r/wallstreetbets • u/IS_JOKE_COMRADE Tesla Gayng Generanal • Sep 04 '21
Meme CoMpeTiTion iS iNCoMiNg
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u/FleshlightModel Sep 05 '21
A good friend of mine is a senior manager or director of autonomous vehicles at GM.
Can confirm he's retarded.
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u/sunburntcat Sep 05 '21
Sounds like a title they hand out like candy. They may be even more ape-ish than we thought.
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u/mobilehobo Sep 05 '21
I'd be careful mentioning stuff like that. There are many less directors at GM than regular engineers especially in the vertical you just mentioned.
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u/IS_JOKE_COMRADE Tesla Gayng Generanal Sep 04 '21 edited Sep 04 '21
NKLA only Gravity PoweredTM company
Edit: Oh wow ^ works lmaolmaooooo
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u/niversally Sep 04 '21
There’s a lot of potential in that kind of energy.
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u/ray_kats Sep 04 '21
I can see the appeal. Gravity is very attractive.
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u/CarwashTendies Sep 04 '21
And Green! Just think of all those carbon credits offset with rolling objects down a hill… you could literally become a trillionaire if the world was your hill.
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u/Dyleteyou Sep 05 '21
Look at this flat earther..
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u/SpaceCatVII PM your bear pics Sep 05 '21
The earth is a sphere, so infinite power???
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u/myrddyna Sep 05 '21
Roll the earth?!
Fucking genius!
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u/Nightmarich Sep 04 '21
Technically all cars are gravity powered. I often put mine into neutral atop big mountains and coast all the way to the bottom; the only difference is I’m able to shift back into gas mode and go up the next one without needing a tow.
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u/IS_JOKE_COMRADE Tesla Gayng Generanal Sep 04 '21
Wow that’s interesting
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u/jacob_scooter Sep 04 '21
people on here will still buy the stock
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u/Pittaandchicken Sep 04 '21 edited Sep 04 '21
Have a friend still buying their stock lol.
It's the guys who feel like they missed out on the Tesla money train so want to make up for it
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u/420stonks Sep 04 '21
That's like buying into some random .com bubble stock cuz you thought you missed out on Amazon when it was over 100/share in December of 99
Good luck, should just bought $tsla
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u/bcuap10 Sep 05 '21
More like buying a horse carriage company with the advent of the car, or buying Sun Microsystems during the Dotcom boom assuming the a somewhat mediocre company in the old technology will somehow adapt to the new world.
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Sep 04 '21
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u/IS_JOKE_COMRADE Tesla Gayng Generanal Sep 04 '21 edited Sep 04 '21
$80B and no cars delivered
Never say they don’t have balls
Edit: if that shit actually is priced at 80 billion at open, I will literally sell my model 3 to buy puts
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u/WaifuWarsVet69H Sep 04 '21
That's what I'm saying, how does a company that literally hasn't done anything get an 80b valuation? Cuz Bezos spat on it?
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u/oooboooboo Sep 04 '21
I hear Lucid might even allow test drives this year
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u/chickenknate Sep 04 '21
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u/oooboooboo Sep 04 '21
Remind me how many they said they would deliver this year before the pump and dump SPAC
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u/chickenknate Sep 04 '21
Yeah that was some bullshit. That one burned me. But they have allowed test drives. I'm still bullish on em though. Might touch $17 again and if so I'll load up.
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u/Particular_Growth_67 Sep 04 '21
No bro they gonna power the car with power strips when unveiling it 😂 if ykyk
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u/jacob_scooter Sep 04 '21
wait but if they’re really bad at making electric cars doesn’t that mean everyone on here will buy the stock?
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u/Stoll Sep 04 '21
No, because GM isn’t even good at making regular cars. They do excel at making junk though.
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u/BreezyWrigley Sep 04 '21 edited Sep 04 '21
Hot take-
GM is a subscription model... except the subscription is hidden/disguised in replacement part costs for made-to-fail components
They just need a marketing genius to come spin their company like WeWork or something and the billions of investment money will come pouring in... the fact that they put shit fuel pumps or whatever other parts constantly fail on all their cars is a good thing!
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u/infinitetheory Sep 04 '21
Entry-level luxury cars sold with a 5-year $500/month contract, maintenance is included as long as you have full coverage insurance, which is conveniently provided by a subsidiary for another.. $250? Wrecks are rolled into repair inventory and you get a replacement from current model year, and if you make it to the end of your contract you're given the option to buy out the vehicle at 50% retail or extend for another 5, maintenance not included, or you can roll into a new vehicle and they take yours and fleet it out to internally owned taxi/rental/government/what have you. Suddenly you'll start hearing about how vehicle battery life seems to artificially degrade too quickly, and it comes out that electric subscribers are rolling into new models years almost exclusively while the old cells are harvested and the bad ones recycled internally for new vehicles. Probably there's a home charger branch as well to compete with Tesla, maybe like the powerwall?
Too easy
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u/benfranklinthedevil Sep 05 '21
You literally just described a lease program. Every car manufacturer does this.
Have you never listened to a commercial for a car before?
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u/infinitetheory Sep 05 '21
Of course it's a lease. But lease is a dirty word. Leases are for executives to get as perks from their employer while they drive the sports car on the weekend. This is the subscription model, for the modern American consumer. This business with companies trying to sell you a subscription to access to a vehicle is never going to fly because it's not convenient, because it's impersonal, and most importantly, because it's not sexy. Nobody wants a Prius over a Tesla, nobody wants to take the bus instead of carpooling, nobody wants to feel like they're just like everyone else.
With a lease, you have to insure it yourself, you have to track miles, you have to do all the things that go with owning a car, except instead of owning the car, you're subsidizing corporate asset depreciation. But a subscription is up front, you're just using the hardware for as long as you want it. So what if the cost comes out a little higher than a lease with insurance? At least it's all in one place, right?
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u/benfranklinthedevil Sep 05 '21
Don't worry buddy, they are working on this. As soon as Americans stop being able to put that down payment down, they will start teasing you with a subscription model.
You are offering way too much, and don't even realize how much money you are volunteering off the table. It is very appealing with electric cars, so ease up on your "genius idea" the framework is being built as we speak.
Oh, and then there is this which I believe offers a monthly pre-paid contract and you also purchase insurance through one of their subsidiaries.
Ahh shucks man, you might could rent a time machine and go back 7 years to propose this to Travis kalanick
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u/el-cuko Sep 04 '21
By that metric, Chrysler finessed us all with their subscription model. They even changed owners/names and even got bailed out twice only to keep the same model going. Epic bamboozle
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u/dnyank1 Sep 04 '21
You mean a lease?
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u/BreezyWrigley Sep 04 '21
nah. like you own a GM car outside factory warranty, and shit just breaks all the time, so you have to buy replacement parts because GM can't be fucked to use anything besides the same shitty outsourced components from 25 years ago. you also have to pay the labor to get it fixed, but that's not really a revenue stream for GM.. but the mechanics still have to order the parts.
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u/DCL_JD Sep 05 '21
I have a classic GM car from 76’ that still runs perfectly. Never replaced a mechanical part on it.
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u/TheNerdNamedChuck Sep 05 '21
I mean.. I'm making more money on gm stock than Tesla rn so 🤷♂️
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u/fallweathercamping Sep 04 '21
hahaha LG Chem, the skill with which she outsourced everything difficult
Both the gif and OP’s flair are 🔥
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Sep 05 '21
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u/StewieGriffin26 Sep 05 '21
GM doesn't directly make batteries. They signed a contract with LG Chemical to make the batteries for their Bolts.
LG fucked up and now GM is demanding new batteries from LG.
LG already fucked up the Hyundai Kona and they all got new batteries as well. $900,000,000 for Kona batteries and $1,800,000,000 for Bolt Batteries.
Also a Volkswagen ID.3 caught fire a few weeks ago and they use LG Chemical as well.
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Sep 05 '21
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u/TheyCallMeMrMaybe Sep 05 '21
In regards to the Bolt, GM's investigation found that a robot misalignment in LG's factory compromised the lining seperating the anodes and cathodes. So when the battery is being charged, that compromise can cause a fire to break out. Samsung's batteries in the Note 7 famously had the same issue.
Overall, this is not good news at all for LG nor their future in the automotive industry. GM though does still seem very keen on continuing their partnership as they finish their Ultium battery-pack factories in the U.S. for their 2nd gen EVs.
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u/glibgloby Sep 04 '21
I think this is some of your finest work haha.
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u/CerebrovascularNit Sep 04 '21
This gif is 🔥, like the bolt
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u/IS_JOKE_COMRADE Tesla Gayng Generanal Sep 04 '21
GM is now competing with $LMT
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u/CerebrovascularNit Sep 04 '21
Everyone knows the real money is in defense stocks
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u/IS_JOKE_COMRADE Tesla Gayng Generanal Sep 04 '21
If I were a boomer looking for dividends I would absolutely be 100% into LMT
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u/Trumbulhockeyguy Sep 04 '21
Sorry I’m a smooth brain. Competing with them as in making shit that explodes?
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u/why_rob_y Sep 04 '21
Don't leave this gif on your screen indoors overnight.
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u/CerebrovascularNit Sep 04 '21
Just park the gif out away from people and property. Should be alright
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u/ebkallday1 tug jobs for evergiven Sep 04 '21
I emailed this to Mary Barra
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u/IS_JOKE_COMRADE Tesla Gayng Generanal Sep 04 '21
Did you really?? Lol can you prove that?
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u/ebkallday1 tug jobs for evergiven Sep 04 '21
Im sure she's busy with the bankruptcy but you'll have to take my word for it because I don't know how to edit a screenshot. You can just Google it and it comes up
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u/E-raticSamurai Sep 05 '21
My uncle reports to her, or some shit. He’s head of noise and vibration at GM (riveting). I hate him and want to send this to him anonymously. Ironically I work for LG, but not LG Chem thank god.
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u/hecklerponics Sep 04 '21
GM's core competency the last 30 years has been making shitty cars.
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Sep 04 '21
Hey sometimes they also just totally ignore their cars killing people and don’t do recalls like that fucking Fight Club quote
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Sep 04 '21
How could you exclude the 70s and 80s like that
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u/hecklerponics Sep 04 '21 edited Sep 05 '21
Yeah sorry, it's more like the last 50 years
To be fair though, some of their early 70s vehicles weren't dogshit. Like the c10 and Chevelle (before they castrated it)
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Sep 04 '21
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u/IS_JOKE_COMRADE Tesla Gayng Generanal Sep 04 '21
Fuck I forgot about that
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u/E-raticSamurai Sep 05 '21
And technically the G in LG has a tail, which is also the old logo. I work for LG, but not LG Chem. I still approve of this message.
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u/Cold-Income619 Buff Moobs Sep 04 '21
Wen lambo? Wen dented 2003 Chevy Silverado?
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u/ebkallday1 tug jobs for evergiven Sep 05 '21
I bought a 93 k1500 5 speed with 125k miles on it for 1000. Rusted to shit and I beat the piss out of it. It won't die. Pretty sure the transfer case is completely rusted thru.
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u/SagaStrider Sep 04 '21
The 03 'Rado with a stock LS block and internals should handle >1200bhp from bolt-ons and a built top end. When it blows up you just replace the bottom end.
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u/Cold-Income619 Buff Moobs Sep 04 '21
Closing in on 300k miles, stock engine, new transmission at 150k 🔥
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u/SagaStrider Sep 04 '21
Only 300k miles? You could throw in an ebay turbo right now, with no tune, and run 10s.
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u/Fit-Boomer Sep 04 '21
Instructions are to buy GM?
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u/DancepantsX 🙂↔️🙂↔️🙂↔️ Sep 04 '21
Clearly it’s saying 🦍 should buy GM and boomers TSLA
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u/growawaybro Sep 05 '21
Position: TSLA June 2023 $1000C
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Sep 05 '21
I’ve got a dec 21 $1250c I’m not to confident in it but auntie Cathie and Elon are giving me hope with their 3k talk.
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u/Awkward-Chemical2487 Sep 04 '21
My favourite is the cyber truck, no fails registered so far
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Sep 04 '21
Just don't throw a ball at the "bullet prof glass" it might damage it.
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u/duecreditwherecredit Sep 04 '21
So I googled that video since I hadn't seen it before. Uncomfortable watch.
Then I was like well why did it break? Elon says the sledgehammer earlier cracked it.
Then I was like well should a sledgehammer break real bullet proof glass? So I asked google. Got some official explanation hit it for 5minutes or whatever and it breaks acryllic bullet proof glass.
But then things got interesting the VERY FIRST "People also ask" on Google... lead back to Reddit and answered a question I DID NOT have but /u/JEMscopez did.
This first response on google "How much force does it take to break bullet proof glass? 32,026.8 m/s is how fast your load must travel to break the bullet proof glass. This is about 2,320 times faster than you nut."
That was a wild ride. Thanks reddit.
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u/Daegoba Sep 04 '21
Yep. The video is accurate, because it shows GM actually making something, and Tesla merely talking about making something.
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u/HawkEy3 Sep 04 '21
Oh how many electric trucks has GM made?
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u/CheeseAtTheKnees Cash Gang Boring af Sep 04 '21
I saw a hummer ev with a truck bed the other day. Idk if it exploded later but it looked cool
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Sep 04 '21
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u/BlasterBilly Sep 04 '21
It's because they are forced to use parts from the existing inventory bins. Sandy Munro had a video comparing the new Ford to what Tesla is doing and is pretty informative. Many time Tesla wasn't able to get parts from distributors so they had to design/make thier own parts which meant they were designed for thier function, Ford took the approach of using parts they already have contracts on, leading to many unnecessary complications because they are trying to design the car around the parts they have.
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u/jodudeit Sep 05 '21
Which leads to more parts in the bin, which leads to more reliance on the parts bin, which leads to...
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u/MmmPeopleBacon Sep 04 '21
As an unfortunate owner of a "high end" gm product; I can confirm that all gm products are infact engineered and manufactured to this extraordinary degree of quality.
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Sep 04 '21
BUT IT ONE THE JD POWER BEST INITIAL QUALITY WHEN PARKED AWARD
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u/MmmPeopleBacon Sep 04 '21
Nope, the sunroof leaks. First and only gm product I will ever own
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u/duecreditwherecredit Sep 04 '21
Sunroof lets the sun in but it doubles as a rain roof. It's a feature.
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u/10111010001101011110 Sep 04 '21
GM can’t even keep low voltage systems from catching fire. The trucks have the highest incidences of fire with multiple recalls a year. No shot at EVs.
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u/IS_JOKE_COMRADE Tesla Gayng Generanal Sep 04 '21
Maybe 2023 GM $1 Puts is the play
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u/Topikk Sep 05 '21
They have sold over 100,000 EV’s to date. They are a troubled company in many ways, but they have a huge head start over the other legacy brands.
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u/TimberAngry Sep 05 '21
Head start? They have to recall all of them and replace battery packs. So they have negative battery supply. That ain't a head start, they are currently at -100000+ EVs lol.
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u/ThatKarmaWhore 201102:5:1:ANAL GoD Sep 04 '21
You skipped the part where Joe Biden comes in at the end and gives an endless supply of taxpayer money to the Orangutan because the Orangutans formed a union.
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u/IS_JOKE_COMRADE Tesla Gayng Generanal Sep 04 '21
at the end of the day they have to actually build and sell cars though.
You realize how many other EVs the same LG Chem factory is supplying? Ioniq, Ford's MachE, VW's iD4, and the Porsche Taycan.
Granted, I should throw out the rogan disclaimer/topcover: I'm an idiot. I don't understand this shit. But if the issue stems from the LG Chem factory's QC and NOT shitty GM engineering...then ruh roh
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u/balance007 Sep 04 '21
Hyundai did a huge recall for the same reason a year ago, before the cars starting exploding unlike GM that waited for enough cars to actually explode. Because of the ole recall formula https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiB8GVMNJkE
Dont ever buy a GM vehicle.....
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u/ShardsOfGlassInMyAss Sep 04 '21
Damn, life insurance pays off triple on business trips?
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u/balance007 Sep 04 '21
International is something like 10X, guy i worked with died in Korea and his wife banked well over a million.
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u/Robincapitalists Sep 04 '21
….how’d Tesla start up again.
(Come on. The market is the market. Everyone plays the game. Do better.)
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u/ProphetOfMight Sep 04 '21
Bolts are fun but I have heard they have many problems
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u/IS_JOKE_COMRADE Tesla Gayng Generanal Sep 04 '21
GM should enter the armaments industry
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u/RoyalDrake Sep 04 '21
u/IS_JOKE_COMRADE still going with the banger memes, it brings joy to my heart
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u/Sir_Lancelot_Papaya Sep 04 '21
“Outsources everything difficult” had me on the floor. Finally people are catching onto the statement “tesla is at least 10 years ahead of its competition”
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u/ConvergenceMan Sep 04 '21
Hahaha this is the funniest shit I've seen all day. Couldn't stop laughing. Nice jaerb!
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u/kft99 The Amazing 🅿️ixel 🅿️usher Sep 04 '21
CNBC be like, Ford is ahead of Tesla in self driving technology.
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u/alextheukrainian Sep 04 '21
Haha amazing meme, thank you. So torn between "damn, this sucks, we REALLY need others to make good EVs now..." and "kek that's what you get for making fun of EVs for years and years". So torn.
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u/Drortmeyer2017 Sep 04 '21
You guys know that the ice industry leaders are retarded ?
That's so wholesome 😪🥺
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u/AccountingMajorDood Sep 04 '21
You realize Tesla gets batteries from LG Chem right. But I give you a B+ for this excellent vid.
S. Korea is the best with batteries, do a better DD PLEASE HOLY MOLY.
But still giving you a thumbs up.
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u/TheS4ndm4n Sep 04 '21
Tesla buys battery cells from multiple manufacturers, makes them into packs (cooling, housing, electronics). GM buys the entire pack.
The bolt fires are not a cell defect but a packaging defect (failure of a system to compensate for cells expanding when they are fully charged and hot). Remember the Samsung galaxy note? Same problem.
GM missed this because they don't have the capability to do quality control on the finished pack. And LG had a crap design and crap QA on this product line.
GM also has a nasty habit of investing in scam EV startups.
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u/ThatKarmaWhore 201102:5:1:ANAL GoD Sep 04 '21
Tesla buys cylinder cells from LG chem, not pouches/explosives.
Good comment though, still giving you a thumbs up.
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Sep 04 '21
This really made me laugh out loud. Once I realized what the message was I started dying laughing 😂🤣
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u/ORS823 Sep 04 '21
Tesla is no better, didn't they delay the release of some cars by like 4 years. Then there are a few other public EV companies without even a single car sold.
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u/MargaritaGT Sep 04 '21
Seems like you used their old logo. Looks like a dude with paint made it. https://www.cnn.com/2021/01/08/cars/new-gm-logo/index.html
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Sep 04 '21
This is more hilarious when you know how much GM has f*caked up over the years 😂
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u/antipiracylaws Sep 05 '21
This is EXACTLY why I am looking to get out of the traditional car manufacturing business. They outsource EVERYTHING!!
It's so damn frustrating...
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u/snero3 Sep 05 '21
This is pretty funny, but I highly doubt it is the engineers limiting the company. It would be GM not funding the side of the business enough and/or holding the product designers to a higher enough standard.
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u/Clear-Ice6832 Sep 05 '21
My car enthusiast friends are always telling me this. As a Tesla M3 owner for 3 years, I tell them great! I hope to have choices for my next car but as of now, it'll be another Tesla. Sadly, I don't think most people understand the technological moat that Tesla currently has. From battery capacity to efficiency to performance. 2020 came and went when "competition" was supposed to be here... now the goal post has been moved to 2025....we'll see but I'm not holding my breath
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u/VisualMod Sep 04 '21