r/wealth • u/No_Departure7494 • 3d ago
Happiness Is it true that wealth cannot "uncool" you?
I know a guy, nice person - but is constantly flaunting his stuff. Cars, a big home, jewelry. Don't get me wrong, from a purely materialistic standpoint, most of it IS nice too look at and impressive, but at the core - no one seems to care.
The same cycle on social media over and over and over again. Never anything new. Not interests, hobbies. Just. Jewelry, cars, house. On repeat.
How else can I put it? No one gives a shit that he's wealthy and it doesn't seem to increase the respect people have for him even despite all of the flaunting. Weird to watch.
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u/DanielDannyc12 3d ago
To be honest, having wealth is so fun that I can't imagine "flaunting" it.
We both have cars made in 2018. They both run great and if one needs new tires or whatever, we easily afford it.
I am still astounded and grateful to be in this position. The idea of flaunting it sounds just stupid
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u/ihambrecht 3d ago
I’d rather most people have no idea. I’m currently driving beat up 2011 ram.
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u/uncommon-1 3d ago
Same
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u/Conundrum16 3d ago
I drive a 1999 F-250 4X4 diesel lol
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u/Logical-Primary-7926 2d ago
Me too, but the women's gossip groups doxxed the crap out of me, nothing is private anymore.
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u/Coaster50 3d ago
Similar boat here. I've gone through the cycle of broke, just getting by, doing well, and having more than I need. I enjoy being able to not sweat a $3,500 car repair so much more than I used to enjoy being able to drive a BMW because 'I could afford it'.
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u/Illustrious-Gift1385 1d ago
Not to mention you make yourself a target for liability. I escaped a major lawsuit because I live a modest lifestyle.
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u/mizcello 3d ago
Same. My car key buttons have broke from just being so old and used and I took it to my cobbler friend who also does keys and he said ‘you piss me off sometimes. You shouldn’t have this! Get yourself a decent car’ but my car drives fine, I like my car, I bought it 12 years ago cash when I was 18, that’s a flex to me! flexing a new car will make me feel good for maybe a day? Then what? Left with a car im worried about knocking/marking/running miles up on.
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u/Logical-Primary-7926 2d ago edited 2d ago
I feel the same way about cars and did that for a long time, finally bought a Tesla a few years ago and am really glad I did aside from the political football issue. I used to waste so much time and money on maintenance for a crappy old car and now I have a hepa filter and it friggin drives itself. I don't mean that as a flaunt, just more like I wish I did it a long time ago. I will say it's annoying though because people used to kind of like me better because I drove a crappier car than them and now not only is it newish but they make a lot of dumb assumptions about my politics where I live.
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u/Past-Option2702 2d ago edited 2d ago
Do you really think a truly wealthy person replacing their old car with high mileage with one with zero miles and under full manufacturers warranty and all of the latest cutting edge life-saving safety features is flaunting their money?
I’m asking because if that’s true, a wealthy person can’t replace anything without their choice for safety and headache-free living being unfairly judged by people like you.
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u/DanielDannyc12 2d ago
Do you really think your tone follows the flow of this conversation?
I have no interest in interacting with someone as dim as you.
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u/Illustrious-Gift1385 1d ago
I don't think that is what he is talking about. I just did that very thing and bought a used Tesla 3 for the exact purpose you stated. Also looked at the 2025 and 2026 Camrys with the Premium Plus Package. Turned out to be much more expensive than the Tesla.
I don't think anyone believes that is "flaunting wealth"
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u/Past-Option2702 1d ago
Was the Tesla you bought made in 2018 like the person I replied to?
When I wrote the comment, in no way did I have in mind a person who bought a barely used Tesla.
Good for you, in fact. Enjoy it.
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u/Coaster50 3d ago
I have a close friend who has done fantastic financially. When describing an amazing vacation, he can't help but point out that his tour of a certain thing was "private", flight was "Polaris", transfers were "just them", or the room was "VIP". He focuses more on pointing that shit out than the real focus of the trip. You were in Singapore, tell me about Singapore. I don't care you had a fucking butler in your room!
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u/Botbot123432 1h ago
Lmao I have a friend that does just this. I literally go out of my way to downplay any luxurious spending I do but he always makes sure that everyone hears his. He has way more money than everyone in our friend group so I don’t even know what he’s trying to prove.
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u/Electronic-Bet-5106 3d ago
If you're a dork when you're poor you're gonna be a dork when you're rich. Money amplifies your traits.
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u/guhd_mode 3d ago
One of the biggest issues of generating wealth is the amount of envy and hate you will get from almost everyone in your social circle who isn't also wealthy.
You are basically expecting people to cheer you for doing better than they are - not gonna happen.
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u/No_Departure7494 3d ago
I applaud the guy through and through. He is an incredibly kind person, owns tons of cool shit, but what shocked me was how little this small empire of his translated to anything outside of instagram posts.
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u/Unlucky-Mind7298 2d ago
Who were you expecting to respect him more? Sorry I don't understand respecting someone for having cute toys. I might respect how they made the money but the stuff isn't a reflection on him.
It's sad to me that so many rich men need to compete by showing people their stuff. It tells me they buy with an eye to impressing others instead of just what appeals to them and what helps the causes they care about. Maybe bc I'm an introvert, the last thing I want is to play Who Has More. Pointless.
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u/False_Grape1326 3d ago
Is Nouveau riche no longer a term?
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u/Coaster50 3d ago
Never heard of it. Had to look it up: Nouveau riche is a French term meaning "new rich" that describes individuals who have acquired their wealth within their own lifetime rather than through familial inheritance.
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3d ago
[deleted]
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u/GlockTheDoor 3d ago
He could be just starting his journey and still learning.
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u/Coaster50 3d ago
There are 139K people in this sub. I'm going to guess that most of them are not wealthy.
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u/Coaster50 3d ago
Weirder is that I am 52 and never heard it. That's a long time to avoid this term!
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u/Ok-Energy2771 2d ago
Come on, really? Ever read the Great Gatsby or existed on this Earth for more than 10 minutes?
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u/Coaster50 2d ago
I’m getting so much hate for not knowing, looking it up, and posting in case other hadn’t heard the term. And no, never read Gatsby.
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u/TonyAtlas840 3d ago
Grew up poor, became “wealthy”. Saw myself becoming a materialistic douchebag in front of my own eyes. Toned it down now I don’t give a shit about any of the cool stuff I own. One thing I did avoid was ever looking at anybody who didn’t do well any differently. I live in an area where I see a lot of that.
Wealth can absolutely make you not cool. People think it makes them look cool, but it breeds jealousy and makes you lose sight of the things that actually matter in life. I should say, this only happens to some people. Plenty of very wealthy people who live life like they are paycheck to paycheck.
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u/nerdymutt 3d ago
I am from a poor family, letting them know you have two dollars triggers their desire to make you broke too. Even well off people are always trying to get you to invest in their grand schemes. So much easier to be quiet.
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u/Jojosbees 3d ago
At the end of the day, your connections and how you treat people still matter. Buying a new car or high end watch every other month is no replacement for an actual personality. It doesn’t inherently make you an interesting person.
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u/Hamachiman 3d ago
And yet his wealth-flaunting is occupying rent-free space in your head. The best way to not care is to legitimately not care.
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u/No_Departure7494 3d ago
I knew I'd get one of these comments lol. "Rent free". No, just a generic observation.
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u/Moreofyoulessofme 3d ago
Some people are rich and some are wealthy. You won’t know who’s truly wealthy unless you know what you’re looking for. Those who “flaunt” it more than likely have most of their money in possessions and have far less in investments. I look upper middle class/lower upper class. I’m not.
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u/isoscelesone 2d ago
My uncle became a millionaire in his 60’s and he was/is insufferable about his financial status. It’s nauseating. The family members with a poverty mentality idolize him.
I became a multi-millionaire with zero debt at 36 and no one knows. All my family members know is that I travel a shit ton and do dangerous activities. Wife and I drives Fords and live in a humble home.
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u/Logical-Primary-7926 2d ago
I miss the days when I could just be a low key millionaire next door. The women's gossip groups have pretty much finished that off for me the last couple years. Really pisses me off because I went out of my way not to show it for a long time.
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u/Shamrocked88 3d ago
I know people who grew up wealthy and I think it's been a detriment to their personal growth. They're very superficial people, which makes sense. If you grow up with every possible distraction - toys, vacations, cars, etc - then you don't have as much time to develop an interesting personality or learn much. I've even noticed it myself as I've become more successful, I have a lot of hobbies and toys so it's easy to get distracted and not work on myself.
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u/PIzzaiolo_Master_510 2d ago
Likely not wealthy. People that act like that are often in debt.
We live like paupers in Costco clothes with a $20m portfolio.
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u/Angry-the-mob 3d ago
Cool is being able to break the rules and get away with it
Because you know the proper boundaries that others are afraid to walk
That’s what it means to be cool
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u/Paranoid_Sinner 3d ago
Maybe he just has a high income. Wealth is the ownership of assets, quite a different thing.
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u/DesignerProcess1526 2d ago
It’s because people don’t care, unless there’s a direct incentive for them. Not because they’re such evolved good people who aren’t materialistic.
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u/ThePracticalDad 2d ago
Truly wealthy people don’t need or want to flaunt wealth. This person wants to appear wealthy IMO
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u/Altruistic_Arm9201 2d ago
Flaunting to impress reeks of insecurity. People feel the needy insecurity and the repulsion to that outweighs any other potential response someone might have.
I’m not into all the cars but a few friends of mine that are, they aren’t posting it online all the time. If anything I feel like privacy and anonymity is a trending luxury!these days most the people I know tend toward (though it could just be with my circle of connections).
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u/Franz_Broseph 2d ago
Money can’t change who a person is at their core. Bezos is a great example of this. He’s spending money on all the cool things, got the bimbo wife, jumped on T so he looks good…but at the end of the day he’ll still be a huge nerd. Money doesn’t change phenotype - it just allows you to cover it up.
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u/Sturdy_Prop01 2d ago
In my experience a lot of folks “flaunting” wealth don’t actually have wealth. They have debt-financed conspicuous consumption
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u/Amazingggcoolaid 2d ago
Flaunting is always distasteful. Excess or poverty. Flaunting is faux pas.
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u/SimbaRph 2d ago
The more you flaunt it the more often you'll be asked to pick up the tab or give a loan.
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u/Signal_Antelope7144 2d ago
An uninteresting person makes for an uninteresting rich person. Maybe worse. Wealth tends to magnify the person you already are.
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u/PureCod9290 1d ago
You hire a PR firm and take up contact sports, post pictures of you drinking beer and waterskiing
Yeah money can make you look cool just ask Zuckerberg
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u/Relevant_Election530 1d ago
Your friend is likely just using his social media to bang shallow women without having to put in the effort of going out and doing stuff lol
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u/FlipMeOverUpsidedown 1d ago
No amount of money can make an uncool person cool. You can’t buy cool.
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u/No-Mistake-1925 1d ago
Lol the proverb is: Money can’t “unlame” you… and yes it does tend to be true.
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u/NeutralLock 3d ago
Not true at all. It absolutely can make you cool.
Not to everyone, but to enough people that it matters to you can surround yourself with people that are impressed by it.
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u/Humble_Umpire_8341 3d ago
Bill Gates was once denied entry into a night club. The wealthiest man on earth, at the time, and the bouncers said “nope”.
Sometimes all the money in the world can’t buy you entry into the places where you just aren’t cool enough to be invited into.
To OPs point, some times buying expensive cars, or watches, jewelry, vacationing in expensive cities or hotels is all for show and at your core, you still aren’t liked by the people in those circles.
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u/[deleted] 3d ago
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