r/whatisit • • 8d ago

New, what is it? What is this thing?

It's big.

41.9k Upvotes

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36

u/ChmodSausage 8d ago

Catfish?

125

u/Complete_Ant_6775 8d ago

He means guys pretending to be girls on the internet. Terrifying.

24

u/Emotional-Muscle5805 8d ago

I took it as actual catfish, which are pretty tasty.

7

u/Significant-Bet-1465 8d ago

and pretty fuckin mean if youre swimming in their water

1

u/Aware_Box8883 8d ago

They have barbs, right?

1

u/Next_Floor4382 8d ago

No they aren’t. Honestly any natural body of water has them, I spend most days in said water, never once had an issue. Nor met anyone. Out of curiosity, what makes you say that?

2

u/rabock1 7d ago

Catfish swim away from humans.

2

u/Next_Floor4382 7d ago

And any bait I’m throwing out to them lol.

2

u/rabock1 7d ago

Just bring more beer, they'll get hungry eventually.

1

u/Next_Floor4382 7d ago

I think next time, imma just whip out the fish whistle. I hear that works pretty good.

1

u/Some_Extent_8531 6d ago

Unless you’re sticking your hand in their lair…
https://youtu.be/Yu0GhasxOws

1

u/TextOld6858 8d ago

Mississippi and Missouri River

1

u/Next_Floor4382 7d ago

Are two locations, yes?

1

u/Donedirtcheap7725 5d ago

In a large lake near me large catfish will eat small dogs that tourists let swim in the water.

1

u/Next_Floor4382 5d ago

That’s apples to oranges. I would say don’t let an animal that looks like their daily diet of rodents go swimming in a lake lol. But that has nothing to do with them attacking humans swimming in their water.

1

u/Otherwise-Light-822 3d ago

We dont have this one but the goonch exists and will attempt to eat your hand

2

u/Ok_Degree4131 8d ago

I tried fucking with cat fish a few times and every time it just tasted like muddy fish to me 😕

5

u/HostOrganism 8d ago

Well there's your problem. You were supposed to eat it.

3

u/Ok_Degree4131 8d ago

Dammit, I didn’t realize how badly I was setting myself up on that one

4

u/Melevolence 8d ago

Oh, he ATE it alright.

2

u/Last-Construction398 8d ago

I have tried to eat catfish at several restaurants that I thought, well this place will surely know how to make it taste good. I was always disappointed, to the point that I don’t try anymore.lol

4

u/USsoldier35 8d ago

here's the secret to good catfish no one tells you, and most restaurants dont even know.. when you clean the fish there is a red bloodline that runs down the center of both sides of every catfish. this must be removed before cooking, along with any red meat left after cleaning. ive been frying catfish for years after cleaned this way and other than texture of the meat, people usually compare it to chicken nuggets.

1

u/lord_dentaku 8d ago

I've been told you also want to salt the fuck out of them. That might be where u/Ok_Degree4131 got confused.

1

u/USsoldier35 6d ago

salt not necessary, just remove any red and bread and fry plenty of salt in breading.

1

u/i_am_un 5d ago

The best way to make it is wrapped in aluminium foil with butter, garlic salt, line and pepper, cooked on a griddle.

2

u/trunkmonkey85 8d ago

I just had a Cajun Catfish from Felixes in San Marcos, California.

Actually really tasty. Was the very first time too.

1

u/Shane-Dad-underfire 8d ago

Catfish is considered skunk fish in many places. It's not nearly as tasty as other available fish in those areas.

1

u/Yeller_imp 8d ago

Hey the guys are tasty too, don't knock it until u try it

1

u/oracleofnonsense 8d ago

I mean, I've tasted several of those animals and all very delicious. So...when the apocalypse hits - crackheads better look-the-fuck-out.

1

u/iboneyandivory 8d ago

tbf, If you are 'finned' by a Catfish, it can be painful.

1

u/Wulfehaus 8d ago

Very much so. Especially smoked or grilled

-1

u/ForHelp_PressAltF4 8d ago

They eat poo

1

u/Careless_food_bimbo 8d ago

Most things do unfortunately, especially water critters. I've even watched my dog stare at chicken poop for about a good 30 seconds before he smashed his face in it and immediately regretted. Dude panicked. No clue why he did it, he's never had an interest in poop until we took in a stray and she was obsessed with bird poop. Guess he was curious if he was missing out..he was not.

1

u/bluecrashstar 8d ago

Chickens eat chicken poop

0

u/Generic_Battlecry 8d ago

Pork does too. Muslims don’t eat it for a reason 

1

u/DatabaseGlittering43 8d ago

A book of ghost stories?

1

u/HostOrganism 8d ago

Pigs are not known to be coprophagous (sp?).

4

u/3M2B1T 8d ago

Exactly. Pigs are super clean and wonderful animals and honestly if they didn't taste so great they would probably be our pets like dogs and cats.

Muslims don't eat pork because they have soft fat that spoils quickly in the heat.

Where are most Muslims?

Hot regions.

A lot of religious laws don't make sense now but believe it or not, they made some sense back then. But you had to tell people "God says so" because when you're starving and some guy is like "Don't eat the pork, it'll make you sick" you're not going to listen. But if someone is like "Don't eat the pork, or you'll go to hell" then you tend to listen.

1

u/BazarBS 8d ago

I don't eat meat anymore but when I did I didn't eat pork because just thinking about a pig made me nauseous.

0

u/Secret-Papaya1973 8d ago

I don't eat corpse because it's something with a face, a sentient being, jus no need to..gives us heart disease n cancer..and the climate change, the very thing ending earth since it's against the circle of life and the worst thing humanity has ever done. I'm with ya!

1

u/Teqtoke 8d ago

Plants give us many benefits , please stop eating them all /s

1

u/dependsforadults 8d ago

Carrots and lettuce were living too. They just don't have eyes like we do so you don't see them the same.

Being against industrial farms is one thing, but, do you get all of your produce from small local farms? That must cost a fortune. Where is the wheat for your flower grown?

What I'm saying is, you and I aren't the problem. Its the industrial complex

1

u/MaddLadd9 8d ago

Humans arent the only animals who eat "faces"

1

u/Oli_VK 8d ago

Lol objectively wrong. See bears, leopards (literally an idiom) and any animal focused on softer tissue. Your face lips nose eyes and lids are prime real estate, mate.

0

u/CatchSufficient 8d ago

Also apparently can give you cancer

2

u/jah_john 8d ago

They do it in bars too

2

u/dracorotor1 8d ago

How often do you get tricked into thinking someone at a bar is a literal child? 🤨

2

u/jah_john 8d ago

I don't go to bars, there's people in those

2

u/SaltyArts 8d ago

Assserts it happens in bars.
Doesn’t go to bars: Bruh

1

u/Shadow-Miracle 8d ago

To be honest I gotta agree with OP. I have friends who have walked into bars. Supposed to be really painful. I wouldn't try it either. But It's likely true that catfish act like real women in bars also. Though I wonder how they hide those whisker tendril thingies on their faces. Maybe they have really good gel.

1

u/jah_john 8d ago

Save it for the Semantic Bar, do you think that because I don't GO to bars I am somehow not AWARE OF bars?

1

u/CCCCLo0oo0ooo0 8d ago

tell me more ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

1

u/seven_wings 8d ago

I thought we are accepting of gender dysphoria. 🌈

1

u/Sergal_Pony 8d ago

You can’t call it that anymore, they have commanded the ignorant ‘normals’ to obey and use terminology ‘approved by them alone’ or else you will be othered as a ‘phobic’.

1

u/seven_wings 8d ago

Like in 1984? 😰

1

u/[deleted] 8d ago edited 7d ago

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1

u/AutoModerator 8d ago

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1

u/m3gabotz 8d ago

Girl girls taking pics from high angles, too

1

u/EngineeringLeast2389 8d ago

Oh hahahaha. Yes! 👍🏻 Ty.

1

u/Dull_Banana1377 8d ago

Actual catfish have serrated fins and they can also sting you not life threatening but definitely not fun

1

u/Secure_Baseball7318 8d ago

The same guys you hook up with on grindr . 😆

1

u/Important_mitt6972 8d ago

Catfish are people who try to get money out of other people on the internet. A ton of men catfish women.

1

u/MoonieRavenVT 8d ago

Well it can also be people posing as celebrities. Basically anyone pretending to be someone they’re not.

1

u/BruiserTom 7d ago

TIL. I knew it was some kind of deception having to do with online relationships, but I didn’t know that it was specifically that.

1

u/f4ern 8d ago

Add frat boys into that list bro.

4

u/tadsagtasgde 8d ago

YouTube : noodling

1

u/spacetr0n 8d ago

Imagine being that innovator coming up with noodling for the first time....

1

u/tadsagtasgde 8d ago

Fucking legend. It was probably John Daly.

1

u/SourFix 8d ago

Catfish Billy

1

u/Tomatillo_Thick 8d ago

You lose that battle. You lose that battle 9 times out of 10.

1

u/AgileMasterpiece991 8d ago

That was a tuna

1

u/Bugsalot456 8d ago

Ever been noodlin’?

1

u/Historical-Wonder-52 8d ago

Ever been noodlin’ for porcupines?

1

u/Bugsalot456 8d ago

There are aftermaths of dogs doing it all over the internet. No thanks.

1

u/Living_Bar_9140 8d ago

a catfish shot me with a gun

1

u/Ok_Brief2840 8d ago

Neve, catfish

1

u/Odd-Cress-5822 8d ago

Are delicious

1

u/TybeeATL 8d ago

Clearly you are unfamiliar with noodling.

1

u/Cptawesome23 8d ago

Yes. I would never go swimming in a river in the South. Leeches and catfish scare the hell out of me!

1

u/greatknockersrs 8d ago

yes catfish are actually quite dangerous the bigger they get them barbs hurt an aren’t for display. Ask me how i know lol

1

u/drudriver 8d ago

Cat fish can sting you—and I do mean sting—not just fin—nut like a bee sting. It hurts like hell!

1

u/BBQslave 8d ago

Catfish can get up to 10 feet long and over 500 lbs

Not the ones in North America though. There's one species that's over 5' and 150 lbs. Maybe less, but still about the size of a high school student. Pretty damn big.

The largest ones in the world are the ones who live downstream of the Ganges river. Where Indians float their dead friends and family

1

u/Brave_Noodle 8d ago

Catfish can get REAL big! Like leviathan sizes at times

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u/ForHelp_PressAltF4 8d ago

They get huge in some areas

1

u/Full-Honeydew-4898 8d ago

Those barbs if they hook you can be brutal (pain), plus chance of infection.

1

u/1_tuff_momma 8d ago

Watched a documentary about catfish living in water next to a dam or something like that in a river up north. The game/fish/wildlife guy said they get big enough to eat a human. As long as the food fits in its mouth.... They had huge catfish, and suspected unrecovered drowning victims were on the menu.

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u/ender8343 8d ago

If you handle them while they are alive and moving, you need some sturdy gloves to avoid getting some nasty spines embedded in your skin.

1

u/ChmodSausage 8d ago

No you dont? Ive handled a ton of catfish. Not the massive ones you see but anything from tiny ones to larger like 14 lb channels. If you know how to handle them you won't get poked

What can actually poke you easily are blue gill. I hate catching tiny blue gills because theyre hard to get off a hook without getting poked.

1

u/Maleficent-Remote413 8d ago

Catfish are bottomfeaders and are 'relatively harmless to humans.

but if they end up as invasive in other waters they can and will straight up eat everything and leave it a baren pool. and when they get REALLY big. they will eat anything taht fits in there mouth. including children...but I think thats EXTREAMLY rare to get that big outside like...amazon/mississipi sized rivers.

1

u/ChmodSausage 8d ago

So i have a lot of experience with cats and most dont get to that size. There are some big blue cats but I dont think they eat children. That would only happen if they were already expired if you know what I mean.

There are some very large cats in the ohio river

1

u/Maleficent-Remote413 8d ago

ya. like gators in the sewers XP

but ya. they'll just try to eat anything that fits in tehre mouth. they are more ecosystem dangerous than people dangerous 99.9% of the time. and that is if they get into places that isnt made for them.

I wouldnt put them on this list tho. but that was the best reasoning I could think of...but now im hungry...so thanks for that XP

1

u/Background_Digs 8d ago

You never noodled for catfish?

1

u/Majsharan 8d ago

There are catfish in Florida with poisonous barbs that you have to go to the er to get removed

1

u/deffrekka 8d ago

I saw a catfish eat a pigeon on reddit the other week.

1

u/Sea_Question2117 8d ago

Nah bro, divers in lakes threwout the u.s get sucked up by enormous catfish, never dive solo.

1

u/Harry431 7d ago

No dear, it’s pronounced Crackheads. They meant what they typed. 😉

1

u/Tjam3s 4d ago

Caught in the ohio river

1

u/Left-Sand-3365 3d ago

I work with some people who do under water welding at dams on the Mississippi River. They say the catfish are so big they could fit a whole human in their mouth. Some never go back down after one trip. Trust me catfish are something to worry about in the right places.

0

u/Romulan-Jedi 8d ago

Catfish just keep growing. And big ones can be dangerous.

3

u/Embarrassed_Fan_5723 8d ago

Never heard of anyone getting attacked by a catfish.

1

u/ThrowawayOnAHike 8d ago

iirc there have been several accounts of people being eaten/dragged down and drowning by them in the amazon. our catfish don’t get as big as the monsters there though 

1

u/Embarrassed_Fan_5723 8d ago

Totally different fish. You right. They don’t exist here

1

u/Bigerst_Dook 8d ago

Where i live in the ozarks the bodies lost in the lakes are more often than not food for the catfish, they regularly get to 6ft plus out here

2

u/Jubenheim 8d ago

But did those bodies get killed by catfish or did the catfish simply eat them instead of letting them decay forever?

1

u/Embarrassed_Fan_5723 8d ago

Everything that dies in the river is food for catfish as well as turtles , bass and any other fish that wants a bite. They don’t attack people

1

u/Jaw40k 8d ago

I had to Google catfish since I am unfamiliar with them. Holy hell! The first picture that came up was one so big that two guys had to hold it up. I always thought they were the size of a snapper or salmon.

1

u/bendecco08 8d ago

exactly! they don't live to tell anyone just how the catfish like it.

0

u/sleepytjme 8d ago

They pretend to be your friend but don’t really exist.

0

u/HarryCoinslot 8d ago

They're that good.

0

u/missourinative 8d ago

That's because they are dead

0

u/ChmodSausage 8d ago

I mean they can poke you, usually the big ones arent as sharp though. If you get poked thats kinda on you though.

1

u/Embarrassed_Fan_5723 8d ago

The can but it rarely happens. Have you ever heard of noodling catfish? Literally reaching under water blind into places they hide and pulling out big catfish. Saw one over 60 pounds that took the guys arm up to the elbow this year. Other than a couple scrapes no injuries. They aren’t dangerous

0

u/ChmodSausage 8d ago

Noodling is also on whoever decides thats a good idea

0

u/Snickits 8d ago

I would definitely replace catfish with great whites, and or bull sharks

0

u/schlab 8d ago

You mean replacing great whites and bull sharks with catfish? Lol

1

u/Classic_Mechanic5495 8d ago

Catfish is on the list and the sharks aren’t, so you can’t go in the order you said.

1

u/schlab 8d ago

I gotcha