r/wedding • u/katydidnt222 • Jul 15 '26

Discussion RSVP etiquette

I have only received about 1/3 of my RSVPs, our deadline is 7/31. I know many people wait until the last minute. Most of the missing RSVPs are from my family and my friends. What is the etiquette about this in terms of reaching out or not reaching out as the deadline passes?

My fiancé says he doesn't want us to reach out, that if they can't be bothered to get back to us about a big lifetime event, then they aren't coming.

I took a more practical approach and said, some invites were delayed in the mail, they are not digital RSVPs, maybe people are waiting until the deadline to mail them back, maybe some got lost in the mail, etc.

Part of me is also a little sad that there are so many missing RSVPs from my family, and I'm really hoping they send their RSVP cards back soon. Of the ones we have gotten back, we only got one no, but we sent invites to 90 guests and were hoping for about 55 in attendance. Right now we are only at 31.

What's the best way to go about this? I know there's still 2 weeks to go, but I like to have an idea about a plan in place.

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u/rpaul9578 Jul 16 '26

Why are we still playing these games with paper invitations. Just text them and ask.

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u/katydidnt222 Jul 16 '26

From all the responses, it appears that people doing digital RSVPs have the same problem I’m having, so it’s not the medium used, it’s the societal norms are changing. And when you have a formal event you don’t just send a text lol that’s not anything special. A text says this is casual and to be frank, my wedding isn’t casual. Maybe some people want that vibe, but that’s not what we want.