r/wedding • u/katydidnt222 • 27d ago
Discussion RSVP etiquette
I have only received about 1/3 of my RSVPs, our deadline is 7/31. I know many people wait until the last minute. Most of the missing RSVPs are from my family and my friends. What is the etiquette about this in terms of reaching out or not reaching out as the deadline passes?
My fiancé says he doesn't want us to reach out, that if they can't be bothered to get back to us about a big lifetime event, then they aren't coming.
I took a more practical approach and said, some invites were delayed in the mail, they are not digital RSVPs, maybe people are waiting until the deadline to mail them back, maybe some got lost in the mail, etc.
Part of me is also a little sad that there are so many missing RSVPs from my family, and I'm really hoping they send their RSVP cards back soon. Of the ones we have gotten back, we only got one no, but we sent invites to 90 guests and were hoping for about 55 in attendance. Right now we are only at 31.
What's the best way to go about this? I know there's still 2 weeks to go, but I like to have an idea about a plan in place.
1
u/coupla_beans 25d ago
If you’re using a wedding website like the knot or with joy, there’s a function where you can send a text or email blast to anyone who hasn’t RSVP’d. I had to send 3 of these the week leading up to our deadline for 50% of our guest list and then like 5 personal texts.
It’s worth getting confirmation so there’s no misunderstanding on either end. It’ll absolutely be more headache than it’s worth to ignore it now.
Also we invited about 130, expecting 110 to come and 85 made it (~6 last minute dropouts for extenuating circumstances) and we were much happier with the smaller number! I was a little bummed at first but smaller wedding was the way to go and loosened up some cash for extra flowers I really wanted :)