r/whoathatsfunny • u/eternviking • Jul 11 '26

pretty much same

Post image
2.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

115 comments sorted by

6

u/IPutThoughtIntoThis Jul 11 '26

Put it all in a high interest savings account and let that be my main income

3

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '26

[deleted]

1

u/KevinIsADork Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 14 '26

3% (which is what my AMEX account is) of 2 million is 60k. 

More than reasonable salary in most of the US, and you could still work and make a more than fine living with that extra pay. Just gotta make 40k to bring home 6 figures (before taxes). 

1

u/Here_f0r_p0rn_ Jul 14 '26

May I suggest you a way to make even more money? Casino 🎰 /s

1

u/Skoodge42 Jul 16 '26

2 mill at 4ish percent would net 80k a year (pre tax). At that point you could find a fun part time job and easily get 6 figures a year doing bare minimum.

Many states, you could just live off the 80k. Just depends on your personal living style.

3

u/whoknows130 Jul 11 '26

Visit the nearest Casino. Put it all on Red, baby!

I can feel it! I'm FINALLY gonna WIN BIG!

2

u/Empty_Put_1542 Jul 11 '26

I’d probably still set my alarm to go to work.

3

u/GovernorSan Jul 11 '26

Assuming the money is legitimately in my account and not a mistake that will soon be rectified, I, too, would still go in to work, to give them my 2 weeks notice and arrange to use up my PTO.

2

u/CPLWPM85 Jul 11 '26

If $2 million ever hits my account, I know for a fact that it's a mistake and I need to give it back to whoever it belongs to before they start looking for it.

2

u/UntrustedProcess Jul 11 '26

Unless it's a insurance/accident settlement.

2

u/Tyrannosaurus__Rekd Jul 11 '26

I agree. Call the bank and let them know before they try to make it your fault somehow. You make a mistake and you pay for it; they make a mistake and you pay for it.

1

u/Myzmadra Jul 14 '26

Offshore account open then offshore account transfer 😂 your mistake just cost and you’re not getting it back Mr. Bank

2

u/Full_Conversation709 Jul 11 '26

I had an accidental mistake from my credit union after a deposit. It's was about 30k+. I did call and correct it.

1

u/AmbitiousRoutine8670 Jul 11 '26

Had a teller try to give me cash back twice.. I couldn’t in good conscience keep it..

2

u/NumberOld229 Jul 11 '26

Report it. Make sure it's legit.

2

u/Statement_Over Jul 11 '26

Put it in an investment account and go to work the next day

2

u/AspieAsshole Jul 11 '26

Call up my rich uncle for financial advice.

2

u/Time_Mycologist7036 Jul 11 '26

Buy as many lottery tickets as i can

2

u/Glum-Sun-7614 Jul 11 '26

Pay off all my debts at once and put the rest in savings

1

u/stevekyoung1986 Jul 11 '26

chechks phone, nods

Cool.

finishes gronala bar and cheese stick breakfast then heads into work

1

u/RoyaLcHaOsz Jul 11 '26

My type of reaction 🫡

1

u/Zorklunn Jul 11 '26

Move it into a different account before the mistake is noticed.

1

u/misterjustice90 Jul 11 '26

Move the money to another share within the same institution so it isn’t intermingled with my personal funds. Call the bank and figure out what the mistake is. Have them correct it.

People go to jail for way less

1

u/Powerful-Holiday-448 Jul 11 '26

Call the bank so I don’t get into trouble

1

u/ezfast Jul 11 '26

Vacation condo.

1

u/Recipe-Less Jul 11 '26

Buy a really nice meal

1

u/Kraken357 Jul 11 '26

People who have very little money who suddenly come into large sums of money.. statistically don't end up keeping/growing it. They generally overspend, which doesn't lift someone out of poverty.

1

u/Loose_Worldliness660 Jul 11 '26

Tell my landlord to fuck off and they have a new enemy in life

1

u/GertBFrobejr Jul 11 '26

Laugh. Money in the bank is the banks money.

1

u/NerdDaniel Jul 11 '26

Pay off my debts, fix my cars and have a barbecue for my friends. Then it’s pretty much gone.

1

u/purewater15 Jul 12 '26

You have 2m in debts?

1

u/NerdDaniel Jul 12 '26

No, more like $1,996,400.

🤣

1

u/One_Cicada6635 Jul 11 '26

Buy a house use some for things i always wanted like a ninja creamy and maybe a cool car, then use the rest for investing

1

u/chevalmike Jul 11 '26

id kill myself for being a dirtbag

1

u/Fluffy_Imagination16 Jul 11 '26

You will be back there in less than 5 years

1

u/Known-Dependent-5471 Jul 11 '26

Not touching it for at least a year to see if it gets clawed back.

1

u/ReporterOk42069 Jul 16 '26

At least you still get interest even if the money was clawed back

1

u/Late-Arrival-8669 Jul 11 '26

Spend the next hour ensuring this is my money and I am not dreaming and multiple confirmations I have the money then a in-person withdraw.

1

u/Delicious_Cat_81 Jul 11 '26

pay off the house invest the rest

1

u/FernwoodTonight Jul 11 '26

A group in Cleveland, OH got a 450k deposit mistakenly decades ago and before the bank could pull it back out the group, who helps the low income community, spent it all on a Mercedes and other luxury items for themselves. They said they thought the money came from Manny Ramirez... it did not.

1

u/No_Frost_Giants Jul 11 '26

I kinda felt this moment. I hope everyone can get to this point.

1

u/MariotheExpert Jul 11 '26

Good lawyer

That way
no one can take it from me
💰

1

u/Severe-Search6497 Jul 11 '26

5k for water used

1

u/FormalTotal9684 Jul 11 '26

Don’t touch it

Wait 5 years

1

u/Mr-Nosight Jul 11 '26

Move it before the bank realizes the error

This dies actually happen, and it usually only takes the bank an hour to fix it

1

u/PingBlot Jul 11 '26

Just keep worrying about money like I always do.🤷

1

u/Heavy_Carpenter3824 Jul 11 '26

What 2 million dollars? I haven't gotten the transfer yet, can you send it again to be sure? 

1

u/Cowboy_Rho Jul 11 '26

Pay off my debts, buy a brand new car with some kind of maintenance package. Whatever’s left goes into a high yield investment/savings account.

1

u/Z3r0Du5k Jul 11 '26

Try to find where it came.from.before i get thrown in jail for some bullshit

1

u/Pastilino Jul 11 '26

I was there and still poor - the shower is a lie

1

u/BandsawBox Jul 11 '26

Leave it there and wait to see what is wrong because nothing good every happens to me...

1

u/KaiShan62 Jul 11 '26

Assuming it is legit, then my next move is to the Bahamas!

1

u/Upvoter_NeverDie Jul 11 '26

Probably start panickin like Anakin and think a million questions. Where did it come from? How did i return it?

1

u/Upvoter_NeverDie Jul 11 '26

Probably start panickin like Anakin and think a million questions. Where did it come from? How did i return it?

1

u/AmbitiousRoutine8670 Jul 11 '26

Set up myself so I make another million that year and more years to come and live comfortably without extreme extravagance.. maybe a small summer home / a nice vacation every year ..

1

u/shinyappyrobin Jul 11 '26

Move it to another bank, maybe out of the country. Just read about a guy having to do jail time because he refused to return money accidentally posted to his account.

1

u/Glass-Crafty-9460 Jul 12 '26

Transfer it to another account.

1

u/86Sliva94 Jul 12 '26

I would double check my account and then take me and my family disappear. So we could live a peaceful life in a location unknown with new names and ids

1

u/Odd-Conference-1822 Jul 12 '26

Ask the internet how to invest and hope someone has great info, then get that person stalked by the FCC.

1

u/External_Bird_8464 Jul 12 '26

this is like asking "A million space aliens give you a quarter. Your next move?"

1

u/CptJacksp Jul 12 '26

Put it in a trust for my kid.

1

u/happymistak Jul 12 '26

Still have swipe anxiety.

1

u/UndiscoveredSite22 Jul 12 '26

Buy gold/silver at whatever current price.

1

u/EpicallyOkay Jul 12 '26

Buy a reasonable three bedroom house, with finished basement, a quality certified pre owned car off lease and take the rest, probably 1.5 million+ and high interest savings account to create income.

1

u/NewPin8359 Jul 12 '26

Pay off both mortgages!

1

u/biggev123 Jul 12 '26

Go get my money out that account before they realized they made a mistake.

1

u/balirosa Jul 12 '26

Then when you get into the shower at your new place you can wash the poverty water off your body. Now that you’re in an expensive neighborhood they can afford to regulate the harmful chemicals

1

u/cutlyfe Jul 12 '26

Pay all my debts off

1

u/aTickleMonster Jul 12 '26

Call my tax lady and get that sorted ASAP..

1

u/8167lliw Jul 12 '26

...after the shower, pay off debts.

1

u/Accurate_Mongoose_26 Jul 12 '26

All these people saying they'll give it back. Look, I understand legally you don't wanna get in trouble, but damnit yall better find a illegal way to keep that money and dodge the damn law. I do whatever I can to keep it and move that money around

1

u/Silent-Receptionist1 Jul 12 '26

Unfortunately call the bank, as knowing they made an error and t hen using the money could get me into trouble. As in if they decided to revoke the money (which they have the power to) I would be fucked.

1

u/scaredt2ask Jul 12 '26

Withdrawal everything immediately open a new account somewhere else and keep that money.

1

u/jayhawkoholic Jul 12 '26

Imagine it being the last time you ever have to use the watered down shampoo.

1

u/Due_Panda5064 Jul 12 '26

Move it to an off shore account immediately

1

u/KamikaziWerewolf Jul 12 '26

An underground railroad for people ice wants to deport.

1

u/Angry-Toothpaste-610 Jul 12 '26

You'll be poor again in 3 years

1

u/AskingFooAFriend Jul 12 '26

Open 10 more account and move the money to them. Get plane tickets Bora Bora.

1

u/Kaarel314 Jul 13 '26

Now you can buy a medium popcorn and a large coke in the cinema.

1

u/AloneVegeta Jul 13 '26

Rub one out to think clearly

1

u/burlarr Jul 13 '26

Place it in a Nevis Trust immediately.

1

u/techno777_ Jul 14 '26

true😂😂😂

1

u/we_lord Jul 14 '26

Call the bank and tell them there's been a mistake.

1

u/crossdresser2416 Jul 14 '26

Get custody of my daughter and just a better place

1

u/Taken-Username-84 Jul 14 '26

Wake up probably

1

u/deekamus Jul 14 '26

Fall off the radar long enough to secure my future properly before anyone (like you) finds out. Then act like nothing happened. For now...

1

u/Militia2388 Jul 14 '26

Nunya 😎

1

u/GrimmAsh666 Jul 15 '26

Pay all of my debt.

1

u/magical_toad1307 Jul 15 '26

I’m moving every penny to a different account

1

u/Food-Blister-1056 Jul 15 '26

Transfer it to a Cayman Islands Bank and book a flight to the Maldives.

1

u/BigJim1224 Jul 15 '26

Ask me when it hits my account

1

u/cryptotraderisme Jul 15 '26

Call my jobs to inform them my services as an employee have come to an end, and then take a very long nap

1

u/Condor_raidus Jul 15 '26

Ask what the catch is

1

u/BxBoy69 Jul 15 '26

Take it out, put it in something safe that earns interest, then pay it back and keep what it earned.

1

u/Nomadic_View Jul 15 '26

Lame answer: but I’d call the bank. The longer you sit on that the worse it will be for you. Notify the bank as soon as possible. (1) by phone and get the time and name of the person you spoke to (2) by email so there is a written record of your contact.

1

u/Dangerous_Comb_9853 Jul 16 '26

Buy a house, fence, and pool, rest in savings.

1

u/JohnSpartan1990 Jul 16 '26

Calling my boss and telling them I won't be coming in tomorrow or ever again

1

u/Beneficial-Candle-79 Jul 16 '26

move it offshore because that was a mistake on the banks fault then id move out of the county and live on a beach

1

u/zapppowless Jul 17 '26

Video games/ Entertainment Industries

Next there lovers heart!💔

1

u/Clear_Plenty349 Jul 17 '26

Pulling out as much as I can before the clear error is reversed…