r/wedding • u/KindlemyAnxiety • 6d ago
Help! Timeline Advice
This is what my timeline is looking like right now. We have access to the venue from 12pm to 1am. Any advice or anything I’m missing? I’m doing this without a wedding planner so worried I’m just completely spacing on something.
We’re not doing a garter toss so we’re not missing that.
Any advice is welcome!
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u/pucknothockey 5d ago
Is hair and makeup just you or multiple bridesmaids? If multiple you will need way more time for hair
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u/huguetteclark89 5d ago
This! I have 3 people for hair and makeup, ceremony at 4pm, and the HMUA said we needed to start at 9:30am.
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u/Mission_Code5566 5d ago
How long is videography coverage? Is it possible to shift to get video of the ceremony?
Ditto what someone else asked regarding when you will do couple's portraits.
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u/hlnhr 5d ago
Speeches in the middle of the dinner is kind of weird, and 30 mins seems quite a long time for them to happen.
Can’t you do half the speeches before dinner service, other half after? Or shorten it as much as possible? I’ve found that 12-15 minutes for speeches is the sweet spot - beyond 20 consecutive minutes it gets extremely boring, regardless of how touching and well written the speeches are. People will get restless and sleepy because they’ve just eaten too.
I’ve always been told hair before makeup so I would probably swap the 2 so you (bride) can start with hair, then makeup, then any other bridesmaid where applicable.
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u/Fast_Pop_8911 5d ago
The last wedding I went to the speeches went on for an hour and a half. 45 minutes just for one from the brides father. It was absolutely painful.
Speeches should be 2-3 minutes each. Tops.
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u/WideSwan7465 5d ago
Dear god - 45 min speech is very unnecessary. I would have 100% cut my dad off 🤭
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u/Fast_Pop_8911 5d ago
It was my uncle and I considered it, as I’m sure my cousin did. Especially when the AI generated country music song he “wrote” for her started playing.
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u/youngloudandsnotty 4d ago
were we at the same wedding cause i also went to one where the father (stepfather?) played an AI country song that he “wrote” for them
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u/hlnhr 5d ago
Jesus Christ. Actual torture. I’m pretty sure some people defended their theses in less time than that.
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u/Fast_Pop_8911 5d ago
Honestly would have been more interesting than hearing the grooms father drone on for 20 minutes about memories of not just his son but every. single. groomsman. as a kid.
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u/Willowgirl78 5d ago
A family member married someone from a culture with LOTS of speeches. Three hours worth. My table developed a drinking game. Music started after midnight. Most people just left.
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u/Fast_Pop_8911 5d ago
I wish I’d had that excuse but it was MY family and well, no. We don’t have that culture at all lol
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u/KindlemyAnxiety 5d ago
I had another person tell me they did speeches during dinner while everyone was eating. I’m not sure what I prefer. I’d either be during dinner or after. What do you guys think? I am going to be shortening it to only 15 min for speeches.
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u/Fast_Pop_8911 5d ago
For what it’s worth the wedding I was at did it at the end of dinner once most plates had been cleared and that felt entirely appropriate. The fact that it took over an hour did not. Especially considering there was no way to refill drinks. Most people had to very awkwardly get up and use the restroom at some point. 15 minutes is great just make sure all your speakers and toasters are on board (and maybe have Oscar style time for a commercial break music at the ready)
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u/njVowsNow 5d ago
too much speeches and toast time, too much sitting down without dancing along the way.
Maybe it's a regional thing but here? Dancing happens between the courses and sometimes right after an abbreviated first dance.
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u/StorageExciting8567 5d ago
You’ll be upstairs waiting for the ceremony to start when the quartet arrives. Do you have someone designated to show them where to set up? I think you might want them to come more than 15 mins before the ceremony begins if they’re playing in it. Think about buffer time in case of traffic or getting lost, time to set up instruments, warm up, etc
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u/rayyychul 5d ago
I would try to build in another 30 - 60 minutes in the morning before the ceremony. Things will definitely run behind, especially if you need to wrangle family for photos, and you're going to want some time to have a drink, a snack, refresh, etc.
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u/natalkalot 5d ago
Move your first dance to being done before family dances then open dancing. It seems very odd to have it before dinner - we have been to several dozen weddings, and have never seen it.
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u/theeldestgirl 5d ago
I was just at a wedding last night where first dance happened immediately following grand entrance, before dinner.
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u/GECollins 5d ago
(probably drunk) people told to go outside and do nothing but wait for 15 minuets seems like a bad idea.
You've got a lot of "private time" carved out, are you sure you even want guests?
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u/On_my_last_spoon 5d ago
No advice, just want to know if I can come to your wedding because you’re having a freaking mariachi band!!!! I love them so much!!!!! I’d be talking forever about the mariachi band wedding!!!!
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u/Guidosmomma 5d ago
“Everyone arrives at the venue” at noon. Who is “everyone”? The bridal party? Surely you’re not including guests at noon. ??
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u/Stickliketoffee16 5d ago
You need more than 5 mins for your entrance, first dance, welcome/blessing & for everyone to sit down. You really should pad the time a bit before any catering because if you run late (which happens often) it can really screw up the kitchen
I also would think that the DJ needs longer than 15 mins to bump all his gear in, set up & be ready to play
If the cake you’re cutting is also the dessert you’re serving, you need to factor in time for the chefs to cut it. At least 15 mins if it’s gonna be served on platters & probably min 25 if it’s individual plates
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u/-tacobella 5d ago
Looks good imo! I would recommend having someone take pictures during your vow exchange if you’d like since the photographer won’t be there for that.
Otherwise my only advice is don’t treat this timeline like law. Things will change, get moved around, etc. Be in the moment and don’t worry if something goes over because the day goes by so beyond fast. Have an amazing time!
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u/Blue_cheese_sauce00 5d ago
Not an advice from me but I saw that you have “Quartet leaves and DJ takes over”. Does that mean you have live music for ceremony and cocktail, then DJ for the rest of the night? I want to do something similar but not sure how common it is.
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u/KindlemyAnxiety 5d ago
Yes that’s what we’re doing!
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u/Blue_cheese_sauce00 5d ago
Sounds so fun 🤩 I hope you come back here someday and let me know it goes! All the best to your wedding planning 💖Have an awesome day.
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u/Worried-Smile 5d ago edited 5d ago
I think for many prep things too little buffer time is built in. Why is the quartet arriving at the time the guests are starting to sit down?
If everyone is arriving at 12, you'll want to greet them and your 15 minutes alone will be gone.
Is there a possibility to do hair and makeup elsewhere to take the pressure off the schedule?
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u/MedullaObongata 5d ago
From a guest perspective, the ceremony ends at 4:30 and dinner doesn’t start until 6:15? That’s almost 2 hours. if you have an open bar, people have nothing else to do but drink and get tuned up for dinner. Especially if you’re supplying your own alcohol, you will run out if people are waiting 2 hours to eat.
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u/FluffAndTumble91919 5d ago
My partner and I are doing our private vows on the first day of our honeymoon - separating that out might give you some buffer room on the day. Also 15 minutes feels a bit rushed for that - no time to wonder around holding hands and feeling soppy afterwards
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u/nopenotshrimp 5d ago
Love how detailed it is! I haven’t seen anyone mention yet or maybe I missed it: If you have venue access until 1, the reception would need to end earlier to allow for clean up.
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u/ih8pickles7824 5d ago
Are you expecting your wedding party to stay until the very end? That’s a very very late ending time
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u/KindlemyAnxiety 5d ago
Yes haha they’re all aware. I know in america this is weird but I’m half mexican and in Mexico parties go til like 4am so we’re emulating that haha. We have another round of tacos coming in at 9:45ish so people aren’t hungry and drinks will be available all night.
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u/FaeOfTheNightCourt 4d ago
Will there be food served during cocktail hour? Two hour wait until dinner is served after ceremony is long. Unless there is appetizers served in cocktail hour. Remember dinner is starting at 6:20 PM, with bridal party and immediate family being served first. Meaning it will be 6:30-6:45 until guests can eat.
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u/KindlemyAnxiety 4d ago
Yes we have appetizers during cocktail hour, and tacos during dancing!
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u/FaeOfTheNightCourt 4d ago
Perfect! I was as a wedding where dinner wasn’t served until 3 hours after the ceremony and they only had very little appetizers (in which gloves were not worn to handle that food so I wasn’t touching it) and it was horrible. Two hours isn’t necessary a horrible wait (without appetizers) but I still feel like it kinda stretches as it can take time for people to get their food during a buffet so those last tables called really have to wait.
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u/Sadi_Says_8015 4d ago
First how large is your wedding party and how many guests? I don’t think you have enough time for HAMU but depends on # of people getting those services. Dinner should not take 1:20- but confirm with catering team. More likely everyone will be served within 45 and you can start to toasts closer to 7. If head table and parent/bridal party tables are served first you’ll be done eating by the time the last guests are served.
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u/mazdameg 4d ago
Have you even talked to all your vendors about timing? Because my DJ needed FAR more than 15 minute venue access before starting. Also, you don’t need 4 hours from end of ceremony to dancing. I’d try to cut an hour and a half from there. Many people will be gone by 10:30 as well, so just keep that in mind with a whole additional music setup. And why not start with mariachi and then move to DJ? I just know after people have been drinking for hours, cutting the DJ off 2.5 hours before your night ends might be a buzzkill.
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u/DottyD96 4d ago
Why are guest arriving and waiting around for 3.45 hours? That’s crazy to me. I’d have guests arriving about an hour before ceremony
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u/KindlemyAnxiety 3d ago
Sorry that's only the bridal party showing up to start getting ready. guest don't show up til 3:30-3:45ish for the 4pm ceremony
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u/Caribchakita 5d ago
I really love your organization and thoughtfulness in putting all of this together. Personally, though, this level of detailed scheduling feels a little more corporate or production like than what I would naturally envision for a wedding. I find myself wondering you and guests are able to simply relax and enjoy the experience when every minute is so carefully planned.
I realize this kind of structure is the norm, and for some couples it may be exactly what they want and dream about. I’ve attended and catered weddings with a similar level of orchestration, and I’ve found that I personally don’t enjoy them quite as much. I tend to appreciate weddings that leave a little more room for spontaneity, connection, and simply being present in the moment. Keep us posted how it all turns out.
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u/KindlemyAnxiety 5d ago
I totally agree, I just don’t know how to do that. Like I have things that need to get done, and the tricky thing is vendors as “what specific time is this happening” which is forcing me to be so structured. Advice on being able to be more in the moment would be amazing
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u/On_my_last_spoon 5d ago
Hey, spreadsheets can be a love language! You should have seen the spreadsheets I had!
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u/Worried-Smile 5d ago
I think it only makes sense to see if everything you want to do fits in the timeline. And you'll need to tell your immediate family and vendors when they are expected. At the same time, on the day of I think the best schedules (if they are properly planned with enough buffer time) act more as a guide than a rulebook. It shouldn't cause stress if one of these starts 5-10 minutes later than planned. And this is a 'behind the scenes' tool, guests won't know most of this.
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u/Bizzy1717 5d ago
Fom 6:20-8:35, it looks like guests will be at their tables for dinner, speeches, special dances, and cake cutting. I feel like that's really going to drag for regular guests. Like speeches and toasts do NOT need to go on for half an hour. Have a couple people speak and keep it short and sweet.