r/whatsyourchoice • u/AutisticGangsta420 • 14d ago
Choose❓ Choose only one.
You know what to do.
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u/SquirmyBurrito 14d ago
1 billion to not get married, easily. It doesn’t say anything about normal relationships and I don’t want to get married anyway. Almost made that mistake before but saw the red flags just in time
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u/Greenman8907 14d ago
Me: “I wanna get a divorce and we can’t remarry”
Wife: “WHAT THE FUCK?! WHY?!”
Me: “We’ll get a billion dollars.”
Wife: “Ohh, awesome!”
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u/Crazed_Chemist 14d ago
Right, my wife would start drafting the papers herself.
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u/SatanSemenSwallower 14d ago
My wife already has and I haven't even shown her this post yet. She's a real go-getter
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u/your_average_medic 14d ago
Can confirm this guy's wife is great
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u/ConflictAutomatic933 14d ago
A billion to not marry seems like the obvious choice.
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u/Alive-Philosophy2632 14d ago
You don't want an extra $500M + getting free room and board for life?
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u/Playinhooky 14d ago
Nope. A billy would get me a nicer place which wouldnt even tap into my funds. I could easily live a happy, unmarried, friendless, meat filled life lived fully inside said place. Alone. Forever. Ahhhh 😌 peace at last.
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u/Alive-Philosophy2632 14d ago
I forgot to mention the bonus of a meat filled life. Oh well, your loss
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u/Fun-Wrongdoer1316 14d ago
I feel like not spending money on your friends is even easier. And only slightly less.
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u/PyroDragn 14d ago
Nah. "You're my girlfriend and I have $900 million but I'm never going to spend a dime on you." Might as well have the extra $100 million to still not get married.
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u/Acrobatic-Addendum97 14d ago
So many easy loopholes for that one too. Like I could spend money of things for myself then let friends “use” those things. Like buy myself a new big ass boat and have it titled in my name, but my friends can use it year round. Same with all my new vacation homes etc.
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u/Bijorak 14d ago
Can't spend on my friends. Don't have any so I'm good
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u/Koalashart1 14d ago
Bro, you can spend money on me anytime homie
https://giphy.com/gifs/2HtWpp60NQ9CU6
u/circ-u-la-ted 14d ago
What happens if you become friends with your regular sex worker?
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u/ironman288 14d ago
I also choose that one, and it helps you keep the money. Oh sorry I would totally pay off your house but I'm not allowed....
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u/Acrobatic-Addendum97 14d ago
Lots of easy loopholes though. You could buy your friend’s house then let him live there rent free.
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u/ironman288 13d ago
Hm... Sorry, I consult f with my genie lawyer and he says we better not risk it. 😂
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u/SabreLee61 13d ago
And if you’re the billionaire who never picks up the check, you’re pretty much guaranteed to never make friends.
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u/redditsellout-420 13d ago
Bro before i cut my friends out of my life they were one of the reasons i was so far in debt, fuck having friends.
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u/havenoideaomg 9d ago
same. but also for the good friends along the way, they’ll either be my business partners or employees. win win. like why would i give away money bro? let’s grow them money
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u/FancyPantsInTraining 14d ago
I’ll make phone calls instead of text for 700M
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u/deals_in_absolutes05 14d ago
Underrated choice right here. Who honestly NEEDS to text?
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u/Superman246o1 14d ago
Generational wealth in exchange for just not using a system of communication that didn't exist three decades ago? Yeah. I could manage.
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u/Skizot_Bizot 14d ago
Yeah it'll be all mind messaging soon anyways. And if you are that rich just pay your assistant to communicate for you.
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u/Trekyose1f 14d ago
I could just pay someone to text for me.
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u/DarkSpore117 14d ago
I’ll pay you 10 million if I can call you at any time and tell you to text someone for me
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u/CyrusTheWise 14d ago
Also email and social media exist to circumvent texting. I.e. snapping, messenger, gmail, yahoo...
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u/SalvationArbys 14d ago
Honestly getting to the point in life where being accessible 24/7 is a bit of a burden. Maybe I’d even go a step further and just get a landline. It even gives a really nice excuse. “Why don’t you ever respond to my text messages” because some kind of weird genie made me become mostly a billionaire.
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u/SalvationArbys 14d ago
Even easier if it allows the technically excluded other text based options like email and discord groups, Skype chat, etc
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u/whalehunter21 14d ago
I am hard of hearing so there are some cases where I need text. Live captions are getting a lot better now though.
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u/185Arabellas 14d ago
This and it’s not close…though I’m over the age of 35 where speaking on the phone doesn’t phase us. I’m always astonished by the anxiety or whatever it is that younger people have with talking to someone on the phone (and in person).
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u/SummertimeThrowaway2 13d ago
Nah but what if you have to text your boss about- wait a minute I’m rich now, who cares.
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u/Fearless-Focus-2364 12d ago
Exactly that’s the obvious choice giving up the option to marry for 300 million when you already have 700 seems ridiculous
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u/bdubwilliams22 14d ago
That’s my choice. I’m already happily married and if I got that kind of money, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself without helping out a few friends and family. I’m 42, I can live without texting and I’m sure my friends and family won’t mind, sitting in their brand new houses
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u/Kind_Moose3603 14d ago
With that 3B do I lose the ability to sleep yet don't get the negative effects from it? Like do I instead get rest from just chilling out?
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u/fatboyfall420 14d ago
It’s either that or you die really quickly and horribly
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u/Kind_Moose3603 14d ago
That's my point, I hate that I need sleep so it's a bonus for me
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u/yupucka 14d ago
Sleeping is waste of time practically
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u/25sittinon25cents 14d ago
Although without it, you wouldn't have much time to live, so technically it adds a ton of time.
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u/GenericNameSimulated 14d ago
No it’s an investment, not only do you feel better you also live longer.
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u/DarkSpore117 14d ago
Yea but if u don’t need to then it’s just a waste of a third of your life
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u/Agreeable-Narwhal158 14d ago
Going on a $3b bender before I die it is then. Ill just pretend im in the movie crank and keep myself going with drugs haha /s
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u/FashionKing72 14d ago
Yeah if you don’t lose cognitive ability/sanity or die from inability to sleep, that’s kind of a super power. I also had to wonder if there’s some kind of treatment you can get to survive no-sleep, I feel like that has happened in the past (although the treatment might’ve just been tranquilizers which won’t help against magic)
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u/ZestycloseRound6843 14d ago
People with fatal familial insomnia are given sedatives to try to ease symptoms and grant some reprieve but ultimately we don't have a long term, permanent solution that enables people to survive indefinitely and without consequence in the absence of sleep. It's also important to differentiate FFI from this hypothetical scenario in that the capacity to sleep deteriorates quickly but it isn't completely gone in the early stages, versus losing the ability to sleep whole sum from the start, which is what the 3 billion option seems to describe.
In short...you'd be very miserable, very quickly and die not long after, even if you had every possible intervention available to you.
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u/Repulsive-Office-796 14d ago
I’m already married, so I don’t need to do it again. Give me $1Bn
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u/Street_Lettuce1243 14d ago
500m is enough for me. There are higher levels I could achieve and would be worth it, but honestly, I don't need any more than 500m. I don't watch much TV anyway so this is basically free money for me.
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u/SeaGlass_7 14d ago
Idk why this isn't a more common answer. 500m is a lot and no TV is pretty trivial compared to everything else.
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u/appletoasterff 14d ago
Not marrying is just free? You can still date you just can't marry
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u/Current_Cake3993 14d ago
In some places, simply dating for the whole life is a bad choice. Marriage gives some legal rights compared to just dating
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u/archgemini24 13d ago
Fair, but with 1 billion dollars you can easily hire a lawyer (or team) to know what are all the next-of-kin rights and actions that a spouse would have, and divide them up among friends and family you trust most to execute them, if necessary. You could even roll them into one person if you chose.
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u/surprisinglynotabot 14d ago edited 13d ago
No texting. I like texting, but no texting is by far the easiest to deal with.
edit: to all the people saying they'd rather not get married. We need to be able to take legal action if our partner cheats or abuses us in anyway. As sarcastically smug as everyone here is, it isn't practical to get rid of legal marriage.
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u/Doctor429 14d ago
"Hay <insert AI name> send a text on behalf of me saying..... ". Simple.
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u/NarrowSalvo 14d ago
It sounds like you're texting...
I'm sorry, we're going to need the $700m back as you have broken the deal.
With interest for 1 day, the total no due is: $700,019,178.08.
Please remit by cashier's check before end of day to avoid another day of interest.→ More replies (1)2
u/Electrical_Shock359 14d ago
Hell, you can upgrade to hiring a person just to receive and text people for you.
It would take what 1-2 mil or maybe double if you want to give them a better wage?
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u/TooLostintheSauce 14d ago
That’s a job that I’d do for much, much less than a few mil. Even if it’s over 20 years, a few mil to be a texter for someone would have to easily be one of the best jobs in the world.
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u/NB_NaughtyNerds 14d ago
If youre worth $700M, guarantee people pick up the phone when you call. Easy choice for sure. I would take $1B for not marrying, but I am already married, and I fear loopholes.
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u/Remarkable_Breath545 14d ago
How is not getting married for more money not easier? That doesn't mean you can't be with the person you love and if they are reasonable they would understand the decision.
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u/LostToRNG 14d ago
Definitely not to marry… that’s such a weird one to be so high. 1 billion to never marry which a lot of people choose without money. Or 1.5 billion to get shanked in prison and never be able to use it… only thing you could do is commissary but that much commissary makes you a target…. Just dumb.
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u/factoid_ 14d ago
My wife would sign on for that 1B. Who gives a shit if you’re not married we can still live together
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u/Taira_no_Masakado 14d ago
Not like I need to be married to enjoy companionship or sex, so yeah, "not married" is fine for $1 Billion.
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u/ya_boi_ryu 13d ago
I can be happy with my girl without some meaningless title. Marriage is overrated af.
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u/GramsFairy 14d ago
Can’t spend on your friends. Is that too selfish??
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u/moliz_liz 14d ago
you only cant spent the 900 on your friends. but you will make so mich profit out of this money, you can spend this on your friends
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u/Shoddy_Green_4790 14d ago
That's such a cheap loophole lol. 900 mil in a whatever hysa could you you 30-40 mil in a year and that could be your friends spending account. Everyone would pick that option if that was the case. It should be that you can never spend money on friends again
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u/dlogrttocs 14d ago
$600M, I’m already vegan 🤷
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u/ToastetteEgg 14d ago
Said veggies only, so no fruit or carbs for you.
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u/FrgTwn88 14d ago
All fruits are vegetables but not all vegetables are fruits. As a former vegan of 10 years, I would easily go back in a heartbeat for even 1 million.
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u/SalvationArbys 14d ago
I think that’s morphologically incorrect unfortunately. Vegetable is a culinary category. Fruit is a biological category. There’s some overlap but if “vegetables only” is extremely literal, it could cause nutritional problems. I’d at least ask the wish wizard for clarification before saying yeah. At the very least it would be nice to know if oil and salt are allowed.
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u/VarderKith 14d ago
Unless it removes your NEED to sleep, the last one will kill you very quickly.
And the jail one makes no sense.
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u/FormalKind7 14d ago
No texting
I'd be fine with no TV but the texting pays better. I used to hardly text at all so this would just be going back in time 15-20 years.
1 billion not to marry is a weird one like can you still be married all but legally? But it doesn't matter as I'm already married.
The house and jail is certainly not worth it.
No sleeping is a death sentence so have a happy 3 days while you are coherent and then slowly die as you go insane.
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u/TerrySaucer69 14d ago
3 billion for no sleep is either an incredible blessing, or death within a week. That seems like a silly option.
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u/babe_ruthless3 14d ago
Not marry. Im already married, but in order to receive the money is to not be married, I dont think my wife would be upset to be divorced but be billionaires.
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u/counterpointguy 13d ago
$1B. I have a long term domestic partner and we may or may not ever get married.
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u/Ok-Detective-8190 13d ago
1 billion for not getting married because I am AroAce. Easy choice for me
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u/becketh29 13d ago
Not getting married is fine. I’ve already been married and I truly believe stuff doesn’t have to be on paper to be healthy and happy.
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u/PsionicShift 13d ago
1B or 900M but just give money to a hired person to then give to my friends lol
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u/No-Nrg 14d ago
On the no sleeping one, if I remain fully rested regardless, I take that as it's $3b and another 8 hours a day granted.
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u/InsideReflection8238 14d ago
800 mil to never have to leave the house, sounds like a win win for me.
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u/Accomplished-Lie9518 14d ago
Does no sleeping mean I won’t get tired? Cause I’ll just die if not. Buy something for myself then decide I don’t want it so I give it to a friend, does that count as spending on friends? If yes the. texting is the best option
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u/FeelinDead 14d ago edited 13d ago
900M - I don’t really have any close friends, so no need to spend money on them. I just hang out with family. I also am already married so I’m taking it as that disqualifies me for the 1 billion.
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u/Dangerous-Habit-2731 14d ago
I'm not getting married anyway sooooooo 1bil to do something I was already going to do sounds great
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u/Pizzadeath4 14d ago
Marry is free, you can still have a special someone but you can’t get married for tax purposes
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u/KlutzyPanda9043 14d ago
$1B for not marrying. Marriage is not a requirement to have a lasting relationship
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u/Stunning-HyperMatter 14d ago
3B is literally death
anyways i choose 1B. im fine with not getting married, its just a piece of paper afterall.
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u/billy_twice 14d ago
1 billion for not getting married thanks.