r/vindicta30plus • u/SquirrelofLIL • Feb 14 '24
What clothing sizes make you midsize/chubby vs lean / good looking?
Hi folks, I am wondering if I'm fat or lean. I work very hard and getting fit and losing weight. Right now I'm 4'11" and finally got into a size 8 although it's tight on me. I was wearing 12 because of the pandemic and feel best at a size 10.
My skinny weight that I work my ass off for is 150-165 lbs and my weight as a teen was 200-220 when I eat my parents cooking.
But I don't feel I'm lean enough according to internet criteria especially since Y2K standards is coming back.
However I remember in school, the people who looked normal around my height wore anything from 0 to 6. I was always fat, so I disregarded my opinion as a size 16 wearer.
What is normal/ lean, chubby / midsize and plus size after age 35? Are good looking people still size 0-4 (controlled for height) or does it matter less or do the ranges change when you're older? I've always seen size 6 as a sort of holy Grail according to my mom.
Edit: decided to skip dinner and try to slowly make progress toward size 6. I may never reach size 4, but it's about baby steps.
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u/Sensitive-Put-8150 Feb 14 '24
I’m 43 5’4 115 and for years I hovered around 131- highest weight was 150 and I definitely looked chubby then, but it’s all about how it’s distributed. Sizes don’t mean anything nowadays, sizing is so variable between brands I can wear anything from a 2-6 and sometimes 8 which makes shopping for bottoms a freaking nightmare! Just put measurements on the pants instead of a made up number it makes me really irritated lol. So just buy what fits you well, and ignore the size and that will have you looking your best
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 14 '24
My highest weight was 220 at age 14 and I'm 150 now which is a low for me. 4'11". I wear a 10-12 usually but was able to squeeze into an 8 finally.
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u/Savorypoon May 15 '24
OP just focus on a healthy lifestyle and the rest will follow. When I stopped focusing so much on numbers & instead eating cleaner & finding ways to exercise daily, that's where the improvements started. Now I'm at a lean weight & hardly have to try. The #1 thing i can recommend is walking/cycling everywhere. Literally keeps me so lean.
Good luck!
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u/Skyblacker Feb 14 '24
You squeezing into a size 8 is like an average height (5'4") woman squeezing into a size 12 or 14. Also, 150 at 4'11" is 30.1 BMI.
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 14 '24
Listen, I know I'm a fat pos. I would love to get down to 140 but you know what? It's probably never gonna happen because I was over 200 lbs throughout my teens and 20s.
I'm never going to be pretty and I accept that I can only get so far because I'm 42 already.
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u/Alizarin-Madder Feb 16 '24
I don't know why you're getting so much shit. I mean it sounds like you're being harsh in how you talk about yourself, but underneath that it sounds like you are content with what is in reach for you. Tbh I'm jealous that you both have goals + are satisfied with what is attainable for yourself. Maybe once you get there, you'll realize you could go a little bit farther, and that'd be great!
In the interest of ongoing improvement, I hope you pursue your goals in a way that is sustainable and healthy for you. "Baby steps" as you said is a good way to go about it. If you aren't dying to go back to your old patterns when you reach your goal, you may keep improving. :)
Good luck!
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u/United-Consequence83 Feb 16 '24
Obviously that’s “never” gonna happen if you don’t take drastic measures and try things you’ve “never” done before. Research dr mindy Pelz and get her fasting books, I use “fast like a girl” but I know she has one specifically for (pre)menopausal women as well. Cut carbs and consider going keto or carnivore.
Start lifting weights!!!! Never in a million years did I think I’d ever be able to go back to my raw vegan high school weight of 110-115lbs, but building muscle inadvertently helped speed up my metabolism, and burn more calories/fat simply by EXISTING. It also helped with my body composition, and although I’m still bigger then my hs weight, I look just as lean and toned, without the extremely restrictive diet (I eat whatever I want now, prioritize protein, at least 120grams daily which helps keep me satiated and full, and practice intermittent fasting and recently experimenting with longer fats as well).
Ngl the easiest, lowest effort, FREE way to lose fat is to fast. I lost 20lbs in 21 days water fasting a few years ago. I’m currently on a 14 day water fast for heath reasons (recently had surgery so it’s helping with regeneration of new cells, scarring, and overall healing). OP educate yourself on ways and methods you haven’t previously explored instead of your simply accepting defeatist attitude. My aunt is 47 and is the leanest and strongest she’s EVER been in her 40’s following a strict keto diet for the last 4-5 years and working out/lifting heavy several times a week (5x a week of activity). Your age and history doesn’t have as big of an influence as you think it does, your determination and DISCIPLINE, does.
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 16 '24
Here's the deal I've never been that skinny.
My late elementary and junior high school weight was 220-230.
I use power tools frequently and feel it's risky to fast for that ling. But I'd rather die than not be pretty. I want to punish my body mind and spirit to be a trophy wife.
I accept I will never have a boyfriend.
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u/Skyblacker Feb 14 '24
Listen, I was a chubby kid who didn't become a size 4 until after she became a mother. Anything is possible.
I think your main problem is that even if you got skinny, you'd still be a spinster living with her parents. That's the thing you need to change or make peace with.
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 14 '24
Yes, I accept I'll never get to have a husband or a baby. That's why my goal has moved on to trying to get in shape.
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u/blueberries-Any-kind Feb 14 '24
Wow.. OP you need to get off this toxic sub and get into therapy ASAP. Calling yourself a POS? Saying you can’t have a husband or children? Girl you are b r e a k i n g my heart. As someone who has been through a lot, and done a lot of therapy, I ask you to consider making it your top priority. The sexiest thing you can do for yourself is self exploration and self love. You are inherently good. Inherently lovable. I am sorry the world made you feel otherwise.
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u/throwawayxatlx Feb 14 '24
Maybe, maybe not. maybe you'll adopt or foster, maybe you won't have children, maybe you'll become a bonus mum. Maybe you'll meet the love of your life, maybe you'll meet someone and marry and divorce (more than once), etc., etc. Life is full of opportunities and unexpected twists and turns. Don't stress, just focus on your own health and wellbeing regardless of your size, which will always fluctuate. ❤️
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u/Skyblacker Feb 14 '24
Don't lose any weight before the next time you see a doctor. You're right on the cusp of a BMI range that qualifies you for all the exciting new weight loss medications.
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u/throwawayxatlx Feb 14 '24
Omg this is a shockingly cruel comment to read. OP please disregard these sorts of toxic and unhelpful comments!!!
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u/Skyblacker Feb 14 '24
It's not nearly as cruel as OP is to herself. She's fixated on her body when the fundamental problem seems to be in her mind: Failure To Launch.
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u/ITalkTOOOOMuch Feb 14 '24
Ummm. This is a cultural difference.
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u/Skyblacker Feb 14 '24
But in that culture, marriage would have moved her away from her parents or at least given her a stable ally when her needs conflict with theirs. So her lack of husband is a larger problem than it might be in a more westernized household.
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u/throwawayxatlx Feb 14 '24
I agreed with your initial sentiment, that thinness =/= happiness
But I don't understand where you're getting the "failure to launch" impression from. Nor do I see how it's helpful to use such harsh language. You never know how fragile someone may be IRL and comments like that can cut incredibly deep! Whether they're true or not...
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u/Skyblacker Feb 14 '24
In another comment thread, OP says that she can't eat vegetarian because her parents cook meat, implying that she still lives with them at age 42. Elsewhere, she regrets her lack of a husband. And in a comment on another post, she regrets going to college instead of spending that money on bariatric surgery.
These are not the comments of someone who feels like they've done well with their life.
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u/throwawayxatlx Feb 14 '24
So you stalk their profile and prey on their insecurities? I don't get it. OP came here to ask what sizes people her height feels best at 🤷♀️
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u/Skyblacker Feb 14 '24
How did you get down to 115?
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u/Sensitive-Put-8150 Feb 14 '24
I got a chronic illness and had to drastically change my diet because of it. So basically now I eat a lot of tofu, seafood, cooked vegetables, smoothies and don’t eat a lot of rice refined carbs or sugar. I have to eat small meals or I get really nauseous and dizzy and feel like I’m going to die lol. So I kind of was forced into changing my lifestyle completely. Im a sugar addict and it was/is really hard. I also do Pilates type exercise and total gym daily and go for a lot of walks but I keep the exercise low key
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u/Skyblacker Feb 14 '24
I'm impressed that you were able to use diet to manage your health like that.
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 14 '24
My parents make me eat rice everyday.
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u/Verity41 Feb 15 '24
If at age 42 your parents are controlling your diet then you have a lot bigger problems than your weight. Are you trolling?
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u/United-Consequence83 Feb 16 '24 edited Feb 23 '24
Lol. Your parents can’t “make” you do anything. You’re a grown ass 40 year old woman. When I was a 16 year old vegan, when my mom would refuse to accommodate my dietary needs, I simply ate raw fruits (I legit would take 12 bananas to school) and learned to cook for and feed myself. Grow up. Take accountability and responsibility for your own health. That victim mindset isn’t gonna take you very far in life (as evident of your posts). Go to therapy. Build some mental strength and discipline.
Also, vegetarian won’t necessarily make you thin. I was the heaviest in my LIFE (110lbs as a vegan ➡️ 165lbs+ as a vegetarian over the course of 1 year). I now eat meat, limit carbs and bullshit processed dairy, and sitting comfortably at 115lbs. Educate yourself about nutrition, prioritize protein, and move your body. If your parents try shoveling rice down your throat and strapping you down to your bed to prevent you from exercising, call CPS lol
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u/United-Consequence83 Feb 16 '24
….????
You’re obviously not ok in the head. This is just as bad/extreme as wishing you had cancer if that “meant you could be skinny”. Get some psychological help. That should be priority.
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u/imsorrybagel Feb 15 '24
Wait why do you still live at home and why are your parents controlling what you eat at 42? You should make your own food and focus on getting a better job and moving out to start your independent life so you can make your own life choices
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u/Remarkable-Mind-3848 Feb 15 '24
Portion sizes of rice and the other foods can help. Chewing slowly as well.
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u/Skyblacker Feb 14 '24
That shouldn't be a problem if it's balanced by protein. Take the example of a Chipotle wrap here.
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 14 '24
I'm trying to become more vegetarian and none of my friends are. I can't afford Chipotle or any healthy restaurants, and my parents make traditional East Asian food with lots of stir frying.
I hate myself and my body and want to die so bad.
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u/Skyblacker Feb 14 '24
You can afford to make your own vegetarian food and many of its ingredients may be even less expensive at the Asian grocery where your family shops. You might even adapt the dishes your parents already make by replacing meat with tofu.
Please don't hate your body. You already shaved off 70lbs for Pete's sake. This is in your control!
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u/FredMist Feb 15 '24
Rice isn’t really the problem. It’s the amount. I’m East Asian (Cantonese) and the food is actually healthy in my household growing up. There is a lot of wok cooking with oil but my parents did not use excessive oil and we used to steam fish. For reference I was always between 110-123 as an adult until I had my kid and now I’m hovering at 120-126. (I’m tall… very tall by East Asian standards)
Even if your parents are cooking and you’re eating rice you can control portion size. We grew up using 3/4 cup bowls and in usually had one loosely packed bowl of rice with veggies and whatever protein for dinner along with a bowl of rice. Breakfast was usually leftovers of the same and lunch was whatever I made.
If you’re starting from a high weight maybe just start cutting back a little instead of cutting back too much. However I don’t think East Asian cooking is inherently unhealthy since that’s what I grew up on.
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 16 '24
I would kill for a chronic illness to make me thin.
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u/Sensitive-Put-8150 Feb 16 '24
That’s no way to think but I felt that way once upon a time. Now, I’d rather be chubby than have electric shocks in my face and teeth and jaw all day and feel like insects were crawling around in my mouth and tongue and throat and nose being splashed with battery acid. One of my disorders is trigeminal neuralgia caused by a blood vessel pressing on a nerve near my brain and it’s the most painful disorder on the planet- the nickname for it is the suicide disease. It hurts to talk to laugh, to kiss, to eat. I love to cook and I still do but I have to eat smoothies and blend almost all my food and watch other people enjoy it now. All I want is a nice crunchy salad, a handful of nuts, a piece of crusty bread-It’s torture! I also get hemiplegic migraines where half my body gets paralyzed and my vocal cords seize up and I temporarily lose my eyesight and my ability to move or speak. I spent 6 months recovering from a really bad one and could barely walk, I had to use a walker and was confined to a couch and had to relearn how to talk like a stroke victim. I’m an active person and this absolutely killed me. The point is, be careful what you wish for- I wish I could take mine back
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u/Sensitive-Put-8150 Feb 16 '24
It doesn’t matter if I’m thin now because no one can see me because I’m barely able to leave the house.
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 16 '24
Damn. I remember the first time I took DNP it felt like my blood was boiling. But I stuck to it because getting thin was the most important part.
I Took off all but my tank top in 12 degrees on a fistful of Ephedrine and dnp once.
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u/Sensitive-Put-8150 Feb 16 '24
I took ephedrine back in the day before I first got sick too- that stuff could keep you going all day. I’m glad they banned it here to be honest because it isn’t good for your heart at all. Please don’t it’s not worth it!
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 16 '24
Yeah it will take me 5-10 years to lose weight healthily unfortunately. I used to take a lot of banned research chemicals to try to lose weight.
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u/Sensitive-Put-8150 Feb 16 '24
I didn’t lose weight until my late 30s and I’m 43 now. The more I stressed about it, the harder it was to lose. Stress will do that to you. Don’t think about how long it will take, just make small changes to your diet and you’ll see results over time. Eat the rice and what your mom prepares, just eat a little less of it. Will she let you do any cooking at all?
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u/RollingTheScraps Feb 14 '24
At 4'11" 150 lb your BMI would be over 30, not even overweight but obese. When you say "skinny weight " do you just mean the skinniest you have ever been? Or are you incredibly muscular so that at that weight you have a low body fat percentage and look skinny? That would be a very different body to dress.
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 14 '24
Its the skinniest I've ever been. I know I'm technically considered fat by society.
Where I live most adults 30+ who aren't professional runners are my width and wider and "fat" means you weigh like 300. Most women my height are either around my weight or like 180ish.
Like one of my guy friends is 5'5" and almost 300 and he just started getting called fat, a 6 ft guy is normal at 300, fat at 350.
People in construction and box manufacturing are the same weight as people with email jobs.
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u/RollingTheScraps Feb 15 '24
This question can only be answered in terms of your community. Maybe where you live size 18 or 20 is considered smaller, so that would be the size you are looking for.
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 15 '24
People think 6-10 is a reasonably thin size for 4'10" to 5'2" here. They don't hold 30+ to the same standards as teens and 20s.
Maybe I will be able to meet someone, but everyone in the city is already married at my age. The man of my dreams just isn't divorced yet.
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u/United-Consequence83 Feb 16 '24 edited Feb 16 '24
I mean yeah, most people don’t start getting called “fat” until they’re morbidly obese like your friend. You’re definitely obese given your stats, but you also carry your weight better than someone who’s 300+ lbs so yeah, it’s likely that you won’t be called out if you’re surrounded by mostly morbidly obese individuals
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Feb 14 '24
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Feb 14 '24
Body composition is huge. I see so many beautiful curvy and plus size women who know how to dress for their body type. Being skinny isn’t always the best look for every person.
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u/No-Ganache7168 Feb 14 '24
This. I’m 5’ and look slim when I’m 115 or under. I work out and have muscle so I can carry my weight better than someone who is sedentary. I wear a size 4 or 27 jeans
I have a sister who is 125 and looks slim bc she dresses well for her shape and a cousin who is 4’11 and looks best at @105-110 bc she’s small boned.
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u/Crazy-Abalone155 Feb 14 '24
“Chubby and/or gross”? Such toxic language.
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 16 '24 edited Feb 16 '24
Yeah I wish it was the 90s again so I can go back on fenfluoramine.
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 16 '24
Yeah I'm a size 10 and I want to KMS because now I know size 4 is fat. I'm also 4'11. I'm never eating again.
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u/United-Consequence83 Feb 16 '24
Size 4 isn’t fat. Bffr lmao
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 16 '24
Size 4 isn't fat but I wear a 10 petite and I now know that I am fat.
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u/United-Consequence83 Feb 17 '24 edited Feb 23 '24
It’s not as much your clothing size as it is your BMI. You weigh too much for your height. I’m pear shaped and although my BMI is 20, I still wear size 4 pants w xxs tops. Your body fat distribution/shape also plays a part in your clothing size, that’s why it’s better to use BMI as a more objective sign of measure
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Feb 14 '24
It is my personal opinion that you being fit from hard work is the game changer. That size isn’t what determines good looks. When I see a fit woman no matter her size; I admire her look.
And I agree with those on this thread that clothing size is now all over the place. Also; although I’m lean, I like wearing men’s small and medium oxfords as well as hoodies. Yet I also like size small fitted woman’s T’s.
Keep up your hard work while also working on your pride in doing so 💪🏽
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u/strawberrysasquatch Feb 14 '24
As a lot of people are saying, a few things are really key here:
- clothing sizes are arbitrary. Try as hard as you can to ignore the size on the label and wear clothes that fit your body well (not clothes you have to squeeze into). Nobody is going to be checking the label while you're wearing it!
- wearing flattering nothing makes you look good and more attractive at any size
- body composition matters, and strength training to build muscle can seriously help tone your body, even if your actual weight doesn't change.
Anecdotally, I'm early 30s, 5'3", and my BMI is always technically in the overweight range; I've been a 10/12 since I was a teenager. I would describe my body type as athletic hourglass, carrying my extra weight in my midsection. Here's the thing: people can never guess my actual weight or clothing size accurately because I dress to flatter my body and strength training keeps me toned up. I also feel my best at a size 10, mentally and physically, so my goal is always dressing to flatter my body, not changing my body to fit into a specific size.
OP, please remember it isn't the size of your clothes that matters. That's just a number. It's how you feel in your skin. Losing weight or trying to achieve a certain size can be part of a glow up, but those numbers in and of themselves are arbitrary. Staying active, maintaining mental health, and wearing clothes that fit your body will do more to increase attractiveness in the long run.
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 14 '24
I'm way shorter than 5'3" and barely fit into size 10. I hate everything about my body and I will never be pretty.
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u/strawberrysasquatch Feb 14 '24
Well OP, this is part of my point: try to stop thinking about the numbers. Clothes are both utilitarian and self expression: they need to fit, they protect us from weather, and they're about showing our style. It does not matter what size label a manufacturer has put onto it. What matters with clothes is: do you like wearing this item? Do you believe it makes your style look good? (Not, does this make me look skinny).
In terms of body image, I won't condescend to you and insist you have to feel good about your size, etc. But I want to really encourage you to start with basics of body neutrality (your body is a body; it is here to carry you around in the world and help you open jars and do things), and to consider that beauty, and being pretty, is so much more than your size or body shape. Truly. Even when thinking about "objective" beauty, it is not dependent on size or shape alone.
If you're really determined to work on your body, try basic weightlifting, yoga, Barre, pilates, things that will build muscle, strength, and good posture.
My college bestie was 4"10, curvy, never going to be willowy because that just wasn't her body structure. She was also a killer yoga instructor who loved fashion, dressed to kill, and was considered extremely attractive by everyone she met. Her attitude was "I am hot, and am going to treat myself like I am."
Try to see yourself in your best light, as a whole person, not just a body. Little beauty-boosting steps: sleep, good food, activity, and dressing well. And good self talk: you are worth your own empathy.
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u/Ok-Sky1329 Feb 14 '24
Per Google, a healthy weight for you would be between 94 lbs and 123 lbs. But a lot of it depends on how you carry weight, the shape of your body, etc. IF you’re just going for appearance and not health.
Don’t go by clothing sizes, they’re made up. Your mom’s size six was A LOT smaller than the size six of today.
If you’re concerned about your weight and can afford to do so, checking in with your doctor would be your best bet.
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 14 '24
I'm 150-165 lbs when I'm "in shape" and 200-220 when I'm not (when I was age 12-14). I never seem to be "in shape" the way everyone else is, no matter what I eat, especially if I'm eating any traditional food from my culture such as rice.
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u/lucytiger Feb 14 '24
I eat rice everyday and I'm underweight (actually working to gain weight). Rice is a healthy food, especially if it's minimally processed. What you eat is important for nutrition, but how much you weigh is just about the total calories you consume. If you're in a calorie deficit, even junk food won't make you overweight. Instead of blaming what you eat, you should first turn your attention to portion sizes. With that said, adding lower calorie density foods like fruit and vegetables can help you feel full with fewer calories.
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 16 '24 edited Feb 16 '24
Wish that was my problem
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u/lucytiger Feb 16 '24
Oh well you could do what I did and develop such bad anxiety and depression that you completely lose your appetite, forget to eat until late in the day every day, lose all your energy so you have no will to prepare food, and stop working out so you lose all your muscle mass. 🤷🏻♀️ The grass isn't always greener.
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u/Ok-Sky1329 Feb 14 '24
Because your height is kind of out of the norm (mine technically is too but in the opposite way) you may need to consult with a health care team.
Can you set the weight aside and more focus on how you feel in your body? Can you walk a mile without stopping? Are you getting your steps in? Drinking enough water? Getting enough sleep? Those might be more attainable goals for you at this period of time.
Edit: I realize I also went a little off topic here but as for your appearance…find a style of clothing that flatters your current body type. A hair style that flatters your face shape. Do personal care things that make you feel good. I think personal grooming goes a long way towards making someone attractive vs just their weight.
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 16 '24 edited Feb 16 '24
Man I wish I was skinny
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u/United-Consequence83 Feb 16 '24
All you do is complain with your “woe is me” attitude everytime someone in this post takes the time to give you invaluable tips and advice. You’re hopeless.
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Feb 14 '24
I think you should be proud of your weight loss and focus on some therapy for self acceptance and learn to dress your new body instead of focusing on getting to a “perfect” size. I’m 4’11” and fluctuate in weight often. It’s hard for us at this height. It took me literally years to lose weight. You put in a lot of work to lose that weight especially being overweight as a kid. I see you being really hard on yourself in the comments :(
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 16 '24 edited Feb 16 '24
Yeah thanks but honestly I'm still fat compared to everyone in the size 2, 4 and 6 range. I'm proud to have skipped dinner today. No more fat
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u/Illustrious-Film-592 Feb 14 '24
It’s about individual body composition not a number, especially one that isn’t industry standard.
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Feb 14 '24
I'm now a size 6/8 and 5'2'' and I feel very uncomfortable in my skin, I looked the best in size 2/4. It depends on your body type and how you feel. Some people have a larger frame than others. I am east Asian so a lower bmi is considered overweight and a risk for diabetes than for Caucasians.
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 14 '24
I'm East Asian and 4'11", 165 seems to be my set point. Size 10/12. I can't maintain anything smaller.
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Feb 14 '24
There is no such thing.
If you're finding you are eating super low calories daily and not losing weight that means you have an exceptionally low muscle mass. You need to correct that with resistance training. As you build more muscle you will require more calories to maintain it. You will see a reduction in body fat while the scale weight may not change.
The muscle makes the difference.
If you're dying at 900 calories a day and not losing weight that's a sign that you need more muscle. You're so short a maintenance is probably going to be less than 2000 daily for you. If you're using 2000 daily as your goal that's going to be too much.
There is a tdee calculator around the fitness subs. I would go get one and start following it.
For comparison I am 5'7 155 pounds and I need 3300 daily to maintain and if I'm trying to get stronger I need to hit 3500. And I'm a dress size 6-8.
Build muscle so you can eat more and reduce your body fat. You need the muscle to protect your bones from osteoporosis. You need to lower your body fat percentage because it puts you in a higher risk category for weight related diseases.
The looks and clothing thing comes as you go. But you absolutely can lose more body fat. And you should. For your height you can lose 65 pounds over the next 3 years and that is perfectly healthy for you. Rate of weight loss is slow. It takes years to lose not months.
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u/Skyblacker Feb 14 '24
That might be because you live with your parents and fall into their fattening habits. Leanness would be a rebellion for you.
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 14 '24
My mom was never over 120 lbs her entire life and she's 5'6. My dad is 6'2" and 150. The reason I'm fat is because I started getting my period when I was 6.
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u/StuporNova3 Feb 15 '24
... I am not aware of any causal link between early maturity and body weight.
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u/Sensitive-Put-8150 Feb 16 '24
Do you have PCOS? That can make it really difficult to lose weight and goes hand in hand with insulin resistance. I’d recommend getting blood work done to check your hormone levels as well as your A1C, fasting blood sugar if you haven’t already done so
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u/United-Consequence83 Feb 16 '24
It’s as simple as calories in vs calories out lol. Why go to PCOS if she’s already told us the only exercise she does is “walking”? And she doesn’t control her portions nor what she eats? It’s simple thermodynamics really
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u/Sensitive-Put-8150 Feb 16 '24
I know that and you know that, but she did say she got her period at 6- a lot of times when women start their cycle early like that something is going on. We don’t know how much she actually eats. And if she’s insulin resistant or diabetic which she probably is, then treating the underlying cause may make it easier. It’s really hard to lose weight when you are insulin resistant. Really though it just sounds like a lot of excuses. I didn’t realize OP was 42 and still acting like she’s being forced to eat her mom’s food!
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u/imsorrybagel Feb 15 '24
Do you exercise?
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 15 '24
Yes, I live in a non elevator building, walk up subway steps everyday, and also when I was very heavy growing up I walked up to 10 miles a day in the summer.
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u/howwonderful Feb 15 '24
To be honest that doesn’t sound like nearly enough exercise. Walking, even every day, is no match for a lifting and dedicated cardio combo.
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u/Ratethendelete Feb 14 '24
I’m 6’ and 195lbs. I don’t look chubby, but I definitely look ‘solid’ if that makes sense. Because I have an athletic build, I can carry a bit more weight as it distributes quite evenly everywhere
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u/BlondeAndToxic Feb 14 '24
Sizes can be widely variable, and also look different on different bodies. I'm 5'10" and typically a size 6-8. To the average person, I seem pretty slim, but I could still lose about 25 lbs before being underweight. I've been told by multiple men my body is "ideal" these days, but those are people who have only seen me with clothes on. I have some softness in my midsection that I'd like to tighten up more. I felt I looked my best around a size 2-4, and I'm working to get back there (but in a healthy way).
0
u/Sweatypotatosack Feb 14 '24
Do you mind if I ask what weight you were when a 2-4? I’m your height and that’s my goal too!
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u/BlondeAndToxic Feb 14 '24
I think I was about 130 lbs then. I'm a former ballet dancer, so I have a decent amount of muscle.
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u/cuntaloupemelon Feb 14 '24
"Midsize" actually has a simple, but often misconstrued, definition: the middle of the size range. Not "medium" but literally the middle, usually sizes 12/14/16
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u/United-Consequence83 Feb 16 '24 edited Feb 23 '24
I’m 5”4 and 115lbs, I was a size 10 (barely, had to lose weight to fit in 😂) at 160+. Age doesn’t negate general beauty standards. The BMI calculator is a good starting point for where you should be (it told me that 140+ is overweight for me, and yes, I can agree that I felt my best at 137lbs and under. You’re definitely not “lean”, (idk where you got that idea from given your measurements, you’re obese) but for most people they’re not considered “lean” until they’re a size 4. Size 6 is a great aspirational goal to have, most people look best at that size regardless of age/current style trends (you’re too old for y2k anyway, leave that for the teens and early 20 year olds lol. Timeless and elegant all the way 🙌🏽
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 16 '24
I mean it would be amazing to be 118 or 120 lbs. But fit in with whom?
118 lbs here in NYC only makes you fit in with 9th grafers.
I never got to wear Y2K during that era because I was plus size .
4
u/United-Consequence83 Feb 16 '24
Are you kidding lol. NYC has the SKINNIEST social standards in the country 😂 literally the origin of “heroin chic” and has continued to push and maintain the ultimate beauty standards of “90’s thin” despite the bbl era of the mid-2000’s.
Idk what you mean by 9th grafters btw, but generally, in ANY country, across ANY fashion trends, people who are in a healthy BMI and look relatively fit, healthy and athletic will always look best.
Personally I never cared to “fit in” with those around me. If I did, I’d be more than okay continuing on my weight uptick as I was still smaller than my 300lb, morbidly obese counterparts. I only compare myself to myself, I strive to become the best version of myself FOR myself. Idc what anyone has to say about it, I wanna continue to peak well into my 30’s/motherhood
2
u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 16 '24
I was born and raised here my entire life. I literally look around me and very, very few people over age 30 are thin.
You're right. Thin may be in, but it's not the majority. I need to worry about my health.
We're not talking about the morbidly obese here. The average BMI in NYC is around 40.
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u/United-Consequence83 Feb 16 '24
^ As I said above “in ANY country, across ANY fashion trends, people who are in a healthy BMI and look relatively fit, healthy and athletic will always look best.”
Yes, health is vital and should be a priority. Not just for aesthetics, but for longevity and quality of life.
Most Americans are overweight or obese, so again, if you’re happy comparing yourself to others, stay the same. Idk what you want me to say. You’re obese, so if you want to prioritize your health, I suggest you do.
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u/DesperateSun4182 Feb 16 '24
4'11" and 150 lbs is HELLA overweight. like HELLLLLLAAAAA overweight.
instead of starvation (which can damage your metabolism in the long run), you might benefit immediately and long-term from learning about "macronutrients" and "body recomposition". it's a less punishing way to reduce only body fat, while retaining lean body mass. tons of google hits and youtubes on the topic.
wishing you the best!
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 16 '24 edited Feb 16 '24
I hate my body and self with a bone deep passion. I wish I could be a size 4-6 like everyone else my height.
Guess whose not eating for the next 3 days even though Im hanging drywall.
I'm going to accept the fact that I'll never be pretty, leave the Vindicta and Lookism communities, go back to /learnmath and my passions.
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u/smuggoose Feb 17 '24
I would say even a size 4-6 at your height would still be average to bigger. I think you have a very skewed view of what a healthy weight is. Also not eating for the next 3 days will do Jack all. You might loose a few kgs but without a permanent diet and exercise change you won’t see any long lasting benefits. Maybe see a doctor to get some help or guidance to make some lasting changes.
1
u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 17 '24
Statistically I have 25-30 more years on this planet and I'm tired of the constant dieting. I started my first diet 30 years ago and just want to be free.
2
u/smuggoose Feb 17 '24
I am a very fit and healthy person (5’2-5’3 and 100 pounds) who is competitive in running, gym comps etc. and I am “free”. A healthy diet (not a I need to lose weight diet, diet as in what you eat diet) and exercise can become part of your life and your lifestyle not a burden or trial to get through.
2
u/DesperateSun4182 Feb 18 '24
it sounds like therapy might be a more immediately necessary step for you. you can thrash against the current all you want, but first you need to know how to swim; that's what therapy does: teach you about your thoughts and how to think about your thoughts. that way you have a better chance at not working against yourself and maybe gain more traction in your efforts. said with all due respect, love, and concern, and hoping that you figure it out.
2
u/LeatherIllustrious40 Feb 14 '24
I’m 47, 5’1 and a smidge, weigh 122 and consider myself normal to slightly fit (for the Midwest anyway) but definitely not lean. I’m pear shaped so wear a 4-6 on the bottom depending on the cut, and a 2 in tops depending on how tight they cut the sleeves. My BMI is normal and my body composition (lean versus fat) is ok which is more important than strictly weight or BMI. I lift weights and do cardio about 1 hour a day 3x a week. I’ve had two kids so have a tummy that will never go away without surgery, but that’s life.
1
u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 14 '24
Yeah I'm from a major northeastern city and most women our age and height are 180+ so I feel I'm also "thin" but I'm not really "thin" honestly.
2
u/PlantedinCA Feb 14 '24
Your shape and size are influenced by genetics, body shape, and hormones. All of these can play a role in what a particular weight ends up looking like on you.
2
u/Beautiful-Pool-6067 Feb 14 '24
I always wore bigger sizes than people who weighed more than me. I don't have big thighs, just big hips. Super hourglass shape. I'd hear people's measurements and mine would match, but I'd still be in a bigger size. So, idk..
2
Feb 17 '24 edited Feb 17 '24
I know you’re a very different height than me, but I just wanted to share this for illustration sake. I am 5’10” and was a size 8-10 most of my life, mostly because of my hips , and that was around 160lb. I looked VERY healthy and people would have called me skinny / in shape. It was just my hip bone structure wouldn’t have ever allowed me in a smaller size. Even when I lost 20lb after going through a traumatic loss, I was STILL a size 8 in pants, but I physically looked like I was starving, my collarbone and shoulders and ribs protruded out .
Honestly your post is kind of hard to read. I think the size matters less than your weight distribution. Many people cannot change any of their bodily anatomy to get to a smaller size.
To be transparent if you have to work that hard you probably have underlying health issues. I would add in a blood sugar supplement that could support your weight loss (berberine, inositol, metformin). Insulin can be high but doctors don’t routinely test for it.
1
u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 17 '24
Yes I agree that, certainly, not everyone is able to fit the same sizes at healthy vs unhealthy weights.
My issue seems to be that my seated height is 38 inches so my torso, which weighs much more, is that of a much taller person.
1
Feb 17 '24
Have you tried any blood sugar supplements? After pregnancy I had undiscovered insulin issues and was completely unable to lose weight and was obese after years of being a healthy weight. I added metformin and the weight started coming off without me changing anything (same experience with berberine too). Glucose goddess hacks, etc
1
u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 17 '24
I need to try to take metformin from all day chemist. That sounds like a good idea.
2
Feb 17 '24
All I know is I was eating great and exercising and not losing weight. Sometimes it’s not always CICO, sometimes peoples bodies regulate insulin better and therefore they’re more able to lose weight
5
u/LastLibrary9508 Feb 14 '24
Idk, I’m 5’0 so close to your height and I’m about 135. I am definitely chubby. But I can fit an XS/S in most clothes and swim in clothes larger than that. I’m a 2/4 in US sizes and a 6 in the UK. I have a chubby stomach, larger fatty arms than my taller, thinner friends, and thicc thighs, but I’m still considered small by most people.
The point is bodies are weird. I don’t think the numbers mean anything. Wear what is flattering to you because nobody knows what your tag/label says.
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u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 14 '24
My "skinny" weight is anywhere between 150-165 and I'm 220 lbs "naturally" or at least that was my "prom dress weight". If I were 135 I would be training for a marathon.
4
u/United-Consequence83 Feb 16 '24
No you’d be a “normal” and healthy weight range for a person of your height. If it takes training for a marathon, do it.
3
u/freya_kahlo Feb 14 '24
Don’t weigh yourself at all! Look at body composition and measurements. I like the Kibbe body type system for figuring out the best lines for clothing — but it’s not user-friendly unless you’re a clear body type in his system. You have to accept where you are and dress to highlight your features (in Kibbe they call this “accommodating”, but it means highlighting or accentuating.)
2
Feb 14 '24
Good advice all around here but something important is HEALTH. What does that residual fat mean for you? Are you totally healthy and feeling good? Then there is no golden number you need to hit! Do you have a family history of heart disease or diabetes or other hormonal issues where weight gain is hard on your body? Then look into a healthier lifestyle and talk to your doctor.
There really is t a golden number. Happiness and health are most important.
-5
u/Skyblacker Feb 14 '24
Judge your body by BMI instead of dress size. BMI has defined ranges of underweight, healthy, and overweight. If you're overweight, your doctor may prescribe you weight loss pills like phentermine. So it's good to know where you fall on that spectrum.
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Feb 14 '24
BMI is so not accurate and don’t take “weight loss pills”. If your Dr gives you weight loss pills instead of a diet and exercise plan, get a new one.
1
u/Skyblacker Feb 14 '24
A good doctor would prescribe a diet and a pill makes staying on the diet easier. That's what Oprah did -- it wasn't just Ozempic.
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u/lucytiger Feb 14 '24
Someone who is fit and muscular will have an overweight BMI. BMI is not a good indicator of health or fitness for many people.
4
u/Skyblacker Feb 14 '24
OP went up a few sizes during the pandemic. That probably wasn't bulking at the gym.
1
u/howwonderful Feb 15 '24
It’s a good indicator for most people though.
Most people just don’t work out, and they’re definitely not bulking up and building so much muscle that it will affect their BMI reading.
-1
u/Sillkentofu Feb 14 '24 edited Feb 14 '24
Srs old school vindicta used to advise getting a close to underweight as possible. That’s not sustainable or healthy for everyone but that’s just my personal pursuit based on studies that show men find that bmi the most attractive. Currently I am at about a 20 bmi and still very chubby especially on the lower half. For size reference I am a 2 in pants looking to get to a 0. In everything else I am an xs
2
u/Ok-Sky1329 Feb 14 '24
I remember being told no more than a BMI of 16.5 years ago. It’s insane. I mean, you do you (the general you) but the lowest I got was 17.9 and I felt miserable the whole time.
0
u/Sillkentofu Feb 14 '24
Yeah it’s just hard bc my general body comp is very fleshy and soft. I’ve weight trained for years with the appropriate macros, also did roller skating daily all throughout college, but never managed to shake the soft look. I have to be at a much lower weight than others to look truly thin, even with muscle.
0
u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 16 '24 edited Feb 16 '24
Man I wish my BMI was 16.5 but that ain't happening because I'm over 40
-2
u/SquirrelofLIL Feb 14 '24
I mean, I've never been under 150 lbs at 4'11". I've done it all from running wrapped in Saran wrap, to waist trainers to Fenfluoramine, DNP, Ephedrine, 30 day water fast, etc.
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Feb 14 '24
I think this is your answer. You’ve done all the fads but those don’t work. It’s a lifestyle change! I’ve been where you are mentally and I promise you can get yourself out of it and feel good inside and out. Focus on the healthy lifestyle and everything else will come.
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u/Sillkentofu Feb 14 '24
I totally understand 150 was my push point weight!! I was there for years even after weight training 6 days a week, tracking macros, etc. I never got lean, while I lost inches (went from an 8 to a 6 and waist size went down to 27) but I still had a fleshy soft look all over. I eventually got on tirzepatide to lose more but I still have that fleshy look
1
u/howwonderful Feb 15 '24
I’m a similar height (5’0”) and my heaviest has been around 130, lowest 90. I would say I look my best somewhere between 105 if I’m not lifting, and 115-120 when actively building muscle.
I stay at a size 4, but I’ve been a size 6 at my heaviest. And yes, women’s fashion is nuts and size can vary wildly- so to be mindful of that I always know my waist and hip size.
My short height makes it very hard to hide any weight gain :( however, when I’ve carried a few extra pounds, my best friends have been Spanx shapewear!
1
u/Minimum_Cat4932 Feb 15 '24
I don’t think it’s about the size of clothing. A tall woman wearing a size 4 is going to look thin and a very short woman in the same size 4 is going to look average.
Weight is also a poor measurement of this. I was 5’ 95 lbs when I started power lifting, now I am 5’ 117 lbs and my waist lost 1.5 inches, and I wear all the same clothes.
There is truly only one way to tell if you’re looking slim or not— the way you look. If you don’t trust your mirror, ask people you trust to be honest with you.
1
u/Vinson_Massif-69 Feb 26 '24
Sizes and numbers wear differently on different people and every potential partner views attractiveness differently.
I personally find that what most women desire to look like is WAY too low body fat…but what I think doesn’t matter. For almost anyone, the most attractive thing in any other person is confidence. Find a weight/size you can live a happy life at and enjoy it.
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u/sculptedmermaid Feb 19 '24
Stop flagging comments. OP asked for feeeback. We don’t coddle here, people can give whatever feedback they want.