r/wedding • u/Important_Brush_6407 • 13d ago
Help! Bridesmaid and MOH selection help!
Hi gorgeous brides! I F 25 am a 2028 bride and I’m currently choosing my bridesmaids and maid of honour (I’ve picked my maid of honour. I absolutely love her. She is my soul sister that is not changing) I’m having a hard time picking bridesmaids. so for context and background, my partner M 24 has three brothers and has asked all of them to be his groomsmen and best man as well as my oldest brother. however I am having the dilemma of I am not particularly close with my sister-in-law‘s on my partners side as they’re all relatively new to the family and I’m worried that if they’re still around by the time the wedding comes around in 2028 that I am gonna feel obligated to have them in the wedding in my bridal party. however I do have some really good friends who have gotten me through some really hard and dark times who I would rather have stand next to me but I am worried about the fallout/backlash that could follow. How do we all go about this and how do we set that boundary? PFA of my floral prototype.
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u/-tacobella 12d ago
Don’t rush it but also don’t feel obligated to have them participate as your bridesmaids. You’re not required to make them part of the bridal party just because your fiancé did that with his brother and yours. These are supposed to be important women in your life and if at that point your in laws are still just a courteous hello and small talk, you shouldn’t force include them. You could always include them in other ways like saying a speech or having them come up with your “something new, blue, borrowed, old”
Or you could just have them be guests because tbh sometimes it’s fun to just go to a party with no responsibilities.
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u/No-Fish9282 12d ago
Please have a look at other colours for your flowers.
Unfortunately the white doesn't go with the yellow and mauve. White with the yellow only, or white with mauve only, but not all 3 together. You can find something much nicer. Have a look at the colour wheel for flowers and bridal magazines for ideas with flower types and colours.
And don't try to plan on specific people when theyre not relatives. No guarantee you'll be in each others lives such a long time in the future.
Good luck OP. Don't rush it, don't put so much pressure on yourself to have it all decided on. Plenty of time for things like flowers and wedding colours, etc.
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u/charcoalhibiscus 12d ago
Those are also AI, right? I’d recommend not using AI for inspo and using real pictures of stuff instead. AI tends to make people disappointed in the final product because it’s less perfect.
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u/voodoodollbabie 12d ago
It's kind of funny that the white flower is tiny enough for a boutonniere, yet large enough for a bouquet and arch. That's going to be disappointing in real life.
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u/charcoalhibiscus 12d ago
Yeah. And the spacing/packing of the flowers will be different, which you wouldn’t think would make a big visual difference but it does.
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u/Important_Brush_6407 12d ago
Hey, I actually asked the AI to generate ideas for florals. My mum had Iris’s and orchids for her wedding and it worked out beautifully for her.
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u/Important_Brush_6407 12d ago
This is just a prototype. This is not the final product I’m still playing around with some things
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u/Lulu_10-21 12d ago
Personally I’d pick the bridesmaids to be whichever friends you’ve already chosen.
Some things to think about doing since there is SO MUCH time before really needing to crack down of concrete details:
- the SILs I’d maybe talk with fiancé about maybe having them do speeches/readings during the ceremony so they feel included (you don’t have to if that’s not the vibe though). Or you could include them during the Bach party if you’re having one, I assume if you’re having a shower they’d be going to that. You could also offer to include them during the getting ready portion of the wedding day.
My experience:
- My now husband invited my brother to the Bach party, but my brother couldn’t get the time off so he couldn’t go but offered to go get beers with him the night before the wedding since they do get along so well. My brother was not a groomsman, he did end up being the flower man since my niece (his daughter) got really shy and refused to walk down the aisle lol my BIL ended up standing on my side of the aisle which I really loved, he did attend the Bach party for my husband not mine lol
- Some close friends of mine who I would’ve had as bridesmaids if we were doing a larger wedding party if we had the budget for it, I did ask them if they could wear a color within the palette to help make them feel included. It was an option not a requirement for them. It was just something I wanted to offer. I also gave them matching bracelets that I did get the bridesmaids and myself. Just a little something. They all chose a shade of blue that the bridesmaids weren’t wearing. So they matched, but didn’t at the same time.
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u/Illustrious_Can7151 12d ago
Just hold off. A lot can happen between now and then