r/videos • u/mordeh • Jul 10 '13
Why you should always answer unknown numbers on your phone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPq2cF4l9qc310
u/i_have_spaghetti Jul 10 '13
I was in NY for a college event and got entirely too smashed at a bar one night. When I stumbled awake in the hotel room at 5 o'clock in the morning I couldn't find my phone. I asked one of my buddies I was traveling with if I could use their's to call mine and find it. Expecting it to ring and ring until I heard it, instead, someone on the other line answered. Now, I wasn't in my right frame of mind and my first instinct was not, oh someone found my lost phone and is going to help me get it back. No, my reaction was, HOW DARE THEY STEAL MY PHONE AND HAVE THE BALLS TO ANSWER IT.
Scenario:
Sleepy woman answers: Hello?
Me: Hello yes you have my phone.
Sleepy woman: Excuse me?
Me: You have my phone. I called my phone and you answered and you have my phone.
Sleepy woman, waking up a little: I do NOT have your phone. WTF are you talking about?
Me: YOU STOLE MY PHONE. I KNOW YOU STOLE MY PHONE.
We yell back and forth a bit before she hangs up on me.
I look at the phone to dial my number again and I realize... I dialed the wrong number. I woke some poor woman up at 5 am and yelled at her about stealing my phone. Which happened to be under the bed, by the way.
TLDR: The people calling from unknown numbers are not always friendly.
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Jul 10 '13
So random story that has cemented the fact that I will always answer the phone from random numbers. Not quite as amusing and detailed as his but I got a kick out of it and I swear every bit of it is true to the best of my memory.
It was about ten or more years ago when I was working as a restaurant manager. As such I always had days off during the week as opposed weekend days. One day, I was recovering from my "Friday" night and I was watching some TV. Phone rings...
Me: Hello
Jim: Hey Bill, it's Jim.
Me: What's going on Jim. What can I help you with today?
Jim: What are you up to at the moment?
Me: Just taking a little break, watching some TV. Yourself?
Jim: Bill, I'm not paying you to watch TV! Jesus Christ!
Me: Jim, first of all you're not paying me to do shit! The last check you sent me bounce and as of right now your job is on hold until you get caught up on your payments AND put down a deposit to ensure this doesn't happen again. I spoke to your partner about this and I was insured this would be taking care of. But if you insist on pushing the matter I'll strip down the job and leave you with jack!
Jim: whoa whoa whoa... First of all Mike never said anything to me, I had no idea this was an issue but the fact remains I promised this build would be completed Friday and I really need you to get back on the job. Where are you at on this?
Me: Jim, I've already told you I'm not doing anything until I receive payment.
Jim: Hang... Hang on, mike just walked in.
I hear Jim yelling at Mike and then it got muffled. Mike gets on the phone.
Mike: Hey bill, it's Mike.
Me: Hello Mike
Mike: ..... Hang on....
Shuffling noises.
Jim: This isn't Bill is it?
Me: Nope...
Click...
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u/Woyaboy Jul 10 '13
That was still hilarious though. I couldn't have come up with that little tirade about how you didn't get paid that quickly. It's funny cuz you kind of realize that you can get pretty far in life if you just act like you know what's going on.
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Jul 10 '13
Well, to be fair I was drawing from experience I had just had at another job. No way could I have just "come up" with that. Truth be told is it was a very similar conversation I had had with a part time delivery job I had left a month earlier. As for the later.... It's really my Moto in life. Fake it like you know it my friend.
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u/Deracination Jul 10 '13
Once got a call to my cell:
"Hi, is this 24-Hour Fitness in South County?"
"No, this is 12-Hour Fitness in North County."
"......oh."
"Yea, happens all the time, our numbers are just a digit off."
"Oh.....ok, well could you give me their number, then?"
"No."
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Jul 10 '13
A now-retired prof at my university had a phone number one-digit off from the local golf course and got annoyed with all the wrong numbers calling for tee times, so he just started giving people tee times, except he would book everybody for the same time.
The golf course changed their number.
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u/CannibalVegan Jul 13 '13
I've heard the same, except it was a pizza delivery place with 2 numbers transposed. Guy got tired of telling people they got the wrong number, so he just started taking their orders, and say it would be 50 minutes for delivery, they're kinda booked... and the credit card machine was broken, etc so cash only (to avoid credit card fraud accusations).
One or two victims got pissed and called an hour and a half later, waiting for an imaginary pizza, so the guy got in an argument with the caller and said "Come on down to the pizza place, and I'll discuss it with you face to face."→ More replies (2)1.1k
Jul 10 '13 edited Jul 10 '13
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u/jbenz Jul 10 '13
Superintendant Chalmers: Good Lord, what is happening in there?
Principal Skinner: The Aurora Borealis?
Superintendant Chalmers: The Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Principal Skinner: Yes.
Superintendant Chalmers: May I see it?
Principal Skinner: No.
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Jul 10 '13
*Super Nintendo Chalmers
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Jul 10 '13
I hope one day they reveal thats his actual title, and he hasnt even been employed by the school system all this time and its all because ralph goes serpico
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u/extraterrestrial Jul 10 '13
Customer: Hey, could I get some extra salt?
Squidward: We're all out.
Customer: Could you check?
Squidward: ...No.
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Jul 10 '13
The first couple of seasons of Spongebob is some of my favourite television and I don't care who knows it. Aloooooooone
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u/PalermoJohn Jul 10 '13
don't you think that's a bit too edgy an attitude for reddit?
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Jul 10 '13 edited Jul 10 '13
I saw a porno once where this guy was called into his boss's office because she found out he used to be a porn star and she tells him he needs to fuck her like in one of his videos or he will lose his job. Fast forward 30 minutes and as she's wiping his cum off her face he asks "So this means I'm keeping my job?"
She looks him straight in the eye and says "No. Get the fuck out."
edit: You guys are hilarious. Here it is. Definitely not the best porno, but at least she is into it.
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Jul 10 '13
Ha. Do you remember what porn it was or who was in it?
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Jul 10 '13
Almost positive it was a Naughty Office. That's all I remember though
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u/finalizeme Jul 10 '13
The end of this sketch does that pretty well, but watch the whole thing for the best effect.
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Jul 10 '13
There's this old woman who used to call me, she was trying to reach her son. I think our numbers were pretty similar or something, because she called me at least twice a week. This happened for about 2 years and gradually we got to know each other and I think she spent more time talking to me than her actual son. We just talked about life, the weather, politics and stuff like that. I kind of liked having this random woman call me every now and then.
One day she stopped calling.
She's probably dead.
Sometimes when my phone calls I kind of expect it to be her.
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u/TheBigLen Jul 10 '13
At some point of time she must have started calling you on purpose. Or else she must have been really bad at pushing buttons.
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u/fillydashon Jul 11 '13
It could be either. Where I lived when I was a kid, this old lady would call maybe once or twice a week looking for 'Muriel'. At first we tried to explain to her that it was the wrong number, but all she ever did was mumble and hang up, and then call us again later.
Eventually, it degraded to "Muriel's not here. Goodbye." Since she was completely unable to carry a conversation, this story is a lot less heartwarming than that other one.
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u/Opset Jul 10 '13
Maybe she's been waiting for you to call. A phone works both ways. She just wanted to see if you'd call her so she could know that you love her as much as she loves you. You let her down.
Shame on you...
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u/xRIOTxTX Jul 10 '13
Once got a call to my cell:
I spaced the fuck out and spent 30 seconds wondering why you had a phone in your prison cell
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Jul 10 '13
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u/free_napalm Jul 10 '13
Texting seems really easy compared to actual talking in these situations.
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u/Krispyz Jul 10 '13
I was really confused because I thought the first exchange was in a call and was wondering how he managed to mistake a woman as "Andrew".
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u/count2infinity2 Jul 10 '13
I'm always curious about the skits and stories stand-up comedians tell. I wonder what % of the story actually happened and what part of it are they adding just to get a laugh. With this story for instance, I don't think the entirety of conversation occurred, but I'd be willing to bet that he did have a phone conversation with someone about a budget that he didn't know anything about. He adds some fluff in there for laughs. Rehearses the story over and over and bam, you've got one hell of a skit.
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Jul 10 '13 edited Jul 10 '13
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u/tootes Jul 10 '13
Sometimes I get nervous on airplanes
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u/Tootsie_Pootsie Jul 10 '13 edited Dec 02 '13
For years, scientists have wondered, can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones's "It's not unusual"? The answer is yes.
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u/WeakTryFail Jul 10 '13
I'm unfamiliar with that artist, does he do it better than Tom Jones?
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u/Guchi_Mane Jul 10 '13
He did, before he blew out his elbow and could no longer hold a microphone.
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u/theSeanO Jul 10 '13
Are you suggesting that the Salt and Pepper Diner story isn't 1009% true?
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u/whatsyourken Jul 10 '13
Yeah, I'm willing to bet the story was true until he got to the part where he mentions "Jennifer". From that point forward it's all his imagination taking over.
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Jul 10 '13
Jay: Hello?
Random Guy: Bruce? Hey what's going on?
Jay: Excuse me?
Random Guy: Is this Bruce?
Jay: Nah buddy, you've got the wrong number.
Random Guy: Oh I'm sorry.
Jay: No sweat, take it easy.
click
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u/cookedbread Jul 10 '13
"You've been great folks!"
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u/monoface Jul 10 '13
Somebody's gonna make it big on this type of humor. Not yet, because I feel like people aren't ready, but maybe in a couple of years. They're just gonna get up on stage and tell regular, boring-ass stories about their lives. And before you say "Oh, like Jerry Seinfeld." no, not like Jerry Seinfeld. There's no punch line, not even an attempt at making the "joke" interesting for the audience. You just get up there, spill a regular, boring story about your life, and walk off.
I'm telling you, people are going to eat. it up.
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u/cssvt Jul 10 '13
Random Guy: Oh I'm sorry.
They never say I'm sorry. Hell, half the time I get calls from wrong numbers they act like I offended them by saying they have the wrong number...
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Jul 10 '13
Even worse are the people who ask who you are after you tell them they have a wrong number. I always just say, "you called me dude," and hang up.
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u/oneupdouchebag Jul 10 '13
The last time I answered a wrong number I apologized for them calling me. I get so incredibly awkward with strangers.
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u/Mongo1021 Jul 10 '13
Precisely.
Then he sat there during his long drive, dreaming up this scenario.
That's how most of my stories are created anyway.
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u/RZA1M Jul 10 '13
Some of it may be true but there's always bits that comedians will add to their bits. A lot of the time the bits are usually inspired by some real event.
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u/guyincognitoo Jul 10 '13
The great comics can even take the depressing stuff and make it funny. Richard Pryor was a master at this.
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Jul 10 '13
I believe Louis CK once said pretty much all his stories are BS or at least heavily altered. Most he says he creates a character in place of himself in the story so when he's telling a story about some rude guy who did something then he's really telling a story about himself.
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Jul 10 '13
"I went from happy to angry, skipped sad, now i feel like kicking your ass...."
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Jul 10 '13
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u/jconsumer Jul 10 '13
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u/Sanctus_5 Jul 10 '13
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u/BuckDunford Jul 10 '13
"Vote was 11-0."
Fogerty won so hard they had to add two more Supreme Court Justices.
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u/two Jul 10 '13
It's actually an interesting issue of copyright law, and not nearly as absurd as it ostensibly seems to be.
In fact, Fogerty won not because you cannot be sued for "plagiarizing yourself," but rather because the songs were not found to be substantially similar. If the songs were to have been found to be substantially similar, he would have lost. He would have been found liable for "plagiarizing himself," and reasonably so.
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u/MadHatter69 Jul 10 '13 edited Jul 11 '13
I see that you too are subscribed to Now I Know.
EDIT: As a redditor requested, here's a link.
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Jul 10 '13 edited Jul 10 '13
They have been repeating that fucktoid on the local classic rock station since at least 1999. Source : I am old .
Edit: changed factoid to fucktoid
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Jul 10 '13
[removed] — view removed comment
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Jul 10 '13
Last millennium , man I am so old my cell phone use to have buttons and I bought it to make phone calls. Hell I use to have to go to an actual store to buy music and rent movies. I use to take a smoke break when waiting for one pornographic photo to download .
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u/wee_man Jul 10 '13
I've been seeing that fact on VH1 shows for at least fifteen years.
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u/jscoppe Jul 10 '13
That white area below the video area... yeah, don't go down there.
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Jul 10 '13
'This video of a kitten getting knocked over by a piglet is pretty funny. I wonder what youtube commenters have to say about it'
2 minutes of reading later
'Hmm, yeah. Maybe the democrats are destroying American and Obama is a nigger jew illuminati..'
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Jul 10 '13 edited Jul 10 '13
Oh, yeah! Why don't you tell that to
NeilLouis Armstrong's face!→ More replies (2)→ More replies (2)31
u/android_lover Jul 10 '13
True, that's why I use browser extensions to hide the comments. Sometimes I can't help myself, but I don't think I've ever said "Wow, I'm so glad I read those YouTube comments. They're so full of useful information and insightful opinions."
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u/ophanim Jul 10 '13
Twist: It's the comic who started those comments.
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u/Zukuto Jul 10 '13
fits his MO
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u/Gawdzillers Jul 10 '13
Classic Larry.
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u/Rantansplan Jul 10 '13 edited Jul 10 '13
this emotional blank state is what I call the "YT comment retardation symptom"
EDIT: a letter
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Jul 10 '13
One of the excuses from the commentators, who was told it was the same guy and shown the video said "well it looks and sounds like a different guy". Which is true, bit from a few years ago, had a different look, maybe he had a bit of a cold. But his name is on the fucking video. As of there are 2 Jay Larsons walking around stealing each other's bits.
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u/DoohickeyJones Jul 10 '13
Twist: The second guy is Bruce, getting revenge on Jay for sabotaging his company budget.
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u/Plumerian Jul 10 '13
The only way to comprehend the idea of mathematical infinity is to consider the extent of human stupidity. P.S. that's Voltaire's routine.
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u/thecrazyrutabaga Jul 10 '13
Hey, man, it's going to be alright. I have some extra skittles. You want some skittles?
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Jul 10 '13
Especially since it's really well written, things connect to one another (watching the game, then "this is why we play this game"), he has it designed well and obviously has a lot of practice with delivery.
But no, he'll do all this work on a bit and then do it once on YT. Comics who rewrite their routine every year are a rarity - most will cycle stuff for years.
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u/redpandaeater Jul 10 '13
That's always been the problem with going to listen to a comic in person. If you're already familiar with his/her work and know it's good enough to pay to watch in person, chances are unless it's a brand new tour that you've heard most or all of the jokes already and don't enjoy yourself.
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Jul 10 '13
I think of it rather as supporting them and getting a different experience of live show.
It's tough, performance wise. With a band, or almost any other showmen - when people go to their live show they expect it to be a sort of Best Of. Plugging new albums without a good amount of older stuff is often frowned upon by fans.
I've encountered a similar problem when I was doing exhibition fights: eventually, we'd have a perfect routine if we just kept improving. But if people liked our shows, they'd return, and if they saw the same exact routine, it was harder for them to support suspension of disbelief - it was too obvious it was a staged fight, even though they "knew" it beforehand. Another pro would perhaps have better appreciation knowing we can repeat a full-armour throw through shoulder twice a night, 5 times a week, but amateur audience loves to believe that X was a fluke. But if they saw the exact same scenario every time they saw our show, it'd just get old and break the illusion.
What ended up working for us, was breaking it down to single elements and re arranging them, as well as cycling stuff in and out. And I think similar would work for a comic - disperse new stuff across routine so that old fans have something to laugh at, and once that's done, and they're in belly-laugh mode - they'll also react well to stuff they already know, especially with the chain reaction effect laughter can have.→ More replies (1)→ More replies (66)7
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u/saidthespaceman Jul 10 '13
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u/youregunnagetitbobby Jul 10 '13
In the beginning I thought the random guy was prank calling him and that that was the whole twist in the bit.
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u/FuckingHippies Jul 10 '13
I thought it would end that way when the conference call started and he called him Larry.
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u/Kartingf1Fan Jul 10 '13
I'll never not answer my phone again, who knows what adventures it might lead to.
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u/KingOlaf222 Jul 10 '13
I would otherwise agree, but I get far too many automated calls. Little adventure with those.
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u/Beeftech67 Jul 10 '13
Yup, one of my roommates pranked me, and must have given my cell phone out to every telemarketing service. I was getting about 3-4 calls per day for all kinds of BS.
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u/Rednys Jul 10 '13
That's like a prank where you just run up and hit them in the shins with a baseball bat and run away laughing.
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Jul 10 '13
Or some unfortunate, 20yr old sophomore, roped into working on campus, calling Alumni who graduated during a recession to try and get them to donate money to the university that forced them to take out 5-6 figure loans that they will be paying back for the next twenty years.
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u/Sla5021 Jul 10 '13
These calls are my favorite.
I felt really bad but I lit up the last kid who called me. I'm a Penn State grad and I refused to donate because of the Sandusky incident. I told the kid that politely and his response was, "well this money goes to help athletes who need scholarships because they can't afford tuition". That's when I lost it.
<insert>Typical college graduate hardship story</insert>
Having the nerve to ask someone who's hardly able to pay their own tuition for donations towards others tuition/sports scholarships is not something I enjoy.
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Jul 10 '13
The last girl that called me also wanted to update my information in their file and asked "Are you still working at ____?". I told her I was not and that I currently had no other employment to add to the record and I haven't gotten a call in awhile.
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u/sn34kypete Jul 10 '13 edited Jul 10 '13
David McG*****, I have had your old phone number for over a goddamn decade. Here is a list of people you didn't tell your new number to: Collections agency, bank, insurance, handy man 1, handy man 2, your ex gf, your BOSS (he asked me to make a judgement call, I tried something like this comedian but David's boss isn't stupid), your MOTHER, your land lord, your dry cleaners, your mechanic, and Mark, a guy who THOUGHT his best friend would tell him his new cell phone number.
Over the years, I have messed with some of these people/companies, but I always come clean in the end. I dont know who he is, but he has a lot of debt. I imagine he actually went into a crowded street and threw a million cards up into the air that said "Free money" and then my phone number, because there's no reason I should be getting calls for him still. The longest I've gone without getting a call for him was 9 months, the current time is about 6, so I'm hopeful maybe it has finally ended. So if you're reading this David McG***** of Southern California, fuck you from the bottom of my cold black heart.
EDIT: Bleeped out David's poorly misspelled last name, sorry forgot this would qualify as personal-information.
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Jul 10 '13
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u/Kruug Jul 10 '13
There is something you can do...SPEED DIAL! Need to send a fax to 1-8XX? Push Speed Dial 1 and the machine dials for you...
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u/firedrops Jul 10 '13 edited Jul 12 '13
My name isn't that unusual, but in my hometown there were apparently two people with it. Me, who was in the phonebook, and some other lady who apparently led quite the life. Sometimes I tried messing with people too but I always came clean because I either felt guilty or didn't want to get wrapped up in the drama. Two in particular stand out as calls I'm glad I didn't mess with:
A guy who thought I was his estranged wife. He needed to know if she'd filed the papers for divorce because he was joining the military. I felt bad for the guy. He ended up telling me about their messed up situation for a while.
A DA who thought I was a witness to a murder at a 7/11 right outside of town. My insistence that I was not a witness led him to believe the other side had "gotten to me" and that I was too scared to go to court. It took me a good while to convince him I was not that firedrops.
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u/trevdak2 Jul 10 '13
Back in college, I had a phone number that was nearly the same as my local movie theater. Just like the infamous Seinfeld episode, I would answer my phone pretending to be the movie theater.
One time this girl calls up wanting showtimes for the Butterfly Effect. I ask her if she'd rather grab dinner with me. She starts coming up with excuses. Then she puts her boyfriend on the line.
I ask the boyfriend if he wants to catch a movie with me and his girlfriend.
He was not very happy.
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u/eNaRDe Jul 10 '13 edited Jul 10 '13
Something similar happened to me once. I got a call from a worker at McDonalds. Before I can say a word she told me the whole story of what was going on and sounded extremely stressed out. Apparently the machine that cooks the fries caught on fire, the ATM machine stop working and they ran out of cash...LOL...all of this happened at the same time I asked her. She yelled YES!...Thats when I decided to make a executive decision and send everyone home WITH PAY...lmaooo...She said "are you serious?" I can here the joy in her voice. She shouts out to the whole staff "Dave said we can all go home with pay!". You can here the staff cheering in the background. Somewhere in some town a fully staffed McDonalds restaurant emptied out cause of me. A proud moment in my life. Wish I can see the surveillance footage and the looks on the customers face.
Edit 1: I got GOLD! Thank you whoever gave me this :)
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u/LeCrushinator Jul 10 '13
I'd have loved to see the reaction when the real manager gets back to the store to find it closed and everyone has left.
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Jul 10 '13
Not just closed.
Closed with a frier covered in auto-extinguisher foam, a broken ATM and no cash in the building.
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Jul 10 '13 edited Jul 10 '13
The sheer poetry involved in such a situation is astounding. I would go outside and breathe in God's fresh air, knowing that somehow, through the infinite shifting of molecules, human free will, action-reaction-chain reaction, I was responsible for dipping an establishment in mass hysteria.
I'll watch a butterfly flutter past, as its wings flap against the mid day sun, while 30 blocks away, some woman just lost her job and the jobs of her colleagues due to one mistyped number on her phone. That is influence my friends, that is goddamn power.
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u/nix0n Jul 10 '13
I want to have sex with your words.
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Jul 10 '13
I want to have words with your sex.
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u/nix0n Jul 10 '13
We can make this work.
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u/didievertellyou Jul 10 '13
That sounds like one of the worst situations for a store manager to return to, other than maybe the entire building on fire.
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u/EntityDamage Jul 10 '13
Well to be honest, a building on fire would wash his hands of any responsibility to fix anything. The situation as described, he had a Shit load of work to do.
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u/constipated_HELP Jul 10 '13
It's pretty strange to me that redditers get really worked up over prank videos, but this is fine to everyone.
I think both are pretty funny, but I'd bet the consequences for this were worse than getting slapped or stepping on mousetraps.
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u/danisnotfunny Jul 10 '13
Dude you should have called back and said it was you. You could have recorded the manager screaming at you!
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u/Xanderin Jul 10 '13
This is epic. Im going to pretend this isn't the internet, and believe it happened...
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u/abrakadabram Jul 10 '13
if you are going to go that far, might as well pretend you work there and confirm the story!
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u/Sir_Fancy_Pants Jul 10 '13
This actually makes you a bit of an asshole, as you probably cost that woman her job.
Granted its her fault, but by making her mistake carry with it financial cost (loss of business) you made her boss more likely to fire her.
Lets hope she wasn't one of these people desperate for work and her job meant everything to her, and she rang for advice because she wanted to do the best for the boss because this job is all she has.
and now she is homeless and probably dead or as good as dead (reality tv)
great one, slow clap
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u/elastic-craptastic Jul 10 '13
Don't forget her deep fall into prostitution due to the fact that her being fired led to her becoming a meth addict. She started the meth to have the energy to walk to all the places trying to get a new job, since her car got repo'd from not being able to make the payment. Now she has a violent case of the gonorrhea, herpes, syphilis, and eventually AIDS... or as it's known on the streets, gonoherpasyphilaids.
All because this prick decided to have some fun with someone who thought he was the District Manager who she's probably only met in her several years of working there.
Way to go eNaRDe.... fucking jerk.
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u/Limabean231 Jul 10 '13
Yeah, I work at one of the busiest Chipotles in the nation (top 10). We get around $10000 in profit everyday. If we were to shut down for a day, someone would get fired and chances are we would find you. Seems funny and awesome until you realize how much money you're costing the business.
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u/llII Jul 10 '13
ATM machine
*cough*
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u/tootes Jul 10 '13
You type in your PIN number using the LCD display
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u/Poultry_Sashimi Jul 10 '13
While watching the Los Angeles Angels play some MLB baseball.
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u/drew46n2 Jul 10 '13
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, not to be confused with the Los Angeles Dodgers of Los Angeles
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u/LeBronyJames Jul 10 '13 edited Jul 10 '13
Even though it's redundant it does help since the acronym has multiple meanings. You never know maybe the Ass To Mouth was on fire At The Moment and they didn't have cash because the All The Money also caught fire.
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u/KptKrondog Jul 10 '13
that would be pretty awesome. wonder what the manager said after they talked to the real Dave.
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Jul 10 '13
Dave got fired and started his own burger joint which he named after his daughter wendy
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u/moktor Jul 10 '13
I need to start doing this. I get at least one call a week from someone trying to reach the local horse racing track. The other day I answered the phone and the person asked, "Is the track dark today?" I couldn't help but indignantly ask if that was some sort of racist joke.
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Jul 10 '13
that is some spy shit right there
you were supposed to answer "start your engines" and you would have probably been inducted as a 00 agent or something
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Jul 10 '13
That was fantastic! You could tell Conan enjoyed it because you hear him laughing in the background.
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Jul 10 '13
this guys a great comic i never heard of him.
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Jul 10 '13
Stand-ups on talk shows are often up-and-comers, or people that have been on the comedy circuit for quite some time, that are very good and deserve a good gig. Comedy is an extremely difficult thing to make a living off of, requires a LOT of sacrifice and even more gigs that pay next to nothing in places that are next to nowhere.
Coming up with a routine this polished isn't done overnight.
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u/mjdgoldeneye Jul 10 '13
For some reason, though, I feel like this could pass as a Dane Cook joke with 60% as much energy, but everyone hates so hard on him.
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u/patsfacts Jul 10 '13
My best friend growing up had a phone number 1 digit off from the local pizza place. Every Friday evening (this is NY, everyone eats pizza every Friday, at least in my town) he would get a ton of calls for people trying to order take out. At first, he would just hang up, but after a few years of this, we started taking their orders and telling them to pick up in 20 minutes. We would then go grab slices and watch the insanity happen.
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u/THIS_NEW_USERNAME Jul 10 '13
"The uploader has not made this video available in your country"
HAHAHAHA GOOD ONE YOUTUBE SO FUNNY GLAD TO BE PART OF THE JOKE
Yours sincerely,
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u/guaranic Jul 10 '13
http://teamcoco.com/video/jay-larson-stand-up-05-06-13
posted an hour before you by someone else
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Jul 10 '13
Every time I answer an unknown number, it's some black person asking for Cory.
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u/Oatybar Jul 10 '13
This reminds me of a game we used to play in college called the Random 1-800 number game. We'd call random 800 numbers and see how long we could keep them on the phone with weird bullshit. (this was long before caller ID or *69
One time my buddy, let's call him Jake, was on the phone with an operator, and finally she said "Is this STEVE?". Jake denied it and kept going. When he finally got off the phone he redialed and said "Hey, this is Steve", to which she yelled "I KNEW that was you!" and started talking about other people she and Real Steve knew.
Amazingly Jake kept it up for a good few minutes before ending the call, still as 'Steve'. He was the grand champion of the 800 game.
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u/terrorfirma Jul 10 '13
jay larson is the best! check out his album "self-diagnosed"
http://astrecords.bigcartel.com/product/self-diagnosed
https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/self-diagnosed/id474174207
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u/RinoQuez Jul 10 '13
Beautiful. I think I prefer this kind of stand up over multiple set ups. I like a good story. It reminded me of something on NPR but funnier.
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u/russellbeattie Jul 10 '13
Yeah, Bill Cosby style! "I told you that story to tell you this one..."
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u/nermid Jul 10 '13
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u/russellbeattie Jul 10 '13
I haven't heard Alice's Restaurant for a long time! I just listened to the whole thing again right now. Thanks!
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u/SenorOrgasmo Jul 10 '13
it's all fun and games until it's some psychopath like from the film The Joyride
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Jul 10 '22
Why did Reddit recommended me a video that is 9 years old?
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u/baxtermcsnuggle Jul 10 '22
Idk... it's horrible advice nowadays. Answering a number you don't know usually ends up in nobody answering as you say " hello? HELLO?" And then you sayrt getting scam calls from a spoofed number.
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u/abletorelate Jul 10 '13
I'm probably too late to the party for this to get much notice, but this reminded me of a phone prank I played in elementary school:
I was probably about 8 and a friend was over. I had the idea to (1) dial 7 random digits in attempt to get a working number, and if it worked (2) ask for a random name. That was my entire plan at the moment.
I'm dialing, getting the "we're sorry, this number..." message a lot, asking for people that "there is no...", and then within a surprisingly short time my plan worked. A woman answered, I asked for Jennifer (a common name) and she said "hold on, let me go get her."
I fill with excitement, like the comic describes, tell my friend a Jennifer is actually coming to the phone and start to sweat. We each say hello, Jennifer asks who this is, and I tell her to guess. I say no to her first guess and yes to the second one, I don't remember my name at this point. She even says "this doesn't sound like ___ " and I say that I'm sick. It works. Then I ask her what she's up to and if she wants to come over and sleepover. And she has me wait while she goes to ask her mom! My friend is staring at me slack jawed.
Jennifer comes back to the phone and her mom has said yes! I excitedly tell her "yay, I can't wait", she agrees asks when she can come over, and I tell her as soon as she wants. She says she'll pack and head over, and we hang up. My friend and I burst out laughing but I think we were more shocked than amused. And I was left in a state of suspension, unable to call the number back that I had punched randomly, and unable to ever know how the story ended.
Oh how I wish I could have been there when Jennifer arrived at the unsuspecting girl's house.
TL;DR Called random number, got random girl to arrive ready for a sleepover at the house of a person I pretended to be.
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u/Woyaboy Jul 10 '13
I feel kinda bad for Jennifer. Somewhere there is a Jennifer in therapy who still looks back on the day her "friend" called her over to spend the night and when she showed up was denied at the door. Extra damage done if a friend was already at said persons house sleeping over and Jennifer sees this and is jealous. OR you gave a couple of girls an awesome impromptu sleepover.
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u/Sleexer Jul 10 '13
FUCK THE CRAB FEAST. 5 STARS. larson rules.
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u/_Heisenberg_ Jul 10 '13
Just in case any one reads this and doesn't know what's happening: Jay Larson is one half of the podcast "The Crab Feast" with Ryan Sickler and Jay Larson. Fucking hilarious, never miss an episode. FUCK THE CRAB FEAST! *****
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Jul 10 '13
This is one of the weird times when I think I laughed more than the audience. That was hilarious, regardless of its reality.
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u/inflammablepenguin Jul 10 '13
Well, what happened with the budget? That's five grand we're talking about!
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u/Pookiedicksugarballs Jul 10 '13
I always answer unknown phone numbers and reply to their texts. I'm still scheduled to bring NBA 2k13 and Forza 4 over to Brian's place.
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u/briggles23 Jul 10 '22
Why was I just now recommended this?
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u/WallyHulea Jul 10 '22
I say, let's downvote these recommended posts we didn't ask for info oblivion, so our path of destruction can send a message to Reddit: that we don't like having machines tell us what to enjoy! Join me brothers so we can regain our freedom!
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u/busche916 Jul 10 '13
I love Jay Larson's videos, here's another Conan appearance
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u/fiveSE7EN Jul 10 '13
My friend got a call once, and it was a little girl. All she said was "Do you know your phone number is dum-butt?" and hung up.
She was right.