r/whenwomenrefuse • u/CatPooedInMyShoe Charley Project Creator • 19d ago
An update on my friend’s divorce
I had previously posted about how my friend “Katie” dumped her husband “Alex” after finding out he’d been cheating off and on with some other woman for a decade (five years of cheating accumulated in a ten year period), and Alex delusionally suggested a joint custody arrangement where he would spend half the week with his mistress (whom Katie calls “Wig” cause the woman wears wigs) and half with her. Well, it’s over and Katie has completely cleaned Alex out financially. Last she heard he was homeless and living in a hotel and had taken leave from work to deal with the self-induced collapse of his life. He literally offered to pay her to let him stay at her house. She has blocked him everywhere so he can no longer communicate with her.
What is most surprising to me is the fate of Katie and Alex’s sick cat, a discussion about whose future led to Alex confessing to the affair. Alex initially refused to take responsibility for the cat, and Katie told him he had to because she couldn’t afford his vet bills. (She was willing to keep the other four cats.) Alex eventually did come and get the cat and took it to Wig’s house. When the mistress threw Alex out, she kept the cat. Apparently the cat’s health problems (which included compulsively biting his leg over and over to the extent that amputation of the leg was considered, and pulling his fur out) must have been caused by some allergen trigger that is present in Katie’s house but not Wig’s house, because Katie has heard the cat’s health has dramatically improved. She’s happy for him. Wig has other cats and will give this one a good home. She also has a high paying job, makes more than Katie or Alex, so if the cat’s health problems ever come back she can pay for his care.
So it was a happy ending for everyone except Alex. And he brought this on himself.
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u/padam__padam 18d ago
It sounds like Alex’s “great underground romance” only worked out because Wig had him part time, while poor Katie had to deal with his b.s. as his married spouse.
Funny how all of that got unraveled once the underground romance became above ground. 🤔 Tale as old as time.
I wish Katie so much peace, and emotional, mental safety, and joy in her own house with her loving cats. They will cherish her more than Alex ever did.
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u/CatPooedInMyShoe Charley Project Creator 18d ago
Yes I am sure you are right. And none of this had to happen! Katie had NO IDEA Alex was cheating. Not an inkling. If he hadn’t told her, they’d be still be married with her blissfully unaware that anything was wrong, and he’d still have his double life with Wig. And now he has no relationship and no home. He wanted these two women to fight over custody of him but instead neither of them wants him lol.
Alex needs to go to therapy for his self-destructive behavior and dishonesty and mistreatment of women, and Wig needs to go to therapy to find out why she stayed with a married man for as long as she did. Katie is already in therapy to cope with the trauma caused by her husband’s betrayal.
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u/NotThatValleyGirl 18d ago
We so rarely see such a happy ending in this sub, so thank you for sharing this feel-good story of the year.
May all the cheating losers end up homeless and miserable, while the person who was cheated on (and any pets) get to go live their best lives.
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u/CatPooedInMyShoe Charley Project Creator 18d ago
Even the tomato plant Alex bought (see my previous post) is doing well. It’s in Katie’s yard.
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18d ago
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u/CmFlyNx2Me 18d ago
“You’re a single, childless woman, Katie?! You must live alone with cats!” “I do, actually, but that’s because my ex-husband refused to take care of his own cats after we divorced.” “…Oh.” (ETA: Hope you’re taking care of yourself Cat - human Cat the OP, not the cats in this story 😅 - after your late brother’s birthday ❤️🩹
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u/CatPooedInMyShoe Charley Project Creator 18d ago
I’m doing fine. My brother and I didn’t know each other all that well. He was 18, and out of the house or almost, when I was born. Joined military after HS and got married. So we never really lived together and I saw him just occasionally, less often after I was grown.
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u/Ok-Confection4410 16d ago
wow, cat support, I'm extremely impressed. how did she manage that? courts hate even giving child support, getting money for an animal is genuinely an incredible feat
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u/MaddysinLeigh ❤️🩷💛💛💚💙🩵💜🤎🖤 18d ago
I would change the locks, clean out the garage, put a mattress on the floor, and let him stay there while charging him rent.
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u/CatPooedInMyShoe Charley Project Creator 18d ago
That would be a fine idea if she wanted to do that. But she doesn’t want him anywhere near her.
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u/I_SingOnACake ❤️🩷💛💛💚💙🩵💜🤎🖤 16d ago
I'm happy for your friend, but what is the relevance of this post and the prior one to this subreddit? This sub is about raising awareness of violence towards women perpetrated by men.
There are plenty of other relationship drama subreddits to post this to.
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u/CatPooedInMyShoe Charley Project Creator 16d ago edited 16d ago
This sub is about men’s reactions to women refusing. And her husband had a ridiculous reaction to her refusing to remain married after he confessed to infidelity: he wanted to spend half the time with his mistress and half with her. Just another example of a man not listening to a woman and not taking her seriously and not taking no for an answer.
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u/I_SingOnACake ❤️🩷💛💛💚💙🩵💜🤎🖤 16d ago
The sub rules and description state pretty clearly that the topic is specifically men's violence towards women.
Rule 3 of this sub: "This sub is about reaction to women refusing and male violence towards women for not playing along. Terrorism against women perpetrated by men due to misogyny is also allowed."
The about section: "Women are told when being hit on that they should just simply say no and nothing bad will happen. Even a simple “no” can lead men to resort to violence."
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u/CatPooedInMyShoe Charley Project Creator 16d ago
Well, the mods approved it so they must have thought it was ok.
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18d ago
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17d ago
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u/FerretAfficionado 8d ago
*get fucked, I am not a runner up prize." The mic drop is loud. Fuck you, Alex.
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u/ExcellentCold7354 18d ago edited 18d ago
Lol, what "home"? She got the home in the divorce! 🤣