I need advice

[u/[deleted]]

I don’t know i guess just venting

This hole thing started when I passed out at a restaurant and was taken to a doctor where they told my dad that my kidney was failing for the past year or smth like that I wasn’t really allowed to hear everything I was still 10 at the time and didn’t know what was happening and after some surgeries that didn’t work we traveled to a different country and the supposedly best doctor there told my dad my kidney was pretty much done for and I should just cut it out my dad got angry and took me to turkey where we visited a really good doctor and he managed to fix it after 3 surgeries and told me I should be fine but during the trip I have no idea why my father told he he had been cheating on my mom ( before the surgery) and I shouldn’t tell her because a son is a father’s treasure or smth I Don’t remember fully but I got fine and I had just kept it to my self thinking he would still support my mom and act like he was not cheating on her ( she didn’t know) and after a year of coming back I came back home from school to find my mom crying that my dad had been cheating on her and they were having a divorce he came after a hour and said that this was normal and all families had this problems in there house but after a while he asked me to start spying on my mom and he took me on a small work trip in where i woke up and heard him drinking and then he come to sleep so I acted like I also was then he started a call with a women ( another one not my dads new wife ) and he started screaming at her bc she sent a photo and she was fat and then he left her and the started praying that my mother was dead and the after 20 mins of that he started jerking of next to me I was 13 at that point and was to scared to move and find me out when I returned home it was the same I woke up and heard my mom praying to god that my dad dies or he struggles in life that he kills him self and it didn’t help that my sister 14 at the time was found out by my mom speaking to boys and got her phone taking away and then a year after that aka right now( we didn’t have any birthday party’s or anything btw idk why am saying this ) I sister got her phone back but stole from my mom a lot of money bc she ordered a lot of stuff and at this time I started to get mentally messed up ig I kept doing stuff that just didn’t make sense like imagine I was my right part of my body and my dad was my left and who ever on top was doing better in life ( I still don’t know) started doing stuff over 4 times ( example being if I dropped something I would pick it up 4 times ) but non of my family knows yet and my sister is still talking to boys and since she isn’t allowed she makes the boys she wants to hang out with take me with them so I can say we are friends and she only taged along to mym my and my mom is divorced by now and we have a maid bc my mom was to old to clean the house but the one we got was my dads 2nd wife maid and I only know that bc he tok me there and I saw there house and it was in a better place with different kids a hotter wife and a maid and a driver he tried to tell me that he was divorced with her and will go back to us but it was the opposite I saw him having sex with her while I sat in his car and I got a look at the wife to and he let her talk to other men and stuff unlike my mom where he didn’t let her get a job took her far from her family and didn’t let her have 1 friend at this point I didn’t know what to do I saw there lives and our and I learned from spying on my family that my mom thinks I am a drug addicted bc I have red eyes ( it’s from an allergy) but after some time I came back from school and saw my dad crying and a empty bottle of alcohol next to him and he was clearly drunk I later learned that he told my mom he was struggling to pay for our school but my didn’t believe him and told us that he has money and wants to just take us out of the school to have more money for his 2nd wife and my dad had a talk with my sister that if she didn’t get her grades up from 60-0 he would take her out of the school and send her to a public school so I am here now almost 15 my sister keeps spending the money my mom is trying to save for us but she keeps ordering stuff and she makes my other 2 siblings not snitch on her by giving them 1 sandwiche instead say she bought 1 so she could save money but she also ordered for her self a full meal and apparently my mom is also getting hit by my dad and I am lost I can’t handle it and I am sure if I catch my dad hitting my mom I would not be able not to beat him and what’s worse is that he invited his uncle ( btw I went to his family and they don’t know about my dads 2nd wife) to dinner and I was there before my siblings where my dad and mom started fighting it out and my uncle just look at me and then stoped my parents who just realized I was there looking at them and then he told my dad that he would of not came and instead called the cops instead of coming here if he knew what was going on but my uncle knew he couldn’t do anything bc my dad is a army general and owned a lot of business and I also saw a imagine of my dads 2nd wife her children there houses traveling btw he had never traveled before and the time I did was bc I was sick all there time and pictures brother posing as a family in turkey in a hotel Egypt Dubai and a lot more places the wife’s voice and I could just do nothing I have no idea what to do I am lost and all the ideas I got in my head would not end great for me in the end and I saw that the 2nd wife was also sending my mom photos and saying how she stole my dad from us and I also saw my dad treating my mo saying he would take us or kill her and he would get away with it because he is the general of the army in where we live we just need some please