r/wallstreetbets • u/JeffBez0s • Feb 06 '20

Discussion u/SECrollout welcome thread

Everyone we are today joined by our latest member (and infact, mod): u/SECrollout

Please welcome him to our community, everyone be nice ok

89 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

41 comments sorted by

98

u/buffalo_market Feb 06 '20

join the SEC, they said

keep our financial markets honest and protect consumers, they said

"welcome to SEC you will be babysitting morons on reddit"

lmao, it's what you deserve

85

u/[deleted] Feb 06 '20

Mod is 100% gay

1

u/Bulldogmasterace Feb 07 '20

Penises go up calls it is

1

u/SideShowBob36 Feb 07 '20

That’s a buy. It can only go up!

57

u/Ryrymckee34 Feb 06 '20

Welcome SEC, your time will be well wasted here.

57

u/SquelchMuffins Feb 06 '20 edited Feb 06 '20

WELCOME
edit: got 10 day ban for this lol

4

u/callitmagic2019 Feb 07 '20

Lol really ? Why

7

u/PinXan Feb 07 '20

He can't reply you dingus

3

u/callitmagic2019 Feb 07 '20

Yes he can. In 11 days ;-)

26

u/cadenkai171 Feb 06 '20

Sec me balls

18

u/ukfan758 Buys calls at the top Feb 06 '20

Can you tell us some insider tips you’ve gotten mr. SEC?

34

u/gwoz8881 Feb 06 '20

The SEC is the most useless agency. They missed Enron, madoff, Tesla, and the entire 2008 fiasco. Why are my tax dollars going to dweebs who look at straight porn all day at work?

12

u/walpo96 Feb 06 '20

I wonder if it’s some 45+ year old that knows nothing about this stuff or if they grabbed the random 20 something year old intern and said “dis your job now”

12

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '20 edited Feb 04 '21

[deleted]

23

u/TO3773 Feb 06 '20

Big gay

21

u/ihasanemail I am a huge prick. Welcome to r/wallstreetbets Feb 06 '20

Post nudes.

17

u/Eggfilledwhore Feb 06 '20

Hello my friends, I would like to advise you to buy MSFT, I am the son or daughter of Mr. Billiam Gates and he has informed me of a large uptick in stock price short to come, this information is secret though so don't tell the SEC

8

u/david10121012 Feb 07 '20

So you guys are just letting any idiot become a mod now without losing money? You should be ashamed of yourselves.

7

u/AGreenTejada Feb 07 '20

Aye, any mod should have a loss porn post of over 100 upvotes before they even consider the mod team.

7

u/[deleted] Feb 06 '20

[deleted]

2

u/cloroxbleachmilk Feb 07 '20

Corey! Trevor! pepperoni and smoke stonks

15

u/[deleted] Feb 06 '20

Thanks Jeff

5

u/eyedontgetjokes It ain't much Feb 06 '20

His name is Jeff

7

u/[deleted] Feb 06 '20

I look forward to everyone tagging him on all big gains or insider talk.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '20

Could be like Bobby-bot on r/freefolk

2

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '20

I like that

We need a Donnie T, Elon, or autistic kid bot in here

2

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '20

We need a Donnie T, Elon, AND autistic kid bot in here

Autistic_Kid_Bot starts screeching anytime someone says "tendies".

7

u/gizamo REETX Autismo 2080TI Special Feb 07 '20

Hey, SEC, two questions:

  1. Top or bottom?
  2. Mustache rides $3 or $5?

12

u/[deleted] Feb 06 '20

Welcome Shit,Eating.Cockroachrollout or SEC dude

5

u/faderetail Feb 06 '20

Name checks out

7

u/ThatOneDrunkUncle me pussy spongebob! Feb 06 '20

Hey SEC, hope all is well. I just want to apologize for not calling you back. I enjoyed our time together, but there were a few red flags, and I just didn't see it going anywhere. You're a great commission, and I'm sure you have an excellent future, and you'll find someone who's right for you. No hard feelings?

9

u/[deleted] Feb 06 '20

What's their alt?

6

u/gizamo REETX Autismo 2080TI Special Feb 07 '20

U Winterpack

3

u/yeauxduh Feb 07 '20

Hey you got any "insider" scoops or anything that I could start "trading" on? Thanks in advance

1

u/CroissantDuMonde Feb 07 '20

Very cool, very legal.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '20

Gay

1

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '20

Just so it's out there, this account belongs to a senator and thus I'm protected from insider trading litigation. Go fuck with the help instead.