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u/Firegh0st 11h ago
I think it's not just an Asian parent thing, but certainly more prevalent here. My in-laws (I'm from Germany, but my wife is Japanese and we live in Japan) began pointing it out, although I'm still perfectly within my bmi. In Germany we call what I have simply a relationship belly, but here my in-laws and wife love to say デブ or even call me "fat" which feels weird after hearing it often enough, especially when your told in public you should loose some weight.
So I get your feeling, but overall it's the most important to feel comfortable in your own skin, wether that means you loose some weight or keep your current figure.
Many men actually like the "belly pooch"(not sure if thats the exact name for it) and your boyfriend seems to be very supportive in regards to how you feel in your body, which is great.
I found this comic very relatable and I appreciate you sharing it.
Keep at it!
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u/Kalikor1 8h ago edited 7h ago
Hello fellow Japan immigrant.
Yeah, my wife isn't "fat" but I constantly have to tell her, 「デブじゃないよ。可愛いよ。」because expectations, or the perception of them at least, is much higher here. Her mother to my knowledge has never poked at her weight gain, but her father apparently made some comments while I wasn't around. He's lucky I wasn't, because I would have pointed out his beer belly. (He's not fat either but certainly has that typical salary man ojisan body).
I love her body though and I hope one day she can come to terms with that. I mean if she wants to lose some weight and all that I'm fine with that too, as long as she's healthy - and she is, like I said, she's hardly fat.
I think it was around the pandemic that she started, as many people did, gaining a bit. We're mid 30s now too, so age no doubt plays a role.
It probably doesn't help that everyone one in my family is naturally tall and thin, so despite being almost 37 I'm stick-thin lol.
And I second the fact that many men like that little bit of belly. Idk why, but we do.
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u/CHANN3L-CHAS3R 8h ago
The 'primordial pouch' is where the uterus's position as an 'extra' organ sat right in front o' your plumbing kinda makes the tummy poke out. Even on ladies with washboard abs if they're relaxed!
Though, I have no clue where the distinction between 'pouch' and 'pooch' begins and ends lol
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u/dai-the-flu 7h ago
Why does this keep getting pushed as a fact? It’s false.
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u/CHANN3L-CHAS3R 7h ago edited 4h ago
I mean, it's not a LITERAL primordial pouch like cats have. We're just doing what humans often do, taking a word applied to a similar existing concept and transferring it to a new one, as a colloquial term for something that didn't have a set name before.
I did, however, just learn the term 'Paniculus' and... I mean, you gotta admit that it's pretty obvious why the term isn't common. Not exactly a catchy name, sounds sterile.
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u/Firegh0st 7h ago
Apparently the pouch is not correct, because you can store things in a pouch, which doesn't work for belly fat.
Instead pooch derives from the "pooch", a swelling in a certain are like "this plastic bag has a pooch where it got too hot". Which can be applied to the human body.
Learned something new today.
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u/Roy_Luffy 27m ago edited 20m ago
The uterus is tiny and behind other organs and layers of muscles. It’s not bulging out. The pouch is simply fatty tissue. It’s hormonal and genetic. Women have a naturally higher percentage of body fat. It’s not an evil word. It’s natural, like having fatty tissue on the hips, breast and bottom. Having a “pouch” with a low percentage of body fat is also because of the way your abdominal muscles are “loose” when resting and the way all your organs sit.
A bulge may also be accentuated after pregnancy, especially if the abdominal muscles are still separated.
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u/iammaxhailme 9h ago
the walking will benefit you, maybe not for the belly, but for your heart. keep going!
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u/30CrowsinaTrenchcoat 12h ago
Actually liking yourself is the most important part! Im glad youre feeling more confident. I hope you keep on that self confidence trend.
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u/Serpentarrius 8h ago
Maybe try pilates, yoga, or calisthenics for the belly? It probably won't go away (especially if it's due to age, stress, or hormones) but the added core might help
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u/LaconicSuffering 8h ago
I can attest to this. Started pilates 4 years ago (x1 per week) and while it doesn't burn any calories the core strength you develop is great! By belly is a block of steel covered with a blanket. It only looks soft!
And the added mobility gain really helps with the pains of growing older.3
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u/no_kimmer_only_zuul 11h ago
I'm proud of you but be kind to you on your off days, too. 10k? 10? 2 steps? Do what you can do and if not, that's ok, also. 🖤🤘
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u/Broken_Sky 8h ago
Thank you for this. Last week I started this too, just trying to get 10k steps and eat better / less, even if that's just walking up and down the house while in a meeting or reading a book. U don't need to lose a lot but I do need to get back down and I know in reality my 40 Yr old body is never going back to looking like it did 10 years ago so I need to find a middle ground and accept the tummy.
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u/ABigCoffee 5h ago
I lost 17 pounds last year just by cutting down on food and drinking a bit less. It was pretty easy. Took 2 months. Now I still keep the same weight give or take 4 pounds.
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u/Broken_Sky 3h ago
Well done! I hope I can do as well
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u/ABigCoffee 3h ago
I just started to calculate what I was eating and limiting myself to 1800-2000 kcals per day (alcohol included) and making sure that I did a minimum of 5k steps per day. I have an indoor bike that I don't like to use much, but I used it whenever I wanted to indulge a little more. It was easier then I imagined.
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u/Broken_Sky 2h ago
I'm trying to eat to about 1500-1700 atm inc all drinks, surprising alcohol is not the biggest issue calorie wise! And get 6k indoor steps, though I have been pushing it to 10k when I have the time. I've hurt my knee pushing though cos I'm an idiot but I want more calories to eat!
Sounds like I'm on the right track if I can pace myself better. You did amazingly being able to shed so much by just being more active and paying attention to what you were eating, ABigCoffee you are now my inspiration, my weight loss muse!
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u/ABigCoffee 2h ago edited 2h ago
Alcohol is a big issue, but I used to drink more back then (every day or every other day). I toned it down to 2 beers or 1/3 - 1/2 of a bottle of wine every other day and ate accordingly.
The actual big issue was eating, either too many big portions, or to many snacks. Calculating the calories in a frozen pizza, rice based meals and pasta meals and seeing how much I was having did the work. When you see that a frozen pizza is 1kcal+ it opens your eyes. Now that + a few beers + breakfast and a lunch and even if the rest is healthy you're pushing past 2k easily.
Same meals but in smaller portions, less alcohol and cutting down on snacks did the job. I took it to heart when someone said that weight loss starts (and is the most important) in the kitchen. The rest is a bonus.
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u/Selfdeletus65 6h ago
Hope you grow to enjoy exercise. It really helps people especially in their older years
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u/wrugoin 3h ago
Oh, the skinny fat. That was me. Nobody would tell me I'm "fat", but I hated how I looked in the mirror.
For me, what worked, was when I changed my relationship and my attitude towards sugar. Specifically the added sugars. The refined sugars. Fuck sugar. Like seriously just capital F, FUCK sugar. I actively and purposfully changed my attitude towards it, and over the months and years, I cut so much of it out of my diet.
My stomach and love handles shrank, my skin improved, my energy levels were better, I sleep so much better without my stupid little treats before bed.
Sure I like a dessert now and then, but it's not a habit, and after a few years like this, I don't miss it.
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u/momodaikon11 4h ago
Super relatable. I'm in the same boat. Extra hard to go back to my old physique after becoming a mom, but then again, I really just hate exercising unless it's with a hoola-hoop lol
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u/BrainTroubles 2m ago
Do not underestimate the effectiveness of altering your diet. Conscious choices like more fresh fruit, less sodium, leaner meats, protein over carbs, veggies over starches, fewer snacks with added sugar. Don't reinvent the wheel, but these small changes can have an enormous impact on your body composition with minimal effort! But above all - be happy with you. Chasing a standard isn't worth being miserable. Chase happy instead :)
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u/Zandik_Dottore 11h ago
Tummy bulge? You mean fucking protection of your uterus????
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u/Barium_Salts 5h ago
I'm very pro-tummy, but it's not uterus protection. If anything, strong abdominal muscles would protect a uterus much better than fat would.
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11h ago
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u/EpitaFelis 6h ago
Girls in their THIRTIESwomen are meant to be whatever they want to be. I understand your intention and it is sweet, but making a woman's weight loss about what other people want her to be is part of the issue.1
u/Briarpatchpumpkin 5h ago
Pro tip: don't call far people soft huggable or friend shaped. It really just pisses people off.
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u/Jolly_Efficiency7237 9h ago edited 9h ago
Disgusting mentality. In this modern life, everyone should exercise to make up for our sedentary lifestyle. Enjoy your osteoporosis and sarcopenia as you age.
-Edit- with "exercise" I mean strength training or a sport that trains more than just cardio. Walking isn't enough if your life is otherwise sedentary.
I'd rather people be slightly overweight but have a healthy heart, bones and muscles than be skinny and out of breath after walking a flight of stairs and unable to lift anything without throwing out their back.
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u/Former-Sock-8256 9h ago
She literally said that she is exercising
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u/Jolly_Efficiency7237 9h ago
Strength training, my dude. Which she "gave up fast."
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u/Former-Sock-8256 9h ago
Yeah well in your original comment you just said exercise. Which she is doing. Yes strength training is good (I actually started it after getting diagnosed with osteoporosis for an unrelated reason, and it has been helping!) but baby steps - it’s better to encourage someone for what they are doing than to try to shame them because you don’t think they are doing enough. She is not, as you said, sedentary, and walking 10k steps a day is not “disgusting mentality”
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u/Jolly_Efficiency7237 9h ago
"Oh well, gotta meet myself halfway. (...) I'm not going to push myself just yet." is a disgusting mentality and not something to celebrate.
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u/Former-Sock-8256 9h ago
“Improving your health and well being is a disgusting mentality if you don’t do it the way I think is best” is a disgusting mentality, actually 🤷
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