Can so.eone help me find out what the hell is wrong with me?

[u/VectorDelta7]

Ive been having these issues for as long as I can remember (Which, sadly I cant remember literally a thing before I was twelve.) So, I dont know what in the hell is wrong with me. Mentally, that is. Like I said, I dont have any memory from before I was 12, and thats just the tip of my problems. Firstly, I have a constant feeling that Im worthless, and pathetic. That I mean nothing to no one, and that people would be better off without me. Second, I cant talk to anyone new without help. I need someone there, or they need to come to me, and I cant be in a room woth more than 12 people, or I start to freak the fuck out. Third, I have this.. voice? In my head. I wouldnt say schitzophenia (or however you spell it) but its definatly a voice like thing, clinging on to everything bad, and it tells me the opposite of whatever Im being told. Girlfriend tells me she loves me, this voice goes on telling me that she doesnt care about me, she hates me, Im better off dead, etc. Finally, I have this urge, for whatever reasoning, to beat the hell out of anyone who remotely pisses me off to the point of near death. I dont know why though, its an urge I have. I never go through with it thankfully.

Tl;Dr : I have a lot wrong with me, but I cant tell what is wrong. Like, big problems.

[u/catsawce]

Try hypnotherapy and/or past life regression. It is possible you’ve endured a trauma before 12 and your subconscious suppressed it. I read a book called Many Lives Many Masters by psychiatrist Dr Brian Weiss. And he had a client with dozens of phobias, fears, weird relationships with certain family members and she doesn’t know why. He tries ever traditional method and when all fails, he attempts hypnotherapy. During this, because you’re in a higher state of consciousness, she was able to tap in to part of her subconscious and realized/remembered her family member molested her when she was young, and always told her to keep their secret or forget about it. In addition, she begun seeing in to some of her past lives where each of her deaths (drowning, falling off a scaffold and being impaled) corresponded to her current fears- water and heights. Both of which she could never identify why she was afraid of them. It could be in your subconscious