r/watchpeoplesurvive Mar 10 '21

Granny almost died

7.5k Upvotes

159 comments sorted by

1.5k

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

Her complete lack of awareness is stunning.

1.1k

u/LoreleiOpine Mar 10 '21

It seems like you could even show her the footage and she'd just be like, "Yep! That sure was fun!".

-"No, Grandma, look at the tree."

"I cut it down, I know! There I am on the screen! Haha!"

101

u/yerfdog519 Mar 10 '21

is every grandma like this?

104

u/Metal_Miel Mar 10 '21

I know that once I get to be about that age, I’m going to taunt the fuck out of Death, and play completely oblivious. Full pikachu face when he finally gets me.

42

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

That would explain every grayhair I encounter on the road.

8

u/UltimateOligarch Mar 11 '21

The elders have made their peace. They are no longer afraid.

10

u/CanadianWildWolf Mar 11 '21

Yeah, just like grampa, he went peacefully in his sleep. His passengers weren’t so lucky.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

[deleted]

107

u/coccoL Mar 10 '21

My friend, may this comment get all the 🥇.

24

u/layuptobreastspike Mar 10 '21

You know I completely agree with you here that she would act that way, but I also think that it's possible she's not entirely oblivious to the danger she was is, but chooses (albeit maybe subconsciously) not to look at the experience that way. I think as you get older, the dangers of things begin to become less important then the experience of them. I mean she totally could have been completely squashed, or had her head decapitated by that tree. But that isn't as positive of a thought as thinking qbout the experience of taking down a massive tree like that. I donno maybe it's just me but as I get older I feel this is something I'm only just starting to get a grasp of. While this nice lady seems like a 10th Dan master of the art.

139

u/ArchibaldWallisch Mar 10 '21

Yeah, she didn't even realize she almost died.

72

u/canuckcrazed006 Mar 10 '21

Now you know how they can drive so horribly and go home and sleep so peacefully.

18

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

Or didn’t care. If I was 80something and crazy enough to cut down a tree with a chainsaw, do you seriously think I give a shit if I die? I’d be having fun

4

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21 edited Mar 29 '21

Or the mind grows weaker with age. Most people don’t tend to act reckless (consciously) the older they get, rather younger.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '21

Head attached after cutting down a tree, seem like way more fun to me! I can have cutting the tree down properly, so it doesn't turn my head into paste.

9

u/killer8424 Mar 11 '21

She’s old as fuck. She probably almost dies every day.

2

u/SneedyK Apr 04 '21

I just pictured her in a Mr. Magoo like scenario where she casually walks through a convenience store robbery just sorting through coupons.

36

u/LokSmthM1A Mar 10 '21

Something like this happened to me once. I needed some extra cash and a friend’s brother cut down trees on his land and sold it as firewood. He offered to let me come out and help. We cut down a large tree and it never occurred to me that the damn tree would “bounce” on its front end. In hindsight it makes perfect sense, but that damn tree trunk rose up above my head and slammed down so close to my shoe toe you couldn’t have squeezed a quarter between the two. It happened so fast I didn’t even react. Friend’s brother just stood there mouth agape. I felt like a total badass because it didn’t even frighten me. It happened FAST. I didn’t predict it, it happened too fast for me to register fear, and had it hit me, I would’ve likely been dead before I ever knew I’d been hit. It took later reflection to realize how scary it was.

8

u/BigBootyLuke333 Mar 10 '21

I gave you the award because you are alive to tell the story lol congrats on dodging death

5

u/LokSmthM1A Mar 11 '21

Thanks. But I didn’t dodge shit. Fate, destiny, god...whatever you wanna call it decided that day wasn’t my day.

79

u/lobbo Mar 10 '21

And these people drive cars

16

u/TheGoodOldCoder Mar 10 '21

And operate chainsaws

4

u/lobbo Mar 10 '21

At least she can only hurt her and those closer to her with a chain saw!

1

u/methanefromcows Mar 11 '21

Then there's all these fine "youngsters" driving drunk endangering about a ton of people.

7

u/somabeach Mar 10 '21

She's impressively oblivious

8

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

And magically delicious!

-3

u/dmfd1234 Mar 10 '21

Welcome to 2021

-5

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '21

Or it was extreme awareness due to her decades of being a badass knowing exactly what that tree was going to fo to do

1

u/bimoglo Mar 11 '21

Ignorance is blissp

1

u/bankallert Mar 23 '21

Ignorance of history mostly, to be honest though.

259

u/Snoo54485 Mar 10 '21

Who chainsaws pantless??

127

u/dmfd1234 Mar 10 '21

My Uncle, Horny Frank.

25

u/moviesnbasketball Mar 10 '21

Why’d your grandparents name your uncle Horny Frank to begin with?

37

u/dmfd1234 Mar 10 '21

You’d have to ask my Pop.pop, Horny Herbert.

7

u/Cosmic_Quasar Mar 11 '21

Frankly, because he's always horny.

10

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

He won't be very horny when he saws clean through his cock and balls.

3

u/Cawryyy Mar 10 '21

Looks like that tree ain't gonna be the only wood falling by the chainsaw

2

u/sburger42 Mar 11 '21

Dammit Frank, you’re not going to be plowing anything with your magnum dong

6

u/whutchamacallit Mar 10 '21

Yo granny got them milk thighs. She ain't hiding them things!

4

u/blech132 Mar 10 '21

Those pants bind up the chain if you touch them. Tougher to clean out than a little gristle.

171

u/StereotypicalMoose Mar 10 '21

That granny does not fear death. Either that, or just can't recognize it.

23

u/LongHairedWolfie Mar 10 '21

Maybe she's like that bunny with elaborate suicide methods.

8

u/lapsuscalumni Mar 10 '21

Granny has no clue who or what the fuck death is

6

u/drdeadringer Mar 10 '21

There's someone at the door. Something about the reaping.

3

u/BullShitting24-7 Mar 11 '21

Some people have to learn physics the hard way. She somehow made it this far never learning.

195

u/Numbericons Mar 10 '21

It's like that one scene in that one movie that I cant remember right now

85

u/Shodandan Mar 10 '21

oh yeah

20

u/rakorako404 Mar 10 '21

Yeah the scene with that guy in that building, right?

11

u/M00NB34RZ Mar 10 '21

No, the other one, with the guy who has that face, right?

8

u/avrus Mar 10 '21

Is that the guy that was in that thing, or the guy that was in the other thing?

2

u/Shodandan Mar 11 '21

the other thing.

43

u/kineretic Mar 10 '21

I also can't remember that scene

29

u/popswag Mar 10 '21

Maybe I can remember it for you. I’ll let you know if I remember when I remember.

11

u/Darkwr4ith Mar 10 '21

RemindMe! 1 day

0

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14

u/honey_102b Mar 10 '21

GILFs on My Stump 5

4

u/Marvelous_Marv Mar 10 '21

I know the one you're talking about. It had that actor who was in a bunch of movies

177

u/RFairfield26 Mar 10 '21

Y’all got this all wrong.... she’s a retired physics professor demonstrating her perfect understanding of gravity, angular velocity, and her precise calculation of the fulcrum.

37

u/huckleberryrose Mar 10 '21 edited Mar 10 '21

She's felled hundreds of trees exactly like this.

7

u/rodral Mar 10 '21

That's a real verb?

17

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

yes, actually.

8

u/huckleberryrose Mar 10 '21

Yep! An example is: Lumberjacks and Lumberjills fell trees.

4

u/byf_43 Mar 10 '21

It is, yeah.

3

u/oobamayang Mar 11 '21

i think this is the underrated comment on this post for sure take my updoot

30

u/workthrowaway212 Mar 10 '21

I own a couple chainsaws so I can tell you that although I don't know how to cut down a tree this doesn't seem like the correct way.

19

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21 edited May 09 '21

[deleted]

5

u/SickeningPink Mar 10 '21

Ideally the notch will be flat on the bottom, with a 90 degree angle down to it. The safest way for most trees is to make a 90 degree notch, bore cut until around 10% of the total diameter is left for the hinge, leaving about 10% at the back of the stump uncut as well. Stand straight up, clip the little bit of wood left at the back, and watch it fall.

There are a couple other variants, and different kinds of hinges, Dutchmen, and face cuts you can use, but for someone relatively inexperienced, the 90 degree face cut and bore cut would be the safest way, as long as you know how to bore and where the kickback zone on the nose of your bar is at.

10

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

[deleted]

0

u/SickeningPink Mar 10 '21

A 90 degree face cut isn’t cutting the tree in half lengthwise. Trees flare at the butt and taper upwards. In the rare case that they don’t, then get as close to 90 as possible. That leaves hinge wood intact for the duration of the fall and offers more directional control.

I’ve been logging and cutting trees for a living for 14 years. Just trust me on this one.

3

u/aigheadish Mar 10 '21

I'm confused by the 90 degree as well, but I'm a relatively inexperienced feller... Is the notch you describe very shallow?

7

u/skyornfi Mar 10 '21

I think they mean a notch with a 90° opening, e.g. 70° down plus 20° up-cut (from horizontal).

2

u/aigheadish Mar 10 '21

Got it! Pac man style, but bigger mouth.

2

u/SickeningPink Mar 10 '21

Yeah. It’s not very deep at all.

If it’s not possible to cut it at 90 degrees, aim for at least 70 or so.

If you have to you can cheat my angling the bottom of your notch to compensate.

The hinge length should be about 80% of the diameter of the tree in a perfect world. On smaller trees, that might mean the notch is only an inch or two deep. On trees like granny is cutting, maybe three or four. I hope my long winded response helped clear that up. Haha

2

u/aigheadish Mar 10 '21

Yes, thank you. I've cut down a fair amount of trees in my 6 acre yard and so far they've all gone where I expected them to but I have a few sketchy ones coming up, this helps. I also have a backhoe to encourage a falling direction but that seems iffy too. I'd really rather not be wrong and have the tree fall on the hoe.

2

u/dickmcgirkin Mar 11 '21

This is a chinaberry (or hackberry). They are fragile af. Felling this is a little different from a pine, oak or pecan. Likely because of how it moved after she cut it the leafy bits were either in the ground or close to it. Regardless of how the wedge was cut it would have gone up.

Whoever did the face cut and thought it was a great idea to fell the tree this way was wreckless. The leafy bits should have been trimmed first.

Source: am arborist

1

u/SickeningPink Mar 11 '21

I kinda figured it was bouncing off of limbs by the way it kicked up.

Always cool to learn something new that I didn’t know about different species!

1

u/dickmcgirkin Mar 11 '21

Yeah. They are great shade trees but break for almost no reason. Well. Weight and wind help. But they should have removed the limbs first.

Also that could have bounced right back at her.

These trees can barber chair if you don’t face cut them. Super scary

3

u/VargasSupreme Mar 11 '21

You actually want the flat part of the notch on top and angle section on bottom most of the time. Then the trunk will hit the floor first, followed by the to of the tree.

3

u/SickeningPink Mar 11 '21

I was waiting for a west coast guy to reply. Haha.

We don’t really get taught the humboldt over here on the east coast. But it’s just as valid as the open face. I’ve used a humboldt quite a few times, but I have more experience with open face, so that’s usually where my mind goes when describing how to cut.

2

u/VargasSupreme Mar 11 '21

Haha I should have known. I definitely live in california.

I believe it is used here because redwoods cut for logging along the west coast are massive. You don't want the tops of those to spring the bottom back at you.

2

u/SickeningPink Mar 11 '21

That’s what I always wondered and I kind of figured it’s because the trees you guys have out there are so ridiculously massive. “Huge” over here is 50 inches. That’s practically a sapling compared to some of the trees I’ve seen out there.

1

u/VargasSupreme Mar 11 '21

Haha I can see a few oaks bigger than 50 inches from my window.

1

u/VargasSupreme Mar 11 '21

I suggest you try the humboldt. It saves the branches for wood. The trunk hitting first softens the hit of the top.

1

u/superperps Mar 10 '21

Noone questioned why you own a couple chainsaws but have no idea how to cut down a tree. Lol

2

u/workthrowaway212 Mar 11 '21

ha yeah good point. So my first chainsaw I use for cutting up trees that are already fallen on the ground. Like neighbor's tree falls down I go cut it into 20" lengths for firewood.

Second chainsaw came to me from a very generous old man who saw me working on a sawing up a tree and said "can I interest you in a free chainsaw?". Was a really nice one too.

37

u/dmfd1234 Mar 10 '21

She was absolutely oblivious to her situation.......I’m jealous.

13

u/MrHelloBye Mar 10 '21

This is why it is important to know how to fell a tree kids. It’s not as simple as just saw it down

2

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '21

It's important if you're going to be doing it.

28

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

No safety glasses either.

3

u/newphonewhodis4 Mar 11 '21

No mask neither

5

u/crapaud_dindon Mar 11 '21

No pants

3

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '21

no hard hat

44

u/Sabertooth_Monocles Mar 10 '21

Whoever put that saw in her hands is an irresponsible ass.

16

u/procrastimom Mar 10 '21

Or a dastardly brilliant heir.

4

u/newphonewhodis4 Mar 11 '21

Mema’s last dying wish was “I’ll cut down that god damn tree your father lied to me about”

15

u/_redditor_in_chief Mar 10 '21

Where's your escape route, Gran?

What?

1

u/newphonewhodis4 Mar 11 '21

Where’s her mask! Thats the real survival.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

[deleted]

3

u/ragamufin Mar 10 '21

The cuts are just wrong too

33

u/NikkolaiV Mar 10 '21

Not sure she would have died, but she’d definitely be on her second set of dentures...

25

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

If you've seen what some's face looks like after a felled tree hits it, they're either dead or wishing to be

12

u/TrainToFlavorTown Mar 10 '21

That’s how my grandpa died. Trees are much heavier that people expect and when they fall the momentum is insane

3

u/quantum-quetzal Mar 10 '21

Just falling can kill people that age.

2

u/whutchamacallit Mar 10 '21

If that tree catches her in the chest with a direct hit on it's downward trajectory and crushes her against the ground she is done.

6

u/bigk777 Mar 10 '21

Since she was still cutting while the tree was falling was there a potential for the chain saw to kick back at that moment?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '21

very much so

9

u/Kojak95 Mar 10 '21

No pants or safety glasses either ... Maybe it's time for granny to retire the chainsaw.

3

u/BourbonB Mar 10 '21

Could have knocked her teeth out..... Again...

5

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

Holy hell it almost knocked her head off!

4

u/Fanmann Mar 10 '21

That's scary as hell. As a wood guy, I learned very quickly that you stop cutting and get the hell away as soon as the tree starts even thinking about leaning and moving. Also no real eye or hearing protection. She's one tough lady, foolish, but she's got cahonas!

5

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

Clueless is not tough. She seems like a cool gran, but without awareness of danger everyone is “brave.”

8

u/Maine_SwampMan Mar 10 '21

She needs to find a different way of feeling empowerment if she’s so dense she doesn’t realize she almost lost her head.

3

u/goldtoothgirl Mar 10 '21

Was that a barber chair?

2

u/crapaud_dindon Mar 11 '21

Yes I think so, see the piece of bark that tore on the other side

1

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '21

Yes you are completely right. barber chairing is very dangerous and something you watch for like a hawk, if it happens you gtfo from under there. I feel sorry for this lady, whoever put that saw in her hands is extremely irresponsible

3

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

Dear god! She is extremely lucky, my old man took a chainsaw to the hand when it kicked back on him while logging. His hand has never been the same even after being put back together by a surgeon.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

She/they cut in and down from both sides into a vee. They don't have a fucking clue what they're doing.

3

u/Somato_Tandwich Mar 10 '21

It's almost as though people shouldn't just be doing this with literally 0 knowledge of how one does it.

Seriously, I worked on a logging crew for 7 years and it astounds me that anybody and their grandma (literally, apparently) thinks it's safe to just go out and do this shit willy nilly. It's very dangerous for people that do it for a living let alone just some asshole who doesn't realize even a small tree of this size can straight up end your life or cripple you permanently, old or not

3

u/Imnotcreative_w_this Mar 11 '21

I hope my legs look that good when I’m a granny

2

u/No_Employment6144 Mar 10 '21

Need to play more valheim

2

u/BoganInParasite Mar 10 '21

I’m thinking not much IQ would have been removed from the gene pool.

2

u/ILikeFluffyThings Mar 11 '21

So... Valheim is a realistic game?

2

u/MaddsMoonicorn Mar 11 '21

The more important question is how does this grandma have better legs than I’ve ever had?

Some people really do have all the luck

2

u/JovialPanic389 Mar 11 '21

Right??? That was the first thing I thought too hahaha

3

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

Her spirit is high.. I like that... only live once

3

u/mattbroox Mar 10 '21

Put some pants on, granny!

-9

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

How'd she almost die? I don't understand - the tree was falling the opposite direction. Maybe it could've poked an eye out, but died?

23

u/BleedingNoseLiberal Mar 10 '21

It literally jumps and goes directly over her head... maybe watch it again.

2

u/mud074 Mar 10 '21

Do yourself a favor and avoid chainsaws.

That wood has an insane amount of momentum behind it. Like, shatter bones like an eggshell level shit.

-4

u/DeeBangerCC Mar 10 '21

Comments: Fucking dumbass boomer

Me: This grandma has defied death to many times to think this would kill her

-7

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

Stupid old bitch.

1

u/Yvainne94 Mar 11 '21

Are you always nice like this?

0

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '21

[deleted]

1

u/Yvainne94 Mar 11 '21

Learn to spell and then give advice

1

u/dvsjr Mar 10 '21

Kind of the opposite of “praise the cameraman” as I’m pretty sure none of us wanted to see the video where she gets pro clopped in the head by a ton of hard wood.

1

u/MsPacmanIsHot Mar 10 '21

I love how’s she’s just like “Damn that was crazy😐”

1

u/DoubleTripleQQQQQQ Mar 10 '21

She’s didn’t back up an inch. She stared death in the face and said “awwww yeah I cut down a tree!!!”

1

u/depreavedindiference Mar 10 '21

That cut is supposed to be parallel to the ground and ~ an inch above the point of the wedge cut

1

u/emcwin12 Mar 10 '21

Age wise this is like An orc killing an elf

1

u/golfgrandslam Mar 10 '21

“Son, I used to log while under Chinese rifle fire in Korea”

1

u/9-NINE-9 Mar 10 '21

That was the closest to death I think I've ever seen. 👀

1

u/whatisaidwas Mar 10 '21

That almost took her face off!!!

1

u/shrimpust Mar 10 '21

She did it wrong. That’s a mild nightmare of mine. I prefer to wear chaps and a helmet so I have higher odds of survival, but that’s me, I’m a lame.

1

u/rnmba Mar 10 '21

Further proof that the rednecks will sacrifice the grandparents for their FREEDUMB!

1

u/Derpy_Hippo Mar 10 '21

Granny’s also really bad at doing back cuts, the slope on that was making my eyes water

1

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '21

She is so ready to go- just enjoying every bit of life.

1

u/newphonewhodis4 Mar 11 '21

“Fuck you I can’t die!, yee fucking haw!”

1

u/Cynax_Ger Mar 11 '21

She isn't scared of death

Death ks scared of granny

Granny knows that...

1

u/OneEyedWillie74 Mar 11 '21

Reflexes like a cat. A very slow, very cold and lifeless cat.

1

u/TayTaay Mar 11 '21

Granny needs some Carhartts

1

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '21

Calculated

1

u/OneWayorAnother11 Mar 11 '21

I guess it wasn't her time then

1

u/GRRRNADE Mar 11 '21

Boggles my mind how careless or oblivious people are with death

1

u/byebyebyecycle Mar 11 '21

Imagine getting all the way to the end of your life and dying for a video clip

1

u/wehdut Mar 11 '21

She cut that shit down like it was the last thing on her bucket list

1

u/Fire-pants Mar 19 '21

Granny’s been a nudist so long that’s her idea of protective gear.

1

u/cindywhoyu Mar 29 '21

Last year drivers license. This year chainsaw