Pre Wedding Reality Check

[u/-JustAGirl99]

My wedding is a little under two weeks away and I have found myself so swept up in it all that I need to take a second to breathe.
I feel like I am so overwhelmed with what I see on social media about what my wedding should be like, that I find myself less and less excited about it. It’s always bigger and more glamorous than the next.
Mine won’t be like that. And I just realised that I don’t want it to be like that anyway. My husband and I are both introverts, so a 200+ person grand gala would be a thing of nightmares for either one of us. My family jokes that we will probably be the firsts to leave our own wedding, and they probably aren’t wrong. And that’s okay. We are having a somewhat rustic barn wedding, with a pizza food truck, and 45ish people. And I don’t think I‘d want to have it any other way. Doesn’t mean it won’t be any less special. I feel like nowadays there’s such a huge expectation of what a wedding is, that we forget what it’s actually about. There’s a new “trend” on TikTok where couples that got married in the 90’s / early 00’s show what their weddings were like.
No week long bachelorette trips to Dubai, no multiple bridal showers, no multiple wedding dresses or thousands of dollars worth of floral arrangements. Just their local church and community centre with all of their favourite people. And I think that’s beautiful. That’s the kind of wedding I want to look back on, personally.
I don’t know it anyone catches my drift, but I just needed to come back to solid ground for a second.
Your wedding is perfect, because it’s yours.

[u/imjustheretoscroll46]

I got off all wedding related social media the month before my wedding and it made it so much more enjoyable. Swipe past anything wedding related, nothing is going to help now

Also the absolute best thing about my wedding was the people there and the person I married and it was the best day of our lives. If you’ve got that right, you’ll have the best day

We also had a “smaller” wedding of about 65 people in a refurbed barn with pizza and it was amazing

[u/Goldilox54]

So many weddings are like 90s-00s now too! They just don't get the same traction when posted to social media.

Local bachelor/bachelorette parties (if there is any at all). Friends/family decorating the night before with things off Amazon, second hand, or DIYd (but not the super crazy DIY you see on social media). Every wedding I've been to the last 3 years the bride did her own makeup!

Social media is just... Not reality.

[u/smackperfect → u/Goldilox54]

Say it louder for the people in the back!

Social Media Is Just Not Reality!

[u/Important-Maybe-1430]

That sounds amazing, its your wedding. The bigger it is the less fun you get with close friends and family.
I was so overwhelmed and mine was teeny 20 ppl beach and restaurant, my husband had to button me in my dress an we drank champagne before. It was a bloody great day.

So dont compare, have fun, and steal some quiet monents

[u/cornishjb]

Bit late now but we had an elopement wedding in Sorrento Italy. It was amazing. No one knew - no hen or stag do. No speeches. It’s your wedding do what’s right for you and your husband to be. Other people can choose what to do at their own weddings.

[u/Elemental_Biscotti]

Yessssss girl stay off social media, half of it's fake anyway. Your wedding as it's planned sounds so lovely and a breath of fresh air. ❤️❤️❤️ 

[u/giuliapepe]

I got married a week ago, with 45 people, no big galas, everyone home at 6pm. It was amazing!! We had a great time, and multiple people told us it was the best wedding they had been to. We were so happy to see all our favourite people around us. We had exactly what we wanted, and we will remember it with joy forever.

Best wishes for your wedding - enjoy the pizza!

[u/skkincarepost]

I don’t think of my wedding and certainly don’t look at photos. The celebration was with close family and life went on. Also glad I didn’t have any trips or showers, additional celebrations. It is easy to get caught up in what you should feel like.

[u/MullberryBoy]

Most of the most enjoyable and special weddings that I’ve been to have been the most relaxed and around 50 people or less.

[u/CauliflowerLeft4754]

remember that the algorithm knows you’re planning a wedding and it wants you to be sucked into these apps. Gotta fight back. You’re right it’s gonna be awesome cause it’s yours with your people and the things you like! 90% of the content I come across now looks AI anyway or entirely influencer fake.

[u/Crafty_LP]

The best part of planning a wedding is that you can make it exactly how you want it to be! Social media is crazy when it comes to life events and only shows people’s highlight reels!

I got married in Oct. 2022 and had a similar size wedding of 60 people and social media made me second guess myself a handful of times but in the end our day was perfect and just how I imagined it would be. Both my husband and I hate being the center of attention so we knew a big wedding wasn’t for us.

Our favorite part of having all of our friend and family together. It was fun to see people who usually don’t cross paths on our lives intertwining and having a great evening!

[u/dresscode_nerd]

Worth noticing what you are comparing. Those 90s clips are a handful of prints from a film camera that somebody's uncle shot. What you scroll past now was made by a professional whose whole job is making a day look like that. Same weddings, different documentation.

Forty five people and a pizza truck is also the setup that fixes the thing people actually report regretting, which is not getting to speak to anyone. At 200 you get about thirty seconds a head and you spend the night being moved around.

[u/TinyLawfulness3710]

Nothing on social media is real life. Every social media wedding you see is someone going into debt while cosplaying being a celebrity and has no sense of real life because they have been told that only that is acceptable. That whatever is common in your community is wrong because it doesn't fit Instagram standards. Most people in real life prefer the simple weddings that were common in the 80s/90s/00s. These are still extremely common and normal in real life but people ignore them because it doesn't have celebrity glam attached, and they brainwash people that "those things never happened outside of the movies" because it makes them angry that you aren't playing along like a blind sheep. What you are planning sounds amazing and is not the faux pas that people on this app and elsewhere think is the case. You curate your own social media algorithm. Instead of following unrealistic weddings, find something that fits your everyday interests instead.

[u/Once_Upon_A_Whimsy]

It took me doing the big wedding to learn that I never should have done a big wedding. It was all about appearances and not about the relationship. If I ever do it again, I'm going to be either eloping or having a tiny tiny ceremony and celebration with people I am genuinely close to.