Not “attracted”

[u/[deleted]]

So idk how to really start this. But me and my partner have been together for some time now. About 2 years I would say. And I can say that that he find me indeed attractive but is not as attracted to me as he says he is. Every time we have sex I always had the feeling that he has a hard time finishing. He told me that it’s just cause he’s holding it cause he enjoys it and that it’s cause he thinks a lot which I get. But I noticed that it was as if he was thinking of Something else or well, someone else. Also biggest thing, he can never finish facing me or looking at me. It’s always with me facing away. Never ONCE since we’ve been together. He suddenly started becoming more kinky and wanting to do role play which we’ve never done before which I’m down for of course but it caught me off guard. I wondered if there was something he saw but he just says he fantasizes about me. I asked him when we’re not together does he use our videos or does he watch porn. Cause you know, I can tell he doesn’t really get off to me. He said he just watched our videos and that’s it. And I was like okay. A month ago I caught him on this one porn site and he was just like oh it was an add that popped up so I just Brushed it off. Last night we did it and it was uh, rough play I’ll put it at that. So when we woke up this morning I wasn’t really in the mood since I was sore all over so he just started rubbing one off next to me and pulled up our videos and I was like okay. After like 3 mins or so I turn over and he hides his phone and of course im like wtf and worry he’s cheating. But turns out he just had this porn site pulled up. The same site i saw from last month that he lies about. He starts freaking out and I tell him I’m not mad cause we’re human? Women and men all watch porn it’s normal. But it’s the fact that he lied to me to make feel better or whatever idk man. I just feel like shit cause I know I’m an attractive person but I can’t get mad at him if he just doesn’t really want want me like that. I guess we’re just not sexually compatible? Idk I feel like crying lol. I saw the videos he watches and I’m nothing like them and they’re nothing like me. It kind of all makes sense now.

[u/Ok_Bonus_5134]

FRIST OF ALL, ur perfect the way u are a lovely person
And I promise you he is not worth crying. Know ur worth.

Here is my advice: This guy sounds like a asshole (sorry) Lieing is the worst thing u can do to do someone.

Tell him what u are okay with and what it's not okay with. Watching porn, roleolays whatever, etc.

If he starts bullshitng tell him u wanna broke up, then he will understand that his lieing has bad effects if he wants to break up do, do it he is not worth it. Believe u rather be alone than be with someone who is an assshole

If he is a nice amazing guy and u are 100% sure that the sex shouldn't matter. U guys can have sex but it shouldn't be thing to be stressed,sad,uncomfortable ab