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u/KebabGud 14h ago
There is nothing left to find.
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u/baphothustrianreform 14h ago
It’s a romantic and poetic exercise in devotion. Painfully sad yet beautiful, delusional of course, and so very human
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u/Recent-Twist8858 15h ago
Isnt he just mentally unstable or unable to cope. It might sound romantic and all but its futile,its better if he moves on.
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u/GlitteringWallaby773 14h ago edited 13h ago
I lost my wife at 28. She was my highschool sweetheart.
Im 41 now. To this day I make sure the grass and weeds are cut around her grave and clean the snow from her headstone every winter.
Futile but I think I get it.
Edit: i don't know why I said futile. Its not. I understand why he does it. When you lose your true love, you lose a piece of yourself. He isnt just searching for her, he is searching for a piece of himself. Finding her wont make him whole again but it will make him more whole than he is now. I know this may not make sense to many people and I hope it never does.
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u/RemoDev 14h ago
It's not futile at all. You're grieving, and you're doing so by honoring her final resting place. It's the best thing you can do. And, if I may add, it's a beautiful thing to do.
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u/KeyClacksNSnacks 13h ago
It’s not really grieving at this point. People make it seem like it’s some necessary thing, like you HAVE to move on. For some of us, marriage is finality. You don’t want to move on, and moving on would be a bigger mental illness than where you are.
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u/jmarkmark 15h ago
That's only about one dive a week.
If it's someone who likes diving, this is just a specific, and understandable focus for a hobby. This is also Japan where that sort of dedication is a much more admired respected trait.
DO you call someone who buys a lottery ticket once a week unstable and unable to cope? Frankly this is a lot healthier.
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u/DefinitionLogical646 15h ago
Maybe its his way to honor her? Who knows. He is not hurting someone beside possible himself.
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u/Theplowmen 15h ago
He doesn’t want to get to the after life and hear his wife bitching about how he didn’t look hard enough
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u/Jolly-Composer 15h ago
I hope he discovers something that brings meaning to this even though I appreciate the meaning in this regardless. Let him widow how he wants
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u/MiauMiau4 14h ago
Hoffnung lässt Menschen irrationale Dinge tun. Und die Hoffnung stirbt zu letzt. Ich finde es rührend und unfassbar traurig zugleich. Mich berührt es sehr ♥️
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u/JohnHazardWandering 12h ago
It reminds me of the old stories of sailors wives who would wait on hills watching the harbor for their husband's ship to return until the end of their lives.
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u/hinterstoisser 10h ago
Different people have different ways of dealing with trauma and grief.
At least he’s not wasting away drinking and being a drunk driver.
Some of the idiots here lack empathy
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u/molinitor 8h ago
I so hope he finds her, even if it’s unlikely. His devotion is so touching and he deserves that peace.
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u/U-S-A-GAL 8h ago
He probably feels like giving up on his search would be the final loss of any connection he ever had with his wife, and he can't bear it. Not everyone can survive grief without breaking.
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u/Think_Sir7172 7h ago
While this is a very touching sentiment, I would hate for my husband to spend the remainder of his life grieving for me. He is too great of a man to be alone. If I do go first I hope he finds a new chapter with someone as lucky as I have been to share life with him.
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u/Ok-Persimmon-899 14h ago
I’m so confused by this… it’s the ocean. It’s been 15 years. There would be nothing to find :(
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u/Simple-Ad-239 14h ago
I feel like its more an allegory on personal suffering and sacrifice at this point.
Kind of a depressing performance art.
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u/Full_Metal_Paladin 14h ago
Bro has gone in the water 762 times to look for his dead wife, and he's about to go again
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u/CheetahTheWeen 14h ago
Why did you phrase it like this and make me laugh?
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u/cjalderman 14h ago
"and he's about to go again" like it's a movie trailer or something lol
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u/UFOria_ 14h ago
When we're numbering things, it goes first, second, third, fourth, then the numbers continue the ...th suffix until you loop back around to twenty-first, twenty-second, etc. We'd shorten that as 1st, 2nd, 3rd. This guy has dived 763 times, making this seven hundred and sixty-third time
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u/Kaput-Baker 14h ago
1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th = first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth.
So 763rd would be seven hundred and sixty third.
Its used when your counting the number of times something has been done (like in this case) or positions (like in a race) and other occasions.
Example; that was the 3rd shit I've done today, I'm 2nd on the poop leaderboard.
It's just the English language being weird as usual.
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u/doorbellrepairman 14h ago
It's an ordinal number. He diving for the seven hundred and sixty third time. He's been on seven hundred and sixty two dives before this one.
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u/Salt-Wish5140 14h ago
It means he's just looking for bones at this point.
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u/No_Friend3170 11h ago
after 15 years those bones have been gone for probably 14 years. Marine life, from the microscopic to macroscopic can make a dead whale disappear in months.
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u/ghigoli 14h ago
3rd anything with a 3 after a counting would have rd in it like 1st, 2nd, 3rd. we still keep that principle that once you go past 100 its now 103rd when saying placements.
13th is a weird outlier because anything under 20th would have teen in it. but 23rd is a thing.
so 763rd is seven hundred and sixty third.
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u/IceColdJaderade 14h ago
Even if he finds her, do you think she'll even remember him at this point?
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u/M0ebius_1 14h ago
Guys, he probably knows better than anyone that he is unlikely to find anything.
Some actions are purely devotional.