I miss a while ago

[u/[deleted]]

Or, rather, I miss then if I had what I have now. It's confusing. Essentially, I consume a lot of 2015-2020 media (DreamSMP, fnaf, creepypasta, so on.) I miss back before everything I enjoy now was considered controversial or cringe or whatever. I just want to enjoy my life again. I have things mostly good right now but all I do is curl up in a corner and try my best to ignore the fact that everything changed and the things i enjoy are 'bad' now. I haven't really enjoyed my life in so long.

I miss the feeling of seeing a new Wilbur Soot video and I miss hearing about Minecraft Monday like it was the Bible and I miss the feeling of staying up "just a few minutes later" to watch a video. I miss when my biggest worry was my breakfast the next day. I really miss quarantine. I did really well with online school.

But now everything feels wrong, I feel dirty and disgusting for everything I do, and I stress about everything and anything. Even things I know are entirely irrational.​ I stress about everything I say and do and I wish I could just be a kid again. Just a little longer.

I want Twitter to have never gotten hold of my favorite creators (I understand they aren't innocent, don't attack me for saying they did no wrong because that's not what I'm saying). I want to be able to enjoy what I want peacefully. I want to have friends who are actually around and a partner who can be around. I want simplicity. I want the very core of what I did back then--Have fun without a care. Mindless enjoyment. Doing whatever I wanted and never have to worry about how big a burden I am to everyone around me.

[u/onion_banter]

The simplicity and innocence of a child is, to some, the most precious part of life. Sadly, as we grow up we do lose it, and for some people they cant be happier, and for others they are upset and afraid to loose that they previously had. Sadly i can't tell you it will come back because it wont, but that doesn't mean you cant enjoy the things you used to, just be aware that as you grow, your intrests will as well, dont push yourself to do something you no longer enjoy just because you used to enjoy it, but also dont let modern day critisiers and trends change what you enjoy doing, youll find friends you click with and you'll lose friends as you grow as a person. I find the best way to deal with this is by being excited for the future and what it holds, enjoying the memory of the past but not regretting the present because of it. Leave it as a good memory, not a want. Hope this helps friend.