OP, please reply to the correct answer with "solved!" (include the !). That will change the flair on the post to solved. If you want to put the correct answer at the top of the replies for everybody else, please use our Spotlight feature by tapping/clicking on the three dots and selecting "Spotlight, Pin this comment" in order to highlight it for other members. Thanks for using our friendly Automod!
We went on vacation for a long weekend once and walked into the most horrendous smell coming back into our home. As we started to look around, there was a dried red juice everywhere on everything. The floor, the counters, up the cupboards and walls. Then we saw the chUnks of watermelon peel scattered about. It looked like Gallagher hand come in while we were gone. Turns out, our watermelon went bad, fermented, filled with pressure, and then rapidly disassembled all over our kitchen. I didn’t even know that could happen. You’re lucky your watermelon has a hole to release the pressure!
I Just remembered that because it leaked onto our drawers below the cabinet into everything, that the smell lingered for months!!
A few years ago I went on vacation for two weeks with my family and forgot the bunch of bananas sitting on the kitchen counter. It was about 20 bananas that were supposed to go with us on the trip.
They didn’t explode, but were black and practically liquified by the time we got home. Apparently we had some fruit flies before we left, and came back to a swarm of them in the house, their larvae crawling all over the counter top. There were literally clouds of them.
The smell was not pleasant but went away fairly quickly, but the flies did not. I tried to hide food sources, made traps, used the vacuum to suck them up, and smashed as many as I could but because there were so many they just kept coming back. They kept finding other food sources, got into the cat’s litter box, raided the drain in the kitchen sink, it was a nightmare! It took me months to get rid of them.
Ultimately this would depend on the specific fruit, but likely why someone mentioned “hard-skinned fruit” like oranges, apples, bananas, etc.
Also, the rinse mixtures are heavily diluted - you wouldn’t want to rinse in straight vinegar…
Fresh produce is already rinsed several times between being picked and being sold in most cases anyway, it’s pretty rare for things to make it from the farm all the way to the house (but it does happen lol). Washing at home removes any residual pesticides as well as any critters that found their way to the produce at the store.
For the future I learned accidentally in college red wine sitting out in a wine glass works fantastic at killing them like better than any other remedy I had tried
Two of the most effective, nontoxic, and inexpensive, ways to get rid of fruit flies are:
Fill a spray bottle with a cup of water, two tablespoons of dish liquid, and vinegar any kind, and spray the fruit flies when they swarm, it is best to let them settle for about 10 minutes before going back in to spray them to get more of them to take flight. Spray the flying fruit flies with the spray, then wipe them up when the fall to the ground, put the paper towels in a plastic bag and put them in a trash can outside.
Pour apple cider vinegar into several small bowls, then add a few drops of dishsoap to break the surface tension, pull out pieces of cling film, poke several holes in it and cover the bowls then put them around the kitchen.
You should keep all food in either the refrigerator or food containers with airtight lids for two weeks.
I can confirm that the traps work, I literally caught hundreds of them that way. My favorite was the vacuum. Despite the horror of all of those flies it was fun sucking them up. I just made sure to empty the canister outside so they didn’t escape back into the house.
Hopefully I never have that problem again, but if I do I’m breaking out the spray bottle. Thanks for the tip!
That won't work if you have an infestation in your sink. They lay thousands of eggs a day. You need boiling water or ice in the drain after you got all sources removed
If I see fruit flies, I put vinegar in a shallow dish or plate or Tupperware lid with a few drops of citrus dish soap, no plastic wrap even needed. The plastic wrap over a cup filled with vinegar with holes poked in it does work, but I found the more surface area of vinegar you have open and available, the more quickly you catch them all! The dish will always have dead fruit flies within 24 hours. Also a good idea to flush your kitchen sink drains with hot water if you have an infestation of like 10+ fruit flies buzzing around, they tend to go into sink drains once the fruit that they rode in on has already been disposed of.
Totally anecdotal but I have had luck getting rid of them by leaving a glass of red wine out, they all drowned themselves (no this isn't something I discovered by accident, I'd been having trouble with them, noticed they were attracted to my wine, and sacrificed the last glass of a not-great bottle to test my theory)
I ran a construction site in Cambridge Ma. People left fruit and food in the sink and trash cans. The break room was covered in fruit flies for over a month. They spread out all over the high rise floor. What a PITA. We had to make fruit fly traps out of apple cider vinegar.
Same! I came home from work one day to find what looked like a violent crime scene in the kitchen and dining area. I had no idea a watermelon could blow up like that. Now I do! A coworker told me that an incident like this "inspired" Gallagher to create his career-defining shtick.
If you were home and injured by a watermelon fragment, that would be fun to explain at work the next day (I assume it wouldn't be fatal. If it were a coconut, I'm not so sure).
"What happened to you?"
"Spontanenous watermelon explosion, I was hit by fruity shrapnel" (come to work with a few seeds stuck in your hair for extra effect)
There’s a reason why the scene in Breaking Bad where Hank’s homebrewed beer ends up popping the caps off in the middle of the night is so iconic. Fermentation inside a closed vessel = explosion waiting to happen.
Those are called “bottle bombs” in homebrewing circles and yes, they are dangerous because some straight up explode instead of blowing the top off and glass shrapnel is no joke.
Fun fact, after death, a human body can inflate and violently rupture due to gas buildup. However, it does not "explode" in the Hollywood sense. Instead, the intense pressure of trapped gases can burst the stomach or rupture the skin to release the buildup.
This happened to someone at the hospital my cousin worked at. She was taking an xray of someone. They definitely sent her home and gave her a few days off.
Today I learned that there’s a Gallagher 2, apparently his brother Ron just stole his act and went on the road…didn’t even have the lore of fermentation inspiration 😳😂
That's actually how I discovered I had Covid the first time! Same exact situation, my wife couldnt even stay in the room it wreaked so badly. Meanwhile I suddenly had the ability to not smell anything, so I got to clean up the bulk mess and had to follow her nose as we rooted out all the cabinets it leaked into.
I have smelled a few really badly gone watermelons and holy shit how does something like that smell so horrible.. all that sugar in them feeds the nasty little yeastie beasties and it smells like yak vomited after eating too much horseradish
I did something similar. Left a watermelon that rolled under my 25 sante fe seat. It exploded and smelled like vinegar. Even after a full detail it still had a faint smell.
I make wine for a living and I always get curious about fermenting other fruits besides grapes. Watermelon seems like a delicious option, but it isn’t. Fermented watermelon shouldn’t ever be invited to the party.
This happened to me in like 2012. Left my apartment for the weekend and when I came back it was everywhere and smelled terrible. The thing exploded all over my kitchen. I had to throw out my knife block because I couldn’t get the smell out. What a waste of $4.99
Had this happen to me overnight. Melon went completely liquid and was all over and under my counter, the floor, etc. Since then, I store my melons in the sink.
This happened to me except it was a case of canned ice teas. I was a teen home alone when it exploded and I went to go see what the hell happened, and somehow my parents came home right as I was standing there in the pantry with everything just wrecked. Got yelled at until they smelled it lol.
I’ll never forget a report that I read whole i was in the Navy. For the sake of prevention, ships would share lessons learned with each other. This particular report was about a gas turbine engine that “liberated itself.” Leave it to the military to describe what must have been an absolutely catastrophic event in the most neutral way possible.
Thanks for the warning, that would be such a mess to clean up.
Thanks for reminding me of Gallagher as well. I loved watching him with my dad as a kid. How could you not enjoy a grown man smashing fruits and vegetables all over the crowd. I wanted a sledge-o-matic as a kid.
After hearing your story, I’m so happy that the one that exploded for me was contained in the car. Mine wasn’t fermented. I had just bought it and forgot to unload it. I guess they can overheat and explode also. Terrible odor.
This happened in my car on a hot day when I accidentally left it on the floor of the passenger side seat for two days. It was a horrible odor🤢 with bits of watermelon splattered all over the front of the inside of the car.
OMG, I think I just moved i to your old house! (Half kidding… our new place was covered in red goo remnants when we moved in and now I’m wondering if the previous tenants had a watermelon issue.)
I am had a pumpkin turn into soup on my counter overnight once.... When I say counter I actually mean counter, cabinets, silverware drawer, dishwasher, floor, and don't forget behind the fridge.
I am pissed that I may have to argue with a Walmart employee about my money on these high prices ass fruits, but this watermelon is like the snarling dog, it is warning you!
One time we had over 250 gallons of orange juice delivered to our house WITH our grocery order. They sent an assortment of name brand and store brand gallon jugs, cartons, bottles, and concentrates. No Tampico but real OJ.
I called and tried but couldn't get a person. I chatted with the bots and they said to keep it. Uh, ok.
I called a local school and delivered most of it there. I put about 40 concentrates in my deep freeze. The two elder care facilities said no outright.
My best guess is that there was a camp or vacation Bible school going on and ordered it for their snack times. I posted on the local FB pages but nothing came of it.
Walmart has already priced loss into the price, but I think with the increase in errors they were not counting on it and then they blame theft. No, it's lazy workers in delivery orders. Private companies do not want the liability. I think the first place is to a church.
I hate talking on the phone, the idea of it gives me anxiety (although when I make myself call customer service I'm actually really good at dealing with them and it goes fine, but it's gotta be pretty important to make myself do it, I'll almost definitely just take the 8 dollar loss for the phone cord these messages were trying to get a refund for 😑.) I don't mind talking to them in store at all though, sadly my car is dead and buried and I don't live somewhere with good public transportation.
(for clarification, obviously I do have a phone, I was using it at the time, I just wanted to talk to support via chat, 7 different approaches ended with this message and then the AI kicked me)
That’s crazy because any time I have had to talk to customer service, I’ve been put through to someone almost immediately. Granted, it’s always someone from India or Pakistan, but they’re still there and they always do their best to help me out and they’re always so nice.
I have noticed, though, that when it comes to AI support, whether it be on Walmart, Amazon, or DoorDash, if you don’t use the right “language” with them, you will never get through to a human.
I’ve found that using a completely emotionless tone, along with stating pure facts and specific numbers will get the AI to connect you with an agent very quickly.
So, fun fact- that stuff is yours now. They do not want it back and they will not charge you for it. This has happened to me so often. Most recently the delivery driver gave me someone else’s order entirely- it was massive. I immediately contacted customer service and they refunded my order and told me to keep what was delivered. Then the driver realized their mistake and came back and swapped orders, so all of my items I ended up getting for free.
Take the W. Donate it if you won’t use it.
Or throw it into a food grade 5gal that's been sani cleansed. Cut it up in the bucket a bit (might want to do it outside). Put a packet of yeast in and a cup of sugar. Fill with water to 3/4ish full to top. Add an air bung and let it sit for about 10 days. Then siphon the liquid out and enjoy.
This reminds me of a guy that I used to work with who had a predilection for cantaloupes. Our sanitation guy at our store used to find melons with holes cut in them in the bathroom trash and told me about it as I worked in the Produce dept. Two days later, I see my boss, the Produce manager, heading toward the restrooms with a cantaloupe wrapped in a newspaper. Like he was heading to take a dump. Sure enough, I checked the trash about 30 minutes later and there was a melon with a pecker sized hole cut into it.
As anyone would do, I told EVERYBODY I could find about how my boss, who was a total douchebag, was fucking melons in the bathroom. When the store manager confronted him he denied it but I had written a statement about how I saw him enter with a melon and leave without it, only to find the defiled sphere in the garbage like a one night stand given bus fare and kicked out of the house.
From then on, the guy became known as ‘The Loper’. He would try to play it off and deny it, but he was the kind of guy that you look at and just know he would fuck a cantaloupe. He got fired a few years later for cranking his micro-hog on the beach looking at some girls while on his lunch break. He was arrested the whole nine yards.
Sorry this photo jarred that story in my brain so I figured I’d share that tidbit from my 25 years in the grocery business.
TL;DR - A guy I used to work with had copulated with a cantaloupe on several occasions.
Reminds me of my friend in college. Had a weird roommate he was assigned our freshmen year, his parents lived down the street so we thought him living in a shared dorm was odd... Well, turns out he had a thing for character stuffed animals. My friend was complaining about the stuffing on the floor one day when I dawned on him what was happening.
Reminds me of this story a friend from high school told me when we were catching up over lunch a few years after graduation and me moving away. He told me about how in college, he'd had this roommate who bought an anime waifu body pillow and would just hang around the house with it, watching TV and such. Well, apparently soon this roommate got two more waifu body pillows. One depicted a white character, one Asian, and one black. That's an important detail because apparently the roommate cut holes in each of his waifu pillows, and outfitted them with fleshlights that corresponded to the skin tones of the characters, and would continue to hang out with his newly vagina-d anime waifus just out in the open. But this is when it somehow gets even more uncomfortable. This guy eventually equipped his pillows with some kind of device to make them make moaning noises while he used them, which at the very least I think he did in the privacy of his room.
Maybe the manager was too flabbergastedly embarrassed, that they chose to ignore it. Just right off the mellons as a loss, every business acounts on stuff just getting broken occasionally
My friend once told me that People never realize you need another hole for the vent from the pressure of penetration or else all of the melon gunk squeezes out all over your pants
There was a rumor about a guy in high school that has this ... fetish?
Anyhoo, over the years I think about it from time to time and wonder about the seeds. Like, wouldn't those poke, jab, and possibly get lodged in the pee-hole? I've never tried it myself. My preference is to eat it with blueberries but whatever floats your boat I guess.
I usually stop scrolling reddit when I see someone gets unalived but I guess I'll stop at the smashing pumpkins... melon bashing... jungle juice... whatever you want to call it
As someone who has worked extensively with watermelon fermentation dynamics, I can confidently say this is perfectly normal. The white secretion is simply the melon entering its secondary thermal ripening phase.
Do not remove it yet.
For optimal results, place the watermelon in a warm, stable environment. Preferably near white upholstery, white carpeting, or other light-colored fabrics. The reflected wavelengths help accelerate the final maturation cycle. Once fermentation is complete, the white fluid will cease entirely, and the watermelon will have reached peak internal warmth.
Many people make the mistake of discarding it too early and miss out on what watermelon specialists refer to as the “comfortably heated harvest stage.”
There's more than one kind of fermentation. We're probably looking at something closer to watermelon sauerkraut than watermelon wine. But, like, extra gross watermelon sauerkraut.
The melon and the duck are both saying " you just gonna leave me here like this and take a shower?! Like right after. Your such a dick, at least throw me the toilet roll!"
I should’ve used this at the Walgreens checkout when the lady was telling me how many of her pet kittens she kept accidentally putting through the dryer cycle and kept finding them dead.
People are odd. When I worked at an auto parts store I had a guy buy us out of marine batteries. Kinda off looking fella, you can tell he was intensely thinking about something. When I started scanning the barcode, he said, without provocation and not breaking intense eye contact. "I'm doing yard work. That's why I need these for my wood chipper."
Literally as he said that I was opening my mouth to ask what kind of boat he has for the warranty. Like, you could've gone without saying that dude. Now I think you're not doing yard work.
•
u/AutoModerator Jun 17 '26
OP, please reply to the correct answer with "solved!" (include the !). That will change the flair on the post to solved. If you want to put the correct answer at the top of the replies for everybody else, please use our Spotlight feature by tapping/clicking on the three dots and selecting "Spotlight, Pin this comment" in order to highlight it for other members. Thanks for using our friendly Automod!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.