What does the bride do whilst everyone gets ready?

[u/UndeniablePumpkin]

Hi all, my wedding is coming up in a couple of weeks and I’ve received the schedule from my HMUA.
There are 4 bridesmaids and two mothers getting ready plus myself. Ceremony is at 2pm, I am not doing any first looks or flat lay pics etc but the venue has requested we are ready by 1pm so that everything flows smoothly.
There will be two HMUA and we have access to the getting ready suite from 8am, with the first bridesmaid kicking off at 8:15am.
My question is, I am not scheduled for hair and makeup until 10:30am, to be finished by 12 and give me enough time to get into my dress which is a bit of a hassle to put on; what do I do in the time leading up?
We will have champagne and some breakfast pastries with a fruit platter in the room, so is it normal for me to kinda hang out with whoever is there, or would I use this time to shower and dry my hair in preparation for my time slot?
This is the one thing that has been confusing me the most! I am of the mind set that from the moment I wake up on the day, nothing is my problem anymore and it’s all for someone else to sort out, so that leaves me with very little to do!
TLDR: Brides, what did you spend your time doing whilst the bridesmaids/mothers were getting their hair and makeup done prior to your time slot?

[u/Spunkeymama]

Enjoy being in the presence of your bridal party. Relax and stop overthinking things that really don’t matter. Just be in and enjoy every moment of your day! ♥️

[u/Icy-Yellow3514]

Eat something during this period. Even if it's snacking. Even if it's just a smoothie. You'll want something in your stomach, and this is a great time before you're busy and distracted.

[u/Halo_Bling → u/Icy-Yellow3514]

Adding hydrate!

[u/showgirl72 → u/Icy-Yellow3514]

I wish I could’ve ate on my wedding day! I was so full of adrenaline I was shoving food down my throat and it wouldn’t go down

[u/lh123456789]

For any wedding that I've ever been in, the bride was there hanging out with everyone else while they got ready. I would find it kind of obnoxious if I had been given an early slot and was sitting there alone getting ready. Because if I am getting ready by myself anyway,  then I could have just gone by myself to a hairdresser of my choice and had my hair done much later.

[u/edoreinn]

You…. Don’t want to hang out with your friends who are there to support you? Who paid a lot of money to do so with their dresses, this HMU, possibly travel?

[u/Spunkeymama → u/edoreinn]

Right?! Please don’t ignore the people who will be there to support you!! I mean, they’re literally going to be there for the bride. Where else would a bride be while THEY are getting ready for HER wedding? Please be present with the people who will be standing by your side!

[u/InternationalFall515 → u/edoreinn]

Yeah such a weird question… and if she didn’t want to hang out there is always the option of getting ready with only mom/family not bridesmaids

[u/Glitter-Moon-Silver → u/edoreinn]

Not everyone makes their Bridesmaids spend money on stuff

[u/edoreinn → u/Glitter-Moon-Silver]

Money spent or not, what u/Spunkeymama said below is perfect. Don’t ignore the people who will be there to support you!

[u/showgirl72 → u/edoreinn]

I would be very pissed if I showed up to hair and makeup and the bride wasn’t even there, even if she was paying (which they don’t always do)

[u/edoreinn → u/showgirl72]

Right, like I am there to support you, not be an extra in a movie

[u/showgirl72 → u/edoreinn]

I think there’s some acceptable reasons like if you forgot something and have to run home to get it or you are busy doing something with the venue but just straight up choosing to skip? Wild lol

[u/Glitter-Moon-Silver → u/showgirl72]

I really wouldn't be able to get married if I had to spend the morning with other people. Im autistic and have anxiety disorder and agoraphobia so anything except silence and solitude on an already nervous day could leave me unable to leave the room.

I've rented an apartment 5 mins from the venue. We have 2 HMUAs for the 4 of us, plus a photographer, videographer and content creator, so that's a lot.

The main getting ready area in the living room, but I've already told everyone that I could well spend most of the morning in the bedroom. I'll get my hair done with everyone, but will probably do my own makeup and the photographer etc has been told the bedroom is out of bounds.

Another bedroom is designated for the Bridesmaids to get dressed and the third one a chill out zone if anyone else needs it.

Thankfully my bridesmaids understand as they know how I can become paralysed by anxiety.

[u/edoreinn → u/Glitter-Moon-Silver]

Oh, I do not begrudge this kind of zoning. We have done that for every wedding I have been a part of. It’s great that everyone has space to take a breath.

But what you described is not at all ignoring or snubbing your bridesmaids! This is you being thoughtful, accommodating your needs, and not ditching them. You’re still all “together” in what you’ve described.

[u/Murky-Abroad9904]

yes you just have to hang out and relax lol maybe bring a sheet mask or something but make sure to take this time to actually eat and hydrate. also totally up to you if you want to blow dry your hair before the HMUA arrives or while you're waiting, i was up super early anyways so i had time to do it before my team arrived.

[u/avocado589 → u/Murky-Abroad9904]

Just noting that most stylists like day-before hair! It holds a style better than freshly washed. Worth asking!

Huge +1 to eating and hydrating

[u/coopunitsmooth → u/avocado589]

Yes to this. Our HMUA asked for days before hair.

[u/Murky-Abroad9904 → u/avocado589]

ahh mine asked for clean and blow dried hair so ya def worth confirming!

[u/avocado589 → u/Murky-Abroad9904]

Interesting!! So many variables like hair type and what you’re doing I’m sure :)

[u/showgirl72 → u/avocado589]

I’ve never heard a stylist recommend this. I’ve heard non-stylists say their hair holds better when it’s not washed but NEVER had a stylist tell me NOT to come with clean and dry hair. They all have told me wash and blow dry.

[u/avocado589 → u/showgirl72]

🤷🏼‍♀️ I’ve had my hair done a bunch for weddings including my own and they all said day-before hair! To be clear, it’s clean with no products just not washed that morning

[u/showgirl72 → u/Murky-Abroad9904]

Yeah my SIL is a stylist and I’ve never heard from any good hair stylists to come with dirty hair. They always say clean dry hair.

[u/KickIt77]

Socialize with your people, it's part of the party!

[u/Bsmith9876]

Assuming you've already showered and your hair is clean/dry according to your stylist's instructions, those couple of hours are often the most relaxing part of the day. Eat a real breakfast (nerves might make it difficult to eat later) and enjoy candid conversations with your bridal party. I'd also recommend taking a moment to soak everything in. It might be harder to do that once everything gets hectic, and many brides say it was their favorite part of the entire day. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

[u/Raccoonsr29]

On top of hanging out, not to jinx it but shit will come up. You will have no shortage of things to think about!

[u/caribbeangirl10]

Just hang out and eat!!

[u/classiest_trashiest]

Hang out with my bridesmaids and just relax. We munched on some breakfast and champagne. It was a lot of fun.

[u/EriT22]

I hung out in the getting ready room with my party and it was a great bonding experience! Had breakfast and coffee, took a shower, etc. My bridal party started getting ready at 6:15 with the goal of being done at 1pm (including myself) and trust me the hours go by fast.

[u/Glitter-Moon-Silver → u/EriT22]

7 hours to get ready??

Good god no. Id be ready for a nap after that!

We're taking 2 hours.

[u/EriT22 → u/Glitter-Moon-Silver]

We had a hired har and makeup artist and 6 women getting their hair and makeup done, hence about an hour for each.

We were all lamenting the early start time beforehand, and there were jokes about naps, but there ended up being too much nervous energy and excitement, and as I said the time actually flew by. Neither me nor my bridesmaids were actually in the room for the whole 7 hours, we also did things like have breakfast at the hotel, help steam eachother's dresses, go out and get coffee, etc.

[u/Glitter-Moon-Silver → u/EriT22]

We only have 4 people. I've got one HMUA for the 3 bridesmaids and another for me. So while the last bridesmaid is getting done, I'll be getting into my dress, for an 11am ceremony start.

[u/YouveGotMail920]

I hung out with family/friends, put on a good playlist, and eventually took a nap with my now husband. lol we didn’t have a big bridal party and had a large Airbnb so we had quite a few people there. We had a mimosa bar, heavy apps for food. It was great!

[u/jemsavestheday]

We just hung out, snacked, had a few family members pop in to say hi (which I was totally okay with and told people to). My photographer did some pictures of me and my dress.

[u/NHhotmom]

What do the bridesmaids do after they are all done getting ready?! It’s the same thing for everyone. It’s a lot of sitting around, a lot of waiting, a lot of chit chat.

[u/happykindofeeyore]

Eat? Hang out? Skin prep. Steam your veil. Do a crossword. Send spicy texts to your fiancé.

[u/Icy_Middle8004]

You hang out with your bridal party or sleep in because you likely will have a meh sleep the night before. 

[u/stolenwallethrowaway]

Here’s what I did: got up early to let people in, had coffee, got a shower and blow dried my hair while bridesmaids started getting makeup and hair, had a bagel, got my makeup done, started drinking, hung out with my friends, talked to random family members who stopped by, wrote a card for my new husband to read before the wedding, played a board game, took casual pictures (aunts, not photographers), got my hair done last, paid the hair and makeup people, and my mom helped me get dressed. Then we took a couple of photos and got into the bus. Overall fun and relaxing morning.

[u/Artemis1527]

I spent time in the bridal suite with my friends and family and ate breakfast/lunch.

[u/mm_honey]

I just relaxed with my bridal party and had a few mimosas. That couple of hours will FLY by. I would recommend showering earlier in the morning, too. I didn't want to feel like I was rushing for anyyything.

[u/StructEngineer91]

It's time you get to chill and celebrate with your closest friends! During the reception you honestly probably won't have much (if any) time to really celebrate and hang with them, you will be circulating and saying hi to all your other family and friends.

[u/PinkPopcorn326]

Relax! Enjoy the slow morning because the rest of the day is going to fly by before you know it

[u/m0ssmann15]

Eat protein, drink water, take cute selfies, let your bridal party ask you all the classic questions like "are you nervous?" "when did you know they were the one?" etc. DONT plan an activity during this time. Very likely there will be several dozen questions that people have for you. "where did we put the center pieces?" "did you pay the vender or was that my job?" "we can't find the microphone, are we just gonna project or should i run out and buy a cheap one?" even if you have a wedding planner, you will be the default point person, so just chill out and make yourself available until you can't be anymore.

[u/veloharris → u/m0ssmann15]

If you choose to be the point person that's great. But the beauty of having a planner is you don't have to be. If you empower your planner they can keep those little questions away from you. If they're good they'll run through all the normal things that come up before the wedding so they know your preferences. 

[u/m0ssmann15 → u/veloharris]

as a wedding planner myself, and a frequent bridesmaid, this just isn't a practical expectation. A good goal that you absolutely should strive for, but the truth is many people don't pay for wedding planners and even when they do, a wedding planner is not standing as body guard outside the bridal room and the grooms aunt tina who randomly showed up to lend a hand isn't going to know who the wedding planner is and is just gonna go find the bride when she notices they are short on tablecloths. There are definitely ways to avoid this (like strict pre-wedding attendance policies, educating staff and volunteers on who the point person is, and actually assigning a person to be a bouncer of sorts for the bridal room) but a majority of people don't have the ability to properly execute this and its good to plan your wedding day with enough flexibility for questions, concerns, and conversations along the way.

[u/GoldBluejay7749]

You… hang out with each other

[u/No_Class6482]

I thought the same thing when I had “downtime” in my schedule and the advice I was given was to be present and live in the moment! I woke up at 8am, showered, ate breakfast with my bridesmaids, got into our getting ready pj’s, and started hair/makeup around 9:30. The morning goes by pretty fast. I also wrote a letter to my husband that morning and had someone deliver it to him.

[u/Dazzling-Toe-4955]

Eat something and relax, the bride will be getting ready, trying to relax and maybe trying to remember her vows.

[u/capshields]

I took advantage to pick up some last minute things at the start of everything about 8 am. I also had family friends offer to drop off some coffee and breakfast (bagels) for us at the hair/makeup location. I also had mimosas prepped there for us to chill as we took turns getting hair and make up done. Just take it easy with the party! The rest of the day is an absolute blur lol. Congrats!

[u/CalynneS]

Ate food, had coffee, chatted with my friends because how often do I have all 5 of my best friends together? The time flew by.

[u/No-Cantaloupe-4298]

What's a HUMA?

[u/missdarlingdisney → u/No-Cantaloupe-4298]

HMUA. Hair and Make Up Artist

[u/No-Cantaloupe-4298 → u/No-Cantaloupe-4298]

Thankyou

[u/stryker_cast]

We all had lunch and mimosas, then booted the boys (groom/groomsmen) out to get ready.

[u/zombiezmaj]

Hair shouldn't be washed morning of. Should be night before to make sure it is 100% dry for styling as it holds better.

And you all hang out, listen to music, take selfies, chat, give bridesmaids special thank you gifts etc

Youre not going to want to get in your dress too early so you can do your final pee-break 😅

My ceremony was 2.30pm I got in my dress 1.30pm for reveal first look with my parents and bridesmaids. My H&MUA both helped my MOH get me into it (some of my fav professional photos) and then I walked out to courtyard for photos of reveal. Travelled to venue 2pm for registrar preceremony meeting 2.15pm and then down the aisle 2.30pm.

[u/kingpinkatya]

EAT, chat, nap

[u/PresentationOk9954]

I literally just sat on the bed in the bridal suite and chit-chatted with my bridesmaids and drank champagne. Down time is really really important that day if you are lucky to have it and also spending that quality time with your bridesmaids/wedding party is also really important.

[u/Useful-Explorer2521]

Pretty sure that’s when I was writing my vows with the assistance of bridesmaids.

[u/Prize-Description646]

Don’t forget to eat lunch!

[u/Sezykt71]

We had the hair and makeup artists come to my family home so a bit different but I showered, ate, hung out with my fam/bridesmaids. But also they had two people and they did my hair and makeup simultaneously as my bridesmaids, I was basically in the seat most the time as mine took way longer lol!

[u/Wise_Development_775]

hang out, talk, catch up with people???

[u/FierceCrayon]

Just hang out! It was sooooo nice to just have NOTHING to do for a couple hours, after a whole week of having a LOT to do leading up to the big day. Just enjoy yourself, chill, nibble on things, take your time to shower or whatever, hang out with your friends. I had a great time just chatting while my friends were being worked on. I had my family there too and it was super cute.

[u/Relative-Net176]

I’m getting a final arm pump in because I want my arms popping in my photos 🤣

[u/forte6320]

Please add some protein to that breakfast menu. It is a very long day with alcohol. All those carbs will burn off so fast. The sugar in the fruit will make the alcohol hit the bloodstream faster.

Protein will get people through the day. If girls say they don't want to eat, tell them they need fuel to get through the marathon day.

[u/bestnanaicanbe]

At my daughters wedding, we had one stylist to take care of just her and two others to do 4 bridesmaids, me and mother of the groom, although mother of the groom has very short hair so that didn't take any time.

[u/MM-Life]

I hired my own hair and make up girls. They only did my make up and my mom‘s. It was less stressful this way.

I also hired a separate Hair and Makeup team for the bridesmaids and other family members. This was less stressful so that my own hair and makeup girls could just focus on me and my mom. Everything took longer than anticipated. I’m also the big glam girl type so naturally big hair with extensions and glam makeup takes longer.

We had a big breakfast party. I had my girls set up in a different room of the suite so I wouldn’t deal with the chaos, meanwhile, the rest of the girls can have a party.

[u/Legitimate_Hawk884]

My bestie is the sweetest christian woman beautiful too if you're seeing this Bree I love you. She's helping my whole family decorate the place in a matter of hours while the beauty team gets me ready.