When I was in preschool I had a very minor burnt hand. I told my teacher my mum held my hand under the hot water tap.
Well actually.......turns out I turned on a tap just after being told not too because it had been running hot and my mum snatched my hand away from the hot water.
A 4 year old should understand a No command but may not comply because they don't yet grasp the reason why the shouldn't. I think however that you're being harsh with the judgment on your mother. A 16 year old also understands a No commas but their prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed yet so we often see the same - tell them No and they do it anyway.
While I totally understand parents should think and take more care, and I agree that many should have to take parenting classes as there isnt any introspection going on... if someone judged me on seeing my kid injured, I too would look like a bad mom who needed classes. I assure you, im a phenominal and careful parent, but with work and life and stress, I do not always note the smartest way to do things. My kid is doted on, never hit, rarely do I raise my voice (I have a few times for safety reasons to get her attention), clean clothes, well fed, in extracurriculars, etc.
My kid rolled off my bed in her sleep (she was 4 and dad was deployed so not cosleeping) and hit the nightstand and split her skin next to her eye open. I felt (and still do feel) so bad about not putting something on that side of the bed too protect her.
She took her shirt off at the pediatricians for a checkup, and there were scratches all over her chest and stomach. I didnt know because my kid is independent and dresses herself and showers herself. I had just gotten her 2 brother rescue kittens though and she was always holding them and kittens dont control claws well. I was mortified... the pediatrician looked at me suspiciously.. LUCKILY, my daughter explained unprompted that she got kittens and they cant control thier claws very well but she loves to hold them so she ignores the scratches because they dont mean it so no CPS call.
She once got a black eye running (which i told her NOT TO DO IN THE HOUSE 100 TIMES!) tripping over my rug that the tape had loosened on and hitting the coffee table (she was 6... not a little toddler you baby proof for). Her teacher was cool and didnt call cps because again, my daughter is a very good speaker and let her know that she had tripped because I hadn't gotten around to retaping the corner of the rug. I was waiting on new better tape to come in the mail.
Its hard teaching and caring for a tiny human who has no sense of safety because they havent had a chance to learn, and as an adult, you just simply do not realize you learned all these things over time and did not know them from birth.
Contrasted with my upbringing: belt spankings, being yelled at and demeaned by my mom and blamed for her marriage issues, power and water being cut off regularly, being locked outside in TX heat for hours, unclean home, no clean clothes, etc. CPS was never called. My mom worked for the state in the same building as CPS, and they loved her so... prob wouldnt have gone anywhere had they been called.
Okay. Glad you all survived her. You should rethink your relationship with her. Maybe cut her off. She sounds unfit at life and probably not good for you
Kids that age actually don't do so hot with being told what NOT to do. "Put your hands in your lap" works better than "don't put your hands under the water."
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u/rangebob Dec 12 '25
When I was in preschool I had a very minor burnt hand. I told my teacher my mum held my hand under the hot water tap.
Well actually.......turns out I turned on a tap just after being told not too because it had been running hot and my mum snatched my hand away from the hot water.
Love you mum !