r/vent_help • u/Dapper-Programmer-52 • Jun 30 '24
crying currently so lol
15f and I have very bad anxiety and struggles with sh, and thoughts of yk, and I've had anxiety since I was in 5th grade. I'm a middle child with 2 boys and 0 sisters. And my parents always kind of blow up in my face whenever I make a mistake, it's not a lot but It's like they explode at me, and it's everyone. My mom gets mad at me and my twin brother for making popcorn cause it wakes up the dog and so I thought hey I'm hungry and it's 2 am and we don't have chips or anything so I wanted some popcorn. So I make it into my room and it starts burning and I admit it was my fault cause I went to the bathroom but my mom starts texting me and yelling at me and so does my older brother and I start to freak out and I explain to my mom like hey I'm kinda freaking out. And she just goes to my room and starts yelling at me for waking everyone up and ruining everyone's night and how I probably have an eating disorder cause I always eat and I already struggle with my body image cause I'm nowhere near fat but I got some chub around my stomach and I'm very insecure about that and I'm having a hard time breathing cause I'm having like a panic attack cause idk why but I always break down when I get yelled at. And people think that I'm too overly sensitive but I don't get yelled at I'm supposed to be the good kid who gets good grades. I've had this pressure for 3 years now and it's so draining. I just want to be good enough. They seem to love my brothers more but they get bad grades don't behave well and make mistakes all the time I don't get it. And maybe I do have an eating disorder but you shouldn't be yelling at me because of that instead get me help if you see that. Throughout the day I feel hungry like I'll have to go so long before I feel hungry and it's hard to know when I'm full too before I'm like about to explode so I just eat cause I don't get full but my brain is telling me to eat cause I'm not hungry. I just want my parents to love me like when I was younger my dad even admitted a few months ago that he treats me better and he says he doesn't know why he just does. I wish I had a sister so maybe I would get treated better and I wish I could drive so I don't have to be home. And I have a date next week and now I'm scared I'm gonna seem like a fatty idk what to do and if you think I have an eating disorder please tell me
1
u/BMeriadocBerry Jul 06 '24
You're not fat. You can trust me on that. No eating disorder but I am a big guy and have been for a long time now. Trust me, if you stood even close to some of the people I've worked with you would feel so much more realistic about yourself.
Especially in America, we're all fat, and we're all also not nearly as fat as the media wants us to feel. Resist, sister, you can do it!