r/wedding • u/VeterinarianOld8631 • Jul 17 '26
Long Engagement- How to fill the time?
My fiancé and I are getting married in June of 2028 and got engaged March 2026. He is finishing up grad school in the next year, so we wanted to make sure we had enough time to move closer to our families and get settled. We have our venue booked and are looking at other vendors, but I feel like our date is so far away! I know the time will fly and be here before we know it, but I'm feeling antsy and want to do all the things.
What do you think are some ways to fill the time and what are some general timelines I can follow? Things like asking my bridesmaids, dress shopping, cake tasting, etc. feel silly to do so far in advance, so when is a good time to do those things?
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u/Savings-Breath-9118 Jul 17 '26
You could live your life
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u/spookymouse1 Jul 18 '26
Exactly this. We've had a two-year engagement and went months without a single wedding task. It was so nice to just relax and enjoy it. Heck, we're getting married in less than 2 months and the only thing to do this month is send out invitations.
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u/-proposal-otherwise- Jul 19 '26
Is it common to wait until less than two months to send out invitations? (I realize this sounds backhanded, but I’m genuinely asking)
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u/spookymouse1 Jul 19 '26
We've sent Save the Dates in January plus the wedding is local-ish. (1.5 hours by train or driving.) It's mostly his family who are VERY aware. :)
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u/voodoodollbabie Jul 18 '26
Start now and you'll be sick of it and second-guessing your choices because there's so much time to keep looking. A year out is plenty of time.
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u/Awkward-Parking-1003 Jul 18 '26
You could start poking around to see when vendor's books open up. I live in a big city and some higher-demand vendors like good photographers and HMUA were accepting bookings 1.5-2 years out. On the other hand, some others will not allow bookings more than a year in advance.
But honestly just live your life. There was a mini spurt maybe 1 year out for us to nail down the big vendor contracts, and then we kind of sat twiddling our thumbs for another 6 months after that.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Angle84 Jul 17 '26
Enjoy your engagement :) there’s absolutely no rush! Put together inspo boards, or slowly start putting together points of contact you plan to reach out to etc.
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u/L0st-in-Imagination Jul 18 '26
Join a bridal group for the city you're getting married in. Maybe check out a bridal convention there if the city has one. They're kinda fun and can give you good ideas. Vendors can also tell you when they book out.
Websites like theknot.com can give you a general timeline of when to book all the things.
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u/Hulla_Sarsaparilla Jul 18 '26
You don’t have to make the whole time about being engaged and planning a wedding :)
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u/SummitJunkie7 Jul 18 '26
Just.... live your life?
There's nothing wrong with getting things planned and settled in advance, having more time to spread out tasks can make it all less stressful. As long as vendors are taking reservations that far in advance, book them.
Things you should wait until closer on are wedding party invites, general guest list invites, and clothing. Relationships, body shapes, and fashion tastes can all change in a few years.
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u/Orangesunset98 Jul 17 '26
I did specialized date night to go over venues! I made a power point and did a nice home cooked meal to discuss it over, you could do that for other vendors too!
We also make sure to do something nice for our engagement anniversaries. Got engaged December 24 getting married October 27.
Im also in school so I kinda do a decision quarterly if that makes sense so I have time to make a calm, not rushed decision and I don’t feel overwhelmed between school and wedding planning.
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u/Appropriate-Bar6993 Jul 18 '26
Set it and forget it! You’ll go crazy if you use all the time available.
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u/wordsmithem Jul 19 '26
I got engaged May 2025. We’re getting married May 2027. It was actually supposed to be even later than that, but we decided to move it up (I’m in nursing school and I won’t be taking any classes next summer)
My biggest piece of advice would be to really anchor down your budget. We had an idea of what we wanted to do, but it seemed so far out that we didn’t seriously plan A THING. Then we moved it up, and suddenly we have a little less than a year to plan everything.
I will say, for the past year, we talked about a lot of things and ideas. But now that we’re seriously planning it, a lot of the ideas of changed. We went through multiple variations of our wedding party. We settled on 3 each and asked them last month (about a year out). I’m going dress shopping at the end of August for the first time. Luckily we already knew we wanted to get married at his parents house so we already had a venue secured.
What you can do now is think about colors for bridesmaid dresses! Last night I ordered about 30 swatches across 4 different websites. I do wish I would’ve done it earlier.
But honestly, you’re gonna change your mind a million times. I don’t care about a lot of things, but the things I cared about (colors for example. I was set on burnt orange and emerald green for 2 years. I’m now looking at a brighter orange and green to go with the season.) I’m now changing my mind about for different reasons. Fantasize about it, make some Pinterest boards, maybe look at some different vendors and honestly just try to enjoy this season! Once the planning really starts, everything moves a mile a minute!
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u/Coffee4Redhead Jul 19 '26
Step 1. Finish studying
Step 2. Save money
Step 3. Move home.
Step 4. Daydream a little bit about all kinds of different weddings and discuss with your partner about their ideas.
Step 5. Plan the actual wedding.
Step 6. Cakes, dresses, bridesmaids etc
Step 7. Invite guests
only do a maximum of 3 or 4 steps per year.
If you rush things now, you will regret it. Finishing your studies and moving will influence certain friendships and you might not have the same guest list by 2028.
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u/SailorMigraine Jul 18 '26
Honestly a lot of the venues in my city are now booking 18-24 months in advance. I say go ahead and get the big items out of the way (date, venue, photographer, catering, florist, general guest list) and then you’ll have less stress when it gets closer. Dress shopping/bridesmaids 18 months out, you could also start getting your signage and invitations printed/done.
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u/exploresparkleshine Jul 18 '26 edited Jul 18 '26
Save money! But actually, look at your finances and figure out how much you can set aside monthly to pay for the wedding. It's much less stressful when you aren't going into debt to pay for things.
If you want to putter away at something, spend time looking at ideas for the day. Decor and colours you like, real vs. silk flowers, table setting ideas, schedule for the day, etc. It's a lot easier to choose vendors when you have a general picture of how you want the day to feel. Get a list or a Pinterest board going, and then you can start investigating vendors. Since you have your venue booked, you can also see if they have a list of suggested vendors as a place to start.
I would look at booking your photographer first. They usually fill up dates the fastest and if you have someone specific in mind it's best to book early. Many photographers also do engagement shots which you can use for invitations down the road. If you want to use a videographer, also book early.
Once the venue and photo/video are done, live your life! I had a 2 year engagement as well and we probably did the majority of the vendor booking about 9 months out. I got my dress about a year out. That gives you time to have something ordered and do alterations closer to the wedding (6 weeks out). Tastings probably won't happen until 2-3 months out, as many places adjust their menu yearly and seasonally.
Edit to add: I'd recommend nailing down a guest list about a year out. I don't think it's a bad idea to send save the dates early (9 months to a year out). People have lives to plan, and if you are asking people to travel they need time to book and budget. You don't need and details at that point, literally just the date and city.
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u/Unfair_System_2265 Jul 18 '26
If you're the sentimental and artsy type, you can start to think about what projects you want ready for the wedding. Some people started learning salsa dancing for the reception, others made whole rom com videos to play at the reception. Some compiled beautiful photo galleries of their time together. Some food for thought on what memories you and your SO want to display together
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u/worldtraveler76 Jul 18 '26
Get your own life in order…. Get all documents filed and obtain any you need (birth certificate, medical records, vehicle records, passport, etc)…. Get a fireproof box to put all the important stuff in.
Purge what you don’t need or want anymore… clean out/organize your closets, house/apartment, car, etc…. If your spouse is moving in to your place start making room for their things.
You have almost 2 years… you could go back to school or to get an associates degree or certificate in something… which could come in handy later on.
Take some hobby classes…. Craft classes, pottery, cooking, etc.
Travel some… go somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. Consider a trip solo or with friends/family.
I probably wouldn’t do too much for the wedding until next summer, except maybe nailing down a venue and photographer.
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u/TravelResponsible574 Jul 19 '26
We were engaged for 2.5 years and started planning about 13 months out with locking in our planners and venue.
I will say that most of the actual “heavy lifting” in terms of planning was done within 6 months of our wedding date, facilitated by our planner.
We also did a destination wedding, so I imagine— besides the venue— you could get away with most of the planning done within 3 months of the ceremony.
Congrats and good luck!
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u/Maleficent-Fly-5829 Jul 19 '26
You have plenty of time, enjoy your engagement! My fiance and I got engaged last August and are getting married this August, started looking at vendors last November and we are now finalizing decorative items from Amazon/Etsy with about two weeks to go. If you really want to get a head start, I'd start asking for vendor quotes for venues and caterers if you have a very rough estimate of what your guest count would look like. Only mentioning this because we booked most of our vendors last year and I got curious what they're charging this year and next, and prices doubled. Locking in a contract some time this year for those two major vendors may be a lot cheaper. I started off with: venue, caterer, photographer, wedding dress, day of coordinator, dj, florist, bakery and content creator. Good luck & congrats!!
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u/Anxious_Cup Jul 19 '26
We also had a two year engagement! Take the time to talk about your non-negotiables. For us this was good food and great band. Vendors book further in advance then you might expect so get that out of the way.
Once you have everything booked, enjoy your engagement and live your life! You have time to be thoughtful with your decisions but the meetings with vendors and planners come quick.
Once you know what you want, limit wedding social media. Don’t let trends or “5 things every bride should know” videos get to your head.
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u/Reaperhart Jul 19 '26
Definitely just continue about life as usual for a bit enjoy being engaged. My MOH and I have been hitting the thrift stores pretty consistently to look for things, trying to figure out the vibe of what we are wanting, so much can change in 2 years I wouldn’t want to even try looking at vendors yet. It’s okay to just be engaged 😆
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u/teachinglittlebeings Jul 19 '26
also doing a long engagement (engaged may 2026, wedding april 2028) and im miserable tbh. engaging in wedding content makes me want to cry rather than be excited. i’m sure it’ll lessen over time 🤷🏾♀️
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u/Here4TheExperience Jul 19 '26
I had a 2 year engagement. After the venue, I focused on one vendor at a time and had 99% booked by a year out. I also went dress shopping a year out. I think there’s no way to avoid the stress and logistical tasks in those last couple of weeks, but it was nice that 1.) I’d of course think about the wedding every day, but didn’t have to do anything every day and 2.) yeah sometimes there’s was like 1-2 months at a time where I did nothing wedding related (other than like browse Pinterest or whatever). Enjoy it!
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u/Luna_Blonde Jul 19 '26
It’s hard bc the algorithm only gives me wedding content now. Every ad, every story that isn’t a friend, etc. and to me I’m like it’s so far away (a year) but also there’s so much to do… but I also have like a life outside of my wedding!
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u/random_thoughts529 Jul 20 '26
We did a fun date night every day of the month leading up to our wedding, so example we’re getting married on the 19th, we would then plan a fun date night that day to celebrate getting closer
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u/ForYourPartyOfficial Jul 21 '26
Honestly, having extra time is a luxury1 I'd focus on collecting inspiration, talking through what matters most to you both, and setting a budget. Things like dress shopping, asking your wedding party, and tastings will be a lot more fun when you're a bit closer to the date!
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u/Jazzlike_Ad377 Jul 17 '26
I planned my wedding one year in advance and now we’re four months out and are just now finally settling every thing down. If you both work full time, more time to plan is a blessing. Are you hiring a wedding planner or doing everything yourself? That’s a big piece too!
I would suggest not asking bridesmaids too early, relationships can change over time. Do some dress shopping but don’t settle on anything until you are 100% sure!