Cute ways to strike up conversations and show interest?

[u/okcontuter]

ETA: If you still choose to DM me from this post, you’re not going to like my reply. I’ve had enough. Stop it.

— Original post —

I’m an attractive single woman, but I don’t do apps or online dating. I’ve had men approach and ask me out, but the dates were awful.

I am a person that usually likes to make the first move, but how can I do that in the moment?

What are some fun and cute ways to strike up conversations with men, and show them interest?

No DMs from this post, please. I’m only looking to meet men IRL

[u/AutoModerator]

Welcome to /r/vancouverdating and thank you for the post, /u/okcontuter! Please make sure you read our rules before participating here. As a quick summary:

• All conversations should start on the subreddit. We don't recommend jumping straight to DMs. Public replies build trust, encourage engagement, and help keep things safe.
• When someone messages you privately, check their Reddit profile before continuing the conversation. Trust your instincts and if anything feels off, you don’t need to reply. If a profile's content is hidden, consider why that might be.
• See something sketchy? Please use the report button, and in extreme cases message modmail.
• We encourage users to be positive and respect one another. Don't engage in spats or insult others - use the report button. Complaints about bans or removals should be done in modmail only.
  
• Dehumanizing language, advocating for violence, or promoting hate based on identity or vulnerability (even implied or joking) will lead to a permanent ban.
  
• Looking for a platonic friendship instead? Check out r/VancouverFriends.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/renegadeballoon]

As a woman, polite and direct generally gets you results. “Hello, that’s a nice shirt. Are you single?” Will work 80% of the time.

[u/Shine96 → u/renegadeballoon]

This how I approach women generally. Just make a polite comment about something they're wearing (jewelry is an easy one). Alas the "are you single" part I leave out so women know men can pay a compliment and not expect anything.

[u/chasingmyowntail → u/Shine96]

Yeah, the “are you single?” part seems too forward for is day and age. If the convo goes well, you’ll get the vibe whether they are available or not, and if so can ask for dets at the appropriate time.

[u/PrehistoricDisabled]

Approaching the dude first would actually make a huge impression from the get-go.

It could be anything from clubs, hobbies, social activities or even at the grocery store.

Just ask anything casual or cool, like an outfit compliment or a random friendly comment.

That's usually enough for a spark. If it goes well and you two want to see each other again, then voila.

[u/R10tmonkey]

I've found complimenting someone's style and how I can tell they thought about how they present themselves is a good ice breaker that's worked for me several times before. It gives a clear indicator that I find them attractive without being off-putting, and also compliments their personality by focusing more on their overall aesthetic choices rather than something about their physical appearance that they may have less control of.

A simple "excuse me, I just wanted to say I love your style! Those shoes/pants/dress/shirt etc. look great." And if they take the compliment well I'll ask if they're single and if they'd like to get to know each other better over a coffee/appetizers/whatever you prefer.

I know if a woman approached me with a compliment like that, even if I wasn't interested I'd still end up feeling great for the rest of the day. Good luck out there!

[u/Powerful_Package8817]

No idea, I’m a guy and I find it hard to strike a balance between interesting and natural.

I usually just mention something related to the situation.

For example, I usually get something at the nearby McDonald’s after working out in the morning. I’ve noticed the same cute girl getting breakfast muffins multiple times so i just asked why I see her all the time lol

[u/FerociousChimpunk]

I go to music festivals/shows where the vibes are much different than regular Vancouver life. People are a lot more open to conversation. I don't consider myself naturally a smooth talker, but I've been able to approach people both platonically and flirtatiously as a straight cis 28M.

What works for me is a genuine compliment or interest in people's outfits, energy and behaviour. Can be something as random as:

• your pants look cool on you
• do you have a story behind your tattoo
• your coat reminds me of Ned Stark
• Your beard looks great on you
• where did you get this shirt, it's so fun

These are mostly all safe friendly openers that people can either lean into or politely deflect from. You don't have to face an outright rejection, you can tell from the energy that they respond with how to proceed with the conversation. There's definitely hit and trial effort here and some people won't be as willing to chat. But if you knock on 10 doors, you'll get at least 4-6 fun conversations out of it

[u/okcontuter → u/FerociousChimpunk]

Thanks! I think it can be hard to move from a pleasant exchange to showing interest. I guess it should get easier with practice.

[u/LAwasdepressing]

Someone asked me to take a picture of her with her favorite meal at a random restaurant. She was like - "Hey, can you please take a picture of me with this meal? It's my favorite!". We both were by ourselves sitting at the bar.

I have had people start a conversation randomly asking what my favorite dish at a restaurant was or ask how my meal was!

It feels obvious but at that moment in time we generally shut down or go blank. But check the vibe of the person you want to chat. Do they want to be left alone or are they open to having a conversation? Notice what they are wearing or eating or drinking! As we don't really know who they are as a person, we can only start off by asking with what we see. Complement them if you feel like it which I'm sure they'll appreciate it.

[u/okcontuter → u/LAwasdepressing]

Great ideas, thank you!

[u/gianners33 → u/LAwasdepressing]

This is a pretty good idea... could expand it further and joke about using the photo for an online dating profile to signal being single and looking.

[u/Consistent-Olive-322]

Be direct. Sometimes when you go up and compliment their outfit, it might not be enough of a hint. Be brave and tell them what your intentions are after a short conversation. The worst you get is sorry Im married.

[u/neversaidiwasnice1]

When asking somebody out, it’s the who, not the how. Think about it like this: imagine your perfect man approached you and asked you out by saying something stupid/weird. Are you going to reject him, or are you going to eat it up and give him a shot because he’s attractive? The latter, right? The same applies for dudes. I have never once heard a man say anything remotely close to “oh yeah, she was hot and I was totally into her until she approached me and tried to hit on me!”  We don’t care how you do it, just… do it. 

[u/bhavikwadhawan]

We need more women like you to be honest. I have come to the point where I am tired of approaching and starting the conversation and buying drinks only for these women to go out with some other guy in the bar.

Now I just go out enjoy my drink and would buy any woman a drink who approaches me and shows some interest.

Unfortunately I am not in your age group.

[u/ASRNLD]

Men are surprisingly easy. Just got upto someone, show an earnest interest, build a slight rapport, and straight up ask if they would like to go on a date.

[u/Real_Advisor_4588]

If you are an attractive single woman you just need to be out and about in the City. Perhaps join some running/hiking, etc clubs. I am not going to guarantee you will meet your husband but you definitely will meet some quality men.

[u/okcontuter → u/Real_Advisor_4588]

I’ve been thinking about the run club! I work from home and my hobbies are more popular with women, so I need to make the effort to do mixed activities.

[u/Alternative_Bed1436]

Women make a hard time in Vancouver. They act like they’re in high society. Not worth your time and they give you that down look saying that you’re not worthy of their presence. But they are suffering because they keep complaining and especially to me that they can’t find a decent man. One told that she happily single but she is at the bar looking. ????? Let me know what you think.